Ninety one years ago today my mother was born. She is the last of ten children my grandmother Bennett had. On the very same day my mom's eldest sister, Edith, gave birth to a son. So Grandmother Bennett became Grandmother Bennett the day my mom was born. My mother was born an aunt! Mom is now living in Georgia with brother Dan and I'll be calling her later on today. A lot sure has taken place since her birth. I ask her about all of that and sometimes she likes to talk, at others, I think she just likes to keep it to herself. All those changes surely must create confusion at times, I know they do for me and I'm only 67. She is the last one standing as the saying goes. And by her own admission she doesn't know all the children, grandchildren, great grands, and others that are out there somewhere. How many must she be aunt, or great aunt too? How many stories has she not heard? Nine decades of living.
I woke up with that on my mind. As long as she has been around she still only knows her part of the story. It's that way with all of us. I'm certain there are parts she will never tell, I have parts I leave out as well. But I believe the things we are willing to share will vary over the years. Over time we will let go of some things, accepting the fact that we are human after all and prone to making mistakes. Still we all build a façade around ourselves and protect that as best we can. It's not a bad thing, not everything need be shown. I do believe there are things that should remain between you and your god. You are the only ones that understand the full context, explaining it to others can be futile at times. We are the caretakers of our memories, no one else has that authority. I have thought of that over the years. I would write all my secrets down if there were some assurance, some guarantee, that no one that had known me personally would ever read them. If they did that would tarnish the façade? No, only through the impartiality of anonymity could such secrets be revealed. And that really isn't impartial as a judgement about your character will be rendered based on those secrets. Disgraced? That is what most people will think. It happens all the time when we find out something about those we admired, or are related to in some fashion, no matter how remote. Well, that is unless enough time has elapsed then it may be alright. We will associate ourselves with someone of fame, or infamy, given enough time.
I was just thinking I have known my mother for 67 years and there is much I don't know. There is much she doesn't know about me too. It's an amazing thing really how we can live in a little world of our own, only allowing others a glimpse every now and again. It's true some are far more open than others. although only they know the degree to which that really is. Truth is an elusive thing, where does the truth lie? I believe it is somewhere between life and death. Some find it early, others late, some not at all. The truth is found within ourselves, within our memories. I'm thinking not all truth needs to be shared. We should hold onto some truth, keep it all to ourselves. Happiness resides in the acceptance of truth. I guess Mom being 91 today has just made me think a little more about that sort of stuff. I do wonder what her truth is, and if she will ever share that. I wonder too if she already has and I just wasn't listening. Have I been paying attention?
Well whatever the case is I wish her a Happy Birthday and am thankful that I can. She was born in 1929, I was born in 1953, and here we are in the 21st century together. I had hoped to go visit with her for her birthday this year but that's not happening. Coronavirus! A pandemic. Well there will be next year, another year always comes we just don't know what it will bring with it. Hopefully it brings both of us along for the ride. But you never know, and that is the truth of it.
I woke up with that on my mind. As long as she has been around she still only knows her part of the story. It's that way with all of us. I'm certain there are parts she will never tell, I have parts I leave out as well. But I believe the things we are willing to share will vary over the years. Over time we will let go of some things, accepting the fact that we are human after all and prone to making mistakes. Still we all build a façade around ourselves and protect that as best we can. It's not a bad thing, not everything need be shown. I do believe there are things that should remain between you and your god. You are the only ones that understand the full context, explaining it to others can be futile at times. We are the caretakers of our memories, no one else has that authority. I have thought of that over the years. I would write all my secrets down if there were some assurance, some guarantee, that no one that had known me personally would ever read them. If they did that would tarnish the façade? No, only through the impartiality of anonymity could such secrets be revealed. And that really isn't impartial as a judgement about your character will be rendered based on those secrets. Disgraced? That is what most people will think. It happens all the time when we find out something about those we admired, or are related to in some fashion, no matter how remote. Well, that is unless enough time has elapsed then it may be alright. We will associate ourselves with someone of fame, or infamy, given enough time.
I was just thinking I have known my mother for 67 years and there is much I don't know. There is much she doesn't know about me too. It's an amazing thing really how we can live in a little world of our own, only allowing others a glimpse every now and again. It's true some are far more open than others. although only they know the degree to which that really is. Truth is an elusive thing, where does the truth lie? I believe it is somewhere between life and death. Some find it early, others late, some not at all. The truth is found within ourselves, within our memories. I'm thinking not all truth needs to be shared. We should hold onto some truth, keep it all to ourselves. Happiness resides in the acceptance of truth. I guess Mom being 91 today has just made me think a little more about that sort of stuff. I do wonder what her truth is, and if she will ever share that. I wonder too if she already has and I just wasn't listening. Have I been paying attention?
Well whatever the case is I wish her a Happy Birthday and am thankful that I can. She was born in 1929, I was born in 1953, and here we are in the 21st century together. I had hoped to go visit with her for her birthday this year but that's not happening. Coronavirus! A pandemic. Well there will be next year, another year always comes we just don't know what it will bring with it. Hopefully it brings both of us along for the ride. But you never know, and that is the truth of it.
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