You decide

I have decided that we are as good at something as we believe ourselves to be. The first person we need to convince of our talent is, the first person,ourselves. That is something that I struggle with. I have seen others that have this certainty in their life. I have often wondered how they obtained that confidence. In spite of rejection by the general population and in the face of would be critics, they continue. The thing is, in my opinion I see a lot of those that are somewhat lacking that seem totally unaware. In all fairness I see those that are very successful that I would also take exception with. I guess that is where we fall into the category of taste.
I do have some issues with critics when it comes to judging others creative abilities. Take, for instance, art. Those high browed abstract expressions that I can make no sense of. Strange to me how anyone would be willing to pay millions of dollars for them. The critics rave about them and go on about their deep meaning. Sorry, I don't see it that way. I'm sure the artist does though, they have convinced themselves that these works are great. Then they have convinced others. I do think that is the second half of the equation. First they have to be certain that they are great. Take anything you can think that is popular and that had to be the formula. First someone had to decide that whatever it is, it is great. Someone ,somewhere decided that rap music was talent. Not in my book. Now they teach courses in College about the social implications invoked in those raps. My opinion, aww, I 'd rather read the classics.
I would say we all require validation for our efforts. I think the difference may lie in the amount of validation that we require. To some a simple, that's pretty good, is sufficient for them to continue. For others, rave reviews and constant accolades are not enough. How much convincing do you need ? Or is it really, how much are you willing to risk ?
Fad and fashion are certainly driven in that way. At one time expressions like twenty three skee doo and I'm hip man were all the rage. Someone somewhere had to first use those expressions. Then others were convinced they were rad. See what I mean ? Now there are hipsters walking around. Don't know a whole lot about them, but someone had to start that fad.
I find myself wondering just where that confidence comes from. I hear people singing karaoke, without the encouragement of alcohol, that have no  business singing in public. I know, I'm one of those people. Nobody wants to hear that. I could paint a picture and you probably couldn't tell what it is supposed to be and I don't think I could convince you otherwise. I wonder though if a well known art critic said, it is a masterpiece, how many would then agree. Then with that agreement wouldn't I then be convinced myself ? Maybe that is the secret. Maybe you just have to believe. Problem is, I have doubts. I have doubts about the judgement of the critics but yet I seek their approval. That is a bit of a quandary. There are those that say you just have to be willing to make yourself completely vulnerable. That is what it feels like to me. I suppose I would rather have doubts as opposed to certainty. I will remain that way until I convince myself otherwise. They say you are your own biggest critic and I would agree with that. Maybe those that don'r are the ones receiving the accolades. Could be you just have to let others decide and believe that !