Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

family story

 Families can get complex. Now take my father, he had three brothers. His eldest brother Elwood and himself shared the same mother, Clara, but his other brothers had a different Mom. I have a sister and two brothers. My sister and I share the same Mother, but my brothers have a different Dad. Today they would say we all came from broken homes. I don't think anything was broken, unless you are counting hearts. Grandmother Clara passed away and Dad's father remarried. My own Mom got divorced for whatever reasons and remarried. So I'm certain their were broken hearts involved in both scenarios. Although in the later you could argue there was a mutual understanding but I don't know that for sure. Mom never talked about any of that. That is just the way things were done in her time. Private things remained private.
 I have always thought of my brothers as brothers. I don't think of them as half-brothers. How can you be half a person ? Reminds me of the insurance commercial you hear all the time about a half a car. They do have a last name that is different than mine. I never really gave that a thought either. My sister tells me it was pointed out to her one day on the school bus. Some kid told they couldn't be her brothers because of that. She went home and asked Mom and got the explanation. That is all there was to that. That knowledge didn't change a thing.
 My oldest brother Harold left this earth. It'll be two years Dec 19th. His biological father, Donald died in 1999. Dad passed back in 1990. So, all the Dads' are gone and my Mom remains. She is 87 this year. Brother Dan is going to my sisters house this year for Thanksgiving. It will be the first time in many years that any of us were together for a holiday. We have spread to the four winds. Family dynamics can be as complex as the relationships that created them. Is it those dynamics that are the substance of those holiday movies. There is always love at the core and I believe that much is factual. The rest of the story, as the late Paul Harvey was fond of telling, is what makes it interesting and entertaining.
 There is Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad didn't have a life before me, they were just born Mom and Dad. My brothers and sister were the same way. They just were. I didn't get a choice about any of that. Then I started growing up and thinking about things. I began to make choices. That is not a bad thing. The bad part is when I began making choices without knowing the whole story. You know, the part Paul Harvey was fond of talking about. It starts with our family and spreads from there. Years pass and we make our choices. It doesn't take very long for us to become convinced. We know the deal, don't we ? Well that all depends. Just how well do we know our siblings ? When my sister and brothers left the house, I was the youngest, they just went there own way. I didn't see them much after that. Then I left to start my life. We have run across each other in a casual way over the years but not like those television movies.
 I think for me, in my situation and circumstance, I have missed out. Because we all moved out, as the saying goes, and went our own ways we did lose touch. I would have liked to get to know my father as an adult. What I mean is to connect with him, man to man. I never really got that chance. With my brothers it was the same. In our relationships I remained the little brother, the kid. Now, with my sister it is different. We have stayed " connected " more so than the others. I really don't know much about my brothers, personally. I am not familiar with their paths, not they mine. Oh, we have stories to share and have done so. The thing is, they don't know, neither do I, the rest of the story. I do wonder if the characters in a story can share that story with each other ? Is that possible ? I'm thinking it is unlikely. I'm thinking that only you can know the rest of the story. The reason is simple, it is your story.