The Paul Harvey effect

I have taken an interest in the family tree and collecting old photographs on those people. Some I have known and others I never met. Still others where born and died long before my time. I have a small collection on the walls around my computer station. I was just wondering what will become of them after my passing. I wonder if the kids or grandchildren will be as interested as I am ? Will they want to hang pictures of people they don't even know on their walls ? Would you, do you ?
I didn't develop this interest until I became about forty. The computer and Ancestry.com got me started with it. I am not living in my hometown but thought the resources of the internet would suffice. I must say I have been more than satisfied with the results. I can now build that tree several generation back with all confidence in its' accuracy. I was able to " discover " those ancestors that were unknown to my parents. I have even secured some pictures from past generations that are not even in this country ! Now that is pretty cool stuff. But I do wonder if anyone past myself will think so.
I have thought about making copies of all those pictures. My thought is to catalog them and put them in a safe place. I currently have most of them scanned to the computer in a file I call the Archives. I am thinking a hard copy should also be maintained. I don't want to take the ones off the wall and store them away, after all, the purpose of having them is to enjoy them. Thinking about that after my passing I have doubts anyone would collect them all together and preserve them. I have been to many yard sales and such and seen pictures like these for sale. Mostly people buy them for the frames and those pictures are discarded. I do know my own Great Grandmother had amassed a ton of newspaper clippings and many notes about our family. All of that was discarded after her passing. It had sat in the corner of the room untouched for many years. When Great Grandfather left that house it was " cleaned " out. How much information and old photographs may have been tossed out is a tragedy. I wouldn't want that to happen to my stuff.
I'm thinking I may construct a " treasure " chest for this sole purpose. I would keep the copies in there. No frames, just the documents. I think if I did that there would be a greater chance that these things will be saved. I think you have to take the work out of it. Taking things down and packing them away requires quite a bit of effort, know what I mean ? If you draw attention to the fact that these items are special to you perhaps they will survive another generation or two anyway. Especially so I think it you attach some sort of explanation to that item. I know that picture is my dog but right now there are only four  others in this world that would know that. My Mom and my siblings. The dogs name was Ladie, pronounced like an Irishman might, aye Ladie. The brother to that dog lived next door and his name was chewy. Just a bit of life trivia but gives value to the picture. Without that it is a picture of a dog. Think how many pictures,awards or cards and letters you have received over the years. How many others will know the story behind them ? It is the Paul Harvey effect. The rest of the story. I don't want my story to end. I think it may be wise to do some preparation myself. I'll write the book, you read it.

You decide

I have decided that we are as good at something as we believe ourselves to be. The first person we need to convince of our talent is, the first person,ourselves. That is something that I struggle with. I have seen others that have this certainty in their life. I have often wondered how they obtained that confidence. In spite of rejection by the general population and in the face of would be critics, they continue. The thing is, in my opinion I see a lot of those that are somewhat lacking that seem totally unaware. In all fairness I see those that are very successful that I would also take exception with. I guess that is where we fall into the category of taste.
I do have some issues with critics when it comes to judging others creative abilities. Take, for instance, art. Those high browed abstract expressions that I can make no sense of. Strange to me how anyone would be willing to pay millions of dollars for them. The critics rave about them and go on about their deep meaning. Sorry, I don't see it that way. I'm sure the artist does though, they have convinced themselves that these works are great. Then they have convinced others. I do think that is the second half of the equation. First they have to be certain that they are great. Take anything you can think that is popular and that had to be the formula. First someone had to decide that whatever it is, it is great. Someone ,somewhere decided that rap music was talent. Not in my book. Now they teach courses in College about the social implications invoked in those raps. My opinion, aww, I 'd rather read the classics.
I would say we all require validation for our efforts. I think the difference may lie in the amount of validation that we require. To some a simple, that's pretty good, is sufficient for them to continue. For others, rave reviews and constant accolades are not enough. How much convincing do you need ? Or is it really, how much are you willing to risk ?
Fad and fashion are certainly driven in that way. At one time expressions like twenty three skee doo and I'm hip man were all the rage. Someone somewhere had to first use those expressions. Then others were convinced they were rad. See what I mean ? Now there are hipsters walking around. Don't know a whole lot about them, but someone had to start that fad.
I find myself wondering just where that confidence comes from. I hear people singing karaoke, without the encouragement of alcohol, that have no  business singing in public. I know, I'm one of those people. Nobody wants to hear that. I could paint a picture and you probably couldn't tell what it is supposed to be and I don't think I could convince you otherwise. I wonder though if a well known art critic said, it is a masterpiece, how many would then agree. Then with that agreement wouldn't I then be convinced myself ? Maybe that is the secret. Maybe you just have to believe. Problem is, I have doubts. I have doubts about the judgement of the critics but yet I seek their approval. That is a bit of a quandary. There are those that say you just have to be willing to make yourself completely vulnerable. That is what it feels like to me. I suppose I would rather have doubts as opposed to certainty. I will remain that way until I convince myself otherwise. They say you are your own biggest critic and I would agree with that. Maybe those that don'r are the ones receiving the accolades. Could be you just have to let others decide and believe that !  

Pledges and Prayers

The headlines in the sporting world concerns the racist remarks of one guy named Sterling. He is the principal owner of the Clippers. A recording was released to the television program TMZ of his despicable ranting. Now, I do not condone anything that this man said. It is obvious that he is a bigot. He deserves whatever backlash results from this. There is talk of throwing him out of the league and stripping him of his franchise. Be that as it may. All that being said I am left wondering about one thing however, this bigot is being justly ostracized by society while at the same time there is this rapper that stomps on the American flag while rapping about how America stinks. Yet, I do not hear many words of protest about that. Why is one mans " freedom of speech " completely wrong and inappropriate, and anothers', equally inappropriate and offensive, considered music ? I do not understand that. Where is the support for America ? We would all agree that racist, hate filled remarks are intolerable, how is what that rapper does any different than what this guy Sterling did ? I in no way shape or form support Sterling in what he says. The question is though, is it protected under freedom of speech ? It was said in a private conversation, after all. The rapper is performing his " art " publicly. 

Public prayer is under attack, the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance is under attack, even mentioning God can get one in trouble these days by " offending " others. Now this dirt-bag Sterling says something privately, that gets leaked to the public, and there is a giant uproar of indignation ! I wish the people in our country would show the same concern about Prayer and Pledges. It is just my opinion but I do not find either of them offensive. Look, I'm just saying you can't have it both ways. The freedom to speak our minds is our God given right and protected by the Constitution of the United States of America. Why is it offensive for some of us to speak our prayers and pledges but " art " for a rapper to trample upon our flag ? Is the rappers freedom of speech greater than mine ? The bottom line is this, what Sterling said and apparently believes is just wrong, period. He does have the right to say it however. Why will we as a nation deny him his team, his livelihood and publicly ostracize him while supporting this rapper ? And not just that rapper that is only one example. There are many more examples on this two faced political correctness nonsense. 

It is unfortunate that this man Sterling should effect so many lives with his bigotry and hatred. The players, the fans and all others involved will suffer because of him. Personally I would not attend any of his games and support that team in any way whatsoever. It is obvious to me the only morals this man has is to money. I could think of many other ways I would like to deal with this guy but the best avenue would be financially. The satisfaction would not be as great or as immediate but it is what we can do. Look, I'm just saying.

The voice of the author

My grandson Mark had started a blog of his own some time back. He only did one posting. Yesterday I questioned him about that. He told me that he disliked typing and that it took too long. He also said he didn't feel like he could get the proper emotion into his writings. As he said, what can you do, use an exclamation point ? I understood what he meant and had to agree, somewhat. I did tell him by continued reading , with practice, the emotions of the characters can come through. His response was, yes, but the spoken word is much better. You can't argue that point.
I remember getting a tape recorder. It was a small reel to reel one and I thought it was amazing. You could speak into the built in microphone and instantly play back whatever it was you said. I thought it strange that my voice didn't sound anything like what came out of that speaker. Something had changed. I remember thinking it must be that tape, that not all of my voice stuck to it. I soon found out it was that way with everyone's voice. Singing only made it worse. Well, at least in my case it did anyway.
That was probably fifty years ago or more. Now we don't use tape, we use a digital format. I can't explain how it works but it has the same problem. Even with all this advancement in recording technology my voice still doesn't sound right.
I was thinking about that when Mark mentioned doing a podcast. I'll be honest here and say I don't like the way my voice sounds when recorded. I wish it sounded more like James Earl Jones or someone like that. Now it sounds more like Tiny Tim ! I wonder how others here it ? Judging by my sister and others it must not be very good, I have seen their reactions. Although most have been kind or polite enough to not say much, I can see it.
I do wonder if you are recorded using professional equipment, by a professional, if it would make a difference. Or is it, ( gasp ) that is what I really sound like to others. I am often accused of having an accent but I know that isn't true. I have heard people with an accent and I'm not one of them. It could be that the recording of my voice is similar to that phenomena. People are hearing something that is just not there.
I am considering doing this podcast thing with Mark. Soccer season will end soon and free up some of his time. I do want to keep him engaged in writing or at least authoring some works. Everything is being recorded and in most cases accompanied by video. I wonder if in the future children will read books at all. And if they do, will they experience the excitement that we did ? I remember reading Treasure Island and I could see the pirates and almost feel the sea. Books came alive for me and I am sure they do for many others. Now we can just listen and watch. Doesn't exercise the imagination as much, in my opinion.
I know they have a computer program that will type for you. You just speak the words and viola it types. I haven't seen one of these in actual use and am curious how well they work. That could be a good thing. Maybe I'll look into that for Mark. You have to stay up with the times you know. Of course if he doesn't have issues with the sound of his recorded voice, the point is mute. The whole recorded voice thing is my problem. When I write something you read it. What voice do you hear ? If I recorded it and you listened would the story change ? 

Crossing a line ?

Like quite a number of us I spend a good deal of time on social media, that is to say, Facebook. I enjoy the postings ( most of the time ) and the sharing of photographs and the like. It can be informative, fact checking is required however, and in some cases it is even, well, a social experience. My circle of  " friends " is not very large, comparatively speaking. Even in the real world I do not have a large circle of what I would consider friends and/or acquaintances. Perhaps that is the result of growing up in a small town or perhaps it is just a portion of my personality. Maybe it is a combination of both. Whatever the case may be, it is what I am comfortable with.
I feel like I "know" the majority of those that are on my timeline, or page , or whatever it is called. Some I have known for years and others are fairly new. I am somewhat familiar with their online personalities. I do think we all have an online personalty and the one we have in the flesh. They may, or may not be different. And that brings me to a question. I read a posting that was directed at no one in particular. At least it mentioned no one in particular, but reading it I wondered if it could have been directed at me ? My immediate thought following that was, why would I think that ? Everything on Facebook isn't about me. That is  ridiculous and a bit self centered. Still, as the day wore on the question nagged at me.Did that post bother me because there is truth in it as far as it concerns me ? Apparently it has touched a nerve of some kind.
At the very least it has led to some introspection. Now I'm thinking that was the purpose of the post in the first place.
I often post a quote or saying of some kind that I find inspirational or relevant. They are not directed at any one person. I wonder if others have had this same experience. I will say this will affect my postings, at least in the immediate future, until I forget about it. In the meantime, I will question my motives for writing and saying the things that I do. I think it is a very difficult task to objectively examine yourself and come to a conclusion that is unbiased. Just what is the persona I am portraying online ? I think the real question should be, is my online persona an accurate reflection of who I really am ?
I will say I think my answers are more thought out online and less reactive. That may be the result of having to type my responses in, if my first thoughts were somehow kinetically transported to the keyboard the results would be much different. Some would say it is hypocritical to say anything other than your first thoughts, but I believe a considered opinion to be more favorable. The problem however, can become, when considered opinions are read as self righteousness, or being smug.
I think that post has accomplished it's purpose. It has raised awareness in me. I should be careful how I state my opinions. I need to be less defensive. I thank the person that posted that particular observation. I hope some of my postings have the same effect. We all need reminders . The real struggle for most of us I think is not knowing what is right, but in doing what is right. I'm certainly no different than anyone else in that regard. Finding the line between self confidence and self righteousness is difficult. The first step is knowing that there is a line.

A lack of manners

I have expressed my opinion on the use of what I consider inappropriate language in general society. Yesterday someone shared a post showing some signs outside a veterinary clinic. The intent of the signs was to draw attention to the need to spay and neuter your pets. Whereas I agree with the message, I took exception with the wording. It is my belief that these attempts at humor on a public platform, are inappropriate, display a lack of discretion and a measure of disrespect to society in general. Certainly they could be considered humorous, if you enjoy " blue " humor but there is a time and place for that. To me it shows something of the character of the proprietor and I would not give him/her my business. I am not saying I don't enjoy a little of this humor myself, but like the language, there is a time and place for that.
I have noticed the increased display of this type of material. I see it on bumper stickers, tee shirts, billboards and signs of all kinds. I hear those that defend it, saying it is a form of free speech. I hear others defend it, saying it is funny and draws attention to their cause. Some say it is wrong, but it is alright if it draws attention to a good deed. Still others just think I'm an old guy that isn't cool. Whatever, I do feel the need to stand against this tide.
I see this and cannot help but think what it is saying about society in general. I hear much talk of respect these days, but fail to understand how that could be considered respectful. A lack of discretion and good common sense is what I see. I believe in the " polite company " rule. Do not use language or gestures that may be offensive to others until it is established that that is acceptable to them. To do otherwise is impolite. In other words, a little consideration please.
I am not advocating the restriction of free speech. I am not saying these people should not be allowed to put whatever they want on their signs. What I am saying is, I believe it is a reflection upon our society and not a very good one. If we wish to make progress we can not digress in our moral values. And this, I would say, falls into that category. I do think it is a moral choice. Do we really want to express ourselves as a bunch of street thugs ? Our choice of words does project an image of who we are. Using words or phrases simply for their shock value doesn't show me much. Anyone can string a bunch of four letter words together or make innuendo about private things, but that doesn't say much for their character. Quite the opposite I would say.
To those that say, well you can't change it so you have to live with it I would say this. I would not take any action to inhibit your freedom of expression, but I will work to change attitudes. If we remain silent we allow it to propagate. Is that not tacit approval ? Even though I may face ridicule I will speak against this and that is my exercise of free speech. I offer no judgement on those that choose to express themselves in this manner other than to say I really believe it shows a lack of manners. 

Do it

Despite all my writings and preponderance of lofty issues and ideals, I am not as " well read " as some may think. It is certainly flattering that some should think so. Most of what I write about are my own thoughts and observances. Or, at least I believe them to be so. I do wonder how much is my own and how much is repetition. I have never knowingly plagiarized a single sentence. I do think about that when I am writing. I have said it before and will repeat this, it is my thought that there is little that hasn't been said before by someone. I may change the wording " paraphrase " but the thought remains unchanged. As I said, I am not that " well read. " I confess to holding nothing more than a high school diploma. I have not earned, nor been given one honorably, any advanced degrees. In fact, the only thing advancing is my years.
I will also admit to questioning the value of such advanced degrees. In other than a specific area, I don't see the need. Mathematics and sciences certainly require formal training. Teachers and doctors. I can not speak to other more generalized degrees. I can say I have known many with degrees that I felt where a little lacking, if you know what I mean ?
I have found that some of my thoughts that I believed original were not. I do know you must be receptive to the idea of learning or your results will be lacking. The acquisition of knowledge can be achieved by anyone but the application of that knowledge requires a certain skill set. Much the same way anyone can buy a set of carpenters tools, but the building of the house is a different thing altogether.
I do question why some that hold a degree believe they now know all the answers. A wise old farmer once told me, " the more you know, the less you think you know" and I have found those words to be true. Certainly one should take a measure of pride in accomplishing that goal, but shouldn't that also lead to further understanding ? I do wonder if that stems from some jealousy on my part. Am I envious of that ? I think on some level I probably am. It would be nice to have that card to play sometimes. I could choose to pursue that goal, but to what end ? At this stage in life it would only be for for my own self satisfaction. The reality is I don't want it that much. It is just a nice thought. The thought is not enough to provide the motivation.
I think above all else what is required is belief in yourself. Education and advanced degrees are beneficial there is no denying that. They can open doors for you and give you a sense of acceptance, a sense of proof. I can show you my degrees and prove that I am smart. What can not be taught is self confidence. That belief in your own abilities and skills. The willingness to just put it out there despite rejection or indifference from others. You must be willing to endure dismissal of your efforts. And you must be willing to do that repeatedly.
It is a bit of a paradox. On the one hand you should be confident in your abilities while on the other you should have humility. A difficult act to balance I think. It is an act made easier by acceptance. But then again acceptance can lead to arrogance. Rejection can lead to not believing in yourself. In the end I think whoever wrote the advertisement for Nike got it right, Just Do It ! Good advice and like most good advice, hard to follow.

An opinion on love

A friend of mine recently asked an interesting question. She was contemplating whether love had to be sacrificial to be true love. Is sacrifice a requirement of love ? Or more properly is sacrifice a component of love ? My initial response and reaction is yes. I would say it must be so. Perhaps the most famous description of love can be found in the Bible. First Corinthians Chapter 13. In the King James Version the word, charity, is used instead of the word love. The words are interchangeable in this instance.
In thinking about that I find using the word Charity very telling. In today's world we think of charity as the act of giving. Furthermore it indicates to give without expectation of return. But does that constitute a sacrifice ? Not necessarily, I can give to a charity without injury to myself or causing myself discomfort of any kind. A sacrifice means to give something up, of significant value, to benefit another or yourself. One also thinks as a sacrifice as a means to gain favor, as a sacrifice to a deity. When thought of in that way a sacrifice would not necessarily include any component of love, but rather be a selfish act.
Is not unrequited love, love nonetheless ? I may make a tremendous sacrifice for another but if they do not recognize it as such, does that diminish the purity of that love ? I think not. I do believe that love makes sacrifices. The question is, does all love require sacrifice ? I would have to say that love does not require sacrifice to be love, but sacrifice is required to maintain that love. Sacrifice can not create love. But when we are no longer willing to sacrifice for that love, it does die.
The last verse in the Bible passage says this, " and now abideth faith,hope,charity these three, but the greatest of these is charity. " And so to me Charity is the act of giving without expectation of a return, unlike a sacrifice which does. Then the question is changed somewhat, can you love without sacrifice ? If you are a Christian you believe that God sacrificed his own son for our sins, the ultimate display of love. But the son died and rose again as testament to that love. A gift, a charitable act ? There is no expectation of return, only hope. For does not God hope we will obey his commands and join him in heaven ? He still loves us if we do not, proof that charity is stronger than hope. Faith is the act of believing, not hoping.
So, having given this question some thought and contemplation I now must change my answer. I must say, no, love does not have to be sacrificial.

Traditions

In yesterdays blog I touched upon the topic of traditions or at least what is considered traditional. Traditions are different for each of us. The refinement of a tradition occurs over generations. Sometimes those traditions disappear altogether. I think it all depends upon each of us and our personal choices. There are some that hold to strict tradition and others that will modify that tradition in a moment. I would say I personally fall somewhere in between the two extremes. Traditions are somewhat like fashion in that that go in and out of favor. They are also like fashion in that not everyone will embrace the new.
There are many things that we do that we do not necessarily think of as a tradition. Take going to church and the style of worship that is practiced there. I would say a Roman Catholic Church is very heavily steeped in tradition. Each succeeding generation practicing their faith in much the same way. There are those that feel worshiping in any other fashion would not be acceptable, that is their tradition. Traditional worship services have changed over the years, even for the most traditional. The behaviors that are accepted now would have been met with shock fifty years ago. I attended an Episcopal church growing up. Head coverings were required, by tradition, for all ladies. That is not the case today. I recall a time when guitar playing and singing a non traditional hymn in the church was, well, cutting edge. Some of the older members felt that is was a sacrilege.
As for me I enjoy my traditions. Traditions are a form of nostalgia, I think. They are the familiar and offer comfort. I do think we modify those portions of a tradition that we find inconvenient or uncomfortable. That is why they change with generations. Tradition is in the details. Things like when does the Christmas tree go up or down. Do you stuff stockings and do they have to be inspected first ? Dying eggs for Easter ? A traditional activity, even after the kids are not home anymore. I do not insist upon a tradition, but will practice it given the chance. I am aware of traditions and do feel sad when they change or disappear.
Yesterday I touched upon tradition. It was not these forms of tradition that were brought to mind however. I think what was raised was what is " traditional " in the sense of society accepting a behavior. What is considered, normal ? Traditions are normal and accepted activities by a society. Even when not everyone in that society practices that tradition. When we think of , say, a same sex marriage, we call that non-traditional. The implication being, it is different from our accepted traditions. It is unexpected. It is not necessarily judgmental in a negative way but rather a description. It is said to add clarity. It is true that the changing of a tradition may be met with prejudice and anger, there is no denying that. Inter racial dating and marriage faced the same thing and still does to a limited degree. That tradition is changing, not being met with such surprise as once it was.
The dictionary says a tradition is a belief or a behavior practiced by a society. I would add that is considered " normal " behavior. Those behaviors have certainly changed over the years. What are acceptable behaviors today would not have been tolerated not too many years ago. They would have been met either with violent protest or backyard gossip. The severity of the " infraction in tradition " determining that reaction. Yes, there are many traditions that we follow every day. We may or may not be aware of them. Should we cling to our traditions ? Ah, that is where the rub comes in. If it worked for our parents and their parents shouldn't it work for us as well ? Are all traditions good things ? The changing or complete abandonment of a tradition can be unsettling to say the least. It has always been so to go against convention. A tradition that seems innocuous to you may not be so to another. Whenever those type traditions, the seemingly innocuous ones, are challenged the society revolts. We see this happening right now in America. The issue is the retaining of tradition. Just what is the American tradition ?  The founding fathers attempted to write that down with our Constitution and later in the bill of rights. We have been interpreting that tradition ever since. It's kinda a tradition in America. 

Keeping house

The television was on, as it often is, more as a noise in the background than anyone actually watching. I was sitting at my computer, in the corner of the room, as usual. Out of the drone of that noise I hear, she was a stay at home mother. That phrase just jumped out at me, a stay at home Mom. I thought, wouldn't it be great if all Moms were stay at home Moms. I do remember when that was the normal thing. It is definitely not a normal thing today, it is exceptional. That is to say, the exception rather than the rule. We all know the reasons for that, economic necessity being the foremost cause.

My Mom was a stay at home Mom. Well, for a while she was anyway. At some point, I really don't remember when, she got a job outside the home. I can not remember ever getting off the school bus and her not being home. She may have been working during the day, I can't say for sure, but she was there when I got home. I know she did laundry for others, it was a carry over from Grandma who did that her whole life. Now Grandma was a real deal stay at home Mom, one with ten children.

When the ladies first began working outside of the home it was a bit controversial. It was a departure from the traditional family. Today it is the normal thing. That is why we even have a name for those that stay at home to raise children. Back in the day we called it keeping house. The Moms' job was to keep the house. The mans' role was to pay for it. They would call Dad the provider. I think that image is like an old photograph, black and white, but now we are in color. 

I would say it has changed society a great deal. Roles are less defined. We can no longer make certain assumptions. Not that it is ever a good idea to assume anything but certain things were normal and expected. What is normal and expected today is changing. My Grandchildrens' children will probably not assume a married couple are different genders. We assume that today, for the most part I think. Should a same sex couple have children what would you call the one staying at home ? A stay at home parent ? Seems like a reasonable thing. In that case would there even be a Mom and Dad ? Today we call that a non-traditional family. One day it will be commonplace.

Most of us will see six or seven generations. I am currently watching the sixth. A generation is normally considered to be twenty years. I am counting seeing my great grandparents up till my own grandchildren. I, of course, did not know my great grandparents when they were young, but did hear their stories of it. I have listened to each generation since. Now I am the grandparent telling grandchildren about how life was in the 1960's. Things were different then. There are a number of things that were normal and expected when I was a ten year old that would be considered out of the ordinary today. I'm sure there are a number of them you could think of as well. 

Consider this question. What Moms stay at home and raise their children today ? I think the answer would have to be, either the wealthy or the poor. How many children are being raised by a stay at home Moms without a provider, a Dad ? And what is societies general impression of that situation ? It is not unexpected or out of the ordinary. Did it exist a generation ago ? Did it exist several generations ago ? Certainly it did. I hope it never becomes traditional however.

The whole thing is a very complicated issue. Should Moms be compelled to stay at home and raise children ? That is an archaic idea now isn't it ? That doesn't seem right. So does that mean being a part time Mom is the right thing ? Or can you be both ? The traditional roles have changed. I would say in the old tradition Mom stayed home and kept the house. Dad went out of the house and earned the money. The family worked together toward a common goal. Today Mom and Dad go out of the house to earn the money. Who is keeping house ? What is keeping house ? That is the real question, I think.

Told you so.

Each of us have our own little vices and guilty pleasures. For me, one of them is saying," I told you so " Today is an I told You So day. Jesus said, those who believe in me shall not die but have everlasting life. He had many followers and of course his disciples. Mary Magdalene went to the tomb on Easter morning only to find it empty. Had it been my tomb there would have been a note saying, " I told You So. " But Jesus left no such note. Mary ran to find Simon Peter and others to tell them of the empty tomb. She, at first, thought someone had taken the body. That is a human response and one that makes perfect sense. Later Angels came to Mary and helped her understand the significance of this event. Mary came to not only believe, but to know. The truth is, Jesus is Risen ! And that is what Easter is to me, the affirmation of belief, Now I know ! The words and teaching of Jesus are the truth, just as he said.
As Christians we often speak of belief and believing. As human beings we want to know. We often require more than our belief can provide. That is a human fault but a fault given us by our God. We can choose to believe or not. Our God has also provided the proof of his existence. Our God has provided a way for us to know. Easter, with the resurrection of his son, is one example of his power. It is an " I told you so " moment. Many people saw Jesus after that day. Thomas, who still doubted, received his proof as well. When Jesus stood before him Thomas called him my Lord. Thomas did not touch the wounds as he said would be necessary to believe, but rather the sight of Jesus standing there was enough. He came to know.
This is the lesson of Easter. Knowledge stems from belief. First I must believe in the resurrection , then I can know. Mary Magdalene had doubts at first, believing someone had stolen the body. Later she came to know the truth. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the light. No man cometh before the Father but through me. And does not that path include the empty tomb ? I would say absolutely. There are times when our hearts are empty, just as the tomb was. Do not be fooled into thinking that Jesus is not there. You must know that he is still within your heart. When the tomb, or your heart looks empty, go and search for your lord, he is risen. Be secure in that knowledge. After all, HE told you so.

Bored ?

I am fortunate to have grand children that live close by. They have been coming to Grandpas house since they were born. It truly is a blessing, albeit sometimes disguised, to have watched them grow and learn. I dare say Grandma and Grandpa can take some credit for their upbringing. They are both honor students and involved in community activities and their church. I'd say as Grandparents you couldn't ask for more.
Like all children however, and some adults, I often hear from them, I'm bored ! There is nothing to do. I remember saying those exact words when I was their age. I admit I still say that every once in a while, only difference is, now I think taking a nap is doing something. What I think they really mean is, nothing interests me at this time. I think that because that is how I feel sometimes as well. I have tons of things I should be doing, and lots of ideas for things I want to do, but nothing that interests me at the moment. I suppose what it comes down to is, motivation.
I do think that whether it is children or adults  an understanding of our motivations is necessary. What is it we are in pursuit of ? To motivate is to move, is it not ? To inspire an action. The question is then, are we doing this for ourselves or for someone else ? Is all motivation a selfish thing ? In other words, do we do things when there is nothing in it for ourselves ? Even if the only thing you do receive is a thank you or some form of acknowledgement, is that not for you ? In that line of thought my motivation would have to come from that expectation. Is it when I feel there may be no acknowledgement that I lack motivation ? That is in contradiction to what we are taught.
Perhaps too, motivation is lacking when one becomes impatient. Immediate satisfaction/gratification  is sometimes what we seek. When we can not find something to do to satisfy that need, we become bored. That is followed by, lethargy. We will all experience these feelings.What defines us is the way we find our way back. What do you turn to ? Grandma always said, " idle hands do the devils work. " There is wisdom is that old adage. It is true, but it is also true one must be careful what one chooses to keep your hands busy with ! Perhaps that is where the patience comes into the equation. Doing something constructive or productive without benefit of immediate satisfaction.
I do think boredom can result from an active mind. Perhaps that is a way for the mind to get a rest. A mind in constant use surely must become tired. So maybe being bored is a good thing. Maybe taking those naps is what is required. I think I'll go with that. I don't want to take those naps, but I am required to. Hmm, seems logical for a man of sixty but it doesn't explain why a child would feel that way. Could be it is just the opposite for them. Boredom for them results from a lack of use of the mind. That must be why Mom always said " if you're bored, read a book. " Sometimes I did get a choice, I could do some chore that needed doing , or read a book. I almost always chose the book. And when I think about that, when Mom asked if I was bored I always said, no. My hands where no longer idle, they were turning the pages. Problem solved.

Good Friday

This being Good Friday I will not eat red meat. Although I do not follow the Catholic faith I feel like it is the least I can do. The giving up of red meat is a show of penance. At least that is what good Catholics are taught.
When I was in grade school, Catholics didn't eat meat on any Friday. I remember the school having fish sandwiches as a choice on that day. I vaguely recall when the Pope ruled that they no longer had to abstain As I said I am not Catholic and so it didn't directly effect me, but I remember hearing about it. I did marvel at the fact that the Pope could just change the rule. I know a lot of the older folks didn't take kindly to that ruling. It did create a bit of a buzz. Some said it spelled the end of the faith !
On Good Friday the church bells would ring at 3pm. I was told that was the time Jesus died. If we were within earshot, or someone reminded us, everyone would stop for a moment of silence. These are the only traditions I recall about Good Friday. Good Friday is a solemn occasion. In my opinion it certainly should be.

Empathy

I have a friend that has suffered a loss. She has lost a near and dear friend. I can read the sadness in her heart. This is a time when there are no words to say. To offer any words at all would seem condescending. All words are hollow when your heart hurts in this way. I can not presume to understand her feelings only relate them to my own. It is this time that the word empathy was meant for. Not to be confused with sympathy. I can empathize and empathy is silent.
I was told that as long as you remember someone and speak their name out load, they are never really gone. I believe that to be so. It does offer some measure of comfort to me. I still miss those that I loved. I still feel the sadness and the loss. I speak to them (silently ) and they answer. I knew them so well I know what the answer will be. If I listen close enough, I can hear the sound of their voice.
I know all the stock replies, quotes and comments. Each of them are given in the hope of offering solace. Rarely do they do so. That solace can only be found in your own heart and the search can be painful. So many chances missed to tell that person your feelings. So many times you did share your feelings. And now those times feel as though they are gone forever. There are no words to say.
I wish my friend finds a place of peace in all of this. I am confident that she will. It is a difficult thing to accomplish. There is a time to resign. That time can only be decided by one. There are no words that can convince or influence that decision. That decision comes from the heart and from the love that one has felt. Resignation is very difficult for most of us, as well it should be. But acceptance follows resignation. And with acceptance some measure of peace.

Another Day

Monday was grandparents day at Greensboro Elementary. My wife and I attended ,as we have every year. This was our last year as Morgan will be moving on up to middle school. It is the end of an era. The significance of the day was not lost on us or Morgan. Ever since pre-k Grandpa has shown up and started singing the Barney song at some point. Over the years it became a sort of tradition,an inside joke. Morgan looked at me and said, go ahead and sing the Barney song, I know you will. And so I did. Softly, but loud enough for her classmates closet to her to hear, I began. I love you, you love me, and she began to blush. I could see that she was enjoying it and it is a memory I will save. That look in her eyes, a twinkle.
There are milestones and this is one of them. No longer will Morgan come to Grandmas house in the mornings for breakfast. No more will Grandma walk to the bus stop with her. After this school year is over, all that ends. Morgan will then join her brother Mark in the morning routine. Once again they will catch the bus together but without grandparents in attendance. Big brother will be watching over her.
There are only a few more occasions to make the cupcakes and cookies that she has always taken to school. That became somewhat of a tradition too. What would grandma make ? Cupcakes in all styles became a staple. Melted snowman cookies, and a whole range of other treats. A few may make it to middle school, but maybe only once or twice. All those things of elementary school being outgrown.
They do have a grandparents day in middle school. It is not the same. The kids want you there but they don't. You know what I mean. It's cool as long as you behave yourself ! And don't say too much. I understand that.
Morgan was teasing me about it being my last grandparents day. I told her I could still go next year, just that she wouldn't be there. I told her I could go to the kindergarten class and some little girl there would hold my hand. She looked at me and said, yes, and then started singing " it's stranger danger " and I couldn't help but laugh. You hate to see them grow up but are proud when they do. She is going to do just fine in middle school it is grandpa and grandma that will have issues, I think. Gonna be long days until they get off the bus. And even then we hope they will come over but they are involved in a lot of activities, so. Well, I'm not going to think about that right now. Like Scarlet O'hara in Gone with the Wind, tomorrow, is another day.

Put your pants on

I often find myself wondering about the state of the country. We are in a big mess here. I think I may have found one of the reasons. Men in short pants ! That's right, seems like once we men ( myself not included ) started wearing short pants things have been declining. Think about it. Just how manly is it to see a forty something guy wearing short pants in the middle of winter and he is a plumber ! Doesn't show me a whole lot, I'll tell you that. Then I look at their feet and they have insulted work boots laced all the way up with wool socks sticking out. What's next, lederhosen ? Well lederhosen is workwear for German nationals so I guess it isn't out of the question. Lederhosen literally means leather breeches. We fought the Germans twice, and beat them twice, so that should tell you something. And I'm of German descent so I can go there. The men in short pants lost. Didn't see John Wayne in shorts now did you ?
I think they may call them cargo shorts or some such thing. There was a time when a man wore a sheath knife on his belt now they wear clips for their smart phones. If a dispute breaks out it is texting at forty paces. I can only guess what other " cargo " they may be carrying in those pockets on the side. Looks like you should be on safari to me. I guess I am just old school, when I get up to go to work, I put my pants on. Short pants are alright on the beach or golf course but I can't think of many other places a man should be wearing them. Oh I guess if you are eighty, live in Florida, wear white knee high socks and your waste is under your armpits it may be excusable. I assume by now you know my feelings on this subject. Don't even get me started about wearing a ball cap backwards, or wrap around sun glasses on a rainy day.
There was a time in America when men wore coveralls. They were to protect your clothing. We didn't have a closet full back then. Slowly we went to wearing a " uniform " like at the gas stations. The employer provided them so we didn't care how dirty they got. Those pants though did serve a purpose. They did provide a little measure of protection to your bare skin. More importantly to me though, is that they cover those legs. I mean, who wants to see a mans hairy legs ? Why do you suppose women shave their legs ? Nobody wants to see all that ! We Americans left all that behind in Europe. Want to see hairy legs ? Go there. Seems like the longer we go on the more clothes the guys are taking off. And that doesn't bode well for the future of masculinity ! An alpha male in short pants just looks silly. I find them hard to take seriously. Sure boxing trunks in a ring can intimidate but shorts on a spindly legged guy ? Ain't happening.
Well that is what I think anyhow. I think men should just start putting their pants on in the morning. If we did that maybe things would start to change a little bit. We could regain some of the respect we have lost. Yup and wear our hats properly and tip them to the ladies.
My lord fellas, you look like a bunch of boy scouts ! Well, back in my day, even boy scouts wore long pants. But I think you get the point. We are men, doing manly things, shorts, really ? Life ain't no picnic. And one more little tip, you can't hunt ducks in the Walmart so quit wearing all that camo ! Well, at least I haven't seen cano cargo shorts, yet. No, wait a minute I think I have. ( SIGH ) 

American Dream ( grandmas story )

When my Grandmother was 15 years old she was sent to America to help care for a sick aunt. She left her comfortable home on the 23 August in 1899 and arrived in Ellis Island on the 30th of Aug. She was met there by her Uncle Issac and taken to Champlain ,New York. There she was to help care for her aunt. She told me herself, the only words of English she knew upon arrival where, ice cold milk and donuts. She had learned them from a barker on the steamship. When others, mostly cousins of hers, asked her what she wanted she said she would ask for ice cold milk and donuts. Fortunately her Uncle Issac spoke her native language Swedish. As it turned out that aunt passed away. Grandmother went to a cooking school and became a pastry chef. In a story lost to time she some how wound up working for a wealthy family named Gardiner. This family owned and still does, its' own Island. An ancestor of those that hired my Grandmother was a man named Lion Gardiner. In a strange twist in all of this Lion Gardiner is also my 10th great grandfather ! Funny how family trees can intermingle like that.
It was while working for this Gardjner family that my grandmother met my grandfather Horace. Now Horace, by all accounts, was a bit of a drinker. The story is told that he would be gone days at a time, off on a bender. Grandmother was left caring for the children and making a living as best she could. Grandfather Horace must have showed up often enough however, Grandma had ten children ! My mother was the youngest of those kids and is the only one surviving today. Most of what I know I have been told by her.
For a number of years Grandma worked in the manor house on the Island. She would take her two eldest with her and take a boat across the bay to work each day. Grandma lived down in a place called Northwest right on the harbor. At some point Mr. Tommy, that was the Gardiner that Grandma worked for, asked her to work at his house on Main Street uptown. No longer would she have to take a boat with small children and go to work. It was only a walk of about three miles from Northwest to this house. She accepted the offer. The story is that one time Mr. Tommy saw Grandma walking with her children, in the winter on her way to work. He is said to have asked her where Horace was. Grandma had no choice but to tell him she didn't know, but he was off somewhere drinking. After that Mr. Tommy had an old way station, once used as a layover spot for carriages, moved to a small piece of property less than a mile from his home. He held the mortgage on this house, which he insisted be only in my Grandmothers name. Horace was not to have his name or any rights to it. Mr. Tommy was afraid Horace might sell it. And so it was in that house that Grandma lived. It was added onto over the years by Grandfather Horace. He did have periods of productive endeavors but the demon of liquor stayed with him.
My Grandmother lived in this house and raised ten children there. She tried leaving Grandfather Horace once. She went to her brothers house in Massachusetts. Grandfather followed her there and convinced her to come home. Oh, I hear he was a silver tongued devil that Horace. Grandmas' brother told her he would pay for her passage and the children back to Sweden if that is what she wanted. When she declined her told her to never ask again. Grandmother had sealed her fate.
The rest of Grandmothers family, some still in Sweden and others here in America were quite prosperous people. They owned their own businesses. They certainly weren't wealthy but what you might call well to do. Grandma, with her ten children in an old way station, after leaving the employ of Mr. Tommy ( reason unknown ) took up doing laundry to get by. She did that until the age of 77 or so. Although she never said so I knew she was embarrassed to have any of her family come to visit. My mother told me she and her Mom did go visit an uncle one time when she was a child.
Grandmother fell in that house and broke her hip. She was taken to the hospital and there was an accident there. She was left unattended and fell off a stretcher in the hallway. She sustained a concussion and some brain damage. Following that she only spoke Swedish and her memory was altered. She passed away in a nursing home.
That is the short version of her life. I wonder if she ever wanted to come to America ? I'm certain when she was fifteen the life I just described wasn't in her plans. I always knew Grandma as a happy lady. I never heard her complain about anything. She worked every day morning to night. I now she only came to my house one Christmas and that was an event. Grandma never went anywhere. She had a long life and a tough one. It wasn't what I would call the American Dream. I wonder how she really felt. I do believe her Bible sustained her over the years. There was no back up to her ! She moved forever forward, an inspiration. 

More than a Memory

This being palm Sunday, and I being a Christian, I cannot help but think about Jesus riding into Jerusalem. He mounted that donkey outside the gate of the city and rode in. He knew full well what was going to happen and what was expected of him. He rode in there to save us all and knew he must die to do so. He also knew that he would rise again, that there is life everlasting. He had to suffer and die and did so out of love. Love for you and I, love for mankind. This was to be the final act. For Christians throughout the world Jesus isn't just someone we remember, some story in a book, but a living breathing man, the son of God.
Now we do not know what will happen to us or when. We have a choice to live our lives the way Jesus taught us to live, or go another path. There is no mounting the donkey and a grand procession into the city for us, no adoring throngs await. We will go to our death in the time that has been allotted by God.
We do share a commonality with Jesus however, we can rise again and have that everlasting life. I do believe that is the desire of most of us, to be more than a memory. To be remembered far beyond this generation or the next. But it is more than a memory that we seek, it is a connection. After someone passes we say we should move on, that is true, but that doesn't mean we can not take the one who passed with us. We can maintain that contact. By repeating the words and doing the things that that person taught us, will they not still live ? As an example, I use my own father. He passed in February of 1990, yet I speak with him every day. His presence is with me, he is not forgotten. He is more than a memory to me. When I tell others of him I am sharing him, he lives on. They say as long as a mans name is spoken, he lives. I agree with that. The question then becomes, how will you be spoken of ? That question is answered by the way you live your life. Just as Jesus showed us, the answer is not in death. We must all face death to regain life. That is the message.As to whether we will become a memory, or live on in love, depends on what we do now. When your time comes will you resist or just mount up and ride right on in ?

Burned Out

It is really quite amazing how quickly we become dependent upon technology. I would think it has always been so since the very beginning. This fire is good stuff ! Yes, but this wheel I have here is even better than that, and on it goes. I have seen a lot of technological advances so far. I recall when we got color television ! Now that was a big improvement. I remember using a dial type phone for the first time. Just pick it up, wait for the dial tone and dial your number. It was an amazing thing. The dial tone before that I think was Mrs. McGuire, number please. I do know you still had to ask for the long distance operator if you were calling too far away. You couldn't dial all those numbers, now could you ? I have seen the appearance of Mr. Coffee. That was the first automatic drip coffee maker and everybody has one. They go by many names now but I always call them a Mr. Coffee. That is much the same way my Grandmother called a vacuum cleaner a Hoover. Hoover was the first one of those too. The microwave oven was a marvel. At the time it was thought to replace all conventional ovens. Why it could cook a roast in twenty minutes ! The first one my mother had must have weighed fifty pounds ! Now we mostly reheat things in them.
I am not quite up to speed on all the latest technology. I find a lot of it expensive, like that color television Dad bought. There is some of it I really don't see a need for. I think you could say APPS is technology. I do not have a " smart " phone but compared to the one I had on my kitchen wall not many years past, it is a genius ! My television still has a tube in it and I still call the refrigerator an ice box on occasion. I still wear sneakers. I have exposed rolls of film waiting to be developed in the junk drawer. I'm betting not many people under the age of thirty could say that. Do you still buy tin foil ? Maybe you get that new stuff, aluminum foil. I do, tin foil was before my time, old technology.
Isn't it something how when new technology comes out it is so expensive ? Then, in a few years it becomes affordable to everyone. Over time that technology gets replaced by the new. More time passes and that old technology becomes nostalgic. We start to collect it. Before you know it we are paying the same high price for it that we did the first time we had it ! In some cases even more. So we have to have the new, but in the end embrace the old.
Now we hear a lot about hobbies and crafts. Those are the things people used to do to make a living years ago. We do them for fun now. We can pursue those things thanks to technology. All the advances that have been made to ease our burdens. Yes it is technology that allows us to do the things that we used to do because we had to do it, but now we do it just for fun. I guess it wasn't fun when you had to do it and that's why we keep inventing new technology. That sounds right, not many people like doing what they have to do. That is a part of human nature. Let's find an easier way to do this, then we can do it for fun.
Consider this, we will all see the end of the electric light bulb as we now know it. It will soon be a thing of the past. Our children may one day show one to their grandchildren as a curiosity. And they will say, how did this thing work and why did it burn out ? I'm betting that right now someone,somewhere is starting a collection of incandescent lamps. The only question is, will he or she light them up and risk burning them out ? Now that is a dilemma. Just when will the last light bulb burn out ? Will that be a footnote in history ?

Held to account

There was a news story about a girl selling marijuana laced brownies at a school fundraiser. One young lady had to go to the hospital as a result of ingesting these brownies. I don't have all the details but apparently she had a bad reaction. Anyway, that is what led to the arrest of this person. Now this young person also happened to be a Mexican national . She was in this country legally, on a student visa or whatever. As part of her punishment she is being deported. Naturally there are some that are objecting to this. The arguments being she was an excellent student, had no prior arrests, and was generally a good kid. The argument that got my attention was, she made a mistake.
Now I am not for imposing the maximum sentence on anyone for their first infraction. I do think saying, she made a mistake, is stretching it a bit. She made the brownies,brought them to the fundraiser and sold them, all by mistake ? I'm not buying that, even after eating the brownie ! It is not the punishment in this case that bothers me, it is this attitude. I believe you need to hold people accountable for their actions each and every time. By allowing exceptions and excuses you weaken the law and remove fear of prosecution. In other words, if you let them get away with it once, they will try it again. I believe it is that way with children. I was told the rules and any infraction of those rules was met with immediate consequences. Oh, with that first offense I may have just been reminded, rather sternly, what was expected of me. A second offense met with consequences. There was no excuses. A second chance meant you got punished, just not as bad as it could be ! The threat of what would happen should a third offense take place were severe indeed. I, along with my siblings, had enough sense to not want to find out if what was said was true. It wasn't worth thee risk !
What I am saying here is that people must be held to account. Each and every time, they must be held accountable. If we start allowing infractions because he is a good kid or because she is popular, how can we expect discipline. And isn't that what we are trying to teach here, self discipline and respect. Respect for the rules and respect for ourselves and each other. Years back you would hear about, " tough love " but that has fallen from favor. Now it seems it is all about understanding and forgiveness. Well, you need both. I thought Dad was tough on me sometimes, sometimes I mumbled about his judgement. I dare say there were times when I was less than fond of him and Mom but I respected that authority.
What message are we sending if we allow someone to sell an illegal product that puts someone else in the hospital and then dismiss that as a " mistake ? " That is a little more than a mistake, don't you think ? Putting baking powder instead of baking soda in the brownies is a mistake. Lacing them with marijuana is illegal and no mistake. It was a deliberate act and has consequences.

Contemplating

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to the wind. Or more correctly, writing. I do get a few comments every now and again and I appreciate them. For the most part I am left wondering. I wonder who is reading and if they are getting the message. Now, the message I try to convey is my message only. My thoughts and opinions. They are my truths, not necessarily yours. I think even the great thinkers in the world have sought affirmation. I do not profess to be a great thinker, but I certainly seek that affirmation. The time and energy expended to compose these little blog posts should not be lost. I say to myself the reason I write them is for future generations to know me. That is a part of it. I do believe we should leave a record, something for those left behind. I have put it this way in the past, I want to leave my story in my own words. When other tell the story it may not be what I want !
I have days when I question the validity of that statement. Am I writing for the future, or am I writing for now ? Writing for me. Is it wrong to want that affirmation ? There is a lesson there somewhere that says it is. It is a feeling of contradiction to openly say, I want people to listen to me. It also feels wrong to say, I want you to agree with me. The truth is both statements are true.
Is it in this contradiction that people " find "themselves ? We have all heard that expression. Is that what it means ? When we " find " ourselves we openly admit to the things we want. Do you get that belief in yourself to go forward, to chase the dream ? I think the perception we have of ourselves is the driving factor. What do you see yourself as ? Are you defined by your occupation ? The struggle for identity may be at the root of this " finding " yourself.
Why do we feel this need to define ourselves to others ? Is it because what other people see does not reflect what we think they should be seeing ? Are we really what others perceive us to be ? I think the answer to that is no. We are only what we choose to share. The image we project may or may not be what we really are. I wonder if you " find " yourself does that mean you then place your needs above all others ? That is not to say you treat others badly, but that your personal pursuit of happiness now takes precedence. Seems like a selfish act. Unless of course that happiness comes from making others happy. I would have to say it depends on what you " find " when you " find " yourself. It can be a little scary.
I think you could say this is also the basis of faith. If you believe this is all there is, then it would only be logical to , go for it. Make yourself happy, do your own thing, whatever floats your boat. But, if you believe there is something more you must prepare for that. Then leaving something of lasting value is of paramount importance. Something that makes others remember. Is that the biggest fear, that I will be forgotten ? Maybe that is the real reason for all this writing. 

PC Prayer

I just heard on the news that Carroll County Maryland is under a court order. It seems prayers were being said before the commissioners meeting. In these prayers the name Jesus was being used. A law suit has been filed and a federal judge has ordered that it stop ! Prayer can be said, but no mention of Jesus or any other specific deity allowed. In effect the government is now telling us how to pray ! At least how we can pray in public on public property. My first reaction was, that's outrageous. Now I'm thinking about that.
I'm thinking I can see that. Although I do believe this country was built on Christian values and ideals. I wonder how I would feel if there were prayers mentioning Mohammed or Buddha. Or what about some mention of Satan ? I'm thinking I wouldn't like it much. Maybe an appeal to a non specific deity is in order for those situations. The times they are a'changin'.
The supreme court has heard arguments in the Hobby Lobby, and others, case on religious freedom as it relates to the affordable care act. We are waiting for their opinion. There are others waiting to be heard about public prayer as it relates to public meetings. I am concerned for that opinion as well. All this litigation concerning religious freedom and belief. It is my opinion that the goal in all of this is to " prove " that our Republic does not have an " official state religion. " I don't think that needs to be proven. That issue has been hashed and rehashed over the last two hundred years. It was made perfectly clear by the founding fathers.
We hear a lot about race baiting these days. It is a means of division. Is this also a means of division ? I would certainly think so. I wonder who or what is behind this attitude ? Are these few people that are behind these suits that offended ? I do not think it bodes well for the country. In a country that prides itself on tolerance why this intolerance ? Is it really a question of Liberty for All ?
There are two things we are told to not talk about, Religion and Politics. We all know the reason for that. There is no right and wrong and few things stir a persons passions more than those two subjects. The thing that occurs to me however is, if you remove any religious belief from government, in a republic the people are the government, would you not then be removing some of the passion. Think of the great patriotic songs and hymns. Think of God Bless America was that not a uniting song ? We are the UNITED states. In these later years we are appearing to be the divided states. I am not proposing a state religion. I think the founders got it right. Let's put it to a vote then. Can we pray at official public functions or not ? Are we one nation under God ? And if we are not, than just what are we ?  One nation under whatever or nothing at all ?
It is just my opinion. I do think the founding fathers felt the majority of the country were Christians. I believe what they were saying is, as a Christian nation we will not persecute or hinder others, that may not be Christian, in the practice of their faith. I don't think they intended that the others could then inhibit the Christians in the practice of theirs. There were indeed men of vision. I don't think they ever thought of this.
Should the government be composing generic prayers for public meetings or functions ? No, I think it is all or nothing. My opinion.

The Fun House

I was involved in a short discussion about " sleepovers. " When you where young where you allowed to go to sleepovers or host them ? I slept over at my best friends house often when I was in high school. We didn't call it a sleepover though, hey we're guys, I was just spending the night. Let's be clear about that. I don't believe he ever spent the night at my place though. There was a reason for that. His house was the fun place, mine not so much. Things were a bit more relaxed at his place. Not only that he had a slot car racing layout in his basement.
I don't remember when the staying over started. When I was twelve I was allowed to pretty much go wherever I wanted as long as I " checked " in. I lived three miles from town. My friend lived in town. I would leave home early in the morning and head uptown. That is where the baseball diamond was and the basketball court. Well, all the good stuff was upstreet. At some point I began calling home and asking to spend the night.
Of course this was happening back in the sixties. Things were a bit different back then. No cell phones for one thing. To check in I had to find a telephone. Usually just went to my friends house and used his. There were times when I'd spring for the call, cost ten cents ! I'd give up a coke for that call, yeah, a coke was ten cents too. It was a small town and everyone knew each other. More importantly most everyone knew who your parents were. Sometimes these other people would " check " in for you. Not a good thing when that happened, they didn't call Mom to say what a good kid you were ! It was a lot safer environment than today.
Activities are far more structured nowadays. There is a lot more for kids to do and places to go. At least were I grew up we were a bit limited as far as facilities went. We had ball fields, tennis courts ( not used by many kids ) and basketball courts. The big thing was we had the ocean and the bay. There was a roller rink but that was a way to go. The movie theater only showed one movie at a time. Sometimes the same movie for two weeks !
I do think sleepovers are a good thing for children. It gives them a sense of independence. It does show them how other people live. There are differences. At my house, Dad was in charge of that television. Even when my friend was there my Dad dictated what was being watched. Only had two channels anyway but that is not the point. Now when I was at his house, his Dad let you pick. That was different, to me. At his house they wore pajamas to bed. I didn't and still don't. In the morning he would go out to the kitchen in his pajamas and I would be dressed. I never left my bedroom without being dressed, unless it was in the middle of the night to sneak to the bathroom. I have seen pictures of when I was real little wearing pajamas but I sure don't remember it.
Sometimes I wish my house could have been the fun house. I admit to not giving it much thought as a kid. You know how you are, just busy and doing your own thing. Looking back the picture is different. How about you ? Was your house the " fun " house ? Did you allow your kids to have sleepovers or go to them ? What about Grandkids ? I have mine stay over often and wouldn't have it any other way. At least Grandpas' is the fun house !

Civil Criminals

I heard on the news that Maryland has decriminalized the possession of a small amount of Marijuana. It is now a civil offense and subject to a fine. Selling Marijuana, any amount, is still a crime however. Buying it , is also a crime. You gotta love the way the lawmakers come up with this stuff. I find myself a criminal, that sells a substance that is illegal and illegally purchase this substance. Then, as long as I don't buy too much it is not a crime but a civil offense. The reason ? It isn't fair to have a criminal record for only committing a little crime ! You know, the same way it wouldn't be fair if you were expelled from school for only cheating a little bit. Now that is rock solid reasoning.
As far as whether marijuana should be legalized, that is another whole discussion. The short answer to that for me is ,no. I'm opposed. I think we have enough issues with intoxicating beverages and various other substances. For me, it is all about the money. Tax and sell without regard for future generations. But that is just my opinion.
Here in Maryland the legislators have decided that 10 grams of marijuana is a civil offense but 11 or more is criminal. Interesting how they choose to measure it in grams. Last I knew America was still using ounces unless it is in the medical field. That is how they measure stuff like drugs. It is true they use it for both legal and illegal drugs though. I guess choosing to measure in grams sounds more clinical or official or something because we are so smart, you know. The drug dealers, they are the criminals that sell this ten grams, measure it that way. That is because most of it is imported and other countries use that pesky metric system. It is imported because it is illegal to grow it here in Maryland.
The other interesting part of the argument used to support the decriminalizing of ten grams or less was race. Yes race. The argument was that more minorities got busted for having illegal drugs than non-minorities. That and that the ones that did, the non-minority, got off easier whereas the minorities were prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Yes, it is just a racist thing to make criminals out of people who commit a crime ! Any fool can see that !
The bottom lines is, you can now commit a crime, without being a criminal as long as you don't do too much at one time. Kinda like being a little bit pregnant. There is no legal avenue to sell or purchase any amount of Marijuana in the state of Maryland. It is still a crime to transport it across the state line. Yet, it is not a crime to have ten grams of it. Just how are you supposed to get it ? Nobody is saying. Just what is the message ? I'm a little confused. Does it make a difference if I  illegally obtain ten grams at a time ? I still get fined for having it. Repeat offenses increases the fine. Is what I am doing a crime ? No, it is a civil offense. Well not if I do it too much, than it is a crime. Some of the same reasoning behind limiting magazine sizes on guns. It isn't as bad shooting people with a small magazine, it is only when you use large magazines that it is criminal. But that is another topic, isn't it ?

PJ'S seriously

Remember when your Mom let you go with someone else ? Like maybe you were going to stay at a friends house or their parents were going to take you somewhere. What did she say ?" Now, be on your best behavior ! " Seems lot a lot of us have forgotten that and sadly too many of us have forgotten to tell or teach our children the same thing. The next thing she would say was, " let me see you. " You may then hear, " you ain't going out of this house looking like that ! Go upstairs and change."  Life may be a cabaret old friends, but we should dress for the occasion.
These are the thoughts that came to mind as I read a recent posting on Facebook. The question was asked, What do you think of people wearing pajamas out of the house ? That is pretty much what I think about that. I remarked in the comment section I think our parents lived life a bit more formally than we do today. Or at least they made more of an effort to show up for it anyway.
I do think it was a bit more than that though. It was a combination of respect for others and respect for yourself. I've touched on this very subject a couple times before. I relate it to the story of Clothes make the man. You go out schlepping around in your pajamas and that is the way you get treated. If you cannot put enough effort into life to even get dressed, why should I take you seriously ?
When I say our parents lived their lives a bit more formally I mean to say, they had more rules. My mother never walked around the house in her nightgown and slippers. On a rare occasion you may see her briefly, but 98% of the time she was dressed for the day and her hair and makeup done. Oh, my Mom was a bit progressive and did take to wearing slacks and jeans ! Those slacks and jeans were always pressed however with sharp creases front and back. Dad left the bedroom fully dressed except for his shoes. They were concerned with their appearance. They were dressed properly for the occasion. Whether it was going to work, the store or out for the evening.
It wasn't just their manner of dress that made this formal living. It was also an attitude. There was a way to conduct yourself when in the public eye and a way to act at home. The two didn't always coincide with one another. When in the general public you were to act " civilized ", as Dad was fond of saying You greeted people you passed on the street and held a door for a lady. Risque jokes or other potentially offensive language or symbols were reserved for those closest to you. Only your immediate friends would see that side of you. There is a time and place for that stuff and it isn't on Main street. Yes there were rules of polite behavior. It was a compliment to be called a Gentleman. The Ladies were expected to behave as such.
It seems like today those behaviors are being looked down upon. I can wear whatever I want, wherever I please and I don't care what you or anyone else thinks ! The key part of that sentence being, " I don't care. " That only leaves one question. If you don't care, should I ? For myself I would say, yes, I do care. But the reason I care is not what you may think. I care because I feel it is just another indicator of a breakdown in society. To me it is a display of apathy. Does not the citizen reflect the society ? You may see the wearing of pajamas outside the home as a fad or fashion statement. I see it as an apathetic behavior. A breaking down of values.
A trivial matter ? In some ways you could easily defend that position. A fad ? Probably, it will pass. But that was said about the tee shirt. When we first started wearing them as regular shirts, with or without advertising. James Dean wore one and the Fonz and what image did they project ? Next thing you knew we had casual Friday. A relaxing of the rules. That is how it happens, a little at a time. I just don't know how you can expect much out of life if you can't even find the interest to get dressed for it.

My basketball memory

There is no escaping this March madness stuff. I am not a big basketball fan. I know very little to nothing about college ball. I hear talk of filling out your brackets. One company or something offered a billion dollar prize to whomever had a perfect bracket. It is my understanding that the brackets were all busted after the first day. I do know that there is a great deal of money associated with all of this. Anyway, hearing about this reminded me of my basketball playing days. I played one season for St. Lukes Episcopal church. I cannot say with certainty but I believe it was the season of '65 -'66. The home court was at the " neighborhood " house. Well the truth is that was the only court we played on. The court belonged to the town.
Back then all the churches in town had a basketball team. I only remember a little of it as I was only involved the one season. Both of my brothers played for the team at one time or another. I just remember having a yellow/gold colored shirt, what we would call a tank top, with a number on it for our uniform. The church provided that and you had to give it back. There were some memorable players and one, Asa Peckham, sticks in my mind. He lived up the road from me a little ways and so I knew him. He was a little older than myself. He wasn't very tall but was fast. He had an aggressive style of play and was a star. I think my older brother played on the team with him. Strange I don't remember how he played. I do remember the first game I played officially. I scored four points. I scored a basket in the first half. In the second half,right at the very beginning I got the ball, dribbling like a wizard I drove to the basket. The opposing players seemed to just melt out of the way.I could hear the yells of, Benny,Benny and was inspired. I executed the perfect layup ! Problem was it wasn't our basket, I forgot we change ends after the half. Two points for the other guys. Well for years I was teased about that and always said the same thing. It was a church league, seemed like the only Christian thing to do.
The home court, the " neighborhood " house is a community center. It was such before anyone had thought to call it a community center. It has been used for many purposes over the years. Kindergarten was taught there, it was the distribution center for welfare recipients when they still handed out boxes of food, and many other functions and events were held there. I am told it is still in use to this day. The basketball court just fit inside the room. On one end was a stage, the basket hung almost directly in the front of that stage, and the other end was a wall with the entrance to the " locker room. " When driving to the basket you had to pull up quick on either end, there was little space. If I recall correctly spectators either watched from the stage or stood along the sidelines. There may have been some folding chairs but that memory is foggy.
It wasn't long after I played for the team that this all cane to an end. I have heard various reasons for the demise of the church league. I really do not know the correct answer. I do know that there was quite a brawl after a particularly heated contest. I was told that that is what spelled the end. Could very well be but expect the true reason are lost to time.
That season was my first and last. I don't think we made it to the final four. Not sure how many teams there where, but probably no more than six. It was a rudimentary organization at best. The church provided us with the shirt to use and refs were just older kids. A far cry from the organized leagues of today. We were just kids playing a game and that was good enough. The venue was the neighborhood house. I don't recall any pictures being taken or fundraising of any kind. Simple times and simple solutions.  

Obligated

The obligations that we have are obligations to ourselves. No one else is obliged to do or give you anything. This concept seems to be lost upon a great deal of people. Our actions and reactions are a result of our own conscience. In reality it can be no other way. Proper behaviors can not be forced. True, you can be made to submit or to comply, but you can not be forced to embrace the action. Outward actions do not necessarily reflect inward feelings. Behavior is only proper if you truly believe it to be so. Reciprocity should not be the motivator for doing what is right, doing right for the sake of your own conscience is the only path to happiness and fulfillment. Doing anything else is self defeating and without purpose. That is why we feel we have been wronged in some fashion. We have, we have failed ourselves. We have failed to meet our own obligations.
It would seem to me that are some that have somehow fooled even themselves into this, you owe me, mindset. The best one should hope for is an equitable exchange. I hope that my fellow man will treat me with fairness. The behaviors,reactions and actions we expect from others are based upon on own standards, not theirs. We have to remember that in every exchange. When they fail to meet our expectations that doesn't mean they should be held to account. You can not hold someones else to your standard. It is their conscience that they must satisfy, not yours. No matter how indignant you may feel, it will not change them.
The way in which we treat each other is dependent upon our conscience. We try to write laws to prevent abuses. I have often said so, and will again, you cannot legislate morality. You may pass legislation that approves of " immoral " behavior however. But that legislation is only valid to those that choose it. That is to say, the law does not exonerate my conscience, If I believe it to be immoral in some fashion, it remains immoral. I also don't feel as though you can pass laws to make your citizens more " moral. " Take the idea that because you are wealthy you should have to give more. Certainly an action a moral person might consider, but should they choose not to, it is their conscience. Just because you are poor doesn't change that. They owe you nothing. The old folks would say, " charity begins at home. " Isn't that what I am also saying ? The obligations we have are obligations to ourselves. A failure on our part ( to meet those obligations ) does not mean that someone else should extend that charity. Perhaps it is that we have forgotten just what charity means. Charity is giving. But it is not just the act of giving away some material thing, it is much greater than that.Charity is also acting within our conscience. To be charitable to others is to accept them, despite whatever faults you may perceive them to have. Charity has been defined as love. Can love be legislated ? I don't think so.
The problem lies in the collective conscience of a society. Even a society that has loosely established standards of behavior and morality will be more stable than one that does not. That is what each generation faces, a slight change in conscience. It may be disturbing to the elder members of that society. Some changes in social conscience may go almost unnoticed. I question the collective conscience in America today. Is it any where close to what it was two hundred years ago ? The answer is an emphatic, no. Should it be ? No is also the response I would give. The true answer to that question lies with one person, you. Just as your individual conscience guides your actions so does the collective conscience guide the society. Something to think about.Our current President ran on a platform of " change. " I agree, things need to change. A change in social conscience is required to provide more stability. You can not achieve that result through legislation only through charity. Charity is an individual response.

Good Enough

You've got a Champagne taste and a beer pocketbook ! I heard that particular euphemism more than once from my Dad. He was correct, of course, and that was just his way of pointing something out. Dad had a lot of expressions to fit every occasion. Some were not not as nice as that one, but always to the point. As I was listening to the news that particular one came to mind. I thought to myself, if America spent less time financing the Champagne, and just enjoying a beer, we would all be happier. I think that is a big portion of the problem we do face today. Everybody wants the champagne. The thing is we should learn to just enjoy the beer.
I should clarify that last statement by saying we are being told we need the Champagne. That is to say that wants are being placed above necessities. Yes, we need water to drink, but do we need say, Propel Fitness water at over a dollar a bottle ? I mean,seriously, do we ? Do our automobiles really have to have blue tooth and an on-board navigational system ? And do we really need to have a 60" flat screen plasma in home theater system ? Of course not but we can finance one. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. That is a lesson I was first told, then learned the hard way.
In this political correct world of today we are teaching tolerance. You're alright, I'm alright. Your personal choices are not only accepted, but being celebrated ! This is just how we have evolved, enlightened and compassionate. The marketing people haven't relented though, you still need, no, you deserve the very best of everything, it is practically a right ! The wealthy, by virtue of their wealth, should not have things that you do not. And not only that, if you don't have these things you are being deprived. You should be angry ! Demand more.
There was a time when pride of ownership was important. We are now financing that pride. Not that it is a new thing, it has been going on for a while now. I just think we need to dial it back a bit. The federal government is in debt, by trillions of dollars ! Think about that, the federal government is in debt, trillions of dollars ! Consider the taxes being paid in. Consider what must be paid out. And then consider how we, The United States of America, are borrowing money to finance our dream. Are we dreaming about beer or Champagne ? Seems obvious to me that we are buying the Champagne far too often. Then listen to all the proposed spending from the government. It won't take you long to figure it out for yourself. We have got a champagne taste and beer pocketbook for sure.
Years ago, back in the dark ages of the nineteen sixties, those in need of assistance received that help. Going to a local distribution center, they were given a box full of the staples. The necessities for living were provided. Look at what is given out today. By comparison, Champagne. Those in need of medical care were treated. No, they didn't have preventative care and wellness centers but their needs were met. All these social programs that cost us billions of dollars, can we afford them ? Are we buying the Champagne, instead of settling for a beer ? It would seem so. It is not a popular sentiment, I am aware of that. I do think it is a wise and necessary one however. I also think it is a lesson that needs to be taught. We need to encourage that attitude if we want to turn this trend around. During the great depression the Government employed millions of workers doing civil projects, building roads, national parks and such. The workers were paid a small sum but the point is they were working for whatever they got. We are headed that way again.
I don't mean to say we shouldn't help those who need it. I am saying we need to review just what it is we are doing. Think about all the regulations the government, both federal and state, are imposing upon us. How much do those regulations raise the price ? Even local regulations can significantly impact the cost of things. By demanding the very finest of everything, even with the best of intentions, does this not contribute to this problem ? The problem of, what is good enough ? Oh, we are always told that aren't we ? Never settle for what is good enough, you deserve better. You should definitely have, no, demand more than what is necessary. Good enough is not good enough.

Back in the saddle

My routine has been interrupted and I am struggling to get back on track. Each of us have our routines, some of us being more of a slave to it than others. It would seem that the older we get the more likely we are to have a routine. That is a little ironic, as the older we get the less we need that routine. For those of us that retire, the time is our own. Isn't that the purpose of retiring, to do what you want to do, when you want to do it ? But maybe as we age we like routines more because it takes less effort. Just get up and go. After so many years of having to be somewhere, doing something, that would make sense. I am only semi-retired so I still have to be someplace, sorta, it is a very flexible thing. When your son is the district manager of the store where you work, well you know. As we would say when I was in the Navy, I've got it like that. That statement says it all. Doesn't have anything to do with being fair or equitable, nope, I've got it like that. And having it like that, is a good thing.
This time my routine was interrupted by a required medical procedure. I will not bore you with any details about that. It was nothing serious in nature and is more of a preventative measure than anything else. This procedure took some preparation and that is what got me off track. This morning I am trying to get get going again. I'm already behind schedule, but getting there. I think it is going to be a wonderful day.
It has only been a day since I was knocked off this schedule of mine. It seems a lot longer somehow. I was thinking about retirement and wonder just what would I do all day ? Oh, if I had lots of money I am sure I could keep myself entertained but that isn't happening unless I win the lottery. So, just what kind of routine would I have then ? I would have to be doing something that doesn't cost a lot. I'm thinking volunteer work of some kind. Well, I don't really need to give that a lot of thought now, I'll be working for a number of years to come. I am only sixty, you know.
Now that I have this little blog written I feel better. More like I'm back in the saddle,as the saying goes. I did miss April Fools day. No one pranked me which was a good thing given the circumstances. I don't want any joking going on during a medical procedure ! Not that I don't enjoy a good prank or two but you understand. All went routinely and that is a good thing. I like routine.