Garfield

  Today being memorial day I am reminded of those that died in defending freedom. I recall my grandparents calling this decoration day. I also fondly remember the selling of those little cloth poppies. My Mom bought at least one every year. I had one for quite a few years but has been lost somewhere. I haven't seen anyone offering them in a few years. I'm quite certain if I were to go to a larger metropolis I could find them. When I was a kid they were mostly sold at the parade, Greensboro has no Memorial day parade. We don't even have a Veterans post anymore. But, all that being said, I have put up my bunting and my flag flies proudly from my porch. My porch being upstairs, on the second floor, whenever I put the bunting up I feel like giving a speech! And with that in mind I was thinking about the great patriotic speeches of the past. Seems like the those old orators spoke far better than what is offered today. Those folks stirred the soul! I have included on a few occasions, some of those in my blogs, especially James Garfield, 20th President of the United States, the last president born in a log cabin and the only president that was also an ordained minister. He was shot and killed in 1881. 

 I bring that up as a prelude to this observation of mine. I wanted to read his Decoration day speech at Arlington National Cemetery. On May 30,1868 he dedicated that ground. The thing is my memory isn't as great as I wished it was and I wanted to be sure I had the words right so to Google I went. I began typing in the search block, Garfield, and what pops up, a cartoon cat! Yes, Garfield the cat was the very first result. I can only assume that is the "predictive" function of Google. What that means is far more people have searched for Garfield the cat than they have for the twentieth president of the United States. That sheds a bit of light on the state of affairs in this country, at least, in my opinion it does. Several Presidents have not gone to Arlington on Memorial day. For various reasons Reagan, both Bush's, Obama, Eisenhower and Kennedy all missed the wreath laying ceremonies. Personally I find that there should be no reason they shouldn't be there! Memorial Day is no ordinary holiday, no celebration, it is a solemn occasion and should be given its' just reverence. 

 I continued to type in the information I was looking for. I have copied a portion of President Garfields' address and include it here for you to read. The actual speech is quite a bit longer, as politicians do have a way of expounding on a theme, but this is my favorite part. I hope you take the time to read these words. I find myself totally inadequate to the task of penning any such words. President Garfield however was not. 

 I am oppressed with a sense of the impropriety of uttering words on this occasion. If silence is ever golden, it must be here, beside the graves of fifteen thousand men, whose lives were more significant than speech, and whose death was a poem, the music of which can never be sung. With words we make promises, plight faith, praise virtue. Promises may not be kept, plighted faith may be broken, and vaunted virtue be only the cunning mask of vice. We do not know one promise these men made, one pledge they gave, one word they spoke: but we do know they summed up and perfected, by one supreme act, the highest virtues of men and citizens. For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue.

Today there are over 400,000 graves in Arlington! 

what is says

  I heard a new term yesterday being bantered about. Generational Trauma! Yes, if something bad happened to one of your ancestors, or they witnessed something bad, and were traumatized, you may have inherited that trauma. Generation after generation being effected. Makes sense I guess, that why some people are afraid of the Ocean their ancestors traumatized by the flood! Things is, in those discussions it was being promoted that the only cure for generational trauma is reparations, to make you whole again. Well, it will somehow make your ancestors from generations back whole and so by extension you will be whole as well. 

 That was interesting to me as a Pastor of a church was expounding that theory. I wanted to ask the Pastor if he had read the Bible, the part about the sins of the fathers. Now, I'm no expert in Biblical passages, certainly no theologian, but my understanding of that is, I'm responsible for me. I am not responsible for whatever happened in the past, I'm responsible for what is happening today. It just seems like this generational trauma diagnosis is simply a path to get something for nothing. To be compensated for something that didn't happen to you, in fact, something that happened several generations back. The objective certainly isn't to erase that which took place in the past, I'm certain that tool will remain in the toolbox for future use, but to somehow qualify for property, or money based solely on past events.

 To me all of that is just a search for excuses. I haven't obtained what I want so I need to blame someone else. Why not blame those that can't contradict me, you know, those that are passed. they surely can't testify to the contrary. They may get to vote but they can't speak out anyway! So all that is necessary is to discover some traumatic event from generations past and blame my present day shortcomings and failures on that. It isn't my fault, I am traumatized! At least I became traumatized the second I found out the trauma an ancestor of mine suffered through. A generational transference of trauma. I should be compensated for that. 

, “Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. But each one shall die for his own sin.”  

That's what my Bible says. 

    

as I remember

  I had taken a bit of a nap yesterday on the couch. Well, to be truthful. I do that most days. But anyway afterwards my wife goes over there to straighten the pillows, I don't quite understand the significance of pillows to women but do know they have to be arranged in a certain fashion. Must be something they were taught when they had those "girl" only sessions in the school gym, the one Mom had to take my sister to. So in doing that she finds some change. She exclaims , I found some money! It reminded me of when I was a kid. Finding change in my fathers' recliner or the cushion of the couch was my go fund me account. That was the first place to check when you needed some funds. Now remember, at that time I could still go to the corner store and get penny candy. And yes, it did cost a penny! A quarter got you quite the haul. 

 Now you had to wait until Dad wasn't around, safely away. When he went to the restroom was the optimal time, you had time. We didn't call the bathroom the library without reason. It was time enough to dig deep into that recliner or the cushions on the couch. Mom could be a problem, depending upon her mood. She may make you return that change. At other times she may say something like, I see you want to help clean, that's great, you can start with your room. So, it was best to be sure the coast was clear. Sure you could just ask but the answer was usually, money don't grow on trees you know? Yeah, I knew that. I also knew that Dads wallet was like fort knox! The vault doesn't get opened very often. There was some serious security involved there, don't even think about it. Same thing with my Mothers purse! To do this day if my own wife says, it's in my purse, I'm about as anxious to put my hand in there as I am to put it in a bear trap! No thanks, I'll bring it to you.

 Bottles found on the roadside were another revenue source. Two cents for the little ones and a nickel for the big ones. I would just walk the roads and search them out, money didn't grow on trees that was certain, but could be found in the ditch. I recall a few times when we returned the same bottles more than once. Here's how that went. You would take your bottles to Warrens garage for the refund. Now he put those bottles in those wooden crates that sat beside the coke machine. So, he would say come inside and I'll get your money. While you went inside to collect that your accomplice would lift a few bottles and go down the street. If you waited a while you just return those bottles claiming you found them on the road. Just took patience. Looking back I expect he knew all about it but let it slide. He was a nice man. Another option was to check the coin returns in the phone booths. Found change in there more than once I can tell you that. 

 If all of that failed to produce some funds charity wasn't out of the question. My Aunt Betty lived half way between my house and the corner store. You could always stop and visit, you know, for no reason, just because you love and admire her so much. She loved to play her electric organ and if you asked her she would. She would stop doing her housework to oblige us. My sister and I soon discovered you could get 50 cents or a dollar just for listening, if you were appreciative. After a few songs we would say how Mom was waiting for us to bring the stuff back from the store. We would love to stay and listen more but we just couldn't. She gave us each a little something, to cheer us up. Worked every time. Our Aunt Roz, although a mile or more away up the highway was always good for a dollar. We would see her as we just happened to be passing by. The very last resort was Grandmother Bennett. With her you had to come right out and ask. We didn't like doing that. It wasn't that she was mean, or would say anything, but it just felt like it was more of a burden on her. I guess we thought she was poor. Just not so poor she couldn't fund us when the need arose. Like when we wanted to go to the 5&10 cent store uptown. 

 It's funny how memories get triggered at times. Something as common as taking a nap on the couch. My wife finding a penny, I think that is what she said, bringing all that back. Good memories, warm memories, of a time long ago. I was reminded of all that and the people involved. Most of those folks are passed now and I'm left with their memories. I experience that again whenever that happens. It's like a surprise view on a walk, you turn the corner, or top out on a rise, and there it is before you. A welcoming. 

 Growing up in the country where I did you could say I didn't have street smarts, I knew little of the big world outside mine. But I did learn about people, how to interact with them on a personal level. It wasn't a matter of being tough, it was a matter of being genuine. Well, convincing them you were genuine anyway. In the country we called it, savvy. That's what they always said in the movies. We did operate within set boundaries, you didn't exceed those boundaries without paying a price. That was the unspoken lesson. Character was the measure of the man. I grew up with a lot of characters. And most, if not all, were of the finest kind. That's what we used to say about those we admired, respected and loved, they are of the finest kind. And finding change in Dads' recliner was one of life's little joys back then. You know, looking back, I'm not convinced that it was always accidental though. Dad wasn't known for open shows of affection, he was manly, know what I mean? But I'm thinking he just may have "lost" a quarter every now and again. Sometimes, memories are just whatever you make them.   

the answer

 This morning my thoughts are preoccupied. A lot has happened in the last few weeks, a lot to process. The problem being, these thoughts are private ones. The answers to the questions must satisfy myself and no one else. Other people's answer are no help. I suppose that is why people seek a counselor or a bartender. The importance being in privacy. It does help to speak your thoughts out loud. That's what poetry and music is all about, the public expression of private thoughts. Often times it isn't that you don't have someone to talk to, it is having someone that will listen. Well, listen without commenting that is. The listener does feel an obligation in that regard is my feeling, I know I do. But then again I am one that has an opinion on just about everything, as is pointed out to me; often. It's a question of understanding. Whether it is a matter of the listener understanding your thoughts, or you yourself understanding your thoughts, it is a matter of understanding. And some things are harder to understand than others. It isn't always cause and effect. There are times when it just is.

 My mother would often say, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. That advice was offered as a method to prevent conflicts. It's good advice, but accomplishes nothing. I didn't understand that fully as a child but grew to gain a new understanding of just what she meant. When  saying something will not accomplish a thing it is best to remain silent. The struggle is in convincing ourselves that nothing can be done about it. It's a frustration. We may make ourselves feel a little better, getting something off our chest as the saying goes, but isn't that a selfish act? It is, when it does nothing more than that. When the outcome is nothing more than a self validation? It's anger misdirected. There are times when we are just angry at life itself. The healthy thing to do is acknowledge that although it surely isn't easy. 

 Well this too shall pass. No where are those words in the Bible, although many believe so. There are passages and verses that convey that idea, just not in so many words. But the truth of that simple statement can not de denied. This too shall pass, when something else takes it place. It's difficult but sometimes all we can do is, stay the course. That particular sentiment comes from my stoic New England background. It's a throwback to previous generations. In the past we didn't look for excuses, for someone to blame for misfortune, we just stayed the course. That's how Columbus made it to north america. He just stayed the course. 

 Now having written these few words I feel a little better. I have discovered that it is anger that preoccupies my thoughts this morning. These blog postings are a bit selfish when I think about it, they are more for me than anything else. But then maybe that is what happens to those that gain a measure of fame, they forget about that. It is my feeling that any creative work surely must be done for selfish reasons. It may be a stretch calling these blogs a creative work, but I do write them more to benefit myself than others. Certainly I hope others enjoy reading them. Even that is a little selfish isn't it? Seeking validation? I prefer to think of it as thoughts laid bare. It is sometimes uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes others uncomfortable as well. I do feel a little better now although I have to admit I don't like the answer. And that is the issue in a nutshell, I just don't like the answer. 

21

  Twenty one years ago today I went to a wedding. We welcomed a new daughter into our family. The happiness was mixed with parental concern, after all, this was a big deal. Maria was a beautiful bride and as it turned out, an even more beautiful daughter in law. Truly, she has become a daughter. Over the last twenty one years she has tolerated us, accepted us, and given us two wonderful grandchildren. She has accepted our son too. So this morning I am looking back over the last twenty one years, reviewing the memories and moments. They have gone far together and a new journey lies before them. Mark has already moved out, off to college, has an apartment of his own and is in a "relationship" as the kids today say. In just four days Morgan graduates high school. She had her last day in school, that came as a bit of a shock to read, all that remains of high school is the formalities. Off to Salisbury in the fall to study Social Work/Psychology. She intends to go out and save society, a lofty goal. And with that the bride and groom become true empty nesters. 

 A new chapter in life opens for them. A chapter they are entering with hopefully, a more refined maturity than the utopian dreams of youth. The road is never an easy one. On one hand it just doesn't seem like it was all that long ago. I think it is simply because we have been so closely involved with their lives. All the vacations, the Christmases, the milestones passed. Their marriage has been an extension of our lives and one that added much to our marriage and lives. And that is what family is all about. It's true it isn't like the family farm, it hasn't been a Hallmark movie, but it has been close. Attending that wedding I wasn't aware that a new life was beginning for me as well. The life of Grandpa. I enjoy the role and the responsibility. Grandchildren give you the chance for a do-over. An opportunity to correct the errors made, if nothing more, errors in your own mind. And now, twenty one years later another life present itself to me. 

 As an adult I was never able to be with my grandparents, they had all passed by that time. Time and circumstance prevented that. I find myself wishing that I could have known them, as people. Do you know what I mean? I wish I had known their adult thoughts, their fears, their sorrows, and their dreams. I'm excited to do all of that with my grandchildren. I'm excited to do that with my children as well. I'm not wanting to rush anything but it doesn't seem unrealistic anymore, this grandfather may be talking with another grandfather and grandmother. That could be the couple whose wedding I attended! Now there is an eye opener! But, let's not rush into anything. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And the truth is, all of this is about me. Those crazy kids. Happy Anniversary Kevin and Maria. 

unconscious influence

   I love to believe that no heroic sacrifice is ever lost; that the characters of men are molded and inspired by what their fathers have done; that treasured up in American souls are all the unconscious influences of the great deeds of the Anglo-Saxon race, from Agincourt to Bunker Hill. It was such an influence that led a young Greek, two thousand years ago, when musing on the battle of Marathon, to exclaim, “the trophies of Miltiades will not let me sleep!” Could these men be silent in 1861; these, whose ancestors had felt the inspiration of battle on every field where civilization had fought in the last thousand years? Read their answer in this green turf. Each for himself gathered up the cherished purposes of life—its aims and ambitions, its dearest affections—and flung all, with life itself, into the scale of battle.  

Those words are a portion of a speech given by James a Garfield. The speech was given at Arlington National Cemetery May 30, 1868. At that time Garfield was a Congressman from Ohio. He had fought in the Civil war attaining the rank of major General. Twice he distinguished himself in battle. The words he spoke came from experience and I believe from the heart. In 1880 he was elected president. He was a Republican. Upon assuming office their was friction among the Republican party, not unlike what we are seeing today. There were those expecting "favors" and special consideration for their support. That wasn't limited to just those in office at the time but to civilian supporters as well. Just four months into his administration he was shot, by an insane man that was disgruntled because he hadn't been given a position. After being captured and interviewed this man stated he thought his action would, unite the republican party. 

 I include that bit of history for background. Not much changes in the world of politics, or war. That is just one paragraph from that speech. In reading it these words jumped out at me, " that treasured up in American souls are all the unconscious influences of the great deeds of the Anglo-Saxon race." Given todays rhetoric and the ongoing narrative about the Anglo-Saxon people: think white people: I couldn't help but think what would be said about that speech if it were given today. Gail King and her ilk would have a field day. But what they, and others would not understand about that, is what exactly Garfield was talking about. Garfield was talking about doing what was right.

 In our founding documents it is declared that all men are created equal. Garfield was in support of that. Remember Garfield was a General in the Union forces fighting to preserve the Republic. That was the true reason for the war, not any attempt to preserve slavery. Slavery had been declared an immoral , unjust, and abhorrent institution from the very beginning! Yes it was southern Democrats that pressed the issue to the point of all out war. Still for the first two years of that war the goal was to preserve the union above all else. Compromise was offered but rejected at every turn. After all other means had been exhausted, thousands of lives lost, it was decided. Their would be no peace, no end to the war until the south surrendered unconditionally. Slavery would be abolished forever! That "unconscious influence of the great deeds of the Anglo-Saxon race" had manifested itself! Freedom was at hand, at all cost. That is what Garfield was talking about. He was honoring all those laid to rest at Arlington, and around the nation, not just Anglo-Saxons.

 Garfield in his speech was not attempting to place the Anglo-Saxon race above any other. He was speaking on historical context. He was speaking of lessons learned from history. That the United States had been founded by Anglo-Saxons is not a point of contention, it is a point in fact. That the land was taken by conquest is indisputable. We must remember in 1880 sensibilities were quite a bit different, but history was not. History was unchanged then just as it is today. There is no shame in acknowledging the accomplishments of your race. Notice Garfield said, Anglo-Saxons, not white people. Anglo-Saxons come from England, the British Empire. They are comprised of many ethnic groups that came together and assimilated into what Garfield and less frequently these days, we call Anglo-Saxons. 

 And so on Memorial Day we will remember all those that lost their lives in defense of freedom. For it wasn't just the Civil war that preserved the Republic, it the breath and blood of every one that has served. Yes, we will remember those that fell, those that as Lincoln so eloquently stated, gave their last full measure of devotion. All men are equal in death! Let us never forget that bit of "unconscious influence" upon the Anglo-Saxon race. 

In defense

  I haven't been watching the news as often as I used to. It isn't anything by design, just distracted by other things I guess. I haven't been on Facebook as much either. That last statement may not be completely accurate as I certainly spend time there. But I have noticed things seem to be a bit calmer, for a lack of a better term. The combination of those things have left me wondering, what are we supposed to be upset about this week? My guess is Israel and the Palestinians. That is the meme's I see most often. I won't pretend to know much about that whole situation. All I know is that land has been disputed land since Biblical times. Anytime one group of people are bombing another group I am concerned. As I said I am woefully uninformed about all of that. 

 I have noticed that since the new administration has taken office things are calmer, in a general sense. I look at that perhaps in a way others don't. Just seems like when a certain group of people got what they wanted, the rioting, the looting, and the general unrest calmed down quite a bit. That tells me who was causing all that in the first place. That same group is busy attempting to prove an "insurrection" took place. At least that is what they label it when they aren't the ones doing it! It is just more of changing the name that has become so popular. I remember when illegal aliens became known as undocumented immigrants. Same thing, different name. It's like saying new jobs are being created when in fact, people are just getting their old job back. Same job, the only thing new is they are going to work. But, credit is taken for that while excuses are offered for the economy. All of that is being offset by what? Recovery! Yes, that is the carrot being dangled. A return to normal, the new normal. The one with all the new names.

 We did have a major pipeline hijacked by cyber hackers, really terrorists. What was the response? They were paid five million dollars! Stern warnings were issued however and an investigation launched. The Russians are being blamed once again. Construction of the Keystone pipeline, millions of dollars already invested in that project sitting idly by, was halted. Meanwhile I hear the current administration has approved something enabling a pipeline Russian controls to continue. I don't know the details of that but it doesn't sound good. I even heard a prominent member of the current administration say, pipelines are the way to go, the most efficient way of distributing oil and gas. Well, what insight! Now, I did hear some concern, some talk about cyber security. Our government lacks cyber security. Hmm, maybe they should hire Hillary Clinton for that, she seems to know how to keep secrets, or least prevent anyone from reviewing her hard drives. But, we have forgotten all about that haven't we? And Epstein, and Hunters laptop. All those inconvenient topics. 

 Well summer is just around the corner and you can go to the beach without a mask so everything is under control. People are being vaccinated at a record pace and according to the news, they are relieved. Hey only a handful of people have had serious side effects from that. I did hear a few kids had swollen hearts and breathing problems from the vaccine, only a few died, it'll be just fine. If you have any misgivings just read all the possible side effects from all the other drugs we use everyday! That's the reasoning I hear. Well for a illness that has a survival rate in excess of 98% I'm not risking any of that, but I'm the one being paranoid. Yeah, alright. 

 I do think we may be seeing the lull before the storm. The government can not keep financing calm. It has worked somewhat, this distribution of funds to assuage those feeling deprived. Soon however that will change. Given the current rise in everyday costs it's coming. Even with fifteen dollars as a minimum wage it will continue. Fifteen will be the new five. When people have to return to work to earn that money the expenditure of that money will be more closely guarded. That is to say when people have to spend their own money. That's always the issue with charity, keep giving and eventually you have to give your own! No matter how much you tax others, eventually it is your money. Then we are all the same, broke. You hear the term hesitancy being thrown about when people fail to comply with government mandates. The most current is Vaccine hesitancy. It is also being used to describe those not wishing to go to work. They are hesitant. Just what till they refuse altogether and we'll see how that works out. Fear, intimidation, and handing out a stipend every six months isn't the way to maintain a Republic! The defense of the Republic is coming and it won't be pleasant or pretty.     

the moral choice

  I was watching a civil war documentary yesterday, always something new to learn, and learn I did. The events leading up to that war were being explained and explored. A contributing factor was the election of Lincoln. Lincoln wasn't even on the ballot in ten southern states. There were four candidates running for office at that time. But after the ballots were counted, Lincoln was the clear victor. He had taken nearly every northern state. Those in the south were outraged! They expressed the feeling that Lincoln was not their president! Sounds familiar doesn't it. It was that that led to succession. Yes, there were a bunch of other issues that went along with all of that, issues about "commerce." Still the bottom line, for the southern states was the institution of slavery. It was that labor pool that drove their economy, the economy of king cotton. The northern states didn't begin that conflict, in fact, all sorts of compromises were offered, all to no avail. But Fort Sumter was taken and Lincoln had to respond. The purpose was the preservation of the Republic. It was not to free the slaves. That isn't what the north was fighting for. Lincoln had expressed that many times. Lincoln felt that eventually slavery would be abolished throughout the land and all it required was time. In fact he stated he didn't feel he had the power to abolish slavery by any executive order or action. Yes, the emancipation proclamation came later on but it didn't free all slaves, just those slaves in secessionist states. It was more of a antagonistic symbol than anything else. Following that, and with the continued horror and reality of war, the northern sentiments did shift a bit. Preserving the Republic now included freeing the slaves, on moral grounds. Morals are a great motivator to the foot soldier, to the one entering battle. Each side praying to their God, often it is the same God, asking for victory. You have to believe you are right before you ask though, that's the caveat. 

 So, I quit watching the series at that point and will continue later on. But it made me think  and realize just how much history does repeat itself. We have all heard secessionist talk in our own time. But it isn't North and South this time around, it is conservative vs liberal. Both sides are claiming the moral superiority. Isn't that the real issue? Now make no mistake economics is the driving factor in all of this, just as it was during the civil war, those that finance are not concerned with morals, they are concerned with profits. It is only the moral man that fights the battles. The common foot soldier will fight for their belief, for their cause, and risk it all. That isn't the case with the financiers though, they will bail out long before they suffer significant financial loss. Remembering the south and their fight, it was about money for them. They were all well aware that without cheap labor (slaves) they could not operate profitably. They proclaimed their right, as their cause. Indeed they had their spokesman that proclaimed the black man was made by God to be inferior to the white man. That was proclaimed in the halls of Congress! Those fighting in the field were convinced they were fighting for their sacred honor! A sentiment still expressed to this day. 

 We are facing the same choices today. Who is the moral majority? That is the question to be answered at this point in American history. Those founding fathers we speak about held the opinion that our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. Benjamin Rush is credited with writing that passage but Monroe, Jefferson, and others all concurred. One nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Those words from the Pledge of Allegiance sum that up nicely. Penned in 1892 by a Baptist minister it has undergone many changes. It wasn't officially recognized by the government until 1942. In 1954, when I was just a year old, the words Under God were added and approved by President Eisenhower. He said those words would: " strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country's most powerful resource in peace and war." He was speaking of faith, belief in your God, and belief in the moral choice. Also expressed more succinctly as, for God and Country. 

 We are locked into a struggle between conservative and liberal. It has always been so. It was the impetus for mans' migrations. We call it, seeking a better life. What it really is is much harder to define. Certainly those migrating feel they are morally correct in doing so. Migration usually occurs when the "moral" man faces defeat. That is to say when we feel we can not beat the system, we yearn for freedom. The pursuit of happiness? What is that happiness? Jefferson substituted that phrase in the place of property. Yes, Jefferson understood that it was property that brought security, and security is happiness. Was Jefferson a conservative? By todays standards he most certainly would be. In his time, he was a radical! A radical as judged by the conservatives of his time that is. Today those definitions have reversed. In the final analysis it will be decided by the majority, the moral majority. 

 Lincoln famously said, a house divided against itself can not stand. He is correct. He was speaking about the institution of slavery. He stated then, these United States will one day either allow slavery in every state or abolish it forever. Never did Lincoln campaign on any promise of ending slavery. He did want to prohibit the spread of it however, but felt that is was the individuals state that should decide upon that, not the federal government. That he, and many other famous politicians before him abhorred that practice can not be denied, it was declared immoral, unjust, and just plain wrong many times. Still, the British had established that practice in the colonies. Much business depended upon that that. If you are a politician you don't want to upset those wealthy donors! Yes, it took a civil war and the loss of as many as 800,000 lives, no one is certain, for that practice to be abolished. It took 82 years! Yes, from our independence, (1783)  the official date the Treaty of Paris was signed ending the revolution and acknowledging the United States as an independent nation, was a period of 82 years. Slavery had existed for 250 years prior under British rule. America had fulfilled her promise of Liberty and Justice for all.  The wheels of justice turn slowly that is true, but they continue to turn. And it is the moral power that drives us ever forward. And now we face the question again, what is the moral path? Does Government have an obligation to provide happiness? Remember in this sense happiness means property. Is that a moral obligation of a nation? Or is the moral obligation simply to provide liberty and justice for all? My God, and perhaps yours, has given me free will to do as I would. My God does not provide me with any property, my God does not shield me from evil. My God does provide me with moral courage! Should any government do less? Or should any government attempt to do more? What is the moral choice? 

something to think about

   Crafting a legacy. I have become aware of that in recent years, this idea of legacy. Legacy is that which we leave behind. Usually we think in terms of money, property, or some great body of work. But, each one of us leave a legacy, each of us craft that legacy over our lifetime. We are certainly not aware or concerned about any of that when we are young, children think only of the future as what is to come, and what is coming is always a good thing. You could say it is a natural yearning for freedom. Our parents and our peers place constrains on all of that, making demands upon us. Then we begin to concern ourselves with finding our way in the world. How will we navigate that? Some of us just strike out without a plan, while others seek further education, others begin practicing a trade, and eventually we all become identified with what we do. Yes, we are what we do, and what we become, and in the end we leave a legacy. The crafting of that legacy is what occupies my thoughts this morning. The truth is, we have little control over that at all, our legacy will be defined by others. Either for good or bad, that is what it will be, what others say it was. 

 As far back as high school I can remember a classmate being included in the Who's who in America. I believe that volume concerned who was the football quarterbacks in American schools. It was something like that anyway. I remember thinking then, that person will always be remembered for that, if nothing else, because it has been recorded. To be included in the who's who surely makes you somebody. It's an honor bestowed. Never one that actively sought out accolades, and not one that participated in many extra-curricular activities, my name doesn't appear often. The same could be said for my Naval career, just one in thousands that have served, undistinguished is what they would call that career. I'm fine with that as it is the truth. Beyond that I held positions. I performed jobs, did as was requested of me, a good and loyal employee. That was my working life. In retirement I do pretty much what pleases me. I'm not one to be active in community organizations, not much of a volunteer. In contrast to that I am quick to speak with people, I'm a friendly person. I will not hesitant to speak to strangers, sometimes embarrassing to the grandchildren. I disagree with the television commercial about becoming your parents. The waiter does need to know my name and I will express my opinion. 

 As far as crafting a legacy I feel like I have a chance to do just that. That was the original intent in writing these blog postings. I do want to tell my side of the story. The only way that can happen after death is if I write them down, the memories that is. I am the only one that holds those memories and I feel a sense of responsibility. It is also a secret power, I control those memories as well. With the recent passing of my mom that thought moved once again to the forefront. I have one brother left on this earth. Only one brother that could contradict my memories of childhood and home. He is the only other one that was there! Everything else would be hearsay, second hand testimony and speculation. I can craft what is remembered by writing it down. My memories are my legacy, A legacy shared. 

 The only question being, what to include? What secrets do I take with me? Those secrets would only effect my legacy, that's what I am thinking about. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? But I don't think so. I do think there are things best left between you and your God. I have discovered secrets about those I thought I knew that led to disappointment. I have discovered secrets about those I thought I knew that inspired me, gave me a greater respect for that person. Still I feel like I will retain some secrets, secrets that are really nothing more than unanswered questions. The concern? The tarnishing of a legacy. Gold doesn't tarnish, but silver does. Still those secrets may provide the polish necessary to buff up that legacy a bit. It's a question of risk and reward. The risk only exists while we live, the reward is forever. That's something to think about. What is left behind?     

who cares

  I often think about, and have indeed started several, books. The truth is, what I have started on several occasions and in several forms is a memoir. Thinking about that it sounds so pretentious. I once allowed others to read the first few paragraphs and the only comment I did get was that it seemed too personal. Well, yes, memoirs can be that. And the issue with memoirs is a very limited audience. Those interested would indeed a small number, at least in my case that would be true. Unless one gains some fame, some notoriety in this world, that is always the case. Personal insights and revelations are of little interest to others unless they entertain. Self deprecating comics are quite popular, self deprecating authors not so much. Who cares? That last remark is at the heart of the matter, who does care? 

 The truth there is, I do. I care about the past, I care about those that came before, and I care about those yet to come. We are often told that doing something for yourself is just being selfish. When we are told to; do it for yourself; it is always accompanied with a tinge of guilt. We say, spoil yourself, you deserve it and a hundred other platitudes to justify that. It is ingrained in us, we should always do for others, even at a cost to ourselves, especially at a cost to ourselves. Whatever we do for ourselves isn't important, it is the contribution we make to the world that counts. And a personal memoir is of what value to anyone else? Beyond entertainment I can see little worth. My memoirs, my memories certainly wouldn't be a textbook. I find the more I remember, the more I question. No one wants to read the questions, they want the answers. Indeed isn't that what we spend our lives doing, looking for the answers? We do, it's just that some are more distracted than others. As we age, as time passes, we do become a bit more focused. Circumstance and reality have a way of doing that. You just have to recognize both. Circumstance may change, reality does not. 

 I'm still interested in writing that book, even if it is nothing more than a memoir. It is just that I have hopes that it will be a bit more than a curiosity. Bothers me a bit to think it wouldn't be more than an entertainment. A long time ago I expressed that by saying I hope to write some words of substance. It was then I began a habit of jotting down my thoughts in a journal. A single sentence that expresses a thought, what I think of as a quote. Something that would be repeated, used as a reference. When we wish to confirm something, lend credence to it, we often quote the source. My grandmother would say this, or my brother would say that. Unless the source being quoted is "known" it doesn't carry much weight. Quoting Aristotle or Hemmingway will make the thought seem a bit more valid than saying, Ben said that. That's simply because the question will be asked. who's Ben? The answer then would have to be, read the book. See the problem? 

 Any book I would write would be the view from behind the stage. The behind the scene look at life as it unfolded. I've played a bit part in all of this. Just someone in the crowd. The real story will be what follows and that is a reality. I'll most likely never know how the story ends. Any memoir I write will just be a footnote in that history and who reads the footnotes? It is that, that leaves me wondering if it is worth the effort. But then I'm reminded, you aren't supposed to do that for yourself, do it for others. A gift offered. Will the gift be accepted? The question is, does it matter? Memoirs are just memories written down. Do they need to tell a story? They do if the intent is to entertain. Guess what I'm hoping to do is to inform. It would be easier to accomplish if I joined all the victims today, victims, like misery, love company. Thing is, I'm no victim, I'm a willing participant. I've made my choices, right and wrong. I would like to have made a contribution, added something to the conversation. If not, I was just selfish.  

  

 

a generation past

 It isn't something I wanted to make a general Facebook post about but have told a few friends. This past Tuesday at 7:49 AM my Mom passed away. She was 91 years 8 Months and 1 day old. Born on a Monday she passed on a Tuesday. I too was born on a Monday morning. I had her for 24,774 days. She had a long life and I believe a good one. She was the youngest of ten children. She certainly had her share of hard times, as do we all, but she persevered. In her later years she often spoke of being the last. All her brothers and sisters had passed before her. She had also lost a son and a daughter. And so, with her passing I couldn't help but think, I have seen the passing of a generation. She was the last of that generation that I knew personally. It's a sad and sobering reality. An entire generation now relegated to memory. Setting aside my personal loss and sorrow I am keenly aware of that. It's another revelation that only comes with time. No matter the level of schooling, no matter the circumstances, there are certain realities that only time will teach. This is one of those times for me. 

 Having developed an affinity for writing down my thoughts it's something I will record as best I can. I have been working on the family tree for a number of years. Other than satisfying my own curiosity I have wondered what the point was. I suppose I have hoped that one of the grandchildren would take an interest. I realize however that usually doesn't happen until they are older, like I was, before that  emerges. Younger people figure they know it all and so aren't interested. Then, at some point, we begin to wonder. We begin to think about those that came before. Today, as I write these thoughts I am thinking, a generation has passed. Perhaps that process began thirty one years ago when my Dad passed. He was just 66 years old, I'm now 67. It could have been sooner, as he flew combat missions in WW2 but he survived that. It's true that I knew few of my aunts and uncles but they are all long since past. The friends of my parents too, all gone. Generally speaking those folks were all members of what has been called the Silent generation. The generation that gave birth to the baby boomers, that's me. The United States census estimates that in 2019 there were 23 million people of the silent generation still with us. Twenty three million out of about three hundred and twenty eight. About 7% of the total population. A number grown smaller just this past Tuesday. I have recorded hundreds of names, all ancestors of mine, many generations past. It's a bit different when you realize your generation is next. Having made that entry into the family tree it became starkly clear. Truly, a generation has past. And now it is left to me, to my generation. It's a responsibility. The silent generation brought us through, to this point, but their time is done. The baby boomers are the senior members, it is on us. 

 My world has become a smaller place, less familiar for the loss. I still have a brother living in Georgia that would understand my memories. And isn't that what we really lose? Someone to share our memories with, to share the emotion, not the story. That's the way it is. You hear a lot of talk these days about pronouns, using this pronoun or that. What I'm thinking about is tense. Memories are always in the first person, stories are past tense. When the first person is no longer with you, you share the stories, told in the past tense. Seems like most of my stories are in the past tense these days. And that pretty much defines aging. I'm trying to remember the last memory I shared with my Mom, the last story told in the first person, but I don't know. The last is always a surprise. Even when it is expected, it is a surprise and a shock. But I will assume the responsibility handed to me by time and carry on. Time is a gift.      

The unmasked

  I went to Walmart yesterday where their is no requirement for the mask. I noticed the vast majority of people still wearing one however. Must be the ones that aren't vaccinated, that's the rule right? The CDC estimates that about 38% of the population is vaccinated but those numbers don't match what I saw. I'd say less than 1% of the customers and employees were mask less. Could there be a hesitancy? The CDC certainly is concerned with vaccine hesitancy. I hear the news people harping on that all the time now. In Baltimore the Mayor is forming "task forces" to take the vaccine to the streets, to every alley and neighborhood, free of charge! You mustn't be hesitant to comply! The honor system is being used though as even the staunchest of liberals are a bit concerned about having to show "proof of purchase." Taking the mask off is now being used as the signal, like a gang sign, to others that you have been vaccinated. Hey, maybe they should just revive the safety pin campaign. Do you remember that? You were supposed to wear a safety pin to show others that you were a safe person to approach, non judgmental, accepting and completely sympathetic to whatever. Yeah, that didn't catch on too well, not like the colored ribbons that still abound. But, whatever.

 I wonder though, is it fear of contracting the virus, fear of spreading the virus, or peer pressure that is causing this reaction? In my estimation it is the later. People are afraid of confrontation if they are not wearing a mask. In 14 months time many people have been conditioned into thinking this way. The same thing happened in Germany many years ago. The population became convinced that Hitler and his programs were the right thing. That's exactly how things got to the point they did. By the time the general public realized what the real deal was, it was too late. There was no turning back. The New York Times had an opinion piece saying it is their belief people will continue to wear the mask, maybe forever. Welcome to the new normal. Have you noticed? People do have a tendency to walk wide around you, searching eyes peer over masks with scared glances at those not wearing a mask. You can't really see any emotion in them because their face is covered. It's a phycological thing, it has been studied. Cover people faces and they do become more subservient, more easily controlled. And now if someone isn't wearing the mask, they are being viewed differently, as a threat. That's what is happening. The unmasked! It's obvious they don't care about anyone else, it certainly speaks to their character doesn't it? Yes, that's the messaging here. 

 Now all that being said I don't think we will be wearing masks forever. Given time people will ditch that altogether for one reason, convenience. The fear will subside, courage will grow and people will forget about it. People do not like being inconvenienced. It's amazing what people will do to avoid that. Why do we have self checkouts? Was that solely a business decision, to save money on cashiers? No, it was in response to demand. I want to pay for this and get out of the store as fast as possible. Same reason we have "minute clinics" We would rather get in, get our band-aid and get on with doing what we want to do. Isn't convenience the biggest selling point for just about everything? Yup, pretty much. How long will people wear the mask? Well, all I can say is Walmart has them on clearance. Should tell you something.         

a long time ago

  I've seen the meme's on Facebook asking to date yourself without telling the date you were born. Usually people name a movie or a song, a band, or telephones, something like that. I've mentioned hiding under the desk at school during simulated nuclear attack and using the mimeograph machine. Now people in my age group understand all of that. But there is one thing that I can say that may surprise even those folks. I was born on a Monday morning, three months after the first issue of TV guide was published. Yes, I'm almost as old as the TV guide, which to my surprise, is still being printed. The "guide" is 67 years old. A lot has happened since. In 1954 the Swanson brothers invented the TV dinner. Snack trays followed. Soon the televisions were in color, had stereo sound and where the size of a small house! Yes, a lot has happened.

 Depending upon where you were born and raised the things that may date you are different. Growing up in a rural area we had two television channels. Channel three and channel eight, both out of Conn. Occasionally a third option  would appear through the magic of atmospheric transmission, that's what the science guy called it, but it would soon disappear. When I was real small the operator still connected you. You picked up the phone, the operator asked, number please, and you got connected. Yes, no dial, no pushbuttons, just someone's mother at the switchboard. When "cablevision" erected a tower in town that was a big deal. There were those that just couldn't believe anyone would pay to watch television. Imagine that, paying to watch television, might as well throw your money away. Well, some people did pay extra to have a private phone line so there's that. 

 I was reminded of all that the other day. I had received a Facebook Watch invitation. An old friend was getting married. Wishing to view this ceremony on the big screen, my 55 inch smart tv, I looked into how that could be done. Now, I'm all for new technology and have found that You Tube has videos that will explain just about anything. Doing a little research I discovered that I should be able to simply stream Facebook to my smart tv, all I need to do is install the app on my television. That's when, after twenty minutes of frustration and more research, I discover my television isn't that smart after all. I can not install the Facebook Watch app on this set. I would need to purchase Chromecast or Roku or another option, a smarter tv. Needless to say I watched the ceremony on my computer. But I was grateful for Mr. Google, can't imagine how many trips to the library that would have taken, and all the searching through the card catalogue. I wonder where in the Dewey Decimal system streaming Facebook would be found? Must be a card in there somewhere for that. I do remember using a computer with a green screen and you typed dos commands in it. Yeah, I remember when that was brand new tech, along with floppy discs. Heck I remember the Sony Walkman as cutting edge.

 I do enjoy reading the responses to meme's like those. I can relate to a number of them. The things we remember from childhood. Just why did we eat that white paste in kindergarten? We all knew Dick and Jane and who was a boy and a girl, but we ate the paste? Getting to "clap" the erasers was a privilege. We loved the smell of the mimeograph ink. I remember when the teacher gave you two pencils, #2's, that had to last until the next quarter. We held our books together with those heavy elastic bands with steel hooks on the ends, since banned as dangerous weapons. Those brown paper grocery bags made the coolest book covers. We stood every morning, facing the flag and recited the pledger of allegiance. When something really bad happened, we even prayed in school. Yes, that's how old I am. And no one was offended! It was a long time ago.    

confused?

  There is a lot of confusion surrounding the whole mask thing. The evening news people have been talking about all of that. Who has to wear a mask, where, when and how often. And the answer is, it depends. It isn't dependent on science though, just the individual authorities, like the Mayor or a Governor. That's the confusing part. It doesn't have a thing to do with science. What it has to do with is, revenue and gathering votes. The return to "normal" is certainly an exciting prospect. We were assured that would happen if we followed the science and flattened the curve. That science said the way to stop the spread was to wear a mask! At first it was to be a medical grade N-95 mask. That was quickly changed however when it was discovered there was not enough for everyone. The science changed to, any old piece of cloth will do. Just stay six feet apart and you'll be fine. Hand sanitizer will stave off anything so just use a gallon of that everyday. Well, soap and water will work just as well but we will shift manufacturing to producing that stuff in industrial size barrels for public use. Now we can sanitize our hands every six feet! You know, just in case you pick up the virus somewhere. Never mind the science that says, the virus hasn't been transmitted on any surface. Eventually we were told to wear two masks! We have to follow the science! 

 Now along with following the science we were informed that we had to follow those guidelines for others. Yes, that was the bottom line wasn't it? It wasn't your body, your choice after all! No, you had to do all of that to protect others. It would be just plain selfish, self centered, self absorbed and inward looking to do otherwise. You would be responsible for the deaths of millions of seniors in nursing homes. That's why you had to wear the mask, to protect others! 

 When the vaccine becomes available we will return to normal. Apparently normal means I don't have to worry about others anymore because I have been vaccinated. That's the science today. That's the confusion? I'm not confused at all with any of this. I understand it completely. As long as I am protected from the virus I don't have to worry about spreading the virus to anyone else. If they are not vaccinated, that is their fault! They have been told about the science. Sure the vaccinated people are protected now but here's an interesting bit of science, they can still spread the virus. So, the new science says, they don't have to wear a mask because they are protected and if you are not vaccinated it is on you. Wear the mask! The mask is to protect you from the vaccinated people. They are protected so they don't need to be concerned with you. 

 Gail King reported that about 38% of the population has received the vaccine. She did explain that was less than half, in case you don't understand about percentages, you know that advanced mathematic stuff. That 38% can still spread the virus to the remaining 62%, that's more than half, but they don't need to concern themselves with that. The 62%, on the honor system, can simply wear a mask to protect themselves. Is that confusing? Not to me it isn't. The concern is really for commerce, not for any virus. The damage has been done, it is time to institute the new normal. The new normal is where the government mandates your health care choices. You will comply with their guidelines or else. The science will be tailored to fit the current narrative, as "new" research comes in. The CDC reports that most years there are between 34 and 43 thousand deaths from the seasonal flu. This is with about 50%, that's half, of the population receiving a flu shot. No one is wearing a mask. That's the science. 

 So let me clear this up for those confused about the whole mask thing. You will do as you are "guided" to do by government authority. The population is becoming restless, things are getting bad, the government is not handing out money anymore, the people are not entertained. So, we have a vaccine that science says is effective, well sorta, we think it is anyway, just not against any variants in this virus and so you can take off your mask. Forget about spreading it to others, that 62% of the population can just fend for themselves. It's the science. 

entertained?

  Entertaining yourself, it is something I believe is becoming a lost skill. There are far too many outside influences today that have led us all down this path. The reality is this path is one of isolation. Without those outside influences many are lost. We may call it by other names, we have created a whole industry to support that, and yet many remain unaware. The issue is entertaining themselves, they don't know how to keep themselves company. 

 Right now I'm hearing an advertisement on television, sponsored by Walgreens, proclaiming this is our shot! They are ready to give you the vaccine, free of charge, so that you can have a shot! A shot at going back to a normal life, back to the way it used to be, this is your shot! And the message is clear, you can't do that on your own, you need to be indoctrinated, err, vaccinated before you will be allowed to join in society. You need to be a part of all that, after all, you can't do this on your own. You need to be entertained by others. 

 What is an entertainment? What is its' purpose? To distract, is the short answer. When we are entertained our mind is off our obligations, off our responsibilities, and we can escape all that. When we haven't learned to entertain ourselves we become dependent on others, that is obvious. But today we have medication for that don't we? Yes, it is advertised on television almost incessantly. Bi-polar depression, sadness, feeling alone, thoughts of suicide, hopelessness, all of that can be medicated away. In fact, taking the right medication, can improve your quality of life. Yes, you will be entertained whether you know it or not. Such an advance in science. It's amazing that man has survived as long as we have given the circumstances, given the lack of entertainment. 

 Children have the natural ability to entertain themselves. They are not concerned with what others think of their entertainment. They may sing, dance, crawl in the dirt, imagine great adventures, tell stories or just stare at the sky, all uninhibited, unencumbered by the outside world. They are entertained. Then the outside forces begin to exert their influences. You no longer sing well enough, dance well enough, you aren't as smart as others, and it goes on. Then, for some, entertainment becomes a competition.  In order to validate their entertainment they become dependent. It may begin as taking a lesson, nothing wrong with that, until it becomes an obsession and not an entertainment. When the objective becomes showing your proficiency to others rather than entertaining yourself, it becomes a problem. When pleasing others, or being accepted by others, is the goal you will fail. You must first learn to entertain yourself, as you did as a child, unapologetically. 

 Still the goal of a child is to what? Become responsible adults. That's what I was taught. The objective  was to contribute to society. I was born in America and as such I am an American. Those are the values and lessons I was taught. Hard work, dedication, and obeying the rule of law was paramount in all of that. Entertainment was a distraction, a method to relax, take a break, not a lifestyle choice! I am responsible for my choices, for my actions. 

 Independence is the watchword of freedom. You can't have one without the other. A childs' entertainment is that freedom. When they are playing, entertaining themselves, they are enjoying independence, a freedom. They are not dependent upon anyone at that time. That's freedom. Far too many today just don't understand that at all. That's why they place so much importance on entertainers. They are dependent upon others for entertainment, for freedom. Having surrendered their freedom in exchange for a temporary escape, those folks become angry, bitter, and resentful. They don't know what to do. 

published

  While working on the family tree I have searched old newspapers. I am lucky in that my hometown had its' own newspaper, published weekly, and still does in fact. That has to be somewhat of a rarity today I would think. The paper began in 1885. In its' pages I have found much information about my family. Births, deaths, and the stuff of everyday living. Their names appear in advertisements as well. But my birth is not a part of that record. I have searched and there is no birth announcement for me. I'm not certain as to the reason for that. I'm unaware if you had to pay a fee to have that information included. I had written a couple letters to the editor that are there, they are published at the discretion of the editor.  I submitted a poem once as well that was printed. Still, no mention of my birth. And when my time comes I'm certain there will be no obituary either as I don't live there anymore. There would be no reason for them to have that knowledge or use space for someone as insignificant as myself. Should I gain a measure of fame That would change. Understand that is not a complaint, merely an observation. Back in the day we used to get information about birth, death, marriages, and such primarily through the newspaper. At least in East Hampton we did. The East Hampton Star, whose banner proclaims, It shines for all. Well, guess it was behind the clouds the day I was born. 

 I was thinking about that after seeing a wedding announcement on Facebook. Facebook has become somewhat my source of information about such things. A sort of crazy newspaper. The "editor" can block anyone from submitting articles that they choose while those being blocked have no recourse. It was the same when you wrote to the paper, they may or may not publish it. There is a difference however when I pay for publication. They called it advertising, you could take out an ad. It is what paid for the paper. I'm guessing it still works in that fashion. Facebook certainly does. So I am seeing the news the "editor" allows to be news. The thing is, there are no "sections" on Facebook, unless you wish to count the groups as sections of the whole, a piece of the paper, like the travel or gossip section, some are like the funny papers. As a result I could be reading along, browsing different articles and there it is, an obituary. I wasn't expecting that, I wasn't looking in that section. Or I could see some other announcement, a casual mention that catches me off guard. And they always seem out of place. Sandwiched between what someone just ate for dinner and a debate about abortion is an announcement about a life event. Just a casual mention that so and so has cancer or a mass murder just occurred.

 I did create a group, my own section in the paper you could say, and I am the editor. It's called the administrator though, I am granted limited powers. I can block people from using my section if I choose but the "managing" editor can block everything! So I do have a measure of control over what is published in my section. I have restricted a few people from posting in that section, just because. But for the most part I do very little editing at all. My group, my section of the paper, does provide me with local news. Well, it was local to me fifty years ago anyway. I recognize the family names and most places. It's a funny thing. That newspaper I mentioned, The East Hampton Star, is available online. I do not subscribe to it but have read some stories from it. In the paper however I know little of what they are talking about. The names aren't familiar, the issues sure are foreign to me, leaf blower noise, and what celeb is doing what. No, I quit reading that paper a long time back. They did, and perhaps still do, have a column about the past. Twenty five years ago, Fifty years ago and 75 years ago. An article from that time would be reprinted. I remember reading them and laughing, and occasionally Mom or Grandma would remark, I remember that. This June the Star could publish, from fifty years ago, the graduating class of East Hampton High. My name would be in the list! I remember that. 

 And today I can look at my memories page on Facebook. Mine goes back about ten years, It is amusing at times to see what I did post. Many times I find nothing much has changed. But it is fun to see how the kids have grown over that ten year period. Facebook is great for that anyway. All the pictures and posts are there, in an archive, if you wish to search for them. It is far more detailed that the local newspaper though and that may or may not be a good thing. Just like those old newspapers I have found articles that are less than flattering from many years back. Of course, to be in the paper it had to be significant, on Facebook, not so much. It is all there, often lacking context. I just saw that a contestant of American Idol or Americas got talent withdrew from the show because of a picture taken when he was 12. Someone else in the picture is wearing a Klu Klux Klan outfit so he must be a white supremist. Something like that anyway. But that's what I'm thinking about. I don't know how to do it but I'm certain there are plenty of people that know how to look at your online past, everything you have ever posted. And that is something to be aware of. You could look but you won't find my birth mentioned in the paper. I was born though, I can vouch for that. This Facebook newspaper however does record everything. Be careful what you publish is my advice.   

living, the dream

   John Barrymore said: "a man is not old until regret takes the place of dreams." I'm not old, as I have no regrets, but I am old enough to understand what he was saying. The fact is, it doesn't do any good to regret the past because you can't do a thing about it. Paul Anka wrote the song My Way and said, "regrets I've had a few, but then again to few to mention" and that is the best advice I could give someone, don't bother mention the regrets, no use picking at old wounds. I could probably think of a few more old adages but you get the message. Robert Frost talked about the road not taken. The implication in that poem being we should be individuals, trying different things, different ideas, different ideologies. In doing so we won't look back with regrets or misgivings. Of course if everyone did that the road would be heavily traveled wouldn't it? But regret is the topic here. 

 So what is regret? It's that feeling of sadness that comes over us for something we have, or have not done. It is the wish we had done something different, made a different choice. It's a desire to change the past. It can't be done and that is the finality of regret, the finality of time. Still, as Barrymore pointed out we can dream. We are never too old to dream. What is the reality of a dream? That's a good question don't you think? We often say, a dream came true when something we wished for, that we felt might not happen, or be impossible, does happen. Following that, we continue to dream however. Can you really live the dream? No, I don't believe that is possible, although you can certainly be content. If we stop dreaming we aren't living is my thought. Those dreams do not have to involve you, dreams can be for those that you love, those that you know, or even those you have never met. The dream of world peace, the dream of mankind living in complete harmony. Those are dreams as real as any other. Do not allow regret to replace dreams. 

 Dreams are tied to belief. If you believe in life after death you should never stop dreaming. Isn't that what life after death really is? A dream that our consciousness will continue after our physical bodies fail? And I do believe that our consciousness, or soul if you prefer that description, is energy and as such can not be created or destroyed. Energy is the transformation of consciousness from one state to another. The dream is the next state will be better than the one we are in. Well, unless we screw up and then it could be worse, but that concept speaks to religious teachings. Dreams and nightmares consist of the same fabric, just a different arrangement. Both are what the mind imagines. As to whether you can be conscious of your previous consciousness, I haven't decided upon that. I won't be able to say until that happens. In the meantime I'll keep on dreaming. I'll keep on living.    

honor

  Just heard on the news that the CDC is now saying no masks for those fully vaccinated. Well, except in some situations that is. On airplanes, buses, the Drs. office, and a few other places. But not outside. Well, as long stay away from everyone else. But at the end of that story the question was asked, how will we know who is vaccinated and who is not? The answer is, we will use the honor system. Yes, we are being told to just take their word for it. If I am not wearing a mask that means I am fully vaccinated. Okay, sounds like a plan doesn't it? Well all I can say is this, if I choose to not receive the vaccination do you honestly believe I will advertise that by wearing a mask? I have chosen to not get the vaccine for a reason, a reason those getting it do not agree with. But yeah, sure, I'll be sure to wear a mask to inform you of that. Look, setting aside all the ethics involved in this, what is that really saying? It is really saying, no one really needs to be wearing masks anymore. That's the bottom line. The risk is minimal. Fact is it always has been. 

 But now the CDC offers you a bone, good puppy. At first they told you Covid 19 was killing thousands, people are dropping like flies! The body count was broadcast daily. The country was placed in lockdown. Shelter in place! This virus is killing the old people. it's killing the young people, we have no defense! Wear a mask, stay six feet apart, and don't go to work. Then we heard, wear two masks! Finally though the miracle vaccine appears, well three of them in fact, in record time. But people are hesitant to be injected with a substance that is designed to modify their dna. Some people are doing independent research, learning about side effects. So the plan becomes, bribery. Offers of cash to get the jab. That doesn't seem to be having the desired effect so a new ploy is developed. The vaccine can now be given to children. But, we are warned, if your child isn't vaccinated they will be ostracized from society! No school or activities for them until they comply! Strange I haven't heard anything about the honor system being applied in that situation. 

 It would seem certain powers are trying everything at their disposal to destroy the nation. They have tried allowing illegals to invade, they have tried erasing history, tearing down statues, they are promoting racial tensions, a plandemic that it is hoped will lead to financial collapse. Does anyone believe that Colonial Pipeline actually payed 5 million dollars to a Russian hacking group to open the pipeline? They may have raised 5 million in increased revenue by jacking the price of gas but I'm not buying the whole ransom thing? Isn't it a policy of the United States to not pay ransom? Or has that policy changed with this new administration? Well, whatever the case really is, it didn't happen by accident. 

 The honor system? Yeah, that is what this administration wants for the next election cycle as well. Just mail in a ballot, it's the honor system. If you are in the United States you can vote! If you mail it in early enough you won't even have to be in the United States. Hey, it's the honor system. If you are fully vaccinated but still afraid that someone that isn't vaccinated may transmit the virus, wear a mask! You make your choice and I'll make mine. It's the honorable thing to do.  

is it right for you?

  I keep seeing and hearing television advertisements for drugs. Take this for that, ask your doctor about this. Monoclonal Antibodies is the latest thing I've heard them hawking. A daughter is talking to her Mother who was just diagnosed with Covid 19. The implication being that is a death sentence! The daughter pleads with her Mother, call now, call right now, don't hesitate. Call your Doctor and ask her if Monoclonal Antibodies are right for you! As if anyone beside a trained medical professional would know what the heck a monoclonal antibody is. I googled that and still don't really understand what the heck that is all about. Google says, you inject a mouse with an antigen. Okay what's an antigen? Google says it is a foreign substance introduced into a body to induce a immune response. Hmm, I don't like the sound of that. But this monoclonal antigen will produce lymphocytes specific to the antigen. Lymphocytes? Back to Google and find out there are two types of those B & T. You can find them in blood and lymph tissues. Yeah I had best ask my Doctor about that. She will tell me if that is right for me. That means that could be wrong as well. Guess I had best not get those monoclonal antibodies at Walmart. Better check with the Doctor first.

 That is just one example of the stuff I keep hearing about. The list of drugs for mental health is growing too. It could be manic depression, several types of that, bi-polar, a few variations of that as well, or I'm just plain old nuts! But not to worry there are over the counter drugs for all of that or you could consult with your health care professional. You have been given the full list of symptoms to help the Doctor diagnosis the problem. And that is what I'm thinking about this morning. I'm thinking all of that has to be a big pain to the doctors out there. It surely has to be a source of frustration. I wonder how many doctors have to deal with patients attempting to tell them how to "fix" them. What I mean is, as a mechanic I always was annoyed with those that had just read a book or heard something somewhere and then they think they know more about my profession that I do. I read this article that said you could just, and that is where it usually begins. If I where a doctor, after all those years of study, and some clown comes to me about monoclonal antibodies insisting that they should get that because the television commercial recommends that, I will be annoyed. That's what I'm thinking about. Patients bringing the diagnosis to me. 

 We have all heard about hypochondria. I can't see where all these advertisements don't contribute to that. I believe that is especially true with generation x and the millennials. They have been subjected to this constant bombardment of possible health issues. I have heard commercials saying you can have this issue, a serious issue, without even knowing it! You had best get checked right away. We baby boomers were not subjected to nearly the level of that. Most of us were told, rub some dirt on it, it'll be fine. And seeking help because you feel sad? I don't think so. We certainly weren't so worried about our "quality of life" which is a code name for doing whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like doing it. Nowadays you have to seek out the proper specialist for whatever ailment you believe you may have. That's what your primary care physician is for. He, or she, is like the cruise director. Monoclonal antibodies can be found on the Lido deck. All of that started in 1997 when the FDA allowed the pharmaceutical companies to advertise their products. In just 25 years that decision has dramatically changed health care in America. And I don't think it has been for the better. At this moment I hear a commercial in the background saying, ask your doctor for a prescription to the free style one touch monitor so you can monitor your blood glucose level daily. Just, tell your doctor. Maybe that is right for you.      

still good

  It was a phrase I used in a conversation the other day and has stuck with me. That happens every once and a while. I have taken to writing those down in a journal along with poems that I have written. A sort of collection of my thoughts. This phrase I would call a title, more than anything else. Title's are encapsulated ideas. The author has the obligation to open that capsule and explain its' meaning to the reader. This particular title is a tough nut to crack. What I mean is, I'm struggling to find the meaning. The title in question: Hand me down memories. It came to me as away to describe pictures of my ancestors. I have quite a few due to my work on the family tree. Most have the names associated with them, they are several that do not. Perhaps those photos are ancestors, or perhaps they are pictures of friends of those ancestors. I have a number of photographs that belonged to my father. Those photographs are from his days in the service, the air crews he flew with during WW2. A few have names on them, a few have locations, and others are completely unidentified. Those were his memories, handed down to me. It wasn't by design, it was by circumstance. Still I feel a sense of responsibility for them. 

 Are all the stories, anecdotes, and possessions of our ancestors hand me down memories?  I'd have to say they are. They are certainly used, second hand, and isn't that a hand me down? From whomever you received them their feeling was that they would still be of use. The original owner didn't feel those things were ready to be discarded. The fate of those items now lies with whoever the recipient was. You could look at it in this way. I'm through with the item but not ready to discard it completely. The result being, I hand it down. At that point it will be determined, utility versus sentiment. It is sentiment that causes us to retain an item when it has exceeded its' utility. 

 We all like to share our memories. When we are longer here, to tell those stories in the first person, they are hand me down memories. When I first wrote that "title" down hand me down memories a friend said it sounded like a country song. I agreed that it did. Hand me down implies something already used, somehow less inferior, and the one receiving that is somehow disadvantaged. Well disadvantaged is the polite term we apply today, in years past, we would have said poor. But we should remember that those memories were important to the original owner, they bought them. Yes, they bought the farm with those. Funny how buying the farm implies something bad and in this case, I would be dying to buy the farm. I did so by entrusting you with my memories. 

 Well that's what I have determined so far anyway. I'm thinking the idea could be a good country song. George Jones singing the grand tour comes to mind. It wasn't about hand me down memories but it was about memories that much is certain. In the beginning lines of that song he says, "I have nothing here to sell you, just some things that I will tell you." Handing down a memory? Yes, I would say that is exactly what he wanted to do. It is an attempt to hand down sentiment. Well, at least I think it could be. That is what my feeling is anyway. I write about it, I talk about it  all the time. I do wonder what will happen to my stuff after I'm gone. The stuff is the hand me downs. We remember hand me downs. Whenever we see them or use them we are reminded, they are hand me downs. What we sometimes forget is how valuable they were to the original owner. Each item has something to tell you. The importance of the message is what you are responsible for. 

 Recognizing the sentimental value,  that is your responsibility. That occurs with each person, each generation. It's called attachment. How attached are you to the object? It doesn't have to be a physical object though, it can just be a memory. The very reason I say, as long as you speak a persons name they are not gone. I will say having reminders of that person is always helpful. And now I'm thinking that perhaps second hand memories would be a better way of describing what I'm thinking about. Those that I never knew personally, those memories are second hand, and in some cases third hand or fourth hand! Whatever they are I do feel an obligation to save them, pass them down. The hope being someone else will get good use out of them. Isn't that the reason we hand them down? I hope someone will get good use out of my memories, find something of value in them. Yeah they are a little old, but they are still good. 

being critical

  Isn't it amazing how quickly made for tv's movies can be produced. I just saw Netflix advertising one about Asian-Americans, you know how they have been mistreated by the mean white people in the world. I wonder if they will mention that time the Asian people bombed Pearl Harbor on a Sunday morning? Nah, I guess not. Of course I'm certain they will talk about how unfair it was to place those Asians in interment camps after that happened though. Hey just because their people ( you know Asians) had blown up Pearl Harbor, destroying ships, facilities and taking lives was no reason to be wary of them. They were Americans too! Well, I'm sorry but it sure seems like a reasonable response to me, prudent even. Yes some call that profiling. and profiling is a terrible thing. But really it is predictive policing. Asians had attacked America, is it unreasonable to predict that others may attempt the same thing? No different than a white man walking through Harlem. I can predict what may happen, it's true it may not, but I'm predicting a bad outcome. As a result I avoid that neighborhood. That's all I'm saying. 

 It's a rather strange thing really. This nation was founded by white people. Yes, those white people were many nationalities, that was before we became fixated on race. That conglomerate of white people was concerned with government oppression. It was government that was holding them back from achieving their dreams. The first ones that came here were seeking their fortunes. Yes, the narrative was religious freedom but that wasn't the real purpose, it was money. The promise of land, the promise of a land with untold resources. Religion had been used as a tool of government. That was evident  to anyone that knew history at all. Remember the Divine right of Kings? That concept existed long before Europeans adopted it. Truth is ancient Egyptian cultures (are Egyptians white people) practiced that, as well as Aryans. Remember it wasn't until the New Testament that man is commanded to have no God before him and we get a Pope. The Pope then, over time, wields political power. Don't forget it was the Pharisees that condemned Jesus to the cross, not the Romans. So anyway, Church and State were going to be separated in this land. When the Church started interfering in profits that's what happened. America was established and it was predominately white people. After 165 years America was attacked by the Japanese. Other than other white folks, that had never happened before. It was easy to tell who was Asian and so the finger was pointed at them. Same thing happened after radical Muslims attacked the twin towers. Just goes to show it is a natural response, it isn't profiling, it is predictive. If the fire burns me once, it will most likely burn me twice. Predictive.

 So now we are all hearing about critical race theory. It really isn't something new, it has been around for decades. This time however someone attached a new name to the idea. The basic idea is that all white people are racists, will never admit to being racists, and all the other races are being handicapped by the white folks. But let's go back in time a bit, back to the time when America was the big melting pot. First used in the 1780's that metaphor came into common usage in 1907 after a play of the same name. It's the same as our traditional national motto really, E Pluribus Unum, out of many, one. Note the official motto of the United States is, In God we Trust, I include that for clarity. Neither one has a thing to do with race. And who immigrated to this melting pot? Was it only other white people that wanted to live in a racist utopia? Well it was mostly Europeans that is true. Those Europeans all grouped together as white people in the common image. Were they? Well that depends now doesn't it. Depends on what part of Europe they came from. They were identified by nationality. And each group faced discrimination, bias, and disdain by other Europeans that were already here in America. Was that racist? Critical race theory certainly would say yes! That's because the basis for this theory lies in "classes" of people. Same thinking as Karl Marx. But today that is being defined just a bit differently, by race, by the color of your skin. And the white people are a separate class of people altogether in this theory, a class of people that has mistreated and subjugated all others, all white people are inherently racists. I have to wonder why all these other "races" immigrated to a land of Racists. Why would they do that? Yes, I know black people were sold into slavery during the time Europeans were in control in America. Americans abolished that practice, in its' entirety, 83 years after being founded as America. Is that something a racist society would do? Hmm, doesn't seem likely does it? What hasn't been abolished in the world, by anyone , anywhere, is circumstance. Yes, we are all born into a set of circumstances that we have no control over whatsoever. You could call that, classes. It is what Karl Marx calls it. Marx said that the imbalance in society is caused by those wishing to make money vs those working for that money. He isn't wrong but his solution is! You can't make people equal by taking from one to give to the other. Critical race theory is nothing more than a rationalization that race is the primary factor preventing success in the society. It doesn't explain why so many non-whites, if you wish to coin that term, have been so successful throughout American history. It also doesn't explain why there are so many others, around the globe, suffering in poverty, and those nations are even being controlled by those white racist folks! Perhaps it is really is something else? 

 I really think we should all be very careful when it comes to this. Critical race theory is an attempt to institute socialism or Marxism. Marxist are more concerned with political ideologies, whereas socialists are concerned with property. The basic concept is the same. everyone gets the same thing from the collective. Of course someone has to run the collective and they don't have to abide by the rules, only those doing the work. In exchange, the promise is, you will get the same as everyone else regardless of effort. It's also why that will inevitably fail. Sooner or later someone will figure it out, they are being scammed. Sooner or later the ones in control of the collective run out of others peoples money and property. Critical race theory isn't about race at all, it is about taking from one group to give to another. That in itself is a racist action, especially when you are identifying the race you wish to take from! Funny how that works isn't? Critical thinking is what is required, not a theory. Especially a theory that has yet to work in any circumstance throughout the history of man. You can change the name all you want but the theory remains the same, socialism never works.         

social testosterone

 Choosing the right words. Each morning when I sit down to write my thoughts I do search for the right words. You have to choose your words for the audience you wish to attract. My issue being, I'm not trying to attract any particular audience. It is my hope that the old adage, birds of a feather flock together, holds true. Still there can be disagreement among the flock. It could be said the Republican party is going through that at this very time, Cheney will most likely be unseated. Her words are going against the majority of the flock at this time. As for me, sometimes my choice of words are popular and at others, not so much. Well, unless one is trying for the commercial aspect of writing there is no telling what will be accepted and rejected. Publishing houses spend millions gathering the commercial works, it is a for profit enterprise after all. All the different genre's, same as music and art. Popularity, marketability, go up and down continually. In todays digital age that happens at an even faster pace. We have all heard of going viral. Like a virus something spreads across the globe. 

 I have always had an affinity for the right word. I wouldn't say I have an extensive vocabulary, it is rather limited, but I feel effective nonetheless. There are those that like to speak/write above others. Those ten dollar words we used to call them. They can be out of place and make you look foolish or pompous. Often they are employed in an attempt to give others an impression of intelligence. but in my experience those folks still say some pretty dumb stuff. The trend today however appears to be the use of profane, crude and otherwise "colorful" language in place of words with a bit more meaning. What I mean is the use of, what we called, cussing. Even government officials are using that language in their speeches these days. The governor of Maryland centered a whole campaign around, " wear the damn mask." Yes, it has been broadcast on television, posted on billboards. and taught to the children. Just wear the damn mask! What is the message however? To a child it would certainly seem like the governor is angry, and when you are angry you should cuss, it's the accepted practice. Cussing gets people's attention. I question his choice of words. Doesn't it convey a message of aggression? Seems like it to me.

 That is just one small example. There are many others if you listen. I do think that many have become desensitized to all of that. I've known people, good people, that string together those words just as a matter of course. It is the way they express themselves. Most are completely unaware of that having learned that from their parents and their peers. When I was first in the Navy it was something I noticed. Yes, they really did talk like a bunch of sailors. I saw the reason too, it is defensive language. Listen to me, I'm a tough guy, I'm serious because I use "strong" language. That attitude has permeated society in general. I just see it as a form of degeneration. A lowering of societal standards. It just isn't a good thing. It was something I was taught as a child, although I didn't understand it at the time. There was a period in my naval career that I fully participated in that as well. Yes, it was an attempt to fit in, to be accepted. After a while it became a bit of a habit, a bad habit and one I have since curbed, if not eliminated altogether. Anger can still give rise to that. 

 The words we choose do project our personality. Our speech defines us.  We've all heard someone say, he sounds smart. Many people will simply repeat whatever they have heard others say that impressed them. Those folks love to quote others, ride the coattails of those perceived to be intelligent so to speak. They point to references and sources as proof, a validation of what they said, even though they didn't say it. Their words are not from independent thought however, their words are the popular view, the accepted view, spoken or written in the accepted manner. We all choose different words depending upon the social situation we find ourselves in. That's natural and a normal thing to do. Well, I believe that used to be the case, but that practice is being abandoned in today's world. That's why we have a Governor saying. wear the damn mask. Just be aggressive! In that way you don't have to explain, you don't have to provide sound reasoning, you just order someone around. It's a form of that famous phrase your Mom would use, " because I said so, that's why. " And who hasn't heard that ? 

 I guess I'm just missing the days when people were more polite, more courteous, and far less defensive. I believe that society in general today is in defense mode. People are a little wary, just a bit afraid. That is the reason for the aggressive language. It's the, I'm not afraid, I'm not intimidated, defensive attitude I encountered while in the service. Cussing and the use of profane language is social testosterone! It is a reflection of the way society feels in general. Just a little scared.