Claims

I love to talk about ridiculous claims made by advertisers. Whether it is some miracle product or guarantee I can't help but feel a mixture of amusement and anger. Do you really believe I am that gullible ? Or dumb ? Gimme a break. Then I think, it must work though,they do spend millions on these ads.
The latest one I have been hearing is from Quaker State. Yup,the motor oil company. They are now saying if you use Quaker State oil in your car or light truck and it reaches 300,000 miles they will send you a check for the Kelley blue book value of your vehicle.
Being somewhat of a car guy this caught my attention. Buy a new car,at today's price of say 30,000. Drive it long enough to reach 300,000 miles. Keep your records and receipts to show that you have only used Quaker State oil and get a check.
Let's look at this deal. First off, insurance companies figure the average person drives about 10,000 miles a year. Let's say I drive twice that amount. It is still gonna take fifteen years to reach that mark. Now assuming I paid to have my oil changed every two thousand miles I'd have changed it one hundred and fifty times. That's a bunch of money. Would have spent that anyway. The hook here is they say they will give you the Kelley blue book value of your car. Free money ! Ever look at the Kelley blue book value of a fifteen year old car ? Fifteen years from now it would cost more to mail the check than the value of the car. That car ain't gonna be worth squat ! With luck, a collector may want it. What most people don't hear about is the Kelley black book. That publication tells you the trade in value of a vehicle. It doesn't go back fifteen years. The blue book normally doesn't either.
I'd be willing to bet,and I'm not much of a gambler,that Quaker State will never,ever have to send anyone a check ! To me it a silly guarantee and worthless. The marketing people must have worked overtime on that one. I put it in the same category as free " whatevers " for life. You have seen those ads I'm sure. If this item ever breaks or dulls we will send you free replacement blades; FOR LIFE ! Just pay shipping and handling,if we are still in business.
P.T. Barnum reportedly said," there is a sucker born every second. " He was right about that. I've been fooled a few times too. I have learned to listen to the ads however. You have heard of reading between the lines,well,I've taught myself to listen between the lines. Being a Navy Recruiter helped too. I never lied to anyone ,they just didn't listen.
Sometimes when I am extremely bored I even watch those infomercials. They can be funny and entertaining. Good place to see the stars of the past too. I think my favorite was, The Ab Roller. Someone took a wheel off a lawnmower, put handles on it and actually sold it as a piece of exercise equipment. If you used the Ab roller according to the program provided you would have rock hard Abs. But now we don't need that. Just strap on a belt and let the spasms from electric shock do the work. You will have rock hard Abs in no time. You could use that check from Quaker State to buy it. Isn't America wonderful ?