It being Fathers day I just had to write about, Dad. Yeah, I love him and miss him. But what I wanted to write about was being able to write or say that. That wasn't always the case. Not because it was't true but because of convention. I was raised in a time and place where men didn't talk like that. No sir, that kind of talk was just , well, sissified !
I would describe Dad's parenting style as, authoritarian. Somewhat stern and no nonsense about him. His concept of a bonding moment was to allow you to drive a nail or drive the car. I certainly don't recall any moments when he hugged me or, dare I say , kissed me. Even now that just sounds weird. I'm sure Dr. Phil would have an explanation for that. No Dad was Dad. Father, the boss and the final word. There was no appealing his decisions and no questioning them either.
A man's man. You had to be tough and capable. Tackle any task that needed doing and no complaining about it. You were expected to work hard and play just as hard. What was expected of you was clear enough. The standards were different for each of us kids. For instance I was expected to graduate high school. No if's, and's, or but's about that. My sister was not held to that standard. The choice was hers.
I can only remember a very few occasions when I would say he played with us kids. Foot races and hitting a baseball is about it. Later on he did like to play scrabble with me. Other than that he was always working or doing something around the house.
I have to say I left home when I was eighteen. I only visited with him for a few weeks at a time over the years. I never really got to know him as an adult. I regret that. From what others tell me Dad was actually a fun kinda guy. I never saw that side of him. I hear he could be sensitive and show compassion. My Dad ?
I did see a glimpse of this other man once. I was at his bedside in the hospital. I was still in the Navy then and my time at home was over. I had to return to my duty station. He was very ill. I told him I had to go. He extended his hand. As I took it for a handshake his strength seemed to return for just a moment. His grip tightened on my hand and he pulled me closer. Then his dark penetrating eyes met mine. He said," I won't see you again. I love you, Bub. " I squeezed his hand in return and said, I love you too. And if I don't see you again, I'll see you on the other side. And those were the last words I ever said to him. It took a lifetime and will last a lifetime. It was genuine and heartfelt. And as Forrest Gump would say, " that's how I feel abut that. " Happy Fathers Day.
I would describe Dad's parenting style as, authoritarian. Somewhat stern and no nonsense about him. His concept of a bonding moment was to allow you to drive a nail or drive the car. I certainly don't recall any moments when he hugged me or, dare I say , kissed me. Even now that just sounds weird. I'm sure Dr. Phil would have an explanation for that. No Dad was Dad. Father, the boss and the final word. There was no appealing his decisions and no questioning them either.
A man's man. You had to be tough and capable. Tackle any task that needed doing and no complaining about it. You were expected to work hard and play just as hard. What was expected of you was clear enough. The standards were different for each of us kids. For instance I was expected to graduate high school. No if's, and's, or but's about that. My sister was not held to that standard. The choice was hers.
I can only remember a very few occasions when I would say he played with us kids. Foot races and hitting a baseball is about it. Later on he did like to play scrabble with me. Other than that he was always working or doing something around the house.
I have to say I left home when I was eighteen. I only visited with him for a few weeks at a time over the years. I never really got to know him as an adult. I regret that. From what others tell me Dad was actually a fun kinda guy. I never saw that side of him. I hear he could be sensitive and show compassion. My Dad ?
I did see a glimpse of this other man once. I was at his bedside in the hospital. I was still in the Navy then and my time at home was over. I had to return to my duty station. He was very ill. I told him I had to go. He extended his hand. As I took it for a handshake his strength seemed to return for just a moment. His grip tightened on my hand and he pulled me closer. Then his dark penetrating eyes met mine. He said," I won't see you again. I love you, Bub. " I squeezed his hand in return and said, I love you too. And if I don't see you again, I'll see you on the other side. And those were the last words I ever said to him. It took a lifetime and will last a lifetime. It was genuine and heartfelt. And as Forrest Gump would say, " that's how I feel abut that. " Happy Fathers Day.
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