Victims and survivors. Seems like society today is dividing itself along those lines. Must be the new norm I keep hearing about. In reading comments left by others it is a common theme of defense. When called out or questioned about their choices that is becoming the go to explanation. They are either a victim of something or a survivor, although surviving what isn't always clear. That leaves me somewhere in the middle as I make no claims to either. I've had misfortunes, bad luck, and been taken advantage of. I wasn't born into wealth or fame. There have been opportunities missed and doors closed to me. I haven't been a victim however, not in the sense of some grievous injury, no it's just like the saying, *hit happens. And after that happens and I make it through I don't think of myself as a survivor, someone who made it through some monumental struggle to survive, to live! Nah, I just did the best I could at the time. Sometimes I had help, sometimes I had to go it alone. As far as surviving, Hank Williams taught me about that, we're not going to get out of this life alive, and that is just a simple fact. Get used to that idea. The thing about victims and survivors is both groups feel entitled. The victims feeling they should be compensated in some fashion, and the survivors, rewarded. Well, the fact of the matter is you pretty much get what you earn this world. That has little to do with what you feel you deserve. Understanding that is the first step to finding that elusive state we call happiness. If you go through life expecting others to give you what you feel you deserve, you'll be disappointed. It's also true if you expect to be compensated or rewarded according to your own measure. Ever hear of a victim feeling they were adequately compensated? No, they may claim to be a survivor though, isn't that strange? It's how it works though. And survivors are to be admired, praised and shown empathy for whatever they fell victim too. I just see all of that as a means of placing the blame. Unwilling or unable to take responsibility for their own actions, those folks need to blame someone or something. It's not my fault. That is where every victim and survivor begins the conversation. I was handed an injustice but I survived it. It was never any fault of theirs. They were either born into the situation or forced into the situation. Never is either action the result of their own choices. Hence they are either victims or survivors. Things happen or sometimes we are just plain unlucky. But I do believe the majority of the time, whatever and wherever we find ourselves it is a result of our own actions. Might happen almost immediately, or take years but in the end we are subject to the choices we made. I can't place blame for that on anyone but myself. If I allowed myself to be persuaded, allowed myself to be convinced, or allowed myself to justify some bad decisions, that's on me, no one else. I'm not saying I'm always happy with myself, always satisfied that I did my best, but I'm not blaming anyone or anything. I do not expect compensation or reward. I do expect to get what I earned. What that is I negotiate in advance when it comes to monetary compensation. As for personal compensation you have to take what you get. You don't get to define that. That's the part about understanding your worth. Your idea of that, and others idea of that, are most often at odds with one another. You have to remember, to understand, you set your worth, not others. Do not compare that to what others may tell you to the contrary. That's what these victims and survivors are doing. They are trying to convince you that they are exceptions and should receive special treatment. The objective being a gain for themselves! They will even try to make you feel inferior to them unless you give them that recognition! Victims and survivors. Not their fault.
No comments:
Post a Comment