It seems to me in our haste to educate, and make our children grown up, we are missing an important element. That element goes by several names, nurturing, care, tend, rear, look after, support, promotion, fostering or development. We are not taking the time or exerting the effort to nurture.
We send our children to nursery school, pre-school, pre-k, and then kindergarten. We sign them up for all sorts of " activities ". We have play dates. How many play dates do we make with our own children ? Not many. And many times those times we spend together are doing something that Mom and Dad like to do. Going out to eat, where we push them to act grown up and behave themselves. Going to amusement parks and the zoo. A lot of time spent instructing them on proper behavior in those settings. Do this, don't do that and it usually winds of being a stress filled day for everyone.
The current reasoning is that Mom and Dad both work and Grandma and Grandpa aren't around much either. All the adults are busy with their own agendas. Just too busy. The buying of gifts and letting them just have there way does little. Whenever something goes wrong, the adults are usually looking for someone to blame. The child is seldom wrong and the parents get in an uproar. Their child has been wronged in some fashion. The truth of the matter is the child is only repeating the behaviors they have been taught. And that behavior is all too often, whatever I am doing is more important than what anyone else is doing.
When children are " sent " here and there even with the best on intentions, should we not expect some form of rebellion. I'm sure they feel as though they are just being put somewhere so you don't have to deal with them. Is that " raising " a child ? I don't think so. By placing your child in the care of others in these group settings are we not teaching them to behave in a pack mentality ? Could this be the reason for bullying becoming more of a problem ? These children have to learn some way of dealing with the crowd, some way of gaining attention.
This thinking is not new. I've heard this talked about, even in my mothers time, but it is worthy of thought. I believe this has a lot of merit. I do believe that parents and Grandparents need to make time and sacrifices for there children and grandchildren. The Nurturing of the next generation should be a focus. It is of primary importance. We all need to set aside our own needs and provide for them. There needs are not only, game gear, clothes, and going to amusement parks. There primary need is to be nurtured. They require our support and our guidance. The key there being the word " our. " The nurturing received from others is not nearly as important as that received from parents and grandparents. It is a full time job ! It is easier to make excuses that to make time. I just think we need to make time, put our own needs and agendas aside and raise our children in accordance with our own morals and values. I think there would be a lot less problems in society if we first teach our children to operate independently, before joining the crowd.
We send our children to nursery school, pre-school, pre-k, and then kindergarten. We sign them up for all sorts of " activities ". We have play dates. How many play dates do we make with our own children ? Not many. And many times those times we spend together are doing something that Mom and Dad like to do. Going out to eat, where we push them to act grown up and behave themselves. Going to amusement parks and the zoo. A lot of time spent instructing them on proper behavior in those settings. Do this, don't do that and it usually winds of being a stress filled day for everyone.
The current reasoning is that Mom and Dad both work and Grandma and Grandpa aren't around much either. All the adults are busy with their own agendas. Just too busy. The buying of gifts and letting them just have there way does little. Whenever something goes wrong, the adults are usually looking for someone to blame. The child is seldom wrong and the parents get in an uproar. Their child has been wronged in some fashion. The truth of the matter is the child is only repeating the behaviors they have been taught. And that behavior is all too often, whatever I am doing is more important than what anyone else is doing.
When children are " sent " here and there even with the best on intentions, should we not expect some form of rebellion. I'm sure they feel as though they are just being put somewhere so you don't have to deal with them. Is that " raising " a child ? I don't think so. By placing your child in the care of others in these group settings are we not teaching them to behave in a pack mentality ? Could this be the reason for bullying becoming more of a problem ? These children have to learn some way of dealing with the crowd, some way of gaining attention.
This thinking is not new. I've heard this talked about, even in my mothers time, but it is worthy of thought. I believe this has a lot of merit. I do believe that parents and Grandparents need to make time and sacrifices for there children and grandchildren. The Nurturing of the next generation should be a focus. It is of primary importance. We all need to set aside our own needs and provide for them. There needs are not only, game gear, clothes, and going to amusement parks. There primary need is to be nurtured. They require our support and our guidance. The key there being the word " our. " The nurturing received from others is not nearly as important as that received from parents and grandparents. It is a full time job ! It is easier to make excuses that to make time. I just think we need to make time, put our own needs and agendas aside and raise our children in accordance with our own morals and values. I think there would be a lot less problems in society if we first teach our children to operate independently, before joining the crowd.
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