preservation

  I have compiled a family tree as best as I could. I'm certain there are mistakes with the ancestors. Only having facts can be misleading, there are secrets in history. Sometimes we manage to uncover them, sometimes they just remain. No matter the case I did spend many hours of looking and filling in the blanks. I found newspaper articles, obituaries, announcements and even pictures. I learned a lot of new names. And now, after all these years of doing so, I'm thinking I may have satisfied my curiosity. What I haven't decided on is what to do with it. It makes for some dry reading that much is certain. It's like reading the beginning of the Bible with all that begetting! Not only confusing but a bit boring as well. 

  I have this thought though. I'm thinking of writing about the people in that tree that I knew personally. With the recent passing of my Mother I'm thinking that might be a good idea. What I have in mind in a general description of that person, from my perspective of course, something to give life to that person. You know how others will ask you about your parents, siblings, and others? That is what I'm thinking about. I think it would be a bit of a challenge though, to write a synopsis of their personality. I wouldn't want to do anyone an injustice by recording a biased view. On the other hand, I don't see where I could write anything else. Is it possible to be completely objective with those folks that you knew and loved? Can you be completely objective with yourself?

  I'm thinking that in order to do that I should have a list of questions to be answered. If you never knew a person, what would you want to know about them? I'm talking beyond the obvious questions like their occupation, marital status, and where they lived. I'm wondering about their personality, their likes and dislikes. I guess I mean their philosophical bent. The things that aren't facts but judgments, assumptions and impressions. That is how others see each of us. That's how we appear to be. It may or may not be the way we see ourselves. For that reason, I think I would only write about those that have passed. A sort of biography I suppose. Not a eulogy or elegy, something more complete than those. Dare I say, more honest than either of the two. We do tend to "memorialize" and "idolize" those that have passed. My grandmother Bennett firmly believed in never speaking ill of the dead. And by ill, she meant anything less than complimentary. It's old wisdom and one of compassion. For that reason, I question whether I should do that or not. As time passes, we can become detached from that compassion and I believe that is a good thing. If we never recorded the bad, we would surely be a great deal more ignorant than we already are. Still, there are those that refuse to learn those lessons from the past, or past examples. Those folks often go for something different, not necessarily something better. But all that is for another time. 

 I just want to record more than facts. It's my thinking that including some biographies of those I knew would add some interest. I have pictures of all those folks of course. I do have pictures of the great grandparents, the earliest family I knew. I also have pictures of many of them that I never knew at all. Those folks remain mysterious to me, with questions unanswered. And there is the question of friends. Friends to my parents, friends to my siblings and friends to myself. All those folks have exerted some influence over the years. Perhaps I should include them in the "story" of my family tree. They are integral to the story. 

  But then again, I think maybe all this has to do with preserving my memories. I do wonder, who will remember? The truth is, I am the only one that remember my memories. The best I could do would be to write them done for others to read. I just question who would want to read my memoir? I'm thinking it wouldn't be anyone that knew me, after all, they knew me. And if you never knew me, why would you want to read about me? I'm not rich, famous or even notorious. Nothing to see here! Well, it is something to think about anyway.