Friday, October 18, 2013

What is it ?

Two young girls have been arrested and charged in a case of bullying. The girl being bullied committed suicide. A tragic event for everyone concerned. Now I hear the parents of the girls doing the bullying may be charged as well. I have mixed emotions about all this. Certainly the young girls doing the bullying should be held accountable for their actions. The parents, if they were aware of this, have some responsibility as well.
The problem I have is how to proceed. Children ,by their very nature, are somewhat cruel creatures. There always have been those that tease or bully, and always will. Words used as weapons are nothing new. And these girls used words to harass and intimate. No physical contact was employed in this campaign. Wrong, yes. Criminal ? I'm not so certain about that. The problem lies in where will it end ? Will I be held criminally responsible for saying hateful words or offending someone ? If I am your employer and terminate your employment and you subsequently commit suicide can I be held responsible ? Can you be held criminally responsible for your words alone ? If you cause me stress or induce low self esteem can I sue you ? Do I have no responsibility for my actions or reactions to your bullying ways ? Can mental health and self confidence be achieved through the legal system ?
Why are we trying to teach our children to litigate their social problems ? Why are we not teaching coping skills instead of legal recourse ? To put it simply whatever happened to " sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me " or " I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. " Just what it is we wish to accomplish  ? Just who benefits from this prosecution ? The parents who lost their child to suicide will forever be scarred by that lose. The search for answers will never end. There are no words or compensation equal to that lose.
I am mixed in my response. On the one hand the gravity of their actions cannot be understated but where to draw a line. Is it criminal if it results in a suicide ? Is it criminal if it does not ? At just what point do you define bullying as opposed to teasing or name calling ? Is bullying criminal intent ?
There are already many things we can say that we can be prosecuted for. Racial slurs and defamatory remarks. Slander. Are we now adding, you're being mean to me in that category ? I just don't know.
I do know bullying is the hot button topic right now. We all want to protect our children from the mean old world. Perhaps we should be teaching more self reliance rather than legal recourse. Can we really expect to teach proper behavior by threat of legal action ? It is a difficult situation. For me, the jury is still out.
Criminal Intent ? Childhood behaviors ? Immature personality ? The penalty ?

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