A friend of mine recently asked an interesting question. She was contemplating whether love had to be sacrificial to be true love. Is sacrifice a requirement of love ? Or more properly is sacrifice a component of love ? My initial response and reaction is yes. I would say it must be so. Perhaps the most famous description of love can be found in the Bible. First Corinthians Chapter 13. In the King James Version the word, charity, is used instead of the word love. The words are interchangeable in this instance.
In thinking about that I find using the word Charity very telling. In today's world we think of charity as the act of giving. Furthermore it indicates to give without expectation of return. But does that constitute a sacrifice ? Not necessarily, I can give to a charity without injury to myself or causing myself discomfort of any kind. A sacrifice means to give something up, of significant value, to benefit another or yourself. One also thinks as a sacrifice as a means to gain favor, as a sacrifice to a deity. When thought of in that way a sacrifice would not necessarily include any component of love, but rather be a selfish act.
Is not unrequited love, love nonetheless ? I may make a tremendous sacrifice for another but if they do not recognize it as such, does that diminish the purity of that love ? I think not. I do believe that love makes sacrifices. The question is, does all love require sacrifice ? I would have to say that love does not require sacrifice to be love, but sacrifice is required to maintain that love. Sacrifice can not create love. But when we are no longer willing to sacrifice for that love, it does die.
The last verse in the Bible passage says this, " and now abideth faith,hope,charity these three, but the greatest of these is charity. " And so to me Charity is the act of giving without expectation of a return, unlike a sacrifice which does. Then the question is changed somewhat, can you love without sacrifice ? If you are a Christian you believe that God sacrificed his own son for our sins, the ultimate display of love. But the son died and rose again as testament to that love. A gift, a charitable act ? There is no expectation of return, only hope. For does not God hope we will obey his commands and join him in heaven ? He still loves us if we do not, proof that charity is stronger than hope. Faith is the act of believing, not hoping.
So, having given this question some thought and contemplation I now must change my answer. I must say, no, love does not have to be sacrificial.
In thinking about that I find using the word Charity very telling. In today's world we think of charity as the act of giving. Furthermore it indicates to give without expectation of return. But does that constitute a sacrifice ? Not necessarily, I can give to a charity without injury to myself or causing myself discomfort of any kind. A sacrifice means to give something up, of significant value, to benefit another or yourself. One also thinks as a sacrifice as a means to gain favor, as a sacrifice to a deity. When thought of in that way a sacrifice would not necessarily include any component of love, but rather be a selfish act.
Is not unrequited love, love nonetheless ? I may make a tremendous sacrifice for another but if they do not recognize it as such, does that diminish the purity of that love ? I think not. I do believe that love makes sacrifices. The question is, does all love require sacrifice ? I would have to say that love does not require sacrifice to be love, but sacrifice is required to maintain that love. Sacrifice can not create love. But when we are no longer willing to sacrifice for that love, it does die.
The last verse in the Bible passage says this, " and now abideth faith,hope,charity these three, but the greatest of these is charity. " And so to me Charity is the act of giving without expectation of a return, unlike a sacrifice which does. Then the question is changed somewhat, can you love without sacrifice ? If you are a Christian you believe that God sacrificed his own son for our sins, the ultimate display of love. But the son died and rose again as testament to that love. A gift, a charitable act ? There is no expectation of return, only hope. For does not God hope we will obey his commands and join him in heaven ? He still loves us if we do not, proof that charity is stronger than hope. Faith is the act of believing, not hoping.
So, having given this question some thought and contemplation I now must change my answer. I must say, no, love does not have to be sacrificial.
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