the things we do

  I am making a conscious effort to avoid commenting on political subjects. Make no mistake I have plenty of opinions but have grown tired of expressing them to no end. So, for now I have decided to just be a liberal and think about rainbows and unicorns. I will not concern myself with facts or the truth, I'll just hum loudly as I spin my fidget spinner. I did watch last nights argument and went to bed following that wondering what I had just witnessed. There was, in my opinion, no winner in that fiasco. Still not commentating on political issue here, just saying. I watched a three way argument. What office is Chris Wallace running for? He sure wasn't moderating anything. I was, to say the least, disappointed with that show. 

 The last few days I have working on my porch project. I decided to strip the paint and redo it. I live in an upstairs apartment and have a porch facing the street. Now there is some debate about whether it is a porch or a deck. Typically a porch is on the front of the house and leads to the front entrance of the home. They are usually covered and may provide a space for eating and socializing. A deck however is located at the back of the house. They are not typically covered and may or may not provide entry to the home. Both of those are usually on the ground floor. So, is it a porch or a deck? I call it my front porch it's just a really high step to the street level. Well whatever you want to call it I have been sanding that flooring. Using a variety of tools, a belt sander, an angle grinder, and a sanding block I am making progress. All that noise serves to drown out the world, one I'm growing weary of hearing. Can't wait for next year when some of this will have calmed down. Anyway I decided to paint that flooring Garland Green. That color is just a bit darker than hunter green. I wonder how you get the job of naming all those colors? I was fascinated as a kid with the 64 colors of Crayola crayons, paint chips can entertain me for an hour or more just reading the names. I have just about six more boards to go to complete that process.  

 Earlier this year I built a Catio. That's a patio for a cat. Some of you may remember that. I can now say Morris seems to enjoy that a great deal. He usually goes out there in the morning and early afternoon. I've watched him just sitting there staring at who knows what for quite a while. At other times he is taking a nap in the sun. It does have a swinging door that allows him to go in and out as he pleases. It's amazing to me how quickly he can now enter and exit. There are times when he runs down the hallway and almost dives through that door. The Catio is on the back of the house and is uncovered, well except for a wire cage that is. From a distance the wire is hard to see and you can be fooled into thinking it isn't there at all. I had one person ask me, won't he jump off that? Yes, I'm certain he would if he could. I'm waiting to see what he does when it snows outside, what will he do then? I would make a larger, more complex Catio but the wife isn't thrilled with that idea, feeling what he has is sufficient. We'll see. 

 I noticed some leaves are starting to turn and some are starting to fall. Grass cutting is coming to an end soon and I'm anxious for that to happen. I have the lawn tractor project up next. I do not have a heated workshop and so must work outside. Naturally I'm wanting to get it done before it's too cold. The paint has begun to chip off and rust is taking its' place. I need to sand that down, prime and paint. My equipment for doing that is limited. No compressed air supply, all painting will be done with spray cans. It'll serve the purpose but no show finishes. I'll also service that mower before putting it up for the winter. It could really use a new deck but the cost of that is just silly, might as well buy another mower. Well, these are some of the things that occupy my time when I'm not commentating on life and politics or reminiscing. So, for now, that's a part of my world, what's going on.   

Good Memories

  I was on Facebook when I saw a photograph of a wooden cabin cruiser. The caption said it was a picture of when those folks had restored her. I love wooden boats. I don't own any wooden boats because they are expensive things to maintain, same reason I don't own any classic automobiles. But it sure brings a smile to my face to see them. My father had several of them over the years. Each one was a work in process and enjoyed only for a short time. You see in the 1960's on Long Island older boats were plentiful and most of them were wooden. Fiberglass had first been used following WW2 and only gained in popularity for it's ease in maintenance. Fiberglass was the thing and wooden boats were just old. Not old enough to really be considered a hobby or collectible, wooden boats could be purchased cheaply. My father worked at a boat yard and a marina at varying times. It was during those times he got those boats. Well, that's the way it usually happens. You work at the car dealership you get a car, you work at the clothing store, you get new clothes, you work at the boat yard, you get a boat. 

 Yesterday I was writing about my ancestors and what they did for a living. We don't often think of our parents as our ancestors, but they are. I'm an ancestor to my children and grandchildren! That doesn't sound quite right but it is. Then seeing a picture of that boat I was reminded once again of working with my Dad on wooden boats. I helped with the engines. Antique engines these days. Grey Marine was a name I remember well. Six cylinder in line engines with a reverse gear. Dad would talk about the heat exchangers, line shaft bearings and the screw. I helped running wiring from bow to stern. The earliest boat I remember him owning had a big old knife switch next to the batteries. It looked like something out of a Frankenstein movie. It was the main cut off for all the power. Once we had an electrical fire and Dad hollers open the knife switch! I did, the fire was put out, the wire replaced and we continued our voyage.

 The thing I remember the most was helping to do the " bottom. " That's what was said, we need to do the bottom. The boat was brought out of the water and trailered into the yard by the side of our house. No renting space at the boat yard for us, that was for people with money. Once positioned the boat was put on blocks. The blocks were whatever materials we had available at the time. The trailer would then be pulled out from under her and you were ready to go. First the bottom had to be scraped of barnacles and such. Labor intensive? You bet it was, and so was what was to come. Next we would strip the bottom. That was done using a blow torch and a putty knife. I remember well the sound of that blow torch, the smell and the fumes. That old bottom paint surely contained lead but it wasn't a concern. In fact, the lead made it strip a bit easier as it melted. Sanding came next to smooth that hull out. Of course you had to caulk her too. Dad had a big old paper bag full of oakum. It would be driven into the seams with a caulking iron. That was a long and somewhat tedious task but a vital one. Screw that up and your boat will leak. I can recall Dad filling the bilge with water while the boat was still on the blocks. The water would cause the wood to swell a bit creating a watertight seal. He couldn't fill it to the waterline of course but at least that much could be checked before launching her. Oh and of course a fresh coat of bottom paint would be applied, usually red for some reason although I do remember one being blue. And all of that was done by hand, no electric sanders or tools of any kind used. 

 Now there are still plenty of folks that know all about that process. Wooden boats are hobby craft these days enjoyed for their charm more than anything else. I am in the crowd that believes there is nothing better than a wooden boat. I love the smell, the sound and the way they ride in the water. They each have their own personality. They were built, not formed. In my mind that makes a difference. Fiberglass and resin doesn't have a soul, wood does. It was, after all, a living thing at one point. Making it into a boat only seems like the natural thing. A return to the water that made it grow in the first place. A homecoming of sorts. A romantic notion? Yes, perhaps it is but wooden boats have that appeal to me. I'm transported in time just by the sight of one. Memories of a time gone by I suppose. 

                      

 This is a blow torch in case you don't know. Yes, Dad had one and we used it all the time. Not just for stripping paint, it was used in plumbing to melt the lead for closet drains. Dad once toasted a sandwich with it! He did that to amuse me, and it did. Hey he wiped off the shovel first before putting the bread on it. Ah, good times, good days, and good memories. 

looking back

  Ever heard of a cordwainer? I certainly hadn't until I read it on the census. I found that occupation while searching for my ancestors. Now this is something I had done a while back and the details are foggy now. I have it recorded in the family tree, online, but am unable to access that at this time. I'll get back to it later on. But anyway I knew of a man named Phineas Terry, he was father to my great grandmother Lucy. I didn't know his father. The search began. Then I mentioned that to my sister and she provided me with the most interesting document. Incomplete, though mostly intact, where the Indentured servant papers belonging to Phineas. I read them with much interest and found the information I was seeking. His fathers' name was Caleb. Caleb Terry that lived in New Jersey. Caleb had, for a small sum, indentured Phineas to a cordwainer for a period of seven years. Phineas did receive a small monthly stipend to purchase necessary items like clothing and personal care products. The contract, the indenture didn't allow for much else. No drinking, no women, no nonsense! But he would be taught the trade, become a professional cordwainer. He obviously completed this indenture and given his papers as proof. They served as a sort of diploma I suppose.

 Now Phineas I found living in Bridgehampton on Long Island. It was there he raised his family. They are buried there as well. That was information I didn't have growing up and I'm certain I passed that cemetery many times. I do have a picture of Phineas in a group photograph taken in Amagansett, New York. He was there along with other family members at a Mrs. Pheobe Hands' boarding house. I'm quite certain there were things that belonged to him at my great grandfathers home, some tools of the trade. None of that was ever mentioned but I was young then and probably not paying attention much. Phineas lived a long and productive life from what I can tell. I've always thought to go back and do more research, see what else I could uncover about him. I know that I have roots in New Jersey and being from Long Island I don't want to claim that. It's a joke, if you're from Long Island you'll understand. I have folks from Mass. as well. Tried to spell that but settled on abbreviating. Well none of that is surprising really. Back in the old days crossing Long Island sound to Jersey, Ct. and even Mass. was quite common. Travel by boat was surely quicker than by horseback or wagon. There is even a Long Island located in Boston Harbor.

 So, what is a cordwainer? Turns out it is a shoemaker. A cordwainer, an old English term, is a man that makes new shoes and boots from new leather. He is not to be confused with a cobbler. A cobbler merely repairs shoes and boots. The terms became interchangeable over the years in America. Phineas was a cordwainer and practiced that trade in Bridgehampton New York. There were tools of that trade at my great grandfathers house although I can't say they were his. Those tools were quite common in every household for making repairs or whatever. I don't have any from there but did purchase a shoe last and keep on a shelf to remind me of Phineas. What is the shoe last? That is the iron foot that is the shape of a human foot. They come in all sizes. I have one for making a childs' shoe. 

 The other day I wrote about my whaling ancestors, Abraham and Oliver. Now I'm talking about a cordwainer. It is interesting to know what our ancestors did for a living, how they got by. Today there are no whalers and I suspect cordwainers are far and few between. I would expect some to do it as a hobby or perhaps being a survivalist. Many of the things that were everyday things a hundred years ago or more are now relegated to that, a hobby. Spinning cotton into thread. Knitting, crocheting, darning. When's the last time you heard of someone darning a sock? I've always enjoyed old tools, of any kind. I wouldn't call myself a collector, it isn't something I pursue. I do have a tack hammer I acquired at a yard sale. The handle is worn down where the person using it held it. The indents are quite deep, almost worn through in fact. It's remarkable to me that it would have been used that long to become that worn. That's what made me buy it. Just thinking about the years of use that tool has seen. I also have a small hammer that may have been used by a tinker. There's a trade you don't hear about anymore. I do remember when you could buy a tinkers dam at the hardware store. Ask for one at Ace hardware today, see what the helpful hardware man has to say about that. 

this time

  Is this 1960 again? I was seven years old the last time, and now I'm 67. I only ask because I'm hearing the same thing as I heard back in 1960. The only thing different is it relates to an nominee to the supreme court. The issue is, she is a Roman Catholic! Yes, I'm hearing that is a big issue with the Democrats. There is much concern. Strangely in 1960 the Democrats were running a Roman Catholic and it wasn't an issue to them at all. The Republicans had an issue with that. What was the problem? They were afraid a Roman Catholic might just do as the Pope said, and the Pope would rule America! Being a Papist wasn't a good thing back then in some areas of the country. But the Democrats correctly pointed out that article VI clause three of the Construction specifically says, no religious test shall ever be applied for any office or position of public trust. I guess they have forgotten that. 

 Well let's take a look at what Roman Catholics believe shall we. They do believe the Pope is infallible. They pray to the various saints. The Bible is error free and the revealed word of God. The Ten Commandments serve as a moral compass. And they believe in the Holy Trinity. Nothing too radical in my opinion, no reason to question there suitability for office. In actuality the Roman Catholics don't hold many beliefs different from the Protestants. Martin Luther wrote his 95 thesis in objection to the practice of indulgences, that's what that was all about. It started the Protestant reformation. It's concern is the forgiveness of sin. Back in 1960, and before that, the Catholics and Protestants pretty much agreed on what is sinful and what is not. There has been some reinterpreting over the years and today the divide on " sin " is a bit greater. In 1960 the fear was the percepts of the Roman Catholic church would be followed. Today the fear is the same, the new justice just might agree on what is sinful. The big difference between then and now? Today it is just Christianity in general that is being questioned. Catholicism is being used because Catholics do not believe in abortion, believing the commandment thou shalt not kill applies to babies as well. But I'm not getting into that, just that is the opposition to that. Politics Roe V Wade could be in jeopardy. It's the Christian Conservative base that worries the Democrats, not really the Catholic Church. 

 Now, we have Muslims in Congress, in the courts, and in all offices of public trust. And what do Muslims believe? We have to start with a basic understanding of that religion. It is also an ideology, a form of government. That is the Sharia law you hear about. Occasionally you hear where they want that implemented in their neighborhoods right here in America. So a Catholic might listen to the Pope, a Christian might read the Bible and believe in that, and a Muslim will read the Quran and believe in that. The first two do not involve changing the government of the United States, the later certainly does. Yet, why was their no questioning that? I heard no outcry based on that. I guess it was because of Article VI clause three, no religious test. Apparently that isn't being applied today, at least not by the Democrats. 

 Well all I can say is here is the proof that history repeats itself. It is 1960 all over again. The shoe is on the other foot this time but the premise is the same. A persons religious belief will alter their decision making. They will not be impartial! Not a big fan of Kennedy personally but he did an honest job in office. I don't think the Pope instructed him to invader Cuba. Maybe the Pope told him to put a man on the moon. Anyway, it turned out that a Catholic could be president without the Vatican taking over America. Richard Nixon was a Quaker! Well we all know how that turned out. Yes, history does repeat itself. I've lived long enough to see that first hand. Well, people don't really change all that much, motivations remain pretty much the same. 

 What is the motivation this time? Is it just Roe V Wade? No, this time it is the removal of God from government altogether. That is the current agenda from the left. Under the guise of such things as, choice, tolerance and acceptance, the goal is the restructuring of the nations moral principles. Morals are now to be fluid, ever changing things, subject to whatever pleasure or profit they may bring. That's the motivation this time.  

living in the past

  Abraham Miller King, my third great grandfather was a whaler. In todays world , an occupation to be despised. His brother, Oliver Gibson King was also engaged in that activity. They both sailed out of the port of Sag Harbor on Long Island. Sag harbor today is more of a tourist attraction than anything else. The rich and famous make their homes there. I wonder what Abraham and Oliver would think about all of that now. Abraham, it has been recorded made seven trips around the horn, Cape Horn that is. Rounding that they entered the pacific ocean in search of those elusive beasts. Journeys could last for years. There was no assurance of success, no guarantee of any kind besides long days of nothing followed, hopefully, by a day or two of intense excitement and very hard and dangerous work. Beyond the danger of actually catching the whale, rendering the carcass was equally as fraught with danger. The whale hanging alongside the ship, dripping blood into the water, attracted sharks. The men standing on the platforms attempting to strip that flesh were in constant danger. One slip. one careless moment, and you became part of the feeding frenzy. Abraham and Oliver survived all of that and indeed, saw the end of the industry itself. Neither became wealthy, neither became famous, they are just names in history. I have uncovered a few bits of information about them, snippets of their lives. Although both were long gone before my arrival I did hear their names and some of their adventures. Oliver served in the civil war, I'm not certain about Abraham. Oliver met his fate in New York city. He had travelled there in an attempt to secure his pension and rented a room for the night. There was a gas leak in that room and he succumbed to that during the night. Abraham traveled to New York to bring his body home. Of Abraham I know little else after that not having spent any time in researching that. It's something that I'm always going to do one day. I do have a picture of Abraham and Oliver in a sort of locket type case. It originally belong to Abrahams' wife Agnes. Agnes gave it her daughter Lucy. I got it through my father who got it from his grandfather Floyd. 

 It is with some pride that I claim that lineage. Yes they were whalers but that was an honorable profession in their day. I feel no responsibility for whatever actions they may have taken in the pursuit of their profession. They were just trying to make a living, taking care of obligations. Today it is a rather romantic notion, this being a whaler, at least for me it is. I am not distraught over the plight of the whale and cursing my ancestors for there contribution to that. Seems rather silly to me, you can't change history by being mad at it. Now I make no claim to being a whaler or a great sailor of the seas. It's true I spent twenty years in the Navy and sailed all over the world. Didn't go 'round the horn though, went through the canal to reach the Pacific, a shortcut not available to Abraham. And my cruises were far more comfortable than any those brothers may have made, on any ship! I did think about that at times, wondering if they had sailed the same area I was in. The oceans are vast places, far larger than you can imagine unless you have sailed upon them. I have stood on the deck at night, the sky full of stars and the moon resting on the horizon. Nothing but an expanse of water and waves for as far as the eye can see, and sometimes as far as you can see through a telescope. Surely they were on a ship that crossed those waters somewhere. It's a thought anyway. It is something I think about when I'm living in the past. A place I visit to escape today, for a while. 

 

the way it goes

  All things change given time. It's an obvious thing that often goes unnoticed. Maybe that's why you have to reach a certain age to see that, you have to be given time. We have all heard that each day is a gift, that is why we call it the present. Yeah, when I first heard that one I groaned, sounds lame. But the meaning is deeper than you would first think. Again, something else that takes time. Wisdom is the product of time, not education. That saying contains that wisdom, wisdom granted over time if one is willing to accept it. Of course there are many that will refuse. Those folks prefer to hold onto the past. The problem there being the same old errors are repeated and excuses are fabricated to explain all of that. What I'm thinking about this morning is the transition of power. Something we are going to be hearing a great deal about in the near future. That will be on a national level but I'm thinking about the local level. I'm thinking about the transition that often goes unnoticed. The one that happens over several generations, sometimes four or more generations. I'm talking about the power of families as it pertains to local politics. 

 I grew up in a small town and it is from that experience I speak That town and its' politics had been controlled by that central core of families for generations. As with everything the connections were made tying those families to the founding of the town. It is something we all tend to do, tie ourselves in some fashion to the shaping of history, we want to be a part of that. Whether we claim great deeds for ourselves or cite some long gone ancestors, riding that shirttail as the saying goes, that is what we wish to do. Today we extend that to include any wrongdoings committed in the past as a tool to use today. I mean like the notion all white people should pay reparations for what some white people did. The past as a weapon! But the change , the shift I'm talking about and have witnessed, to a degree, concerns those old core families. I have seen that power just slip away over the years. No longer do those names dominate the political offices, no longer are those names familiar. Now those names are just footnotes in history, they are the names that used to be. It's easy for me to see because I have become detached from that, an outsider now, looking in. I've been watching. I have watched as the town was consumed by those that view it as an amusement, a distraction from their everyday lives, a get away. A place for the wealthy to indulge themselves. And now, the old families , the old names have been pushed aside, the last bastion of what made the town what it was, wiped clean. Now those in power rule what it has become, not what was. 

 Now I live in another small town. I've lived here twenty five years or so. I can see the same progression taking place. The old names fading away. The families that dominated the political scene slowly losing that grip. I find a bit of irony in the fact that my son is a part of that. He has taken the position of Mayor. The fact that to the old families, the older residents, he is an outsider is not lost on me. Yes he went to elementary school here, graduated from the local high school, but he wasn't born here. He's not a farmer or a waterman, the two dominate occupations in the past. To some he is an interloper, a part of a problem. What's the problem? The loss of power, of input to local politics. Things are changing. New rules, new policies. An interruption to what we have always done! All of that is happening for much the reason as my hometown. It's economics.

 When the old money is replaced by the new, things change. That's what happens to those families. Their wealth is relative. When the town was old and filled with just the old families, there comparative wealth secured their positions. They controlled business to a degree. Those families were the bankers, the agents, the holder of property and influence. Then there comes an influx of those from the outside. It happens gradually, a few folks at a time, drawn to the town for a variety of reasons. A vacation spot, a place to get away, safety, anonymity, and they continue to arrive. For some places they become an attraction, and that is the appeal to those coming. an attraction, an amusement, a status symbol. That happened to my hometown. 

 In other places the reason is slightly different. Here in and around Greensboro the attraction is affordable housing away from the metropolis. People want that country living away from the city life. It's true, it doesn't have to be New York City or any major city, even lesser cities have their issues with crime and open spaces and regulations. Move to the country, you can have a yard, a garden, be a farmer. The developers build these housing cul de sacs, give them names, usually including the word garden or forest or some other descriptive word to entice you. It's a promise of the idyllic country life, with all the amenities of course. And that is what happens. The farm land is sold off for a great profit, it is profit when the land has been inherited, passed down through generations. Why work, struggle, fight the weather and regulations when you can sell the land for a cool million or so, enough to retire comfortably. 

 Along with that process those folks begin to demand more amenities, the things they enjoyed about the city. Shopping, they require shopping, like malls and such to satisfy their needs. Hey, they aren't country folks, they are sophisticated people that require the finest products. Soon they tire of the country life and want to be entertained. And places to eat, plenty of places to eat. The new money overtakes the old and things change. The old money, the old families, and that old power disappear. It's the natural order of things. It's the way it goes.  

finding answers

  I recently purchased a radio/gps/multi-media player for my car. I have used Google maps on my phone for navigation and thought it would be nice to have in the dashboard. Some things never change I guess, I still like to add upgrades. This was nothing more than replacing a radio. Oh, it came with a back up camera as well. So anyway I ordered it from Amazon . It arrived on time and in good shape. I had to purchase a special tool, surprise, surprise, to remove the factory installed one. Six bucks for two little pieces of metal. Yes, I could have done it another way, I You Tubed it, but using the tool was easiest. So now I have that tool should someone else need it, I've got a lot of tools like that, just in case. Prior to that tool I bought a wrench to remove the thermostat housing on an Oldsmobile Alero, still have the tool, not the car. But whatever, I did get that system installed. It only took a few hours to do. 

 Okay, so I got the system installed and it's time to try it out. It did come with an instruction manual, in three languages. Once you locate the English section you discover there just isn't that many pages. Now some functions are pretty simple , like turning on the radio. It is a touch screen and I have some experience with that. Radio works fine. The backup camera system works great too, shift to reverse on on it comes. Can't get much simpler than that. Now for the navigation system. I have the thing in the dash, the gps antenna is mounted just as they suggested. I turn that on and discover at that point I need a wi-fi connection or some method of connecting to the internet. Well, who knew? The advertising for the product said it would work offline. It does, if you go online first and download a map. Hmm, well I didn't know that, figured that is what the antenna was for. The internet had informed me that satellite navigation was free, the satellites provided by Uncle Sam, using my tax money. Yes it is, but you have to have the map first from what I can determine. I'm still working on the offline maps thing. The book isn't much help, assuming you already know what it is they are talking about. 

 I have done quite a bit of reading since about sat/nav and all that. What I have discovered is that it is difficult to get a straight answer to anything. Getting past the advertisements is the first obstacle. Once that hurdle has been breached , finding the simple answer is next. The problem I feel is that there are too many assumptions being made. What is required is a primer for us "old" folks. Drag the screen from the top and swipe. Do what? Allowing things to run in the background? How do I know what is running in the background? Install the update? Allow this to make changes to your system? I don't know, should I? I just want to know some simple answers. On the other side of that, patience is also required. I have found that often it is my impatience that causes issues. I'm fine when there is a message saying this doing that and wait. I'm good when there is that little green bar where you can follow the progress. But without any of that, I'm pushing the button or touching that screen! What's happening? Then I have three or four processes trying to go at once and the whole thing gets as confused as I am. 

 Yes I know it's a joke about old people and technology. It has always been so and I expect will continue that way. But I think that happens when things aren't explained clearly and concisely. The basic information is being assumed instead of taught. I admit that I do not know exactly how the satellite navigation system works and what interface is required to access that. I wasn't aware that an internet connection was required for that system to operate. I was told to use the mirror function. Yup, that works but what advantage did I get from doing so? Just that the screen in the car was larger, I was still using data on the phone, hearing the same directions. I shouldn't be looking at the screen while I'm driving in the first place, so what's the point? As I said , I can download a map of the area, but I've yet to figure out how large is the area? I can enter an address and get driving directions. That'll work as long as I have a connection to the internet. But, will it work offline? I mean, if I download a map of the area, the area where I want to go, how will I know if that area is within the area I downloaded? That is to say, when I leave my driveway will the offline map that I downloaded of the area where I'm going be in the area of my home? It's all very confusing. Then the book says I can put those maps on an SD card and use them but you have to update the map every thirty days. Well that's if you store them in the internal memory, what happens if you store them on a card? Will they work after thirty days? I need to take a class.  And no, there isn't a you tube video that shows me how to use the unit I purchased. Can find plenty for others but not this particular unit. 

 Well, anyway I have satellite navigation, am/fm  radio, multi-media player and a back up camera system in my car. Won't use half of what it is capable of but I have it. I can play videos, listen to Spotify ( with an internet connection) go on Facebook, all sorts of things that you shouldn't do while driving. It's pretty cool. What I'm trying to figure out is exactly what it will or will not do. I'm always hesitant to do anything when I don't know the answer. When a computer or any electronic device asks that question, do you want to allow, I hesitant, do I? I don't know, maybe. 

for the children

  Well I'm hearing it once again, this will benefit the children. We should pass this legislation because it will fund schools in Maryland. I can only shake my head. What is this legislation that will provide the revenue so desperately needed? All the lotteries, the scratch offs, the daily numbers, the legalization of pot, all failed to provide sufficient revenues despite all the assurances they would? Well, legalized sports betting is the answer. Yes, if we allow people to legally place their bets on football, baseball, car races or any sport you can imagine the tax from that will then fund the schools. It's a brilliant plan and should be implemented immediately, it is on the ballot! The ads are on television, get out and vote for the children! I'm being reassured this will provide those funds, well because, the bookies have a reputation for being a stickler for honesty and integrity. They surely will all turn legitimate business people and open up their betting café. Hey if it is called a café, that lends it credence. Why it's a respectable establishment for sure. 

 It isn't lost on me that the ones proposing this legislation are the Democrats. The same group that are always complaining about income inequality. They are saying the people need more money, they deserve more money , in fact, they are entitled to more money! And this is in the same demographic that will be betting on sports! Yes, we all know that will be the case. They are already the ones that purchase the largest number of lottery tickets, per capita, the working poor. So basically the Democratic plan is to legalize sport betting, tax that, and fund the schools. In fiscal year 2019 the state of Maryland received 2.9 Billion dollars just from the sale of lottery tickets! Add in the Casino revenue and revenue from horse racing and that number doubles. So what does it cost to fund the schools in Maryland? Last year about 6 billion wasn't enough. Yet the state says they spent 21% of the budget on education. But something ain't right about that. In 2019 the general fund, that's where the education money comes from, was 19.7 Billion dollars. Twenty one per cent of that is about3.8 billion dollars. So where did all that revenue from the lotteries and such go? They generated far more than 3.8 billion. Could it be that the funds aren't really going to education like was promised? We need sports betting.

 I shake my head wondering what will they justify next with this excuse, it's for the children? Seems like they are running short on vice to legalize. Prostitution may be next, you know, for the children. We could tax that, after all, they are going to do it anyway. That would make it safer for everyone, especially the workers. The Democrats are certainly concerned about the workers. Why that's the very reason they afford those people the opportunity to purchase all those tickets in the first place, granting them freedom to get rich! We could raise the minimum wage, that way they can buy more tickets. Heck, we can even give the money to those that aren't willing to work and those that aren't here legally. They should be able to buy tickets too, you know, for the kids. You know those folks support all the liquor stores, the lottery outlets, the keno parlors, and head shops or whatever it is they call them these days, dispensaries I believe. And I'm certain they only do it, for the children.    

milestones and millstones

  Today is the first day of fall, made it through another summer, that makes 67 of them. Today is also the birthday of my granddaughter. That happened eighteen years ago. It's definitely an eye opener. Where have all those years gone? We often say that seems like yesterday but I'm here to say, it doesn't. It seems like eighteen years ago given all that has transpired. It's really quite a beginning to a story. Morgan was born with some physical challenges which have required surgeries. She has preserved through all of that and just soldiered on. Never complaining of any limitation, any obstacle in her course, she has just kept moving forward. If you were looking for a symbol of strength, look no further. And you will not hear of any of that from her, she seldom says a word about any of that. 

  Her wish for her birthday is to get a tattoo. Her Dad is taking her to get what she wants. He can't say much about that as he has quite a few himself. I gave her my grandfatherly advice on all of that and it feel on deaf ears. I'm not surprised, when we are young we are often deaf. I can say there were plenty of times I should have listened a bit closer. But it is a sign of the times, the current fashion. Man has been tattooing himself since the very beginning of civilization. The proliferation of the practice is only limited by social acceptance. Quite common today and accepted almost universally. I still feel like there are going to be a lot of silly looking grandma's and grandpa's in the not too distant future. The reason is simple enough and one George Burns talked about, as you age your skin tends to not fit so well anymore. The "canvas" no longer stretched, the artwork suffers.

  With the fall the cooler temperatures have arrived. That means turning on the heat, something us old people talk about. I have electric heat and the bill is substantial. I remind myself that I don't have to chop wood or shovel coal and so shouldn't complain. My grandparents did both of those activities as a daily chore. I particularity recall my grandmothers house. She had that big old cast iron cook stove in the kitchen. That was the primary source of heat for her. She burned wood and coal in that stove. She did have a kerosene heater in the parlor but rarely used it, only on the coldest of days. She would bank the fire before going to bed, and stoke it up in the morning. The fire in the stove seldom went out, even in the summer months. All I have to do is turn a dial, I could upgrade, get a smart thermostat and adjust it on my phone. That's getting a little carried away though. 

  The mums are in the stores and farm stands, the last vestiges of warm weather. Mums do signal the coming of the cold, probably why they are all huddled together themselves. Every notice how closely together those stalks are? And the buds are nestled in there with a green blanket around them. Dried corn stalks will stand guard and pumpkins are everywhere. Yes, it is time to pack up the summer. This year campaign signs join in. I'll be glad when that season is over. Well, another season, another year is coming to an end. Time marches on as the saying goes. My granddaughter is 18 today. Dang. Another milestone has been reached. 

  Milestones and millstones are what we encounter everyday. Celebrate the milestones, leave the millstones behind. That's my advice. The past can become a millstone if you allow that to happen. I look back with a smile, remembering all the good times, the milestones passed. We made it this far! I'm taking that as a positive. What milestone will be reached next? None of us know until we get there. The secret is kept until then. 

He shall

  Well I have to say there is some good coming from all this political banter. A lot more people are actually reading the constitution. I admit I'm one of them. I have read more of that document over the last year than I ever did in the past. Today we are concerned with Article 2 Section 2 which gives the President the authority to nominate the Justices for the Supreme court. It is actually quite clear, it says "he shall nominate " and later in the sentence, "judges" of the supreme court. It doesn't give a timeline for that to happen. That is up to the president to decide, you know, as chief executive. That section also includes other powers at his disposal one being filling vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate by granting commissions that expire at the end of the next session. Imagine the uproar if he actually did that? But my point is simply that people are now reading the actual document. And like lawyers everywhere they are interpreting what it means. Back in March of 2016 then President Obama nominated Merrick Garland to fill the vacancy of Antonin Scalia. The senate refused to vote of that nomination, a move within their rights as well. The constitution does not specify when the confirmation hearings must take place, no timeline in there. Now President Obama is supposed to be a Constitutional Scholar, that is what was advertised anyway. He was an attorney. He does have a degree from Harvard. He is certainly far more versed in law than I am, I'll give him that. He obviously didn't have any issue with nominating a justice to the supreme court during his lame duck period. Didn't hear him saying, we should wait until after the election. So, in that I would would have to concur counselor. The constitution is clear, the President shall nominate a judge to the supreme court whenever a vacancy occurs on that court. I'd go a little further saying it being the highest court in the land that vacancy should be filled as soon as possible. The confirmation process can take months, as we are all well aware, therefore the sooner we get started the better. That is to say, better for the people, it shouldn't be delayed until it is politically expedient, or advantageous to any one party. The court is blind! The court does not form their opinions based on political ideology, their decision are founded upon a single document. The Constitution of the United States of America. That is the supreme law of the land. In this instance what does that document say? It says; the president shall with the advice and consent of the senate, appoint supreme court judges. Seems clear enough. 

 Now we are hearing that the President should not nominate anyone until after the next election. The thinking being, let the people decide. But will there be a line item vote on the ballot proposing just what person is nominated to the court? No, you get to vote for the president and that president gets to choose who he or she will nominate. If we were to use that logic, every time the President where to make an appointment or nomination we should, let the people decide, by waiting until the next election. But that is only being proposed in this instance because of what? Is it for the good of the people, or is it good for the party in power? The later is the answer in the real world. The bottom line is this, the President, by the authority granted to him in the Constitution has the duty to nominate a justice. It's part of the job. As the "boss" he or she also gets to decide when to do that. When he was elected the people spoke. It was at that point that the President, after having been inaugurated and taken the oath of office, was granted that power. It doesn't end until he leaves office and is replaced with another person. Being President is being the President until the day you are replaced. On his final days in office then President Obama issued three hundred and thirty pardons! Shouldn't he have waited until after the election? I mean, let the people decide? In this same section, section two, it clearly says the President can grant pardons and reprieves for crimes against the United States, except for impeachment. Of course the thing is. once he isn't the President he doesn't have that authority anymore. For that reason he has to do it right away, if that is what he wishes. Same thing with nominees to the supreme court. If the president wants to nominate a specific individual they can only do that as president, that's how it works. The constitution says , "he shall. " I'm no lawyer but to me he shall is the same thing as saying he will,  as in you don't have a choice about that. You shall! No where in the Constitution, the supreme law of the land does it say, the president shall wait to do anything. It does say he acts with the advice and consent of the Senate. So, send up that nomination, it's your job Mr. President. Following that, it is up to the Senate to either issue their consent or dissent. That's how it works.     

what I'm seeing

  There are days when I think I'm watching the end of the parade. It isn't that I feel like I'm close to being over, not that feeling, but rather life the way I know it is coming to an end. Some would call it progress, others call it change, while I just think it's all just slipping away. I know what Max meant in the movie Dirty Dancing when he said that line, it's like it is all just slipping away. Or could it be like Merle Haggard asked, are the good times really over for good. It's the same sentiment I believe, same emotional response. It's a sadness. There is still hope for tomorrow but I'm sad to see this one go. There will never be another quite like it. I wonder if America can regain her stature in the world. America was created by brave men and women working together. It couldn't have happened any other way. But now, now I'm seeing a rewriting of that history, a denial of the past. The model that was used in that creation is being modified, changed to suit the current agenda and narrative. The very idea that there are Americans is being challenged. You hear many hypenated Americans but few straight up claims to being an American! I'm an American born and bred and I am not ashamed, afraid, or hesitant to say so. The color of my skin or my economic standing has nothing to do with that! 

  You know there are days when I feel like I'm watching the end of the parade and I know why. What's usually at the end of the parade? The horses are, and for good reason. What do they leave behind? Well I'm seeing an awful lot of that these days so I figure it must be the end of the parade! But the hope is it will get cleaned up. It's going to take some work, it's getting pretty deep. 

sorting it out

  I woke up to the news that Justice Ginsburg passed away. I have to say I didn't agree with her politics but she will be remembered as an icon. May she rest in peace. The rest is obvious enough, a seat on the court will have to be filled. I can see that as being quite the distraction for quite some time. It is not going to be a nomination, or a confirmation without controversy and much upheaval. I dread it, the whole process is going to be a circus. Politics in America today. Well, there's nothing to be done about it. 

 Today would have been my Dads 96th birthday. Hard to believe he's been gone thirty years now. He was only 66 when he passed, a life cut short. I figure something in heaven needed fixing and he was needed there. That's how I remember him, a man that could fix anything. His mechanical prowess was beyond reproach. Anyone that knew him was aware of that, a man of many talents indeed. At the age of 22 he was a flight engineer on B-24 bombers flying over the hump, as it was called, fighting the Japanese. It's often hard for us to remember that, 22 years old, fighting a war! When asked about that his response was always the same, a terrible thing war, but something that needed doing. 

 The weather has taken a turn toward the chilly side, cold almost. I had noticed the fall grass coming in and a greying of the sky. Fall is officially a few days away. The holidays are ahead but won't be the same this year. I can't really say why that is but it is a feeling I have. This year will be different. It is more than a change in the season, it is a larger change than that. It's a shift. A paradigm shift of some type. I don't know, it's just a feeling and it makes me uneasy. It isn't a feeling that moves me to action though, it is a feeling that leaves me questioning. It's a hesitation. Well, whatever is coming will come whether or not I give it approval. 

 Well I should get up from this keyboard and do something more constructive. I have a few little projects in mind. I should get started on them I suppose, although I am lacking in motivation at the moment. We had tried making other plans for today but Covid 19 ruined that. Amazing how many times that has interfered. I'm just in a mood I suppose, it happens to all of us. I feel like I should be doing something but don't know what that is. I'm not open to suggestions either. I'm sure you know what I mean. I just have to sort things out once again. Where to begin? Another cup of coffee should help. On second thought, maybe put on another pot.  

not their fault

  Victims and survivors. Seems like society today is dividing itself along those lines. Must be the new norm I keep hearing about. In reading comments left by others it is a common theme of defense. When called out or questioned about their choices that is becoming the go to explanation. They are either a victim of something or a survivor, although surviving what isn't always clear. That leaves me somewhere in the middle as I make no claims to either. I've had misfortunes, bad luck, and been taken advantage of. I wasn't born into wealth or fame. There have been opportunities missed and doors closed to me. I haven't been a victim however, not in the sense of some grievous injury, no it's just like the saying, *hit happens. And after that happens and I make it through I don't think of myself as a survivor, someone who made it through some monumental struggle to survive, to live! Nah, I just did the best I could at the time. Sometimes I had help, sometimes I had to go it alone. As far as surviving, Hank Williams taught me about that, we're not going to get out of this life alive, and that is just a simple fact. Get used to that idea.                                                                                                                                                             The thing about victims and survivors is both groups feel entitled. The victims feeling they should be compensated in some fashion, and the survivors, rewarded. Well, the fact of the matter is you pretty much get what you earn this world. That has little to do with what you feel you deserve. Understanding that is the first step to finding that elusive state we call happiness. If you go through life expecting others to give you what you feel you deserve, you'll be disappointed. It's also true if you expect to be compensated or rewarded according to your own measure. Ever hear of a victim feeling they were adequately compensated? No, they may claim to be a survivor though, isn't that strange? It's how it works though. And survivors are to be admired, praised and shown empathy for whatever they fell victim too.                                                                                                                                                       I just see all of that as a means of placing the blame. Unwilling or unable to take responsibility for their own actions, those folks need to blame someone or something. It's not my fault. That is where every victim and survivor begins the conversation. I was handed an injustice but I survived it. It was never any fault of theirs. They were either born into the situation or forced into the situation. Never is either action the result of their own choices. Hence they are either victims or survivors. Things happen or sometimes we are just plain unlucky. But I do believe the majority of the time,  whatever and wherever we find ourselves it is a result of our own actions. Might happen almost immediately, or take years but in the end we are subject to the choices we made. I can't place blame for that on anyone but myself. If I allowed myself to be persuaded, allowed myself to be convinced, or allowed myself to justify some bad decisions, that's on me, no one else. I'm not saying I'm always happy with myself, always satisfied that I did my best, but I'm not blaming anyone or anything. I do not expect compensation or reward. I do expect to get what I earned. What that is I negotiate in advance when it comes to monetary compensation. As for personal compensation you have to take what you get. You don't get to define that. That's the part about understanding your worth. Your idea of that, and others idea of that, are most often at odds with one another. You have to remember, to understand, you set your worth, not others. Do not compare that to what others may tell you to the contrary. That's what these victims and survivors are doing. They are trying to convince you that they are exceptions and should receive special treatment. The objective being a gain for themselves! They will even try to make you feel inferior to them unless you give them that recognition! Victims and survivors. Not their fault.  

what it is

  Look, I just gotta say it, we need to start calling things what they are. Lately some have taken to calling looting and riots, protesting. They are not, it is looting and rioting! I've been talking about this for a while. I think for me it first started when they tried to call abortion, health care. Health care is not killing babies! It is first degree, premeditated murder, that's what it is. You can add all the what ifs' and butts' you like, it doesn't change the procedure, the actual act being performed. It is premeditated, indeed a scheduled event, the termination of a life, an execution. That's what it is. Now I keep hearing "peaceful protests" to describe the burning, looting and destruction of property. Attorney General Barr has suggested those engaging in such should be charged with sedition. I agree. Sedition is conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state. I'd say burning down police stations qualify. But I'm hearing some, like the New York Times, trying to defend that as "peaceful protests." No, it's sedition!                                                                                                                                                         We hear a lot about racism. What is racism? It is the belief that peoples behaviors are determined by their racial identity. What it really is, is perception. Cultural perception to be more precise. All white people are like this and all black people are like that and Asians are like this, etc. It's all about culture and perception. What we are seeing in America today isn't racism, it is perception. Some is right, some is completely wrong. What is at the heart of it all?  Correcting economic disparity is often cited as the remedy. If we spend enough money, distribute enough money, racism will just disappear. Is that correct? That is what is being promoted. But if that where the case, if everyone that feels they are economically disadvantaged regardless of their racial identity, where given more money would that erase feelings?          No, it would not. What it would do, given time, is change culture. Cultural perceptions would most certainly change, but not right away, it would take several generations. The reason is obvious enough if you just think about it for a minute. Given money today would you change your habits, you likes and dislikes overnight? Like winning the lottery would that really change who you are? Statistics suggest that wouldn't be the case, as 70% of those winning the lottery go broke. Why? Because they just indulge their every want, they live to excess. Take a look at the celebrities and sports figures as examples. What perception do we little people have of them and their lifestyle? What is the remedy?                                   Does racism exist? Of course it does and it always will. Why, because you can't really change what people see. When people see something, anything, that is different there will be a judgement made. That judgement will hinge upon past experiences, or if there is no past experience at all, upon the individuals temperament. We all have a natural instinct to survive. That survival is based on determining the threat posed. It's the response some people have to something as innocuous as a clown. Small children are often scared by those. It is just the perception of danger. The image we present reinforces perception. It makes no difference what race you are in that regard. If you see a man dressed as a cowboy you will make certain assumptions based on that. Will it make a difference if he is white, black or something else? No, not really, he will still be viewed as a cowboy. If you see someone dressed like a hard core biker does the color of their skin matter? You see two men, one is in a suit and tie and the other is wearing gang attire, which one do you approach? Depends upon how you are dressed doesn't it? Yeah, birds of a feather and all that. Same as racism, a belief based in perception.                                                  Now I mention all of that because of another perception, in actuality a misconception about these rioters and looters. They are not all black people. Yet, that is the perception most people have and I have to ask why that is? Is that due to racism? The easy answer is yes, that's the only reason for that. But that isn't the truth of the matter at all. You have this organization, it's nothing new, it's been around awhile, about five years or so. It was founded by three women. It is a globally recognized organization. Black Lives Matter. Now whether you agree with their agenda or not isn't the question here. It was founded and organized in the hope of achieving racial equality and justice. But today, that organization has been highjacked. It has been hijacked by those that would use the power of that organization for personal gain. Let's go to the obvious hijackers, white people. Yes, those white people that have joined in with the rioting, the looting, the destruction of property, standing in solidarity. Why are they there? Many are being paid to be there. Also the reason they are being bailed out of jail. When this passes, and it will pass, will they still be there, standing with their black brothers? History would suggest otherwise, they will scatter like seeds in the wind. But the objective will have been met, Black Lives Matter is now associated with lawlessness! The real question to be answered is, who is behind all of this? Who stands to gain from the destruction of Black Lives Matter? Who wants to grab power, at any cost, and impose their will upon the people? As strange as it seems it is people that hold the same ideology as Black Lives Matter. Both are avowed Marxists! Yes, the agenda of Black Lives Matter is Marxism for the United States of America. That's what their founding members say and I can only take their word for it. I will say I support our Republic and don't want anything to do with Marxism regardless of your race, creed, or nationality.                                                                                                                                                       I will leave it at that. Black Lives Matter has a stated goal of achieving a Marxist state. That is the end game here. You can call it by many names, describe it in many different fashions. But call it what it is, a political movement. Marxism is communism. Karl Marx said: The theory of communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all private property. The truth is, Black Lives Matter has little to do with Black Lives and everything to do with a political movement. It really doesn't matter what color your skin is when it comes to Marxism. Do Black Lives Matter? Yes, of course they do. The question really should be, do Black Lives support communism? The rest of it is all a distraction, a means to a end. Wake up people.   

the truth of it

 Ninety one years ago today my mother was born. She is the last of ten children my grandmother Bennett had. On the very same day my mom's eldest sister, Edith, gave birth to a son. So Grandmother Bennett became Grandmother Bennett the day my mom was born. My mother was born an aunt! Mom is now living in Georgia with brother Dan and I'll be calling her later on today. A lot sure has taken place since her birth. I ask her about all of that and sometimes she likes to talk, at others, I think she just likes to keep it to herself. All those changes surely must create confusion at times, I know they do for me and I'm only 67. She is the last one standing as the saying goes. And by her own admission she doesn't know all the children, grandchildren, great grands, and others that are out there somewhere. How many must she be aunt, or great aunt too? How many stories has she not heard? Nine decades of living.
 I woke up with that on my mind. As long as she has been around she still only knows her part of the story. It's that way with all of us. I'm certain there are parts she will never tell, I have parts I leave out as well. But I believe the things we are willing to share will vary over the years. Over time we will let go of some things, accepting the fact that we are human after all and prone to making mistakes. Still we all build a façade around ourselves and protect that as best we can. It's not a bad thing, not everything need be shown. I do believe there are things that should remain between you and your god. You are the only ones that understand the full context, explaining it to others can be futile at times. We are the caretakers of our memories, no one else has that authority. I have thought of that over the years. I would write all my secrets down if there were some assurance, some guarantee, that no one that had known me personally would ever read them. If they did that would tarnish the façade? No, only through the impartiality of anonymity could such secrets be revealed. And that really isn't impartial as a judgement about your character will be rendered based on those secrets. Disgraced? That is what most people will think. It happens all the time when we find out something about those we admired, or are related to in some fashion, no matter how remote. Well, that is unless enough time has elapsed then it may be alright. We will associate ourselves with someone of fame, or infamy, given enough time.
 I was just thinking I have known my mother for 67 years and there is much I don't know. There is much she doesn't know about me too. It's an amazing thing really how we can live in a little world of our own, only allowing others a glimpse every now and again. It's true some are far more open than others. although only they know the degree to which that really is. Truth is an elusive thing, where does the truth lie? I believe it is somewhere between life and death. Some find it early, others late, some not at all. The truth is found within ourselves, within our memories. I'm thinking not all truth  needs to be shared. We should hold onto some truth, keep it all to ourselves. Happiness resides in the acceptance of truth. I guess Mom being 91 today has just made me think a little more about that sort of stuff. I do wonder what her truth is, and if she will ever share that. I wonder too if she already has and I just wasn't listening. Have I been paying attention?
 Well whatever the case is I wish her a Happy Birthday and am thankful that I can. She was born in 1929, I was born in 1953, and here we are in the 21st century together. I had hoped to go visit with her for her birthday this year but that's not happening. Coronavirus! A pandemic. Well there will be next year, another year always comes we just don't know what it will bring with it. Hopefully it brings both of us along for the ride. But you never know, and that is the truth of it.

take a closer look

 At what point does protest turn to insurrection? That is a question we are facing at this very moment. Insurrection is defined as: a violent uprising against an authority or government. In my opinion we are certainly seeing violent uprisings against authority, namely against law enforcement. The cry is against police brutality. This brutality is being directed at one group, at least that is the narrative. To be specific the cry is the police are shooting black people due to racism. Without getting into the whole thing, the actual numbers do not support that at all. The truth is more white people are shot and killed by the police than any other group. But perception is a powerful thing and that is the perception. A perception that is being bolstered by the main stream media on almost an hourly basis. And furthermore, violent protests (riots) are being excused by that same media. They will not call it by its' name, which is, insurrection. We have political candidates publicly saying this will continue, and that it should continue. Well, that it should continue as long as the current administration is in office. Although I haven't heard anyone explaining how they will "fix" the problem. The only thing I'm hearing is that the law shouldn't be enforced. That is to say, let the people riot! Any attempt to quell this insurrection will be met with more violence, more riots, indeed with a "civil" war. 

 Now I can certainly understand the outrage and the anger against a group that is perceived to be targeting specific individuals. Still, we have to understand that it is a perception, not necessarily the reality. As I pointed out, the actual numbers belie that story. But even if they did support that narrative what is the cure? We have to identify the issue first. What is the issue? Systemic Racism is the response I'm hearing. As though that is some prerequisite to becoming a police officer, you have to be racist or at a minimum, allow that racism to exist as part of the organization. Finding the actual number of minorities represented in law enforcement is a difficult process. I took a quick look at that and quickly realized there appears to be no consensus. But I don't believe those minorities, regardless of number, would just blindly go along with that. So, my feeling is this; there is no systemic racism present in the police department. There are those that hold racist views that are police officers. There are people that hold racist views in every profession, every walk of life. And, I should point out, racists come in all colors! Never have I heard that a black police officer shooting a white suspect has been accused of doing so for racial reasons. Yes, black police officers shoot white suspects. Interesting to note is that black unarmed suspects are far more likely to be shot by a black officer than a white one. Just a statistical fact, nothing more. So, how do we fix this? Is it by defunding the police department? Or do we just ask the question before hiring, are you a racist? 

 What I'm talking about here are perceptions. Perception is not only what we see but what we are told. The evening news certainly gives us a perspective of the world outside our own. I've never been to Portland but I have a perception of that city now, and it isn't a good one. Then there is a matter of trusting what we do see. There are some that complain mightily about that, how wrong that is. When it comes to policing they call it profiling. And that is a bad thing. It's a good thing if you are trying to figure out who a serial killer is, but a bad thing to do when you see someone on the street. Just because they look the part, doesn't mean it's their character. I said that in this fashion, " do not project an image and then complain about what people see" and I believe that is a portion of the problem. But you created a perception and it's real to me. Is it real? I don't know, I can only go on what I see. 

 I have no answers for this, any of it. I only know how human beings are, I know because I'm one of them. I've been around a while in many different situations. Far from isolated in my little corner of the world I have been out there. I'm no different than anyone else, I react to what I see and hear. I have been misled, deceived and just plain wrong. I've also been 100% correct in my assessment. Experience helps in that area. But I have no answer. How do you stop racism? Isn't that what these "protests" are supposed to be about? We will protest until you stop being a racist! And how will you know that? Is it when you can do whatever you like, whenever, and to whoever you like unquestioned, unimpeded, and without accountability? Is that the proof? If these protests aren't about racism what are they about? Nothing can or will change racism! It is an individual thing and can only be resolved individually. You can't "defund" it. You can't "make it illegal". You can't just say, "it's wrong" and everyone agrees and just forgets about that. You can't do it by burning, looting, destroying property and lives. You can't win that in a war! 

 I just want to know. What is the end game here? What is going to be accomplished by insurrection? If racism is the issue will that be defeated? Racism may very well be the motivation, but what I'm interested in is the product. What will be gained? It is really as I have said a few times in the past," emotions are great motivators, seldom good guides. " Where are you going?  

a basic lesson

 I was remembering a time when my dog ran free. That was in rural America in the 1960's, that was my childhood. Well the part of childhood I recall the most anyway. Born in '53, mostly I recall '63 through '71. That's the time frame I think of as being a kid. Yes, and that is what was said and thought back in those days, I was just a kid. That changed when I joined the Navy and returned home following basic training. I wasn't a kid anymore, just like that, I was given credit for being a man, whatever that was supposed to mean. But I'm remembering my childhood and what that was really like back then. As I said, my dog ran free. Unrestrained he was free to come and go as he pleased. There was no one complaining about that, no ordinance, no permission required from government. I did have to buy a dog license. I figured that was his "drivers" license, his license to roam. There were plenty of hours when it was just me and my dog running, playing, exploring and just running free together.
 In a larger sense I am remembering when childhood was like that, not just for me, but all the other kids I grew up with. Yes our dogs ran free and so did we, to an extent. There were boundaries set, depending upon our maturity level and age. I do remember those boundaries expanding as I grew older. At first I wasn't to leave the yard. There was no fence, I wasn't under watch, I was just told what that limit was. It was my responsibility to obey those restrictions. Any infraction would be met with a tightening of the restrictions! I couldn't go outside at all! Over time I could roam the neighborhood, the woods behind my home, and eventually the entire town was open to me. All that was required of me was to be home "on time. " That meant suppertime, about 5 o'clock, unless I called and asked permission to do otherwise. Sometimes I would call, no one would answer, and that just meant, get home. No answering machine, no voice mail, none of that. If you didn't actually speak to a person on that phone, get your butt home!
 There were dangers out there in the world and I was aware of that. The biggest danger wasn't from strangers though, there weren't that many strangers around, the danger was in my own choices. I was expected to make good choices. Allowed to have a BB gun when I was ten or maybe younger, I was expected to use that responsibly. I had been taught basic gun safety. Never bring that BB gun in the house while it is loaded. Dad would pick it up and shake it sometimes just to see if you were paying attention. Don't point that gun at anything you don't intend to shoot! Don't run with it! And don't shoot at the birds. Violate any of those rules, the gun disappears never to be seen again. That happened to me just once after Mom saw me shooting at a Robin. Never saw that BB gun again. I did get another one at a later time. There was the ocean and the bay. Those bodies of water were a danger as well. Drowning was a real possibility it you were careless and did something stupid. I can't say I was aware of any of that at the time but now I realize what lesson I was taught. The biggest dangers in life hinge upon the choices you make. Freedom comes with responsibility. That was the lesson. Freedom was earned, not granted was another part of that. Demonstrate you can be trusted to make sound decisions and you will be rewarded. One mistake could set you back a few days or a few weeks. We called that being grounded. No longer could you fly free. Happened to me a few times, for being stupid. It was lessons in risk and reward. Didn't take me that long to figure out that some things, even when being called names, just weren't worth the risk. What's a matter, you chicken? I'd answer, no I'm not a chicken, I'm smarter than that. Wasn't always true though, sometimes I was as dumb as a chicken.
 I wonder if there are any places in America like that anymore? Surely there must be areas where that lifestyle continues. Perhaps it is out in the midwest, I've never been there. Generations living on the farm? Is that just a television story or do they really exist. According to the main stream media all that is disappearing, but I wonder. I am certain the things children are exposed to these days far exceed what I was exposed too. Many subjects just weren't talked about at all. I don't think that is a bad thing, although the narrative today is quite the opposite. Yeah, Dr. Spock, the baby doctor one, said don't spank your children. We are beginning to see how that worked out. He was talking about raising the generation now called baby boomers. A portion of those baby boomers became the hippies and freaks, those protesting the war, those dropping out and dropping in. I am a part of that generation although my parents were definitely not adherents to any Dr. Spock method of child rearing. I got spanked, I got yelled at, I got bullied and cajoled! I also had a wonderful childhood. I wasn't protesting anything having learned you pretty much get what you earn. Complaining about things didn't get you much.
 Every generation wants better for their children. That's a given. The further we get from our childhood, the more we travel forward, the more we look back. Then we want to bring back that childhood, and give it to our own children, but better. We begin to eliminate those things that caused us trouble. I believe we all do that to a degree. It's a balance between what you took from your childhood as valuable lessons and what you took as punishment. You want to pass the lessons on, not the punishment. Problem being, sometimes the punishment is the lesson. But I'm thinking an important lesson is being lost on todays children. That lesson is a basic one. Freedom is earned, not granted. 

in the pursuit

  Yesterday I posted what I call a "quote." These quotes are really just one liners I create every now and again to express what I'm thinking about. I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to call them pearls of wisdom, more like nuggets, chicken nuggets, not golden ones. But yesterday I said, "Do not project an image and then complain about what people see." That came to mind after talking to my wife a bit about current events and what's happening in the world in general. We were talking about all the "racist" accusations and rhetoric going on. I was saying that I don't believe there are many hard core racists in America. Yes, there are some that still hold prejudices against entire races of people based solely on their skin tone. It's difficult for me to grasp that concept but I'm aware that it is a thing, a learned reaction. As I said, a difficult thing for me to understand. But anyway, I do believe that the majority of us, and by us I mean people in general, human beings, react to what we perceive. Just as was told in the story of the Emperors new clothes, we are conditioned to react that way. It's also the reason we tend to fear what we don't understand and why we are leery of strangers. It is in that I made that quote, "do not project an image and then complain about what people see."                                                                                                       When we see others, the way they are dressed, we begin to make judgements about them. Yes, you do. Anyone trying to tell me otherwise I will not believe. You do. When that person speaks, the language they use, you begin to judge them further. Yes, you do. That's how people interact with one another. Their physical appearance is what we see first. An obvious statement wouldn't you say? Yes, it is obvious and anyone trying to deny they make a first judgement based on that is just not being truthful. The only one that wouldn't be, would be a blind person. It's human nature. Don't we all choose "fashion" that we believe will be appealing to others? Yes, we do. It is a balance between what we personally like and what what we believe others will perceive us to be. Each of us develop our own costume(s) based on any number of factors. Costumes and culture go hand in hand. What is the American costume? I'd have to say it was the Cowboy look. Isn't that the quintessential outfit that would get you immediately identified as an American? I can tell you this much, the United States Navy thought so. When we were given "liberty" to go ashore in foreign lands, if those foreign lands weren't all that hyped up about Americans, we were instructed to, try not to look American. No cowboy hats, boots, or jeans. Those were considered obvious give a ways. The color of your skin wasn't an issue when it came to that, just the way you dressed. You could make yourself a target by looking, American. Didn't have anything to do with race, rather nationality.                                                                                                                              So yesterday with that little quote I am trying to say just that. Don't put on a costume, or act a part, and then complain about what people see. Really it is like the old saying, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck! Yes, it's a judgement call! Same with people. If you wear the costume you will be identified with the culture, as least initially you will be. Isn't that why you chose the costume in the first place? You want others to identify you in that way. That's what fashion is all about. When we make a fashion statement we want to draw attention to ourselves. We want to say, in a visual way, this is me. The expectation is others will judge you based on that fashion statement. That's why I say, don't complain when others do that. I know, it is all just so obvious.                                            What I'm talking about is cultural identity. But what about societal identity? How do we identify ourselves within the society? Do we even get a choice in that? No, I don't believe we do. We are born into a society, at a certain level. We don't have a choice about that. In America the promise is that we can change that position in society. How? By doing the right things, making the right choices, by work, and to a certain degree luck. Independence is the watchword! Independence does mean, on your own. If you are expecting others to help, others to give you anything, you are not independent. You are, in fact, dependent. A society where everyone is equal, everyone born into the same circumstance, same societal position, does not exist in the world, never has, never will. It is a dream all in itself. Utopia is the word for that and it doesn't exist. Those wishing to control the society will promise you that, until they gain power. It is those people that will insist there shouldn't be classes. Everyone will be treated equally if only you grant them that power. You won't have to work for that, it will be granted. Then they become the ruling class and you become dependent upon them. You have surrendered your independence so you can be as deprived as everyone else. Everyone is equal alright, equally oppressed by the ruling class. In order to maintain a society you must have a common culture. What we are experiencing today is a cultural identity problem, that is creating chaos in the society. In America we should all try to act like Americans! Americans know that only hard work, preservice, and a belief in a higher power than themselves will bring true happiness to themselves and their progeny! Americans are engaged in the pursuit of Happiness. What does that mean? It means you are free to pursue your interests, to live your life the way you want,  within the bounds of the society. In America those boundaries were first delineated in the Declaration of Independence. They haven't changed. 

as we live it

  Perhaps the greatest gift one can give another person is a memory. We all want to be remembered in one way or another. We will be remembered by what we leave behind. The Egyptians built pyramids, left behind and certainly remembered. But the vast majority of physical and material things disappear with time. In fact there is a whole field of study devoted to finding those things again, it's called archeology. But memories, memories they say can last forever. The truth is they only last as long as the person carrying that memory, a memory is always in the first person. When they are otherwise, they are called stories. One of the reasons I write these memories of mine. The number of people I have first person memories with, as far as my childhood days, grow fewer each passing year. My youth is slowly turning into a story to be told by someone else. The biggest hope is that there will be someone left that cares enough to repeat those stories. That is what we call, legacy. It is what we left behind. And for many of us, I believe the majority in fact, it is also our heritage. My stories, a few dusty artifacts, and a collection of old photographs will be the inheritance of future generations, unless of course, I win the lottery.                                                                                                                                                           It is my feeling that my heritage has been left behind. That process began in 1971 when I stepped aboard that Long Island railroad train, heading west , to Ft. Hamilton in New York City. I was bound for the Navy, a destination that eventually wound up as a career. What I didn't realize was I was leaving my youth behind, the place of my inheritance becoming just a memory for me, stories to tell to others. My wife, my children, and whatever friends and acquaintances I enjoy these days know little of that time in my life. They only know what they have been told by me and a few brief encounters with my family. Heritage is the traditions, customs, and valued objects passed down from previous generations. But personal heritage is a bit more defined than that. That heritage is your memories, even when those memories have been polished with time to assume a luster they never really had. It is that heritage that we all wish to pass down.                                                                                                                                  It is what has been called the roots of our raising. For me, my parents were raised in the same town where they were born, their parents before them where born there as well. There were roots there that could be followed and could lead you to an actual living person. Cousins, second cousins, in-laws and all the other branches were there. It wasn't that my parents followed any of those branches, but they were there. It was just a sense of belonging there. And then I left. I can't help but wonder about the heritage I have provided for my own children. When they were little we moved around, military brats they call them. Truth is they never lived on a Navy base, or any military base for that matter. They knew my job was, in the Navy, but I don't think it effected them all that much. I would be gone for months on end though, so it must have had some influence. Along about 1988 or so, the years escape me now, I moved them to Greensboro, Md. I had gotten assigned to a ship in Earle, New Jersey. Now being a boy from Long Island I had prejudices against New Jersey. The people there can't drive a car worth a crap and they are all rude people, and the crime, the crime in New Jersey is horrible. I knew I would be going to sea and so having them living in New Jersey was out of the question. My wife knew of the "eastern shore" of Maryland. We left the kids with her sister while we went and explored the area. I was immediately reminded of my own hometown without the beaches or the high cost of housing. We discovered Greensboro, population 2000, one stop light and an IGA. Seemed perfect and we have been here ever since. So I'd have to say that is the heritage my boys carry with them, although I have never asked. One son found his love on the internet and moved to upstate New York where he lives today. His brother is still here, the Mayor of Greensboro! And there is a story to tell. I would never have dreamed I would leave home only to bring Greensboro Maryland a new Mayor. It's been quite a winding road, as the Beatles may describe it.                                                                                                                                    Now the grandkids are beginning their journeys. Mark is already off to college, living on his own in an apartment in Reistertown, Maryland. His own address, a milestone not unnoticed by myself. Morgan a senior this year and making her plans for college. Anxious to get out in the world and leave childhood behind. I remember the feeling. I have been blessed and fortunate indeed to have had both of them right here with me in Greensboro. Greensboro is there beginning and Grandpa has always been here! That will be their memory of growing up. My other granddaughter Shyann is also a senior this year. She hasn't shared her plans for the future just yet. But she lives in Oneonta New York a far larger city than Greensboro and I'm certain full of opportunities. She may very well remain there. Mark, I fear, will be forced by economics to leave Greensboro. Just as it was in the town I lived in as a child there isn't much opportunity for employment. You do have to look elsewhere. Morgan will face the same dilemma. As for me, I talk often of moving and perhaps I will one day. I severed my roots in 1971. It's not a bad thing or a good thing, it's just a thing. Something we call life. It's just life as we live it. It's best to go one day at a time, that's my experience.                       

the futility of history

 Nineteen years ago and it seems like yesterday. I remember all too well getting a phone call from my wife telling me of what had happened. I had to wait until lunch time to come home and see the news. There was some talk around work but in 2001 there was no smart phones, no social media. No one was getting real time updates, pictures or live streaming anything. So, it was continue working as usual, as we didn't know the full impact. I'm quite certain the response in the workplace would be a great deal different today. I'm as equally certain the response would be quite a bit different as well. Hard to believe it has been nineteen years, and harder still to see the state our country is in, politically speaking that is.
 I don't want to dwell on that this morning. I did go to dinner last night with my son and daughter in law. It was different for a couple of reasons. First off, it's the first time we have gone out since this plandemic disrupted our lives. We did get to eat inside, with social distancing from other diners of course. It did seem a bit strange and all the food was served on disposable products. But it was nice to get out. It was also the first time I can remember going out to dinner with my son and daughter in law without the grandkids being there. Mark is off to college and Morgan, now a senior in high school, had other plans. I joked with my son about getting used to this, now it will be just us old folks. I wondered if we shouldn't have tried to catch the "early bird" special for dinner.
 The restaurant had the radio playing in the background, a little loud for all of us, and it was playing the current version of country music. I remarked to my son how I didn't really listen to the modern country and wondered about any new stars. Last I recall it was Zac Brown. I have no idea who is the popular band, guy, girl, or whatever combination they may have. Well I guess the best part is you don't have to ask, all these people will tell you their "affiliation" quickly enough. But, he listens to talk radio most of the time and had no idea either. When I told him I listened to the oldies station he remarked, those songs aren't that old, they are from the 1980's. My response to him was, 1980 was forty years ago! Yeah, you are getting old too. LOL, he did get a look on his face when I pointed that out and that his daughter will be 18 in eleven days. So, we changed the subject and started making plans for another get together, something for us old folks to do. We decided on taking a ferry ride across the Delaware bay. We can go as walk on passengers, a lot cheaper than taking the car, have lunch at the terminal in New Jersey, and then just ride back. It's an enjoyable few hours out on the bay without the expense of owning a boat.
 I did wake up with all these thoughts in my mind. Nineteen years and so many changes. I did remember when my grandson told me his history class was harder than mine. He explained how much more history he had to learn than I did! Yeah well, I do remember when Kennedy was shot and to him that was a long time ago. It was, in fact, a different century! Think about that for a minute or two. My grandchildren were all born in the 21st century. Remember when you saw that logo, 20th Century Fox. Well, it's still called 20th Century Fox although the company that owns it is officially named 21st Century Fox. That happened back in 2013, but who knew? Disney owns the company now. And Fox means news, well depending on who you are talking to anyway.
 There are 111 days between September 11 and December 31st. Those days will be filled with politics and holidays. And not necessarily in that order. There are eleven days until my granddaughters' birthday, as I mentioned, her 18th. Many of us are anxious for this year to be over, 2020 has certainly been memorable so far, for all the wrong reasons. You know they say hindsight is 2020. I'll be one of those happy when that is true. In watching the television program 2020 that doesn't appear to be what they are doing. Last time I watched their vision was certainly different than mine, at least as to the cause and effect of current events. Well, all things change over time. But 9/11/01 will remain with me as a focal point, a turning point in history,  my Pearl harbor. I haven't forgotten, Those attacks will remain as a generational event, like a Pearl harbor. As the years go on the view will change with those that don't remember the event first hand. It has begun already if you listen carefully. Indeed look at who is being elected to office! In 1972, just 27 years after the surrender of the Japanese the Democratic party named Patsy Mink, a Japanese-American, for president of the United States! I recall many WW2 vets being quite upset by that! I was nineteen years old in 1972 and Pearl harbor did seem like a long time ago to me. But, talking with these veterans I quickly realized that, to them, it may as well been yesterday. And now, now I've lived long enough to understand that, unfortunately I do understand that sentiment. And in that I also understand the futility of history. You have to live it to understand it.   

Time will tell

  I saw a bit of fall grass while cutting the lawn. It's the first sign of fall that I've noticed this year. Can the geese be far behind? I do enjoy the changing of the seasons although I don't always enjoy the seasons as much as I used to, still, it is a sign of all is well in the world. For me, climate change would be when the climate doesn't change. But I'm in a good mood this morning and will just leave that topic alone. I did see a few school buses out and about, another sign. I was reminded of all the years I would met the grandkids at the bus stop when they finished their days. Oh, those were good days for sure. Seems they always had something to tell, to share about the day. Yes there were days when they weren't too happy about those events as well, but left me amused anyway, even when I tried not to show that. Now Mark is off to college and Morgan is a senior driving herself to school, no picking her up at the bus stop, and the sharing is far more limited. So what is the fall season now? Preparing for the harshness of winter is the answer to that. Packing away the summer. And with all this coronavirus it hasn't been much of a summer. I haven't gone fishing, not even once. I could have just never got around to it. Something I have noticed, when you aren't in a hurry, time goes faster. It's a kind of cruel joke isn't it? You work to provide for yourself and raise a family. Then you look forward to retirement, you can just relax. And what happens? The clock speeds up and you are old, just like that! You're not so old you can't do stuff, just old enough to not be in a hurry and discover by not being in a hurry, you missed stuff. It's rather a paradox.    This isn't the first year for this scenario, but this is the first year it has become obvious. Once again I realize the "kids" have grown up. I had sorta forgotten about that. I mean my own children having been gone, raising their families and all. Of course I was still busy being busy those days. I wasn't really paying attention I guess. Then I had the grandkids that kept me distracted. I was still going to work, kids in school, and life continued on. Sure it was a limited thing as far as the kids went but that wasn't a bad thing. The grandkids are wonderful, not doubt about that, in fact had I known grandkids were that great I would have had them first! But now, now all that is past.                                                                               I guess some of this was brought on by my redecorating the bedroom. It was time for a fresh coat of paint and a bit of rearranging. It was taking all the pictures down that inspired this. I saw those fresh young faces in school pictures. The years printed in the corner of those pictures serving as a vehicle, was it really that long ago? It sure doesn't seem like it and I remember when they wore that particular outfit. Then picking and choosing what pictures to put back up, and what order to put them in. I have collected quite a number over the years, the walls were crowded with them. And not just photographs, no, there are the little things that wind up there over time. Construction paper cut-outs, little signs proclaiming the worlds greatest Grandpa, and dollar store figurines scattered about. I wouldn't call it clutter, rather collected memories. But it is time for a reset. A time to pick only the finest jewels to display and carefully pack the others away. Well, that's what grandparents do you know, grandparents are the keeper of memories. It is time, and time alone, that imparts meaning and sentiment into objects. The things that survive life and the living of it. The monetary value is not of importance, it is the sentiment that counts, a sentiment sealed with a memory.                                                                                                                 With the arrival of fall the holidays come to mind. They will soon be rushing at us all. Halloween has lost its' luster for me, no little children to be excited with. Halloween began losing that a few years back, when the safety concerns began to override the fun. And when the kids, even while trick or treating said, "that's enough" let's go home. When children tell you they have had enough fun, that means it wasn't that much fun to begin with. Thanksgiving will come and go in a huff. With family spread across the country like butter on bread their is no chance for us all to be together. That will have to relegated to those Hallmark movies. And Christmas, Christmas just isn't the same anymore, and for the same reason. We can't even be certain of seeing the grandkids on Christmas day this year. They have begun living independent lives. They have plans. And time goes on, ever faster it seems. You really do have to be "older" to understand that relationship. The thing that I find myself focusing on sometimes is the sudden stop! It isn't the stopping that worries me, it is packing for the journey. But I have decided it isn't what you take with you, it is what you leave behind. And what you leave behind only exists when the living hold onto that, and that is the concern. What part of me will survive? Will I hang on the wall, be tucked away in the attic, or just discarded completely? Only time will tell, I'll be listening.