Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Saturday, November 5, 2016

stored emotion

 When I first began this blog I called it Random Thoughts and Memories because I figured that is what I would write about. As it turns out it is more random thoughts than memories. The reason for that is a simple one. The memories I had in mind were those memories from my childhood. Subtracting the years I don't remember, say four, that doesn't leave a very long period of time. You could say it was fourteen years. When you factor in that not every day is a memory the number is reduced considerably. That is why stories get repeated so often, you run out. It is something I have become increasingly aware of these last few years. Just how memorable was your childhood ?
 We all have our little tales of adventure and mischief. We all have our moments of triumph and times we would rather forget. Those are our memories. I have already shared the majority of those with my readers. I do think it is the same basic group of folks reading these blogs, with an occasional stranger stumbling upon them. In my vanity I think they remember what was written and so try not to repeat. And so as a result I am running low on memories. What I never run out of is " feelings. " Memories are more feelings than anything else. The object of sharing a memory is to get the reader or listener to experience the same feeling you had that made that memory. That is the " hallmark " experience. A hallmark is, of course, the best. It has been tested and quality ensured. Isn't that what hallmark cards and greetings are all about ? The hallmark channel is filled with those movies that are designed to evoke those emotions.
 I have also discovered if you have to explain the emotion, it doesn't work. That is because emotions must be felt and are not a cognitive effort. I have also come to realize that my childhood wasn't all that memorable. In the grand scheme of things that isn't a bad thing. Things went along fairly smoothly and without much drama. I shared common experiences with my siblings and my classmates. There are little incidences I recall and that bring a smile to my face. When you see a grin on someone's face when they are alone you know that is what is happening. The look of sorrow may also appear. That is memory at work, reliving the emotion. Many of those moments can only be shared with the person you made them with. Only they will understand the true meaning.
 Our childhood is a world of perceptions. We see what others are doing and attempt to emulate them. Some of us will grasp onto a perception and never let that escape us. We will become the quintessential embodiment of that perception. Others will never perceive their " place " in the world and remain wondering. I would say I am the later. I claim no occupation that defines me, no perception that I choose to emulate. I have, for the most part, been busy being me. The only problem there is, knowing who I am. But that is another discussion for another day.
 My advice for today's world is, dial it back a little. We are straining to see beyond the perception. That action must come in a natural way, it can not be forced. In finding the answers you must first understand the question. Each of us will form our own picture in due time. Some paint that picture early and strive to " color " it in. Others are satisfied with a brief sketch, a working drawing if you want to think of it that way. In the end we are left with memories and emotions. The quantity of each is not so important as the quality. As for me I haven't come up with the final draft just yet, but I'm working on it.