Thursday, October 4, 2012

Expectations/Disappointment

Expectations. We all have them. We expect certain behaviours or results. Disappointments. We all have them as well. That occurs when our expectations are not met. Sounds self explanatory and a simple concept but it is not. Disappointment can lead to anger. And anger can lead to irrational behaviours. It can become a dangerous and harmful spiral. Human response and reaction.
The problem often lies in the defining of our expectations. My expectations may differ widely from yours. Neither one is the correct one, unless those expectations were agreed upon previously. Assumptions. Mistakes. Our hopes, fears and expectations are based upon our own life experiences. Each one is unique.
Someone said, " I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not here to live up to mine " or a very similar phrase. The exact quote is not important but the substance of that quote is.
In a society there are certain expectations. Expected behaviours or attitudes. They are usually clearly understood. When one chooses to join a society, one also takes a risk. To become associated with a particular group implies consent to subscribing to their views. Should you become disillusioned with that group it may lead to disappointment. And from that, anger.
I think the trick lies in not becoming attached to our expectations. Whereas our individual expectations may indeed be reasonable and clear to us, they may not be so to others. Do not become so attached to your expectations that disappointment crushes your spirit. Do not allow disappointment to lead to anger. Expectations in and of themselves have no substance. They are ideals not reality. Should your expectations not be met take action to correct that. Either alter your expectations or alter the society.  







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