There are times when the truths of our patents are no longer our truths. It begins in our teenage years and appears to continue throughout our lives. I should clarify that with the statement that it does for most of us anyway. There are individuals that never seem to form their own opinions and blindly follow. That is how prejudices stay alive and perpetuate. Well, they say it takes all kinds to make a world.
It usually begins with fashion and taste in music. We want to be hip and cool. The desire to fit in with the crowd is often stronger than the need to please our parents. We begin the search for our own identity. Some will choose to go with whatever is the current trend and adopt that as their own, while others stay with the accepted styles. In the end we all wind up with a blend that is our own. For some this blend forms quickly and for others the mixing continues throughout their lives.
I was thinking about this more in the vein of our parents prejudices. Now prejudice is an ugly word and brings bad visions and connotations. The prejudices I am thinking about are not the obvious ones like race, religion or nationality. The prejudices I am thinking about are a lot more benign than that. They are the " truths " our parents tell us. Those truths are nothing more than their experiences in life. Some are wise and some are false. These truths are subjective. If a man wears a suit to work, he really doesn't work for a living. He wouldn't know what a hard days work is ! The subjective part being, what is work ? To the blue collar man it means physical exertion. There are those that put on " airs ". They present an appearance that is above their station. The implication being that they are somehow being dishonest. And do not our parents instruct us in our " station " ? Mine certainly defined it clearly enough. You ought not hang out with certain classes of people, those above or below you. Often it was unspoken, but the messages were clear. It is these subtle messages that form our character.
In truth I think most of us filter those subtle messages with our own life experiences over the years. We accept and reject them. We witness the effects on ourselves and others and weigh the choices. The person that has the lower grade point average does have something to say. That " rich " kid is like me in a lot of ways. He really doesn't get everything he wants. Where you lived in town doesn't change who you are, just your experience. Perhaps that is why two brothers can be radically different in their thinking. They are using different filters. One brother adopting an outlook much like your own, and the other seeing it differently.
We can walk the same path but see different scenery. To one it is hot and the other chilly.
I believe our parents told us their vision of the world and gave us their best advice for navigating it. How closely we follow the chart is a choice we make, or perhaps we just get caught in a storm. The righting of our ship defines our character. How we weather the storm.
It usually begins with fashion and taste in music. We want to be hip and cool. The desire to fit in with the crowd is often stronger than the need to please our parents. We begin the search for our own identity. Some will choose to go with whatever is the current trend and adopt that as their own, while others stay with the accepted styles. In the end we all wind up with a blend that is our own. For some this blend forms quickly and for others the mixing continues throughout their lives.
I was thinking about this more in the vein of our parents prejudices. Now prejudice is an ugly word and brings bad visions and connotations. The prejudices I am thinking about are not the obvious ones like race, religion or nationality. The prejudices I am thinking about are a lot more benign than that. They are the " truths " our parents tell us. Those truths are nothing more than their experiences in life. Some are wise and some are false. These truths are subjective. If a man wears a suit to work, he really doesn't work for a living. He wouldn't know what a hard days work is ! The subjective part being, what is work ? To the blue collar man it means physical exertion. There are those that put on " airs ". They present an appearance that is above their station. The implication being that they are somehow being dishonest. And do not our parents instruct us in our " station " ? Mine certainly defined it clearly enough. You ought not hang out with certain classes of people, those above or below you. Often it was unspoken, but the messages were clear. It is these subtle messages that form our character.
In truth I think most of us filter those subtle messages with our own life experiences over the years. We accept and reject them. We witness the effects on ourselves and others and weigh the choices. The person that has the lower grade point average does have something to say. That " rich " kid is like me in a lot of ways. He really doesn't get everything he wants. Where you lived in town doesn't change who you are, just your experience. Perhaps that is why two brothers can be radically different in their thinking. They are using different filters. One brother adopting an outlook much like your own, and the other seeing it differently.
We can walk the same path but see different scenery. To one it is hot and the other chilly.
I believe our parents told us their vision of the world and gave us their best advice for navigating it. How closely we follow the chart is a choice we make, or perhaps we just get caught in a storm. The righting of our ship defines our character. How we weather the storm.
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