Sunday, May 18, 2014

Old Goat or Mountain Goat ?

Let me start by saying, sixty isn't old ! I  know. I'm sixty soon to be sixty one. As any of you that read my blogging knows I have just returned from vacation. Sure I am a little tired and out of sorts, we all are, young and older. I have been going through my vacation photos and videos. There is this older looking, although familiar faced person, that keeps appearing. Yup, it is me alright. I must say I was a bit taken aback. How is it that I can look that way ? I certainly don't feel that way. They say the camera adds ten pounds but somebody is lying ! My cameras, both still and video, are adding a bit more than that. Maybe it has something to do with the digital technology. If I think about it, those pictures I have of myself on regular film don't look like that. In those old black and white shots I actually lose weight. I'm going with that theory for now.
Seriously I have watched myself on video climbing up on the rocks. While I was doing it I felt nimble and in control. In fact, I was teasing my grandson about it saying I could climb those rocks like a mountain goat ! Watching the footage it turns out it was more like an old goat. I'm telling you I don't look anywhere near as steady as I felt. I can see, literally, why my wife was hollering at me to stop it. It is scary ! It is strange how we feel so much different than we look. I suppose that is a good thing as long as one doesn't get too carried away. That is to say, let there emotions control their common sense. There is a line in a movie somewhere that said, "a man has to know his limitations." I think Clint Eastwood may have used that. There is truth in that statement. But, you could also say, " appearances are deceiving. "  There is a fine line between truth and fiction. It has also been said " you are only as old as you feel. " I understand the sentiment there but the reality is different altogether.
I am not happy with the way I look in those pictures. Will I start going to the gym and taking better care of myself ? Nah, I can't see that happening, for me this is a fleeting thing. I only feel this way when looking at the pictures, or in a mirror. In my minds eye I still feel great and don't look all that bad. It is alright to deceive yourself for a little bit I think. If I began to worry about every little thing like that I could destroy the happiness I feel. For me, not worth it. Yet ! The day may come and if it does there will be time enough. I have plenty of faults but vanity isn't one of them. Some say it is easier to make excuses and that is true. Others tell you you should do it for those you love. The truth is, at least for me, is you have to want to change for yourself in order to be successful at that change. Seeing these photos has not given me that motivation. There is one more saying, " there is no fool like an old fool. "


                                                                     

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