Just Me

Just Me
Look,I'm just sayin'

Monday, November 14, 2016

see what I'm saying

 I'm really not surprised but disappointed with the reaction I receive to some of my postings. I'm not disappointed when folks don't agree with my observations, but disappointed when it appears to offend them. I just find it difficult to write in platitudes. I don't see the point in that. So, I preface what I am saying with an entire paragraph, explaining that something is only my perception or idea. Then it is met with an attitude of indignation or defensive remarks. The disappointment comes from my lack of ability. I can only assume my readers didn't understand what I was saying. And yes, sometimes that is very frustrating. When you offer, what you consider some insight into something, and are met with rejection it can be frustrating. That is doubly so when what you offer is nothing more than your own perception, not claiming that to be the reality. The point being, it is my perception.
 I find it somewhat baffling. There are many folks that pay a therapists to help them with their issues. These trained therapists attended college or whatever to learn what to say. For a fee they tell these folks what the perceptions are. It is my guess they are really just telling you what you already know. The therapists just validates your thinking with that perceived notion they are somehow " qualified. " Now, that is not meant to disparage the profession of therapists, counselors and mental health professionals, they do serve an important function. Things is, I don't believe you can teach empathy. Either you have that quality or you don't. Some folks require that validation from a pro in order to accept the answers.
 The frustration for me is this ; if I had a string of letters after my name my observations and perceptions would automatically be valid. Yes, those letters would lend credence to those statements. Some folks, that don't know me at all, would fight for me , saying he has a PhD ! If I where to write an opinion piece under a  pseudonym followed by PhD I'm certain some would readily adopt my opinion as fact. That is especially true on social media. The baffling part is why do those same people reject any opinion from those that are not " professionals " ? Reality is what we perceive it to be. My reality is certainly different than yours. Neither one of those " realities " is correct. Why ? Because a third person will surely come along and offer a different view altogether.
 I think we all need to quit trying to make each other " believe " our reality. I didn't say quit trying to have others " see " that reality and that is a big difference. If I can get you to see my reality we will begin to understand each other. The frustration begins with statements like, you can't understand what it is like to be " whatever " because you are not one. True, that statement is always true. I can not know your reality, you need to show it to me. Exposing your reality is a big risk I understand that. It can get you labeled as a racist, bigot, sexist and many other vile and hurtful names. Well unless someone is paying you to say that stuff, privately, in session, then it is therapy. And even if you don't accept it then, you get to fire that person ! It is safer that way for sure. I fully understand that. I'm no different than anyone else and I am frustrated by that. I often temper my words and writings with that very thing in mind. Yes I am concerned about that. I have no desire to be labeled. I don't believe anyone does. Just saying, I don't care I'll speak my mind, doesn't make you some kind of champion. That is the kind of thinking that turns people into despots.
  I am disappointed in myself when I fail to convey my message. I am not blaming the listener or the reader. The burden is on me. I sometimes grow frustrated and lash out. That is a human response. I can also be relentless. I am aware of that as well. I do like to believe if I am presented with your reality I can begin to see it. That is if you can provide perspective beyond, you'll never understand because. When we say that, what we are really saying is, there can be no other truth but mine. I get it, I am the same way. It would help if we could talk about it without all the accusations and name calling. You know we aren't really that far apart. We need to quit looking in the mirror and looking out the window. You just never know what you might see. It could change your world.