where it is

  It has been said that a messy desk is the sign of genius. Well then, I must be a genius. A few years back I purchased a desk, to get organized. Oh I've had a few small desks, more aptly described as tables. but my new one was to be better. I have to say it is a bit more formal a desk than any other I've ever owned. Designed with a computer in mind there is a storage area for the computer tower, yes, I still use a desktop computer, book shelves and a file drawer. And, it's a mess, it's almost always a mess. Papers, cat treats, headphones, a printer, and the shelves overflowing. I looked at it this morning and that quote came to mind. I even googled that for reassurance. Mark Twain, Einstein, Steve Jobs, and others all had messy desks. I read were Einsteins' desk has been left just as he left it, a big mess. A shrine to a genius! I'm certain my desk, my papers, my clutter, will be disposed of posthaste! 

 I live in a rather small apartment and my desk is in the multi-media room. That's what I'm calling it as it contains the television and my computer, along with our cell phones, Alexa is in the kitchen. Well, it's not really Alexa as it is the Google product but I don't know the name for it. It's just Hey Google. My desk is located in the Northwest corner and dominates the room. It is my little corner of America, the place I call home. It is an amazing thing really, how far I can reach from this desk. A global reach actually. It isn't lost on me that I was raised on the edge of Northwest woods. Northwest seems to be a theme in my life. Hitchcock made a film with that title in 1959, I was six. All I know about that film is that the main character was in trouble of some sort, but it was a case of mistaken identity. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, so there is a parallel. Apparently I'm a genius, at least my desk shows that. I don't think the wife agrees though. 

 I have always thought of having a study in my home. Beaver Cleavers' dad had one and so did Steve Douglas. Steve Douglas, you may recall, was the father on My Three Sons. I've always thought of a study as a sort of throne room, I guess. An inner sanctuary for the boss! Yeah it's a power complex but still would be neat, one day, after I win the lottery. I'm thinking if I could afford all that I could afford a house keeper as well, to keep my study neat and tidy. Well, except for the desk, you shouldn't ever touch anything on my desk! I also want a fully equipped workshop, like those Bob Villa had on television. That shop would cost a few million to equip. I may one day get a "study" but a fully equipped workshop is the thing of dreams. 

 But back to this messy desk situation. I'm thinking today I may sort through some of this stuff. I did clean out the drawers a little while back. Had to put a bunch of stuff into another container and put that in the closet. Well, it's all good stuff, just not being used at the moment. I had better keep it close by though, you never know. Never can tell where my mind will wander next! That's the genius part that wanders around making new discoveries. Usually it goes north by northwest. Yeah, I know, that's left field. But whatever "it" is, it is out there. That's what they say isn't it? He's out in left field and the implication is, that's a bad thing. It isn't, that's where "it" is, whatever it is. And that, is the genius of it.     

believing

  On Sunday mornings I usually watch two shows on Maryland Public Television. One is Song of the Mountains hosted by Tim White. I enjoy watching the lesser known performers on the Bluegrass/Traditional music circuit. Many are very talented musicians. Following that is Austin City limits. That show has a wide variety of performers, most are on the Indie circuit. At least I believe that is what they call that. Independent artists chasing their dreams. Not being a musician myself, or involved in the business in any fashion whatsoever, it is all a mystery to me. But Austin City limits has been a springboard for some. Stevie Ray Vaughn comes to mind as one of those performers. I'm certain there have been many more.

  Yesterday I watched both shows as usual. I couldn't tell you the name of the group featured on Song of the Mountains or the young lady featured on Austin City limits, both names escape me. On Song of the Mountains it was a traditional group with guitar, banjo, mandolin, fiddle and bass. It was that high lonesome sound. Accomplished instrumentalists. The singing wasn't bad either. Then Austin City limits came on. It was a young lady that had a band backing her, although they weren't highlighted at any point, the focus was on her. She was what I call a "prop" singer. Dressed in tights, a tee shirt, sneakers and wearing knee and elbow pads, she was quite active on the stage. Her "prop" was an ordinary kitchen table and a chair. At various points in the performance, she was lying on it, standing on it, hiding behind it and moving it about. She performed different stunts with the chair as well. Her vocal quality was what I would call lounge quality. Not bad, but nothing exceptional. I would describe her music as "beatnik" style, a throwback in my mind to the 1960's in the Village. Groovy man, with lyrics that were meant to send a message. I have to admit she was expressive.

 As I watched her perform, I thought to myself, she is there by believing. What I mean is, she has a deep belief in her herself and in her music. Although I would call what she does unconventional, and a bit strange, she certainly doesn't. You can see it in her face and demeanor, she believes she is good! I have seen others the same way at different fairs, functions and shows. Those with a self confidence, a belief in their ability. I recall talking to a couple that traveled around giving puppet shows. To listen to them, their art, was to be taken quite seriously. They certainly thought it was very serious business. To me, it was an amateurish thing, good enough to entertain small children but not ready for the stage. I watched a dancer at the carnival one time, doing an interpretive dance. My thought was, you could interpret that as dancing. But it was obvious to me she felt like a talent. It is a matter of self confidence, of believing in yourself.

 There is a part of me that admires those folks. I wonder where you get that confidence from. Another part wonders how you can so delude yourself. I'm thinking it is all a matter of belief, of believing in yourself in the face of everything. I suppose it could be said of me as well. I do compose these blogs and have written "poetry" that I believe others may want to read. That is a bit of self-belief. I admit it is easier to do when you don't have to face an audience, a live performance. I was asked to speak once, in public, and found it quite difficult to do. I stumbled through it. Was it a great oration? No, I'd say it left some wondering, what did he say? 

 My delusion is a simple one, I think that my "works" will gain appreciation after I'm gone. That seems to happen to a good number of artists. You don't appreciate what you have, till it's gone. I also believe that some gain success just by believing, by sheer force of will. By the willingness to put it all out there, and believe in it wholeheartedly while doing so. A sort of tunnel vision. Like "dancing" as though no one is looking." Of course, the problem with that is. I don't believe I will ever know if I am right. Validation is what I'm thinking about. We all require a degree of validation. 

 Perhaps the difference is simply the length one will go to receive that validation. Is drive a measure of insecurity? It does appear that a lot of "successful" people wind up unhappy with themselves. But that's just a perception I have. But then I have to ask, who is successful and how do I measure that? I'm thinking as long as I am content, I am successful. It is up to each of us to choose the measure, the standard. Others will judge us against their standard. Yes, I think most things are just a matter of belief. The longer I live, the more convinced I become of that. 

preservation

  I have compiled a family tree as best as I could. I'm certain there are mistakes with the ancestors. Only having facts can be misleading, there are secrets in history. Sometimes we manage to uncover them, sometimes they just remain. No matter the case I did spend many hours of looking and filling in the blanks. I found newspaper articles, obituaries, announcements and even pictures. I learned a lot of new names. And now, after all these years of doing so, I'm thinking I may have satisfied my curiosity. What I haven't decided on is what to do with it. It makes for some dry reading that much is certain. It's like reading the beginning of the Bible with all that begetting! Not only confusing but a bit boring as well. 

  I have this thought though. I'm thinking of writing about the people in that tree that I knew personally. With the recent passing of my Mother I'm thinking that might be a good idea. What I have in mind in a general description of that person, from my perspective of course, something to give life to that person. You know how others will ask you about your parents, siblings, and others? That is what I'm thinking about. I think it would be a bit of a challenge though, to write a synopsis of their personality. I wouldn't want to do anyone an injustice by recording a biased view. On the other hand, I don't see where I could write anything else. Is it possible to be completely objective with those folks that you knew and loved? Can you be completely objective with yourself?

  I'm thinking that in order to do that I should have a list of questions to be answered. If you never knew a person, what would you want to know about them? I'm talking beyond the obvious questions like their occupation, marital status, and where they lived. I'm wondering about their personality, their likes and dislikes. I guess I mean their philosophical bent. The things that aren't facts but judgments, assumptions and impressions. That is how others see each of us. That's how we appear to be. It may or may not be the way we see ourselves. For that reason, I think I would only write about those that have passed. A sort of biography I suppose. Not a eulogy or elegy, something more complete than those. Dare I say, more honest than either of the two. We do tend to "memorialize" and "idolize" those that have passed. My grandmother Bennett firmly believed in never speaking ill of the dead. And by ill, she meant anything less than complimentary. It's old wisdom and one of compassion. For that reason, I question whether I should do that or not. As time passes, we can become detached from that compassion and I believe that is a good thing. If we never recorded the bad, we would surely be a great deal more ignorant than we already are. Still, there are those that refuse to learn those lessons from the past, or past examples. Those folks often go for something different, not necessarily something better. But all that is for another time. 

 I just want to record more than facts. It's my thinking that including some biographies of those I knew would add some interest. I have pictures of all those folks of course. I do have pictures of the great grandparents, the earliest family I knew. I also have pictures of many of them that I never knew at all. Those folks remain mysterious to me, with questions unanswered. And there is the question of friends. Friends to my parents, friends to my siblings and friends to myself. All those folks have exerted some influence over the years. Perhaps I should include them in the "story" of my family tree. They are integral to the story. 

  But then again, I think maybe all this has to do with preserving my memories. I do wonder, who will remember? The truth is, I am the only one that remember my memories. The best I could do would be to write them done for others to read. I just question who would want to read my memoir? I'm thinking it wouldn't be anyone that knew me, after all, they knew me. And if you never knew me, why would you want to read about me? I'm not rich, famous or even notorious. Nothing to see here! Well, it is something to think about anyway.     

a place of innocence

  The circle of life. We have all heard that history repeats itself, proof that life is a circle. From dust we came and all return to the dust. That's a Biblical passage and a statement of truth. What's old is new again is another familiar adage. A version of that can also be found in the Bible. I'm certain that observation was made as early as recorded history. With this being the Christmas season my thoughts went to that, and gift giving. Really I was thinking about the gifts I received over the years, inspired by the gifts I was purchasing to give to others. As I bought some bath towels as a gift for my grandson and his fiancé it occurred to me. The gifts we receive are in a cycle as well. He has reached the "adult" gift receiving period in life. What I mean by that is receiving those gifts that others feel would be useful or needed by you. Toys, not so much. Household items, the practical items necessary for living, are what are given. There are exceptions of course, but for the most part you get what others feel you need more so than what you want. What you want is probably outside of their budget anyway, unless your family is wealthy. I can't speak to that, having absolutely no experience with that. I was raised with the. "homemade gifts mean the most narrative". It's what we tell our children and ourselves. 

  When we are babies unaware of any such thing as gifts or Christmas we are given what? A few toys, a rattle or a stuffed animal, stuff like that. The majority of what we receive will be useful items. Clothes, shoes, blankets, a crib perhaps. those sort of things. We get older and start to get those toys, the things that we want. We tell Santa, and anyone else who will listen what we want. Yeah, Mom and Dad will give you socks and underwear but the bulk will be the items you wanted, within a reasonable price range. Each year we gain an understanding of cost and so modify our requests. The bar gets lowered. At some point we stop telling altogether answering with, I don't know, or I don't need anything. That's when you start getting the really practical things; again; just like when you were a baby. Live long enough and you might start needing some of those things again, like diapers, warm blankets. You might even start wishing for all your teeth, not just the front one. Yup, it's a circle alright.

  There are those folks that go with the handmade philosophy, even today. But with the internet we can easily purchase those hand crafted items too. I know I have done that myself, lacking the talent to create the product I wish to give. No one wants a blog! Still, I can't help but notice the proliferation of " professional grade" products. I get it, it is a marketing thing for the most part, the implication being this product is made of the finest materials. The product is durable, the best you can get! If it is professional grade you can use to make your living. 

  Ironically, we purchase hand made products, made by others, so the product we are giving has that professional grade quality. Handmade has an inherent quality, flaws. If the handmade item doesn't have flaws, it was probably made by a professional. Are there professional crafters? Yes, there are, and in great numbers these days. So, what constitutes handmade? Is it simply that no machine was used in the production? I think you could say that, although a professional could still be the producing the item. Are you a professional the moment you sell your product? Yes, I guess you are. You are a professional whatever, the moment you are paid to be that person, whether it is a janitor or a pilot. I hold a commercial driver's license, am I a professional when driving my privately owned vehicle? I am if I'm a professional driver. 

 Well handmade items, made by a professional, are the best in quality but not in sentiment. And that is also something that travels in a circle. Ask any grandparent about the best gifts. Most will tell you anything their small children gave to them holds the most sentiment. That is because it was an exchange of innocence. The drawing, the trinket, the whatever they thought to give to you was chosen from a place of innocence. It is a true gift, the gift of love. A gift with the true spirit of giving something of oneself. The sentiment being, to make another happy. Those are the very best gifts of all. They define, it is better to give, than to receive. It is giving something a person needs, not necessarily, what they want.          

it's unsettling

  Migrants or invaders? That is the burning question today. In yesterdays' posting I touched upon that subject in a rather oblique way. I was talking about my ancestors, Europeans, migrating to a new land. I described an incident from history from the perspective of a legacy. It is a portion of my legacy, as near as I can tell. As closely related to that incident as to those claiming to be affected by slavery today. A moment in time. A time involving migrants and the native peoples. The only real difference is today the Europeans are the natives and the migrants are those mostly from the southern regions of the Americas. The cause of the friction however is basically the same. Control of the territory. It is just another example of history repeating itself. It appears that this time the Europeans will be outnumbered.

  In yesterday's posting I mentioned how the natives attacked the migrants/settlers. The reason for doing so was being unwilling to make any further compromises. The natives had exchanged land, meaning they would allow the settlers to live there without fear of being attacked, in exchange for trade goods. These migrant people did have things the natives desired. Things like alcohol, tools, and ammunition. After a while however the natives felt the settlers were getting too greedy. In short, they no longer wanted to give up the land in exchange for those goods. They decided to forcibly remove the settlers. As one could expect, war broke out. Yes, that's the way it happened. Initially the natives met with some success even though the settlers had superior weapons. But, sheer numbers would prevail in the long haul. 

  Now the same thing is happening today. The migrants are invading the land, acquiring "property" and becoming increasingly unwilling to make any compromise for that property. Indeed, there is an expectation that they will be adopted into the "tribe" and taken care of without any compromise whatsoever. That is what we are seeing with the imposition of culture as the justification for their habitation. They are of a different tribe(s) but wish to be included as members of the tribe currently in residence. 

  So what compromise is being resisted? Assimilation to the culture is the answer to that. If one wishes to be an American, one has to become American. Theodore Rosevelt expressed that sentiment in 1907. I'm certain you have read that in meme's and various other postings on social media. We have an influx of refugees/immigrants/migrants or settlers depending upon your view crowding the natives. Yes, we Americans are the natives this time. It is a source of debate among scholars just who was here first. If you are in the camp that says humans arrived in north America by crossing a land bridge those people came from Europe. So Europeans were here first. But other scholars say all humans came up out of Africa, so then Africans were first. Each generation displacing the one previous until we have arrived at North America being inhabited primarily by Europeans. The United States being primarily English, or more broadly white people. And that too is a source of friction. The natives before us weren't too happy with the white guys either, they were just as prejudiced as any other ethnic group. There was a cultural divide even then. It's interesting to note that many of the Native tribes believed that no one could own the land, so trading land for goods seemed like a great deal to them. What they really were trading was, we won't kill you in exchange for your goods. Then having gotten enough of the goods, they decided to just take the land back by warfare, the way they had always acquired control of land. You could say it was a tradition with them. 

  That was the very reason there was no unified Indian Nation, rather different tribes scattered across the continent. In the early part of the 1800's Tecumseh, an Indian chief, attempted to unite the tribes west of the Appalachian Mountains into one tribe/nation. He failed in that attempt. Later, other leaders attempted to have tribes at least work together to fight the white guys but that didn't work out either. In the end, outnumbered, all the tribes had to surrender. Had the Indians been successful in establishing "E pluribus Unum" the results would most certainly have been different. Of course, that is just speculation as the white guys just kept coming! We have the same thing today; they just keep coming. 

  Will the white guys be eliminated over time? Will they be absorbed into a bigger whole? The divide we are seeing is one of culture, same as always. The real question is will man one day be a single culture? That is what is hinted at in Star Trek and other Sci-Fi stories. All humans, no matter their physical appearance, basically motivated by the same wants and desires. Co-existing peacefully but still opposed by those that don't agree. So that is the enigma, isn't it? There will always be invaders, Klingons or whatever to upset that balance. of power. 

  If we carry that logic out to its' conclusion what ethnic group will dominant? By sheer numbers that would be the Han Chinese. That ethnic group far outnumbers all others. The Chinese people would be the dominate force with their cultural traditions. Now it is a matter of history that China and its' peoples remained isolated and distant for a significant period in history. Contact was made in the 1600's although as with most historical events the date is debated and changed frequently. There is concern today that the Chinese will "take over" the world! With weapons equal to our own, they have the advantage of numbers. The reason we used the Atomic bomb to defeat Japan concerned sheer numbers. A superior weapon did the trick. We may have won without that but the loss of life would have been far greater. The war itself would have continued on for a very long time. Remember those natives? They eventually had the same weaponry as the white guys but what they lacked was numbers. They lost the battle. Was it prejudicial on their part to defend their land? If not, why is it prejudicial for Americans to want to protect their land? Americans are a cultural group, not an ethnic group. Is one culture prejudiced against another? Yup, sometimes they are, we call it differences though. We call it that because we have to allow all cultures to exist but we don't have to like them. We don't have to embrace them. Just as it has been said we must allow all religions because each man must find the path to God in bis own way. One culture displacing another. It's quite unsettling. The opposite of settling. Can settlers do that? Be unsettling I mean? Yup, sure can.      

a history of thanks

  Happy Thanksgiving. On this day of thanks for all the blessings received I can't help but think back on history. I'm remembering how my ancestors, migrants to a new land, struggled mightily against the elements and hostile natives, to find safe haven. There were some natives that helped, in exchange for whatever goods the migrants could supply them, mostly tools and trinkets. Grateful for the little help they did receive those ancestors of mine invited the natives to a feast. Well, the truth is they invited the Chief and a few tribal leaders. There was a misunderstanding however and the whole tribe showed up. They stayed for days, drinking, playing games, and eating everything in sight. There were quite the rowdy bunch, those guests sure were different. Still, they were tolerated and extended every courtesy. 

  Having an interest in history I have read a great deal about all of that. Now an interesting event took place although it occurred a bit later than the first migration of Europeans to this new world. This took place in 1678 in Lancaster, Mass. My 8th great granduncle, George Bennett, along his wife Lydia and their five children, got caught up in a war. This war is called Phillips War by historians. This Phillip was chief of the Wampanog tribe. Now the migrants, that would be my ancestors had converted some of the natives to Christianity. It was these Christian Indians that reported to the settlers that the Nipmuck tribe planned to attack the settlers. It has been said that Phillip himself ordered the killing of the Indian reporting that. You see Phillip was a friend and ally to Wampanog, cheif of the Nipmucks. Then the settlers took three other natives into custody, held a trial and convicted them. They executed them! And as a result, on August 22 in 1675, the natives attacked the settlement. They killed George Bennett and seven others. By the following year the settlement had been abandoned.

 I haven't found any historical proof but it is my belief that my ancestors, Samuel Bennett born at Squaw Cove in August of  1771, my fourth great granduncle, is descended from that George Bennett killed at Lancaster. I believe that George Bennett's' widow, along with her five children subsequently moved to Long Island. They settled at Squaw Cove. It is well known that the Long Island Indians were a peaceful bunch and seems likely a safer place to settle. Now old Samuael born at Squaw Cove less than a hundred years later had a middle name. That name was George. Just a coincidence? Perhaps, but his father was also named Samuel, not unusual. His father was Samuel George Bennett. 

 There is a letter written by George's widow Lydia, requesting help from the leaders of the colony. I couldn't find an answer to that letter. Perhaps she did receive help and was relocated to Long Island, a much safer area. It does seem likely. Lancaster isn't far from Boston. From Boston it would be an easy sail to Eastern Long Island. The area had been inhabited by colonists since 1640. In 1648 Long Island was officially recognized as a colony, independent of itself. Other than Lion Gardnier who had purchased his Island from the natives, the other settlers came from Massachusetts. Circumstantial perhaps, but seems reasonable enough to me. By 1675 Long Island was a thriving community. One reason for settling at Squaw Cove would have been all the town lots were spoken for, along with a good number of lots close to the village. Squaw cove would have been available for the "poor" families, those arriving later than the original families. One of the original families were Bennetts as well. That Bennett family sold their property in the village early on though. It's possible Samuel Bennett is descended from them, although I don't think that is the case. 

 Well, whatever the truth is I will most likely never know for certain. As far as I know none of my ancestors were Pilgrims. The Pilgrims being the puritans that first ventured to this land. It was a migration at first viewed with curiosity, followed by mutual trade. Then relationships became strained. It became a struggle for cultural control of the continent. The Europeans outnumbered the natives in the end. The English predominant in what is now America, the French to the north, and the Spanish to the south. 

 That is how I write my history in America. I figure I might as well write my version as everyone else seems to be doing that. It's a story of migration followed by settlement. That's what you do when you quit migrating. When you reach your destination, you settle down. Today we are talking about migrating into space. We will one day and settle down someplace. I'm thinking we better pack a Turkey because they may not have one wherever we go. There is some discussion among scholars about whether there was turkey served at that first thanksgiving. The wampanog tribe brought five deer, that much is known for certain. Yup, later that same tribe killed George Bennett! It had only been fifty years since the first Thanksgiving when that happened. Just a couple generations. The reason for the attack? It was recorded that the natives didn't want to make any more concessions on land or trade agreements. They decided to just kill the migrants and take everything back. It worked at Lancaster, for a time. 

Happy Thanksgiving.       

that's fair

  Saw a meme yesterday calling for the end of "legacy" admissions to colleges and universities. The narrative was, of course, it isn't fair. I felt compelled to explain a simple thing that perhaps some had missed, colleges and universities are a business. Yes, they operate on a, for profit, basis. As such, they can control how and with whom they do business, within the constraints of what is lawful. Should they choose to participate in issuing a specified number of "legacy" admission they have every right to do so. It's their business!

  After posting my comment concerning that I did get a reply. This individual thanked me, sarcastically, for telling the truth that those schools operate for profit and that it is all about the money. I replied, also in a sarcastic tone, that telling the truth required no thanks I wondered if he was surprised by that. I wonder if this person has come to understand that the whole world is about the money. Money equates to power. It really is that simple and basic. Throughout all of recorded history it has been that way. It is only the defining of what that "money" is that changes. Whatever money is, it controls people, people do not control money. Today money represents what? The ability to acquire products, goods, and services. I give you money, you give me a product. Not any different than trading rocks, beads, tomahawks, animal pelts or corn. It takes money to live. 

  I find it amusing. On one hand "legacy" admissions are unfair, but admissions based on "affirmative action" initiatives' are not. I should be admitted to the school because of my race, creed, religion, family history, and a litany of other "disadvantages", but being admitted because my parents attended that school is unfair. Is it fair that I was born disadvantaged? No, that's not fair and for that I should receive special consideration! Is it fair that I was born to parents that attended that school? No, that's not fair and for that I should receive special consideration! That's how it works, right? Or are you trying to say it only works when the perceived advantage is in your favor?

  This individual did go on to say that admissions should only be based on scores. The top scores get in the door, that's fair. Hmm, ever wonder why they developed other admission standards? Do you think it could be that the business realized they needed the, shall we say, less gifted as well? Let's face it, top athletes aren't always the top scholars. Guess where the lions' share of funding comes from? Sports programs and alumni support of those programs. No alumni wear jerseys sporting the top academic scholars from their school. There had to be a way to "admit" those that couldn't excel in academics; IE: the highest scores, into the college or university. The scholarship program was developed. You can grant all types of scholarships, that's fair. Does anyone really believe that Jackie Robinson was signed and admitted into major league baseball out of a sense of fairness. The truth is, he was a tremendous player and would benefit the team. The team would win! Winning means money. In the acquisition of money, just about everything else takes a back seat. Race, creed, color, political affiliation, none of that matters if I can make money from you. If I can increase my profit. 

  The same thing continues today. If something is profitable it will be allowed, eventually. Hey we are killing babies now, as a choice. It's also profitable. Legalized gambling has spread across the nation in the form of lotteries. Quite the profitable thing for the various states and I predict only a matter of time before the federal government cashes in on that market. For now, the fed is satisfied collecting taxes off that revenue stream. Marijuana sales are booming for the same reason, money to be made. Hey, people are going to use it anyway. The government tried prohibition and we all know how that turned out. They haven't attempted to ban the sale of tobacco products have they? Prostitution, of if you prefer sex workers, can't be far from legalization. It's only a matter of figuring out the method of collecting the profits. Money and morality are separate entities altogether. One does not align with the other. Well until morality becomes profitable that is. But that is another topic. I really do wonder how so many can remain so naive about life. It isn't fair, the world isn't fair. it will never be fair. The best you can do is; treat others fairly.   

one man's junk

  How much sentiment do you attach to objects? I would say I tend to attach sentiment to objects that were owned by others that I knew and loved, more than objects I have purchased for myself. It is those objects that I have concern for, after I'm gone. I have a few items from my youth that sit on a shelf in the corner or tucked away somewhere. I have discovered the older I get the more likely I am to pull those things out and display them. I guess it is a subconscious thing. I'm guessing the head doctors would have a theory about all of that. My theory is one of transference. I'm hoping others will see those things, ask about them, and attach some significance to them. That is what sentiment is all about, significance.

  You see I have this theory about all of this stuff. Maybe it developed after working for the town of Ridgely. As part of my duties, I was tasked with picking up what was called "rubble" in the alley's. Rubble was simply unwanted items of all types. There were a few restrictions, no major appliances, no hazardous waste, paint and that sort of stuff. Occasionally someone would pass away and their home would be cleaned out. There in the alley I would see "sentiment" being discarded. Old photographs, bris a brac, nick knacks, and other objects. World's greatest grandpa or drawings made by small children, that sort of thing may be included. Those objects having no sentimental attachment to the one discarding them. Just old junk.

  My theory about that stuff is a simple one. People are not attached to objects that belonged to people they never knew or loved. For that reason, they can, and will, unpassionately discard those things. Only if there is a monetary value to those objects will they be retained. Yes, one man's junk. Now it gets a bit more complicated than that. I have my sentimental objects that belonged to some of my ancestors and a few that belonged to friends. My children have never met any of those folks. All they know are a few stories I have told. The objects themselves they would have no attachment too, unless I develop an attachment for them through my displaying them, or explaining their significance. Even then, it is my feeling that the attachment will be tenuous, at best. And I am aware that not everyone attaches sentiment to objects as readily as I. 

 I do have stuff around that is sentimental to me that most would have discarded long ago. I do hesitate to discard things that were given to me. If it something I purchased myself I feel free to act as I want. It's not that way with gifts I have received. I feel like I should retain them. Well at least the durable goods that is. Every once in a while, I will clean out some of the clutter. Clutter are those objects that have lost their sentimentality or usefulness. That is what I would see in those alleys, only on a larger scale. I didn't just see clutter or junk; I often saw sentiment. I was always reminded of the story of the Velveteen Rabbit. Once treasured objects loved and admired by their owners now coldly discarded in the trash. No chance for them to become real, to live again. Their lives, their usefulness, their sentiment exhausted. Soon to be forgotten, forever. 

 What I'm thinking about, trying to say, is, when it comes time to pack up my life what objects go into the trunk? Yes, it bothers me that I don't get to choose. If I could I would be like the Pharoah's of Egypt and take it all with me. But I don't get a choice, someone else will make that decision. My life will be sorted through in the end and parts retained and parts discarded. 

 But do I have any one object that couldn't be purchased at any price? No, the honest answer is no. That isn't to say everything is for sale, just that everything does have a price. I'm not that much of an idealist. Sentiment is a wonderful thing, a comfort no doubt, but practicality enters the picture. You can purchase a piece of my sentiment but it isn't cheap! I mean, after all, I can't take it with me. Even if I did, someone would rob me and all I could do is lie there! They might even put my corpse on display in a museum somewhere. From sentiment to curiosity. That's the way it goes.      

broken promises

  More people have received the vaccine. Booster shots are being given out. And there is a spike in cases. Wait, what? Yup that's what I heard on the news this morning. The more we vaccinate the more cases are cropping up. The timing is perfect, just before the holiday season really kicks in. Perhaps the government can restrict our holidays once again, further clinching control. Now they did report there are more cases in the hospital over the last few weeks and that most cases aren't quite as severe, but there is a surge! Better think about staying home, staying socially distant. Don't be driving those cars anywhere, that'll ease your anger over the gas prices. I'm just wishing we had a gas shortage like the turkey shortage they are reporting, I paid eight eighty cents a pound for mine. 

 The build back broke plan still has to receive the approval of the Senate. That should be quite a struggle and one I hope fails. You know all ties in the Senate are settled by the vice president. Remember in 1993 when that happened? It was Al Gore passing the legislation to increase the tax on social security. Yes, that's the truth of the matter. After Al invented the internet, he also wanted to raise taxes to fund the omnibus budget-reconciliation act. In that effort he raised the taxable amount of social security from 50% to 85%. This legislation, signed into law by Bill Clinton was to reduce the federal deficit. It was a real roaring success! Bidens' build back broke plan is an extension of that same philosophy. He plans to reduce the federal deficit, balance the budget, and create a robust economy by going into debt heavily. The plan is a few trillion dollars ought to do it. It made it through the house utilizing the threat that they couldn't go home for Thanksgiving unless the bill was approved. Yes, that was the main impetus, approve this or no Thanksgiving dinner for you! That bill would still be being debated if not for that, and that is a simple truth.

 So far what has been built? A wall around DC? Well at least fencing around the white house. I'm certain a few statues have been torn down, and some replaced with new hero's. Pfizer, Moderna and J&J are doing booming business. I hear Pfizer is even going to allow a generic version of their product to be produced for use in the "poor" countries. The United States will pick up the tab having earned a discount from big pharma, sorta a customer loyalty program. The government plans on building Pfizer a new facility just for that very purpose. A little Quid pro quo? No, that's is for the benefit of mankind, I mean humankind, or is it personkind, or whatever you identify as kind. Yeah, nothing to see here, move on. 

 I wonder can control of the distribution system be far behind all of this? It's a great way to control the population you know. When you can withhold, or at least delay, the availability of goods you have power. People want what they want, when they want it! What are you hearing on the news? You may or may not get your packages on time. The ports are backed up, there is a shortage of truckers, and supplies are low! What isn't being said, out loud, is that the government will step in to control the flow of goods. The government will decide who, what, where, when, and how. It will become an "essential" service of government. You have already seen that whether you were aware of it or not. Remember when the government decided what business was "essential?" Mom and Pop certainly weren't included in that. The liquor stores were essential. Walmart was essential. 

 What else was essential? No contact, electronic transfer of funds. The use of self-checkouts, a coin shortage, although I have yet to hear a single complaint about that, and using the internet for purchases. That was followed by what? A stimulus check. Then another one. It is essential to get the population used to receiving free stuff from the government. The goal is to make that the normal, expected thing. That's because that is what is going to happen in the future when the government gains full control. The objective is to gain control through electronic means, through the monitoring of your bank accounts, no escaping the greedy paws of the government! Then the building back broke plan go really go into full effect. Sleepy Joe will be replaced, having served his purpose, and a more authoritarian leader is installed! Yes, installed, because the voting system will remain broken, degraded to the point of being useless. Building back on broken promises! That is the plan. None of what this administration is proposing is viable to any rational person. It is based on pipe dreams. Pipe dreams of power. This is like watching a train wreck. It's going to be a disaster, but I can't take my eyes off it either. All I can do is hope for a switch in the mid-terms with a return to sanity. We need to stand up, and send a clear message, we are Fed Up! We the people of the United States are fed up! Enough of this nonsense.    

the passage of time

 With the holidays rushing at me I am thrown into a sentimental mood. I expect it is that way with a great deal of us. Some will be worried about getting the gifts, that will be their primary concern, while others concentrate on decorating and entertaining. The holidays have always been a family thing. With me, it has always been just the core family. No Hallmark Thanksgiving or Christmases for me. You know what I mean? No family flying in from all over the country, no big gathering, and no drama. No, it has always been a small intimate experience for me. Sentimental.

 This year will be the first Christmas without momma. She left this world eight months ago. It's a hard and sobering fact. With just one brother left the Christmases of my childhood are certainly nothing but memories now. Sadly, as hard as I try to remember, I can't. When was the last Christmas we spent together? It was certainly sometime in the last century. It's a reminder that we really never know do we? For that reason, we are often told to enjoy each moment. That is a difficult thing to do, as life has a tendency to interfere. We do get busy, don't we? The truth is we get self-absorbed at times. 

 It is a strange thing. I haven't been with my mother on Christmas day in many years. I always called her though, whenever it was possible. There were years when that wasn't. Over the years she would send along some hand-crafted items, macramé plant hangers, a few paintings, and some knitted items. I hold onto those treasures and some will be on display for Christmas. And this year I realize there will be no card, just silence. Why should that prey upon my thoughts so? Perhaps it is because it seems like a light turned out, a Christmas light. 

 That's the thing about aging. The familiar and the expected fade away. The only thing keeping them alive is our memories. No familiar card from Mother this year. There will be no phone call, no laughter about years past. It is just the expectation that she would always be there I suppose. We all tend to think that way I believe. I had gone long stretches of time when we didn't see each other or have a conversation, but she was always there. It was that way with my father, my brother and sister as well. Today I have one brother remaining. I'll call him for Christmas, something that wasn't always done as life rushed past the pair of us. 

 Now all of this may sound sad, melancholy even, but that isn't how I feel. I feel more a sense of being resigned than anything else. The acceptance of life, and the passage of time. Contentment and peace. That is what I'm trying to write about. Would I accept a do-over? Of that I can't be certain. I have so many fond memories that I wouldn't want to lose. I am grateful for what has been. You do have to accept the passage of time, no stopping or avoiding that. In so doing you have to accept whatever comes with the journey. 

Temperance

 In these blogs I share my thoughts and feelings on just about everything. I do so more for my own sanity than anything else. I do not expect to sway the feelings or thoughts of anyone else. That wasn't my purpose when I began, and it isn't my purpose today. Sure I hope others read them and enjoy them, maybe even inspire them, but certainly not to change them. I'm no activist. I'm too busy trying to remain active, as an adult. It's what the commercials on television inform me I should be. 

 I do write my thoughts through a filter, although that filter has a rather large mesh. I exercise some restraint simply because there are topics I don't feel comfortable about. There are things best left between you and your God. That is something I believe wholeheartedly. Lately however I feel like that filter has become a bit more constrained. I am left questioning myself on occasion. It's my feeling that I am being worn down. It's my feeling that is what is happening with society in general, being worn down. It is easier to just say nothing, do nothing, and start giving, at least tentatively, support to whatever comes along. It is far easier to be an "activist" when the majority supports your action. And that is doubly true when those proposed actions will benefit you in some way. Permissive is better than restrictive, right? That is certainly the prevalent attitude today.

 One method of accomplishing that is by simply renaming everything. Label the action with a positive note, even when it is known to be a negative thing. We can label carnal desires as love. In that way the action is justified, you can't say love is wrong. Doesn't change what the action really is, just makes it sounds better. Drug addiction places the blame on the drug. The blame is with the individual choosing to use that drug. Yes, sometimes people are prescribed drugs that they become addicted to, but that isn't the crisis we are facing is it? No, the crisis is the illegal use of narcotics for pleasure. Still, it's the fault of the drug, not the person. And then we should celebrate their recovery! We shouldn't blame them, hold them to account in any way, no, we should celebrate their victory. What's the message there? Not your fault.

 I have always struggled with temperance. That was true in my younger days when I was close friends with one Mr. Jack Daniels, Ezra Brooks, and a few others. I have since learned to exercise restraint, rarely indulging myself in that vice. I was also a very close friend to the Marlboro man until I had my fill of that habit. The truth of that was the company became too expensive and so I quit spending my money on that. Now I didn't require any intervention, any counseling, I just quit. It's my belief everyone is capable of that should they decide that is what they want. It doesn't require anyone "special" in any way. Like that advertising slogan, just do it. Except in this case, just don't do it. 

 And now I find myself struggling with temperance once again. This time it is in the words I write. I tell myself it doesn't matter, few read my words anyway, and what difference does it make. I justify my words by calling them the truth. My truth isn't always your truth. Truth is a subjective thing. It's a concept I struggle with constantly. Truth is not an absolute. But still I want to leave that record of my thoughts. I want that record to reflect who I really am. Being honest with yourself is possibly the hardest thing of all. Life does have a way of wearing you down. It is the exercise of temperance that leads us all to capitulate in the end. It has been said silence is consent. That is certainly the truth of the matter. I quit drinking, I quit smoking, but I can't see myself shutting up! No, that's not likely to happen anytime soon. Perhaps I will temper my speech, Facebook is trying to help with that, but I will not be silenced completely. 

building back

  For the seventh year in a row the city of Baltimore has recorded over three hundred homicides. The latest was a 69 year old lady stabbed to death while working at her church. The response is the Mayor and his entourage taking a walk through the neighborhood where that happened. The Mayor stating, the police could not have prevented that from happening. Yes basically his stance is, it's going to happen anyway. That was in response to reporters questioning his crime plan. I don't know why they are questioning that plan, it appears to be working, crime is on the rise! 

  I don't live in the city and seldom travel there, not much there of interest to me. Nothing worth risking my life for that much is certain. Every day on the news I hear about the crime and corruption taking place in Baltimore. I'm certain much the same could be said about other major cities across America. There is always much talk of how to fight that crime. The reasons for the spike in crime are often discussed as well. It's a regular litany of excuses. I really have no experience in such matters and can only speculate about such. It's my thinking when you have a population of three hundred and twenty nine million people you have to expect criminal activity. When those people are crowded into a city, either by choice or circumstance, crime will be higher. 

  I do think that promoting a culture of the thug life isn't helping anything. Now before you go off thinking I'm talking about any specific demographic, I'm not. You can see that in all demographics. Today even the cowboys are "cool" and strut around the stage in an aggressive manner. All of that ties in with what I was talking about yesterday. Accountability. The bad boy image, something to be admired. It's in the language we choose and the attitude we have adopted. We have decided to stop bullying but being a bunch of bullies! That's right, think about it. We wear "ribbons" now as a display of what? Support for a cause? No, it's a virtue signaling message for those too timid to just come right out and say something. Why don't they? Because they will most likely meet with a violent reaction. That's because you have to agree with me or I will start by calling you names and then ostracizing you! If I'm Facebook I will block you from posting altogether. You will comply with community standards! 

  The big question is how do we turn this around? How do we enforce our "community" standard? Isn't that the purpose of the law? It was certainly the thinking when the country was established. Religious practices were separated from Government decision making to further clarify boundaries. You are free to practice your religious beliefs, within the constraints of the law. It must be remembered that John Adams explained, our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. Setting aside the religious aspect, how do we define our morality as a nation? Are standards and morality one and the same? I'd say they are, but only on an individual level. On a governmental level, I would have to say no. When government standards begin to run contrary to individual morality, unrest occurs. That happens one piece of legislation at a time. 

  It isn't lost on me, Today the debate rages on to get the "build back better" plan passed through the legislators. Build back better? To know what is it that we are building back, you first you need to understand what has been destroyed. What are we building back? The official party line of this plan is to rescue, recover and rebuild. No where in the policy does it say what is being discarded, what is being destroyed. No the big promise is it will save the middle class. If you are middle class you will pay no more than 7% of your income for child care. The plan will afford access to high quality, affordable child care. Well at least those children that are allowed to be born. So basically the plan here is to, hire parents. It is not to enable parents to stay home and raise their children, but rather to hire surrogates. You know professionally trained, high quality child care specialists. That, combined with broad band access, should take care of everything. But that is just a few items in the "build back better" plan. 

  Climate change is in the build back better plan. Yes, the plan is to change the climate for the better. How are we going to do that? We will spend billions of dollars on technology, equipment and programs that will have zero results. Still a lot of money to be made, no opportunity missed. Yeah, we will rebuild the earths atmosphere. All this plan really is, is a redistribution of wealth. That's it. To build back better requires destroying the old. What is the old? Capitalism is the short answer to that. Build back better seeks to build a socialist state. A state in which the government controls goods and services through programs, oversight, and regulation. This will, of course, require compliance from who? The middle man. The wealthy are already pleased with the system. The poor people keep getting promised more free stuff, so they're good with that. But it is the middle man, the one actually providing the work, that will bear the brunt of this building back. If you take all the money from the rich people they sure won't be building any businesses or hiring any help. If you give the poor people everything for free what's their incentive to produce? It is the middle man that will pay for it all in the end. 

held to account

  I'm tired of the blame being placed on the drugs or alcohol. It's all I hear. The blame lies with the person that choses to use those substances. The cure lies with the same people as well! But all I hear is it is an opioid epidemic. No it isn't, it is an epidemic of people making bad choices. Those that recover being presented as heroes and someone to look up to. Role models for future recovering addicts. We seem to have forgotten one simple premise, you are not supposed to make stupid choices in the first place! You can not create a situation, get yourself into trouble and then become the hero for having "survived!" It doesn't work that way. It certainly isn't something to be proud of. Yet how many of those folks are on television, telling their stories, sometimes relating how they had to struggle several times, to find recovery. The way I was taught you didn't brag about your mistakes! Making mistakes was going to happen, no doubt about that, but those mistakes served a purpose. You were expected to learn and be humbled by those mistakes. The goal wasn't to survive and then brag about it. No, you learned, hope no one else knew about that mistake, and tried to move on in a better direction. 

  It's a theme these days, placing blame somewhere else. I hear guns are shooting people. No, people are shooting people using a gun. The gun itself does nothing, it is, after all an inanimate object. It does nothing without human intervention! And that intervention includes ignorance, stupidity, malice and hate. It is not the fault of the gun, it is the fault of the person using that gun. A woman doesn't want to have a baby and it is the baby that is blamed. The penalty is death! Yes, just kill the baby and that will solve the problem. Of course getting pregnant is 100% preventable, don't need anything to prevent that other than restraint, but the solution is kill the baby. We have entire law firms focused solely on placing blame and profiting from that. The coffee was hot, I slipped on the floor. my feelings were hurt. Place the blame somewhere else is the name of that game. 

  What this country needs is a return to personal accountability. A return to a sense of responsibility for yourself and for those around you. And that doesn't mean handing out charity to those that are irresponsible. A return to, you made your bed, now lie in it! That's the way I was raised. You choose your actions and you are responsible for the results. Make stupid choices, get stupid results. Yeah I am annoyed with all this shifting of the blame. And now the government is mandating an immunization, calling it a vaccine, and refusal to comply can result in the loss of your livelihood. Why? Because you are to blame if someone else gets sick! That's what they are saying. Yes, it's your fault. If you get ill following that immunization though it is just a breakthrough case, no ones fault. The maker of the drug isn't at fault because it didn't work. It works, just not all the time, that's not their fault. 

  Well I got that off my chest and I feel better for it. I'm just so tired of everyone blaming everything on someone else. Tired of hearing I'm a survivor and I recovered. Yeah well be thankful that you survived, you did so by the grace of God, it isn't your accomplishment. If you survived you were lucky to do so, take a lesson from that. Don't expect others to praise your good fortune. Work instead to not do that again. You are no hero! You are not a role model, you are an example. An example of what not to do! You should be humbled and ashamed. Of course I remember when we asked our God for forgiveness, instead of proclaiming our salvation before we have been judged. Same lesson. You are going to make mistakes, learn from them, ask for forgiveness when necessary, and hope no one knows about it. It is all up to you, except for the judgement part, that falls to others. Exercise prudence in what you put before the judge, lest you be judged a fool. Quit blaming everything else for your choices.      

just thinking

  This will be posting number four thousand. That's right, four thousand. I remember reading a blog written by someone I had gone to school with. I didn't really know that person very well but thought it was pretty amazing that I could read her words. I mean it isn't like she was a famous person or a published author, No, she was a person just like me, the everyday citizen. I made a connection with her through our mutual interest in blogging. Over the years we discovered we had differences in opinion. Eventually, as it happens, we just quit communicating with one another. It isn't just a social media thing though, that happens in real life as well. Ideological differences are the usual cause. I no longer read her blogs or see any of her postings. Ghosting I think they call that. I'm guilty of doing that as well. Of course I always called that ignoring them, something I did back in my school days as well. There were some I just ignored as I didn't fit into their social circle, not into the clique.

  Today we hear about how divisive the world has become. Nothing new to me , it has always been that way. It was just in years past we ignored those folks that annoyed us, or we just didn't get along with. I've written about all of that many times and most likely will continue to do so. I did grow up the "sticks and stones rhymes" and learned to not let that stuff bother me much. In my experience not much has changed in the world. Being on social media for over ten years now I have received validation of that. Circles I didn't fit into fifty years ago, I still don't fit into, like my jeans.

  I began writing about my memories of growing up in a small town. Then I included some thoughts, not thinking about those thoughts as philosophy. But it is that distinction that is an example of circles and cliques. I'm just writing down  things I think about, or have thought about. I call them thoughts. In other circles they would label that philosophy. I make no claim to such a lofty title. I know some make a living teaching philosophy, but I don't know anyone making a living being one. I'm thinking that ended with Socrates or Plato, some of that bunch. The modern day equivalent would have to be Dr. Phil or the authors of self help books. I'm still wondering why they are called self help books, if someone else wrote the book and you follow their advice, aren't they helping you? You didn't "write" that. 

  Over the years I have toyed with the idea of writing a book. I have discovered I really don't have much of a story to tell. I'm not interested in writing fiction, I hear enough of that everyday from our politicians and those that support them. I have some stories, a few anecdotes, and memories but not enough for a book. Maybe a flyer or a short story. The majority of what I write are just my thoughts, opinions and observations. Like I said, what some would call philosophy. I don't think many people are interested in my philosophical meanderings. For the most part people like to read the things they agree with. I'm the same way, I'm thinking that is human nature.

  As with all things my blogging has changed a bit over time. Today I would say it is more of a conversation with myself. I don't receive many comments, but I don't get many arguments either. I don't expect to change anyone's mind about anything. The truth is without having a string of degrees, or having a whole lot of money, others seldom listen to you. Either of those seem to lend credence to whatever is being said. Funny thing is, neither of those items makes someone any smarter. As my father was fond of pointing out, there are a lot of educated damn fools in the world. I've been around long enough to see the wisdom in his words and the truth of them. The truth is there a lot of damn fools in the world, period. A number of then hold positions of power, voted in by other damn fools.

  As usual when I got up I didn't have anything in particular I wanted to write about. I was aware that this would be posting number four thousand. That's a lot of words. As it turns out, I'm writing about what I have been writing about. I don't take this blogging too seriously. I try not to take myself too seriously. In the big scheme of things the things I say and do will have little impact. I'm fully aware of that. Just as I was over eleven years ago, I'm just some guy on the internet. I still think it is amazing that I can post my thoughts, and literally millions of people around the world have access to those thoughts. 

  When I do not receive any comments I remind myself how many books there are in the "bargain" section of Walmart. How many of those books go unread? And the majority of them are fiction. If you can't interest people in stories, getting them interested in your thoughts would certainly be quite the task. Well, unless I suddenly became famous for being a serial killer or something like that. Like inheriting a great deal of wealth I'm certain I would become quite popular. At that point people would claim a relationship with me no matter how tenuous that relationship may be. I'll leave you with this thought, "philosophy seeks to define morality" Well, that's what I think anyway. 

citizenship

  There has always been a part of me that can watch things totally detached. It is those observations that I often write about. I think maybe that ability comes from being the youngest of four children. Having to wait, take my turn or just be quiet. I did develop an ability to just watch. Being raised in the fifties and sixties by parents that were raised during the great depression things certainly weren't what I would describe as progressive at my house. I have retained a bit of all that, I don't think that could be avoided, nor should it. Now labeled the boomer generation the last vestiges of a racist, homophobic, and sexist past. At least that is what the internet says that means. Personally I just smile and say, whatever, I am detached from that. It really doesn't bother me at all. Sticks and stones, and all that I suppose. 

  I have been accused of lacking empathy in recent years. That wasn't the case when I was younger, in years past I was just called stoic. But that was what I was taught to be, most boomers were taught to be that way. I'm thinking the boomers are the last generation to be raised in that fashion. I'm blaming Dr. Spock, the baby Doctor. Parenting gone soft! Of course that was in the day when there were defined roles in society. A person knew what to expect. I have to say I am often caught off guard these days. When men can take maternity leave I'd say there was a shift in societal norms. When I point that out I'm called a homophobe. I say I'm just pointing out a truth. 

  Now I do believe this change in society, the redefining of roles and all that, isn't going to lead to anything good. It can only lead to chaos. You can not lead by emotions, by your feelings. It's a recurring theme, this requirement for rules. I am a firm believer in law and order, in discipline. Discipline requires self denial! We often think of discipline as punishment, but it is not, it is restraint. If one obeys the rules, there is no punishment, hence discipline is maintained. It is the lack of discipline that necessitates punishment. The collapse of government will ultimately be the punishment for society in general. Government should be for the common good! And that, that is the purpose of government. To govern, to restrain. Government does not exist to reward, government exists to restrain. 

  I do watch, detached on occasion, and form judgements. Judgements are not verdicts however, a distinction often lost on people these days. I can judge the right and wrong of things without condemnation. I do not like Lima beans yet feel no need to restrict anyone else from eating them. I love Lobster but feel no need to wear a ribbon in support of that. I just stand there, detached and judge what I like and what I don't like. There are times I don't like the rules, same as everyone else. Still I realize the necessity for those rules, for that restraint. And that restraint applies to me! It is a personal responsibility. It is what we boomers were taught as "citizenship" all those years ago. I remember getting graded on citizenship when in elementary school. Really it was a grade in how well you followed the rules, as any good citizen would. I question what is being taught today as citizenship, although I admit I have little knowledge about the curriculum. This Critical Race Theory appears to be dominating the conversation at this time. A theory that basically says the founding fathers were terrible people and worse citizens! Well, basically all Europeans and their descendants fall into that characterization. But the intent of those founding fathers was to exercise restraint. 

  Restraint on Government by the citizens of that government. What a novel idea? No, not really it had been tried before and ended in collapse. It ended when the citizens let the government go unrestrained! And how did they do that? By supporting emotional choices rather than practical and pragmatic ones. Choices that run contrary to common sense and to the natural order of things. That's happening as I write these thoughts, detached, and just sharing my observations. I see it in finance, religion, and government.    

making a change

  Racism. I hear it all the time now, "end racism." I hear editorials, testimonials and slogans concerning the issue of racism. I see it printed on the back of football helmets, sports jerseys and athletic shoes. The virtue signaling beaming out like the Bat signal! One can't argue with the sentiment of the message, racism is just wrong. The real issue with racism however isn't race, it's human emotions. A natural inborn, ingrained thing in the human psyche. If someone is different than yourself, you are curious, cautious, and ultimately suspicious. What is being touted as racism today is really perceived cultural differences. I say perceived because it is what we "see" as the truth, not necessarily what really is. To compound the situation often those perceptions are declared as "cultural" by the ones being perceived. Then the narrative becomes one of culture, and acceptance of that culture. Culture and race are not the same thing! That is the big confusion in my opinion. 

  But the mantra is end racism. Just how do we accomplish that? The only way it would disappear completely is if we were all the same race. But wait a second, we are! We are all Homo Sapiens in the scientific world, and we are being told to trust the science. So trusting the science it can't be a matter of race. That leaves what? Culture has to be the answer. And what comprises culture? The art, customs, traditions, and intellectual achievements of a nation or group of individuals. The difficulty lies in different cultures co-habituating the same town, state, or nation. So what needs to be ended isn't racism, it is cultural diversity. That's the only way complete and utter harmony will exist. 

 That isn't likely to happen! It could only exist on the mythical planet of Vulcan were everything is settled by pure logic. Homo Sapiens do not operate on logic alone, it is our emotional responses that motivate men. It is as I have pointed out on numerous occasions, "emotions are great motivators, but seldom good guides." As long as man reacts in an emotional way, conflict will be the result. When we project our culture upon others while rejecting theirs, conflict is the result every single time. So what is being said is a misnomer, the slogan should be, end cultural diversity! If we all share a common culture, conflict become minimal. It will never disappear completely as we humans are naturally competitive with one another.

 You could say this push for "common core" curriculum in the education system is an attempt at just that. If everyone is taught the same "truth" there should be no disagreement. Of course that requires a bit of a rewrite as far as historical facts go but we can make the story more palatable. It's a method of appeasement. What is the objective? Everyone is on the same page. It also requires you to overlook that every great civilization enjoyed cultural unity at the height of their progress. But then a change was initiated, diversity crept in, eventually acceptance of that diversity, and the collapse of the culture. The race of the people didn't collapse or change, the culture did.

  The bottom line as far as civilizations go isn't pretty. The most successful ones always subjugate other cultures, either incorporating them into the society or destroying them completely. America was called the great melting pot at one point in time. That is no longer the case. It was a melting pot when people from different cultures came to this land and melted into the culture of this nation. They did adopt the culture that is America. And yes that culture came from mostly European nations. A common religious belief being the primary motivator, along with the promise of prosperity. The latter statement could be debated as far as motivation goes, perhaps it was the promise of prosperity that was the prime motivator? It doesn't matter much though, the goal was a common culture. 

  The culture, meaning the nation, will cease to exist when there is no longer a commonality in the peoples. When each group begins to set themselves apart from the others, fragmentation is the result. Each group begins to struggle for power, for control over the society. Rules are changed, modified or completely abandoned. The reasoning will always be the same, it's progress, it's making things better. When cultures begin to allow anti-cultural sentiments and actions the culture begins to erode. Consider a simple premise. In our American cultural heritage the right to life is sacred. Yet, we have passed legislation contrary to that premise. A shift in culture? A marriage was a man and a woman, that went unquestioned for a couple hundred years in America, in our culture. Today that isn't the case, at least not in a legal sense. Indeed we have religious leaders performing the ceremony. A cultural shift? And now we have decided that the color of your skin defines your race and your culture. If any offense is committed against you by anyone of a different color, it is a racial thing. Even when those of the same color attack each other, it is because of a different colored people causing the problems. It is a racial issue! Yup, that's correct however, because we are all the same race. End cultural diversity and everyone gets along just fine. No one wants to do that though, lest it is their culture being discarded. Wars are fought over such. History is the proof, read it, understand it. Man, the human race, hasn't changed much over the centuries, it is culture that changes.        

living and learning

  Went to the store yesterday and saw Brussel sprouts on a stalk. I admit to having never seen that before. In sixty seven years I have never seen brussel sprouts grown. In my defense I have never went looking for them or really given that a thought. Well, I remember a time I thought pineapples grew in trees too. But as I always say, I'm no farmer. I'm certain we would all starve to dearth if that were the case. Could have tomatoes and peppers though, I have grown them. But anyway, I saw those in the store and just had to buy a stalk. I do like brussel sprouts. But my thought at the time was to take a picture of them and post it to Facebook. To my surprise seems like everyone else was well aware of how brussel sprouts were grown. I wound up feeling a bit silly. Who knew? Apparently everyone else. 

  It was amusing though and I learned a few things. I was made aware once again of the things we may take as everyday, may not be to someone else. I felt like I had discovered something that perhaps many others didn't know. When we feel that way we do think we have some secret knowledge. Somehow having secret knowledge makes us feel superior to others. It's a strange thing in the human psyche don't you think? Unless I'm the only one that feels that way that is. I don't think that is the case however, it's the appeal of game shows like Family Feud and Jeopardy. Do you have the answers? Yesterday I didn't know the answer. Well, I thought others may not know that answer. I was wrong. 

  Being a mechanically inclined person I just naturally have an interest in tools. I'm certain I could identify tools and their uses with anyone. There really are a wide variety of tools employed in the various trades. Over the years some of those tools have become obsolete and may not be recognized by the younger folks. Even the names of them may elude some. I have a brace and bit hanging on the wall. Don't see many of those anymore or yankee screwdrivers. Those are just two examples. Put me on a farm and I would be lost though. Oh, I recognize a tractor when I see one and a combine, but there are plenty of mysterious pieces of machinery I have no clue about. As far as planting or harvesting any crop I'm certain that is would be hilarious to even the most novice of farmers. No clue about any of that. I could hang with the carpenters, plumbers and electricians though, as a journeymen at least. At least I would know what they were talking about and recognize the tools.

  I did learn some stuff from my Dad. Now anyone that ever knew him would tell you he was a very talented man. He could build and repair just about anything. A regular jack of all trades I would say. The only thing different was he was practically a master at them all. Still, and I'd say I inherited this from him, he grew bored with doing the same type of work every day and changed occupations often. Oh, he was always employed, just not dedicated to one profession. The thing with him though, he thought everyone else knew what he knew. When working with him he was not a patient man, he expected you to know. I have several anecdotes I can tell about working with him and his feeling that I should have known exactly what he was talking about. As he was prone to say, any damn fool would have known that. Sometimes I was the damn fool that didn't. Yesterday I was the damn fool that didn't know brussel sprouts grew on a stalk. Well, live and learn I guess. At least I'm still living anyway.  

progress or permissive

  I was thinking about the influence television had on us growing up. The movies, sitcoms and specials reflecting the values of America. As today the objective was to entertain and possibly inform. Sure those themes were a bit idolized and were not a true depiction of life, in the past, or the present but was still a model, of sorts. It certainly influenced our fashions, and our thoughts on current social happenings.  How well I remember Walter Cronkite saying, and that's the way it is. Thing is, I believed him, as did millions of others. That is the way it was.

  I wasn't aware of that as a kid, I don't think any of us were. Hard for me to imagine that television was a fairly new medium when I was growing up. I remember when it started being broadcast in living color! My parents told stories of seeing their first television in the window of the local hardware store, it was turned on and they could watch it from the sidewalk. Amazing technology. And that technology of broadcasting to the masses was regulated, there were rules. Early on there was concern about the content being broadcast. There was much that couldn't be said or seen! All of that has "evolved" that much is certain. I'm not certain that evolution has been for the better. There are times when what we call progress isn't really progress at all, just permissiveness. Not always a good or healthy thing at all. 

  A great deal of that comes to mind as I watch the television offerings of today. I admit I do not watch much of the new sitcoms, drama's, or reality shows that seem to be the mainstay of the airways. I haven't watched many of the popular shows I hear people talking about. Hunger games, zombies, Queen Latifah as a superhero or something, I just really don't know. But I do hear about the themes and social commentaries being broadcast. The advertisements show America, and it's values as well. They show the "supposed" every day activities and behaviors of everyday life. I wasn't shocked, or really aware at the time but William Shatner was the first white man to kiss a black women on television. Yes, he kissed Lt. Ohura. Before that on Bewitched, it was shown on television that they slept in the same bed. Ozzie and Harriet had twin beds, as did most respectable people in those days. I thought that was strange though as my Mom and Dad shared a bed, must be something rich people do because they can afford two beds. Then in 1992, I know that seems recent but is actually twenty nine years ago, Murphy Brown, a single woman had a baby on television! No man was shown, no man was involved with any of that. Nope, just a single woman having a baby. I do recall a few eyebrows being raised! It was a case of, innocence lost, for sure.

  Today I'm seeing commercials about Christmas, sharing with your loved ones, all that sentiment. At the end of the commercial there is a gay couple kissing. Just two guys, in love, sharing a moment, as natural as can be. Well that's the message being sent isn't it? Yes I know it is my whiteness, my racism and bigotry that is showing in these observations but I do see them. I see all the interracial relationships being portrayed. Each demographic, each lifestyle, each choice, being shown in living color as the normal way of life in the United States today. And I am aware that it is an influence. It is a path to acceptance, to tolerance. I just question whether it is progress or permissiveness. It's the same question my parents had, and I'm certain my grandparents had. A changing social program. 

  It's a recurring theme in my thoughts and in my writings, the notion of a standard. I do believe in having standards. I fail to see how the quality of anything can be measured without having a standard. Isn't that the premise of all religious belief. You have to adhere to a standard. Yes there are aberrations, exceptions and tolerances, but the standard remains. The founding fathers attempted to delineate those standards with the Declaration of Independence, the Federalist papers, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Standards like, all men are created equal, truths that are self evident. Each succeeding generation has modified those standards, either making progress, or simply being more permissive. At some point the standard disappears altogether, a new standard being established. A new measure of value. In reality, a reflection of ideals. 

  The concern has moved past television these days and a focus on social media has begun. The same progression repeating itself. In the beginning social media platforms were pretty much unregulated, the internet is like the wild west! Yes, it's true if you do a Google inquiry there are far more pornography sites on the internet than any other. I haven't checked but I'm thinking dating sites and advertisers have to be a close second. Now there is some talk of regulation, some talk of creating a standard. Many names are being used to describe that process but it is in discussion. Freedom of speech? That wasn't an issue in the early days of television, they even had a list of words you could not say! George Carlin did a whole bit on just that topic. It got lots of laughs, nervous laughter that makes people uncomfortable, at least for a while. Today, it's normal, right? For many it is. I'm still a bit uncomfortable. The internet, the world wide web, has thrown open the doors. With just a few clicks the raw underbelly of the world is exposed, open for exploration, and open for normalization. A new standard. I say standard because what is a standard other than the expected? What needs to be understood however is that just because it is expected, that doesn't make it good. I'd say I grew up in a time with a different standard. A different standard in broadcasting societal ideals.         

another Covid Christmas

  The push to vax the kids is on! Yes, that's pretty much what I keep hearing about these days. The powers that be recruited Bird Bird to spread the message. I've heard of several bribes being offered, one hundred dollars, scholarships, and free tickets. If you allow the government to inject your child with this formulation that provides limited protection against a virus you, the parent or legal guardian, can be rewarded. We are being told not to be concerned, it's perfectly safe. Don't listen to the man behind the curtain, err the mask, it's perfectly safe. 

  Okay, maybe it is true, the vaccine is safe and effective, if only for a sort time, boosters will always be available. They may not always come with a reward or be free, but they will be available, dare I say required, before your children will be allowed to enter society. I can't help but point out the same "professionals" that insist this is necessary, and indeed the most prudent path to take, are also the ones that call abortion health care! Just one of the reasons for some of my skepticism. But I've written my thoughts and feelings about this numerous times. 

  I was prompted to write about this again after listening to a news story. The reporter was saying how there is a shortage of Santa's this year. The reason was the health concerns of older, shall we say rotund men, willing to play the part. So, the threat was, you may not get to have pictures taken with Santa this year! Yes, unless the children are all vaccinated Santa will just stay away! That was the message. So the latest bribe is withholding Santa Claus. That should get the little rascals jabbed! Once again I am hearing, it's for the children. The it's for our "seniors" has already been exhausted. The loss of your job, the loss of social contact, the mandatory showing of your "papers" for general services, even the record rise in inflation hasn't satisfied everyone. So now, no Santa Claus for you! The supply chain has already been severely effected, the elves can't deliver the goods. 

 This is our second covid Christmas. I don't recall hearing much about a Santa Claus shortage last year. I assume that was because we were mostly sheltering in place at that time. Black Friday wasn't quite as black but the goods were still being delivered anyway. Last year there were travel restrictions in place and many rules about social gatherings. Big brother was watching. One expert is saying covid will be effecting Christmas for at least another five years! What I found amusing was that expert was an "expert" guesser. That was about the extent of his qualifications. Might as well check the Old Farmers Almanac, just as accurate.

 Look I don't know any more than anyone else. But, I see patterns. We all see patterns, that is how we determine our actions, our next move so to speak. The pattern I have witnessed with these vaccines is the same as the ones used to pass other legislation. Take legalized gambling as an example. It doesn't matter if it is as simple as a scratch card or picking the numbers, the push to get that passed involved what? Promises that it is for the children, for the future generations to have a better life. The revenue these gamblers will provide will ensure all of that. After all, they are going to gamble anyway so why not tax that? It's for the children, for schools, for after school programs, for mentors and counselors. And now some states are allowing the sale of marijuana for recreational use, taxing that, because well, people are going to smoke it anyway. Colorado in particular even earmarked some of the tax money on the sale of pot to establish rehabilitation/recovery centers for drug abuse! Providing the product and the cure, pretty sweet set up. See the pattern? 

 The pattern is plain to see. The government creates the dependence and then provides the cure. The latest attempt at that was the issuing of stimulus checks. The government closed down business, put you out of work. Then they gave you a small stipend and many felt like they were getting something for nothing. Time to go back to work, ah, I like this staying home stuff, it's a lot more convenient. Many are not going back to work! No worries though, the government will provide by either direct payments or forgiveness of money owed on loans. You can stay in your home, the bank can't foreclose on you, not yet, not until the government reset takes place. But I'm just a conspiracy theorist. 

 Now it's true I've never been to college and studied world economics. Its true I have no experience in business. No BA or MBA. I do know one thing though, if you want to stay in business you have to create a desire for whatever product you are selling. The business of government is no different in that regard. For those politicians to stay in control, retain their power and influence, they have to create a need. So what product is the government selling? Dependence is the short answer. When the government controls your means of production, controls the flow of monies, gains control of the health and welfare of the population, they have created that need for their product. At that point they can dole out what they want, in the amount they want, and to whom they want. Merry Christmas. Or whatever holiday salutation the government "approves" for use these days. There is a list you know?                

Honor

  It being Veterans day I thought to write a bit about that. I can write from a first person perspective having served in the Navy for twenty years. I did retire from active service in 1991. Hard to believe I have been retired longer than I served. Still, that perspective hasn't changed all that much. Being in the Navy was always just a job to me, that is the manner in which I viewed that. It was my occupation, a profession chosen for it's benefits and rewards. It had little to do with patriotism and a feeling of obligation. For me that stuff sounds good but isn't the reality of my life. I will make no pretense otherwise. I'm uncomfortable with being, thanked for my service, as it was in essence a self serving thing when taken as a whole. I signed a contract and honored that contract. It's as simple as that.

 That being said, I am often angered a bit by those that would disparage our service members. They are people doing a job, their motivations being their own, and shouldn't be questioned. I'm especially angered by those that have never served as it is my belief they have nothing to say. The, unless you have walked a mile in my shoes thing. I'm angered when they also try to offer excuses for their absence. Just say, I did not serve and leave it at that. Those that have served, Veterans, may speak of their service in any fashion they so desire, they earned that. It matters little the length of that service as long as they served honorably. For me, that is the measure of the man. You honor your commitments. Promises kept! 

 I was in Norfolk Virginia aboard the destroyer tender, USS Puget Sound AD-38, when the end of the Vietnam war was announced. Of course at the time it wasn't called a war, not officially, it was a conflict. Remember prior to that was Korea, a police action. But War was never officially declared by the Congress of the United States. Fact is, the last time that happened was in December of 1941. The day was uneventful onboard the ship, no big celebrations, no hoorays and all that. No, it was just a casual mention. Almost an, oh by the way type of thing. It was over. Since that day I have heard everything there is to say regarding that war. 

 Yes, it is a war whenever people are being killed in defense of an ideology. That is what wars are fought over, make no mistake about that. The official declaration of war is a formality in the political arena. A means to justify and condemn. It has little effect on the participants other than perhaps the amount of logistic support they may receive. Today we routinely say the Vietnam War and have erected memorials giving that war recognition. Still, officially it was not a war. Semantics and politics are bedfellows you know, a practice that continues till this very moment. 

 Over the years I have heard much about that war. How unjust, unfair, and wrong it was. How we had no business there. I've heard as those that served in that arena, indeed anyone that served during the entire time frame of that war, where called vile names, spit upon and degraded. I personally have been on the receiving end of that, although I never set foot on the ground in Vietnam, the closest I came was miles off the coast on a support ship, refueling other ships. Such is life I suppose and I accept that. It's part of the job, no matter how unpleasant or unjust. I ask for no sympathy. I take no credit, assume no blame, for the decisions of those in power. I was a sailor, following the commands of those appointed over me as stated in the oath I took voluntarily. That was, and is, my only explanation.

 That explanation is why the United States was involved in that conflict in the first place. We were honoring a pledge, our word as a nation. Here is an explanation of just that obligation:  

In the longer term, we must judge a decision to withdraw assistance from South Viet-Nam primarily in terms of its effect on the ability of the United States to maintain its role of world leadership. That role is not an easy one. France could withdraw from Indochina or Algeria without wide-ranging consequences since it was not a great power and other nations did not depend on France for their own security. The United States must, however, always act with the consciousness that if it fails to discharge its role of leadership there is no other free world power capable of taking its place. 

That is an excerpt from a memorandum given to then president Lyndon Johnson. The mans name is George Ball, a name unknown to me until I did some reading and researching about all of this. This memo is not the only document that offers the reasoning behind our involvement. I offer it only as context. All veterans, regardless of their current status, were obligated to obey the orders of their superiors. They are not required to agree with those decisions, that isn't part of the contract. Veterans are required to do their duty! That is the bottom line, and for that Veterans deserve to be respected. Those veterans displayed the honor, courage and commitment just as they pledged to do, just as our Nation pledged to do! That is where the honor lies! 

Here's a link to the article I referenced: 

Foreign Relations of the United States, 1964–1968, Volume III, Vietnam, June–December 1965 - Office of the Historian 

   

         

Understanding

  I posed the question to Facebook, to the social media universe, or should I say, metaverse. But then I read where that is being contested as well. Apparently that name was already in use. But whatever the case may be I asked a simple question. At what age do you stop asking your children/grandchildren for a Christmas list? Is there an age where that becomes "baby" stuff? 

  As with most things I'm afraid I didn't fully explain what I had in mind. It is difficult to have a conversation on social media that is focused. There is always the issue of that's what I wrote but that isn't what I mean, you know, like listening to a politician. Yes, I said that but that isn't what it means. What I had in mind was more or less an actual written list, like a letter to Santa almost. It's what we did before Amazon had wish lists and children had gift registries online. Yup, I had to make a list. Now I did dog ear the pages in the Sears Christmas wish book and perhaps circled a few items, but an actual written list never hurt anything. Mostly I just let Mom and Dad know what I wanted, no what I needed, have to have, and left it at that. I soon discovered it was best to not be too persistent and to let them know I believed in Santa. Santa could afford what Dad could not, that much was plain, so there was always the chance. 

 I'm not sure when all that changed. I don't recall ever being shocked to learn that there was no Santa Claus. Can't say I remember the year but there came a time when Mom and Dad weren't buying the whole, I believe in Santa ploy. I will admit I had serious doubts long before I gave up on the idea. It was at that time I quit with making a list. I can honestly say I don't remember my parents ever asking me for one, it was always a voluntary thing. Didn't take much encouragement I'll say that much. Still at a certain age I set all that aside and resigned myself to the fact that I would get for Christmas whatever another person chose to give me. The very last thing I remember leaving some very strong hints about my need for was a Sting Ray bicycle, with a five speed T-handle shifter and rear cheater slick tire. I got it! I think I was 14 that year. 

 As I said I don't really remember, but one year I started giving the answer, I don't know, when asked about Christmas. That answer was meant to convey to whoever was asking, figure it out for yourself, I'm too grown to ask for anything specific. It was a part of my raising I suppose although I wasn't really aware of that. It was unseemly to ask for charity. Yes, and getting a gift at Christmas from anyone was a charitable gesture and as such, not to be expected. It was a lesson I learned at a young age, although I didn't implement that lesson until a few years later, if you get my drift. You can do that with grandparents, and other old people, as they think you are just as cute as can be. Yeah, keep thinking that while you buy me that toy I want.

  Back to what I asked though, about a list. I would have to say you never stop asking, it is getting the answer that comes into question. I was asked for many years and for many years the answer was always the same, I don't know, I don't need anything. So the question I was trying to ask really is, at what age do kids quit giving a list? Not an actual list, but asking for specific things? Perhaps it is a subtle thing but an indicator in my estimation. An indicator of understanding. The magic of Christmas exposed. Or, it means nothing at all. What do you want for Christmas?