an agitated American

I sat and wrote for over an hour. Then I reread it and discovered I had said nothing. I hit the delete button. I do try to say something entertaining or informative. I don't think many would be interested in my day to day activities. My life isn't very exciting. I listen to the news and don't have anything to add to that. The fires in Tenn. are just awful, the plane crash with the soccer players is horrific. You already knew all of that. Donald Trump is tweeting about the flag. That is a controversy. Although I hate to admit it I tend to agree with him that there should be some punishment for that action. Yes, the supreme court said it was fine. For over two hundred years we held a different view, at least 48 of the fifty states did. I'm not saying you can't protest, give your speeches or whatever. I am saying if you don't have enough common sense and empathy to understand the deep emotional response you will create by that action , it should be punishable by law. If calling another person an offensive name can be considered a hate crime and punished as such, how can flag burning not be a hateful expression ? Shouldn't it be a hate crime ? Oh, it may be legal but it is right ? As I have said on many occasion you cannot legislate morality or common sense. I can punish you for lack of both however. Isn't that what we are doing when we prohibit saying certain words and phrases ? Isn't that what we are doing when we punish those folks that display offensive signs, symbols and flags ? We are removing the Ten Commandments from government property because why ? It is offensive. Well burning that flag is offensive to me. The supreme court says I must allow it, that is the law of the land.
 Well, I think America is having an identity crisis. We don't know what we want to be anymore. We mustn't be exclusive, no inclusiveness is our motto. But being inclusive means allowing anything and anyone right ? Is it that simple ? Maybe we should just abandon the whole concept of government. How about a co-op. Yeah that'll work. The ones wanting to work can work, the ones wanting to live off the co-op can just do that. Hey, short of killing each other we can just do our thing, unrestrained. Say whatever you like, unless it is offensive, desecrate only what is symbolic to the co-op, everything else would be a hate crime. Oh, I know we will just make it illegal to hate. We can legislate emotion right ? That is why it is okay to burn the flag, that won't cause any emotional response. It's the law.
Well, I guess I am still angry. Not sure what the anger really is, but recognize it is there. Maybe it is this Flag burning thing again. It is like a thorn in my side. Every once in a while it bothers me. I don't think there is much I can do to change it though. Perhaps if I had millions of dollars to have the case reheard in the court I could effect a change. The thing is, it was just an opinion. We the people have the final say. Maybe it is time we spoke up, Donald Trump has, and is being vilified by some for it. Sorry I agree with him on this one. I couldn't bring myself to vote for him or her but that doesn't mean I can't agree with some of their views. I also know some will call me a Trump supporter and perhaps not wish to speak to me anymore. Oh well, I have never been one much for just saying what people want to hear. I offer my opinions freely, you don't have to accept them.
 Was this entertaining or informative ? Only if you are interested in my opinion. But I guess if you took the time to read it , it was something. I'm not much of an activist. I generally accept things the way they are. Some would call it complacency or indifference. I don't see it that way. I'm just watching, waiting and learning. I offer my opinions, which is a passive thing really, and take little action. I do remind myself, frequently, that they are just my opinions. There is a fine line between activists and extremists. For now I'm just an opinionated old man. I'm fine with that. I'm just a bit agitated at the present time but it'll pass.

my brothers keeper

There are times when I find myself becoming a cynic. I wonder if I am justified ? Sadly, in too many instances I believe I am. Something that brought this to the forefront is this past election. Just who can you trust ? If this is the best America has to offer we are genuinely in trouble. Hear that ? That is cynicism. I listen to this television commercial about car insurance. You have probably heard it too. In it the guy says the insurance company didn't give him full car replacement. He goes on to say, they told me I picked the wrong policy and continues with, no, I picked the wrong insurance company. Oh its' subtle but its' there. The fault lies with the company not the person. He didn't buy the correct policy and it is somehow the company's fault ! Now you tell me he didn't buy whatever policy he wanted right. Sounds to me like it was his fault as I'm certain the company would have gladly sold him a higher priced policy that would have guaranteed full car replacement. And why should that bother me ? Because it is just adding to this whole attitude of " I'm not responsible " for anything that is going on in this country. More of this " cry baby " stuff. You bought the wrong policy ! The company sold you what you asked for and that is exactly what you got !
 All this political correctness is adding to the cynicism I feel. If folks aren't allowed to speak plainly and say what they are really thinking it is no wonder. How am I supposed to know what it is you're thinking if you aren't allowed to say it ? Oh, it's offensive. Well, I would rather offend you than deceive you. Not everyone is going to like my view but that's alright, I will tell you, plainly what that view is. And what really gets me going is the blaming for what happened a hundred years ago. I'm not responsible for what anyone did a hundred years ago ! I may be my brothers keeper, but not my grandfathers ! To be your brothers keeper is to watch out for and take care of your fellow man. There just isn't anything I can do to change the past. I can learn from it, that is true, but, news flash, not everything in the past was wrong ! To learn is not always to replace. There are truths that remain generation after generation. Progress doesn't mean replacing with something new. Progress means understanding. You don't need to rewrite history to make progress.
 Well, I guess that is my rant for this day. I woke up feeling annoyed by all of this. The election is over, the decision was made, but all I hear is complaining. Hey, I didn't vote for him or her but I'm not complaining about the results. I knew one of them would win that is how it works in America. Trump said the election was rigged. Hillary said, the foundation of Democracy is the peaceful transition of power and you should accept the results. Both just added to the cynicism I feel. Can you believe any of them ? Yeah, today I'm a big time cynic but it'll pass. There are still good, honest folk out there.  

Blood

 Following the blood. Since we have " discovered " DNA we have become somewhat obsessed with that action. We can send off a sample and get a chart back that tells us that information. We can then adopt the " blood " line we choose. Well, at least if we like what we see that is. If that group is currently enjoying favor in some way we can claim that heritage. I see that all the time. Folks I have known all my life suddenly embracing their heritage. Strangely they know nothing of that heritage beyond what they have read in books. Your blood doesn't give you a heritage, society does. Heritage is inherited property or traditions. Just because you had a fifth great grandfather that was, pick your flavor, that doesn't make you one.
 I admit I have been curious as to what be in my blood. I'm fairly certain I come from Germanic peoples, European and Scandinavian. I'm as equally certain there are more. It is a matter of curiosity only though, as I am an American. There is no DNA test that will convince me otherwise. DNA is the building block, science has shown that, but what was built was an American. Perhaps some foreign materials were used in doing so but that doesn't change the outcome. Near as I can tell I came out of Northwest woods, on Long Island, in the state of New York. Yes I have ancestors that lived in England and Sweden. That is a fact of history. I have no claim to that heritage as I inherited nothing from them. I didn't grow up celebrating their traditions. I know nothing about being British or Swedish, nothing beyond what I have read in books or seen in the movies. To say I was either one would be a complete lie. No, I'm an American alright.
 I am what I am because of where I came from. Our environment makes us what we are, not our blood. My values, my faith, and my traditions come from my parents. Theirs came from their upbringing. I was raised as an American. Only my maternal grandmother would have remembered the traditions of her homeland. My grandmother spoke of those traditions occasionally but didn't practice them. She became an American in every way. Nor did she insist her children, and she had ten, claim Sweden in any way. Fact is, I couldn't tell you for certain that she ever became a US citizen. She was here before Social Security and never collected that. I know she never voted. She didn't drive a car. She did become an American though, no doubt about that. That she married an American could not be disputed. Grandfather Horace and his family date back to before there was a America ! His family fought in the war for independence. His DNA would show he was European, most likely English.
 All this following the blood is interesting. It can show us where we came from. The thing is we should be more concerned with where we are. At least that is my thinking. I'm not a German, a Swede or anything else, I'm an American. My thinking is the faster we can get people to understand that the better off the country will be. We must be a country of Americans ! If you are not willing to accept the American tradition you have no place here. That doesn't mean I hate you or wish you harm. It means you need to go where you can practice and embrace your traditions. This is America ! And what defines Americans ? A spirit , that is what defines America. The spirit that all men are created equal. That also means all men must stand on their own two feet. Americans are responsible for their own fate, not what the government decides. We the people are the government. To govern is to limit. That is the purpose, as simple as that. Freedom does not mean unlimited. Freedom does mean the ability to act within the constraints of what the people decide. Before that can happen we must all decide to be Americans. To sum it up, Love it, Leave it, or shut up ! Simple as that. It doesn't matter how you got here, that is the past. What matters is that you are here. Claim the past all you want, that isn't going to change today.

Faith is the engine

 Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Those are words of advice I heard when I was just a small child and have stayed with me ever since. Really the advice is to live in the moment and be grateful for what you have. Nothing is promised to us but the salvation of God and that depends on belief. The problem lies in the fact that we do expect things. We expect to be treated in a certain way and often we are not. We expect others to react in certain ways and they don't.  Then we are disappointed. It even happens with ourselves. There are days when I am disappointed in myself. In the early morning or late at night I sometimes think, I could have done more. I think I just didn't try hard enough. I also think it could be those words haunting me. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed : don't try, and you won't fail either.
 The truth of it is that you should expect nothing in return. If you can do that you will never be disappointed. When we become dependent upon others for our happiness we are walking a tight rope. One slip can be a disaster. If we remain focused and just take our steps carefully we should be alright. Yes there are those that would shake the rope, hoping to see you fall. It is the same desire as going to the races to see the car crashes. We sometimes take pleasure in the failure of others, somehow that is reassuring. It didn't happen to me ! We don't expect it to happen to us either.
 When does it start, this expectation of a return ? It begins with our first breath. We cry and we are fed. We know at birth to expect that reaction, a cry for help. Over time we learn to do for others, to please them or provide for their needs. For every action we begin to expect a result. The best among us take pleasure in the doing, not in the receiving. But, we are human after all and expect something in return. For every action there is a reaction. That is what we are taught in school, by science. In science we are told that reaction is always equal and opposite, but that doesn't apply to human behavior. People are not so predictable. The reaction may be disappointing. The degree of disappointment is proportionate to the amount of emotion you expend. How much did it matter ? The question is, how much did you expect in return ? If you expected nothing, it doesn't matter at all. But then, doesn't that also depend upon how much you value the recipient ? To a stranger it is easy to be indifferent but what of those we care for, and especially those we love ? Should we not expect something from them ? Do they not fed our emotions ? And what are emotions but an outward expression of our souls. What food do we require for that soul to grow ? Is it not a reinforcement of a promise made to us. Remember we are promised one thing, and one thing only . The achievement of that promise is dependent upon our actions in this world, not the reactions we receive. Taking the correct actions is the reward in itself, the expectation of nothing in return, but the fulfillment of a promise. And it is a promise that can not be fulfilled by anyone on this earth and is solely dependent upon faith.
 Life is a difficult thing. It doesn't get any easier as the years go by. It does get easier to just let things go and not be so disappointed. We tend to become more contemplative. Some of us learn to forgive. We learn that forgiveness isn't something given, but received. When we learn to forgive ourselves we learn to let it go. There is no disappointment, only the hope of tomorrow remains. It is like the Bible says, these three remain, Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is love. To love is to give without an expectation of return, Hope drives us forward and Faith is the engine. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Love never disappoints.  

The church key incident

 Yesterday as I was scrolling down my Facebook timeline a picture caught my eye. It was a tiny blowfish. Smallest I think I've ever seen. Now some folks called them bottlefish and others still puffers. Whatever name you prefer, to us from East Hampton, they are all the same fish. I call then bottlefish. I haven't had the pleasure of eating them in quite some time. Decades to be truthful about it. I would guess sometime in the 1960's is about right. I have never forgotten just how good they taste or how rough their skin is. You see, you skin a bottlrfish, they don't have scales. The underside of those fish are like sandpaper. The " grit " is large enough if you grab it tightly it doesn't hurt much but let it slip through your fingers and ow ! It'll rip your skin off. We used pliers most of the time. Once they were skinned out and gutted Mom would boil them. After that they were made into the most delicious salad you have ever eaten. I swear it tasted like Lobster to us. I heard that some folks called them the Lobster of the sea , instead of chicken. Whatever you want to call it, it was, in the local vernacular " some fittin' Bub. " Of course a " bean sandwich " which I saw later on in the day comes near to it. Haven't had one of those in a good while either.
 I called Mom for Thanksgiving and  told her what I had seen. She just laughed about it and asked me if I remembered the time one of those fish had eaten the church key. Laughing along with her, I answered of course I do. This is one of those stories that has been in the family for years and gets retold every time bottlefish are mentioned. First perhaps a little explanation is needed. You know what a bottlefish is, but do you know what a church key is ? In this context a church key is a can opener for beer cans. This story goes back to the days before flip top cans. The pull top we know today didn't appear until 1965. The story is that I was fishing with Dad. We had gone out in our row boat and was catching bottlefish. Oh, we got into a mess of them. We were throwing them into a bucket and they would naturally blow up. The reason some call them blow fish. Well, they take up a lot of room  in that bucket when doing so. The easiest thing to do is to pop them. Us kids loved to do that although I guess it is kinda cruel. Anyway, I took Dads' church key, all beer and soda drinkers carried one and jabbed at those fish. The skin is rather tough and not easy to poke a hole through. Well, as I did that the fish just naturally jumped around. I thought it was gonna bite me ! I drew my hand back real quick and the church key went flying overboard. I knew I was in trouble. I stayed quiet about it until Dad asked for the church key. Thinking fast I told him I tried to poke that fish and the fish ate it ! If you have ever seen a bottlefish you know their mouths are quite small and they have bucked teeth. Dad wasn't buying that story for an instant. I had to confess to what really happened. Needless to say the fishing trip was over !
 It was after that I started carrying a pocket knife. That was not going to happen to me again. After Dad got over being mad about not being able to open his next beer he told everyone that story. Oh, he had a good laugh at my expense that much is sure. I learned a valuable lesson. Always take a knife with you when fishing and don't ever,ever lose the church key ! It is a lesson I'm afraid the kids today will never learn. You don't need a church key anymore and drinking beer on the boat is frowned upon, illegal even in some places. Yes and it isn't smart to carry a pocket knife anymore either. I do but get a pass because I'm an old man. If I were a kid it would be totally different. Times change. I'm betting that bottlefish salad would taste just as good as in the past. ( sigh ) I'll never know for sure though. I don't think I'll ever get those fish again and I know Mom wouldn't be there to make that salad. It will remain a memory, a memory with a story.

giving the gift

 With Christmas coming we start to think of what we may receive. What gifts await ? The excitement builds to a fever pitch, or at least it did when I was a child. I don't think that same excitement exists anymore, the kids today are far too aware. Setting that aside, each year the expectations diminish. That is a product of maturity. We begin to think about others more than ourselves. At some point we become aware. We become concerned not with what we are getting, but with what we are giving. Striving to give the perfect gifts to please others. The enjoyment is in seeing their smiles and maybe even fulfilling a wish they had. That is what brings you happiness. The joy is in the giving.
 I was thinking about this as I did a little shopping. The grandkids are growing up and there isn't much they want. That is simply because there isn't much they don't already have. It just could be that they are a bit spoiled in that regard. Or, it could be the result of living in a credit oriented world. It is easy to charge the things you want. When I was growing up there was Sears and Roebuck or JC Penny that offered those revolving charge accounts. They were the primary source for Santa. Took the rest of the year to pay for it. But that was in the nineteen sixties. Not many folks had charge cards and the like. Only the very well to do would have those. As a result we didn't get much in the way of " luxury " items during the year. There was your birthday but that wouldn't net but one or two gifts. You had to really consider what you wanted before saying anything. Pick out that one thing you just had to have. So now I find it difficult to find anything to give them that will elicit that response I want. And yes, I want to see that look on their face and a twinkle in their eye. That is the magic of Christmas morning. That; how did you know this is what I wanted, even when I didn't know it look ? You know, the gift that they don't just sit aside immediately. That one that captures their attention.
 I learned a tradition from my mom. I have mentioned this tradition in blogs before. The tradition is listening to the Christmas tree. Turn out the lights, except for the tree of course, and anything making  noise. Then just sit and look at your tree, taking in the details. Listen closely, the tree begins to whisper. It may speak of the past the present or the future. The important thing is to listen. I have learned that the gifts under the tree are not what was important. Whatever gifts are under that tree today will soon be memories. The only thing that lasts is what we leave behind. Those are the true gifts we received, those memories. We don't remember the objects, although they may be a reminder, what we remember is the emotion.
 I long for the days when less was more. The more was the thought that went into those gifts. Yes, you could call it love. But we did spend quite a bit more time thinking about the person that gift was intended for. When we could only give a few, each one had to count. Now it seems like quantity is what is important. Yes, when I was a kid, we counted. I'd like to tell you otherwise but that would be less than truthful. How many did I get compared to what my brothers or sister got ? I outgrew that when I became aware of the cost of things. Yeah, about the time Santa came into serious question.  Then I looked for what I really wanted. If I got that it was tremendous. Funny, I don't remember ever being disappointed. I'm certain I didn't get all I asked for. The truth is, I did get everything I needed. Mom and Dad never disappointed.
 Well, the grandkids are grown and don't expect a thing. Asking them for a Christmas list you are met with a smile. Morgan wrote a few things down and Mark just said, Santa knows what I want. It appears that they have learned a thing or two about Christmas. They are not so concerned with receiving anymore. Oh, I'm sure they expect a few of the important things in life to teenagers. I'm as equally certain that Santa knows exactly what they want. As for grandpa and grandma we are just gonna wing it. The thing is we will give them what we always have, all our love. It was the gift I received growing up and one I tried to give to my children. The grandkids deserve that and more. Maybe one day the grandkids will sit and listen to that Christmas tree and hear the whispers. Those whispers always speak of love.

Thank You

 Happy Thanksgiving. Today we will all celebrate by eating way too much. I pray that everyone gets to spend time with whatever family members they can muster. Don't misunderstand me, I like the food part of this holiday as much as the next guy, but I like the idea it brings family together better. I think we should have a national reunion day. A day set aside to just get with your family, no special meals, no gift giving, just get together for the sake of getting together. It would a national holiday and illegal for anyone to work, anywhere. If you didn't buy it the day before, too bad. Well, except for the hospitals. You gotta have the hospitals open. I don't see any way around that one, sorry Doctors and Nurses. Oh, and the military, police and firefighters. Yeah, they gotta work too. Then you have the folks that support all those folks, dispatchers and such. When you think about it there are lots of folks that just don't get a day off. Hey, maybe we could call it appreciation day, instead of reunion day. Those of us not working taking the day off to appreciate those that do. Of course that doesn't do much for the ones working now does it ? I'll have to rethink this whole thing now.
 They say Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday of the year. Oh yeah, we Americans will travel for a good meal. Why we came clear across an ocean the first time. I hear the meal was worth it though. I guess that is why Americans invented the drive through. That way we could travel and eat at the same time. When you have a country as big as ours that does become a necessity. There is a good variety to choose from as well. Isn't America great ? If only my ancestors had set up a drive through on the Oregon trail. I'd be rich today ! But Thanksgiving is a day to get the family together. It began as a celebratory feast with the Native Americans. The first ones lasted three days ! I guess they hadn't thought up the idea of a long weekend yet. So you could say you are supposed to invite guests. I guess as sentiments changed we didn't want those folks at the table. Rather ironic isn't it ? Time and traditions change. I remember the days of only seeing Santa Claus at the end of todays parade. And he disappeared after Christmas eve too ! Now, you might see the jolly old elf anytime, anyplace. Kinda takes the magic out of it for me.
 Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday. We have a parade and eat. Those two things are always good. The Christmas music begins in earnest tomorrow ! Not that I haven't heard a few strains of jingle bells already, but it goes up full blast tomorrow. Black Friday and cyber Monday. Neither mean all that much anymore. Manufactured " holidays " is what I call them. In the same category as those made up ones by Hallmark to sell greeting cards. Yeah, there is a card for that was around long before, there's an " app " for that. I haven't looked but I'm sure someone will come up with an app to get apps.
 Happy Thanksgiving to all. Eat your full and take a nap. Get up from that nap and eat some more. That's what the day is about. Enjoy your family. Now, let's think about a " family reunion " holiday. How could we make that happen. I guess we would all have to go where our family members were working to include them. I guess it had best be in the summer so we could be outside. Have it like a picnic. Hmm, something to think about. To all of you working on this day, Thank You.  

  

Details

 My wife made my mounted moose. You may have seen a picture of it on Facebook. I post a lot of stuff on Facebook. Probably more than I should but it seems like a harmless enough thing to do. Well at least in my case in does, I don't have anything to hide. I do wonder about some of the postings I see. But all of that is another story. I was talking about my moose. She finished up the crocheting and I  mounted it to a wall plaque. I really like it. My grandson came over and I proudly showed it to him. He smiled at it and said, I like this part. The part he was talking about is called the scruff.  The scruff is a bunch of whisker like strings hanging from the chin. Now, not being a big hunter or animal expert I didn't know that is what that was called until my wife made it. The instruction book says is the chin scruff. Strangely I went to google and couldn't find any reference there to such a thing. So, I'm not certain about the accuracy of that anymore. Well, it doesn't matter much the point was that little detail is what he liked. That led me to think, it is always in the details isn't it ? The little details are what attract the attention.
 I have always admired those that can reduce things to the lowest denominator. They are the ones that pick up on those details. Whether they are artists, writers or musicians they just go directly to the point. The artist that does caricatures best exemplify  that ability. They just pick out that one feature,  and go with it. Writers say whatever in a few words. I think I admire that because it is so easy to get lost. Isn't that why we stare at great works of art ? We are looking for those details that speak to us. Classical music is the same way, you have to learn to listen to that to fully appreciate it. I didn't and I don't. I like things simple and direct. Simplifying the details is a gift few people posses. Those that sort through all the static and distraction and get to the point. The trick is to identify that detail that appeals to the majority of the people. Now take my moose. It looked great before that scruff was added. I didn't even know a moose should have a scruff but when it was added, it was perfect. The picture in my mind was complete. Did I know, subconsciously, that a moose should have chin scruff ? The only moose I am familiar with is Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle doesn't have chin scruff though. Curious, but maybe I have seen that somewhere else. At any rate that was the detail that finished it.
  How many times do we miss the details in life ? It is easy to do when we concentrate on ourselves. It is a fault of us humans. I'm certainly no exception to that rule. I get self absorbed. When that happens I  miss the details. I begin to react to situations without knowing all the facts, there is a detail I have missed. There are times when I am aware of that detail, but consider it insignificant.  That is simply because I am looking at the detail as it pertains to me, not you. Each of us do perceive things in a different way. That is why we have likes and dislikes, taste we call it, in just about everything. When we understand the " details " that please others we begin to understand that person. It is like picking out a gift for them. If you know the little " details " you can pick something appropriate that speaks to them. The " details " define the person or the object. Learn the details.
 You may find that you don't like what you learn or see. There are no guarantees. You do owe it to yourself and others to learn as much as you can before passing that judgement. Remember judgement is not condemnation. Judgement is nothing more than making a reasoned decision based on what you consider sensible. It is alright for others to reach a different judgement.

The Monumental Moose

family story

 Families can get complex. Now take my father, he had three brothers. His eldest brother Elwood and himself shared the same mother, Clara, but his other brothers had a different Mom. I have a sister and two brothers. My sister and I share the same Mother, but my brothers have a different Dad. Today they would say we all came from broken homes. I don't think anything was broken, unless you are counting hearts. Grandmother Clara passed away and Dad's father remarried. My own Mom got divorced for whatever reasons and remarried. So I'm certain their were broken hearts involved in both scenarios. Although in the later you could argue there was a mutual understanding but I don't know that for sure. Mom never talked about any of that. That is just the way things were done in her time. Private things remained private.
 I have always thought of my brothers as brothers. I don't think of them as half-brothers. How can you be half a person ? Reminds me of the insurance commercial you hear all the time about a half a car. They do have a last name that is different than mine. I never really gave that a thought either. My sister tells me it was pointed out to her one day on the school bus. Some kid told they couldn't be her brothers because of that. She went home and asked Mom and got the explanation. That is all there was to that. That knowledge didn't change a thing.
 My oldest brother Harold left this earth. It'll be two years Dec 19th. His biological father, Donald died in 1999. Dad passed back in 1990. So, all the Dads' are gone and my Mom remains. She is 87 this year. Brother Dan is going to my sisters house this year for Thanksgiving. It will be the first time in many years that any of us were together for a holiday. We have spread to the four winds. Family dynamics can be as complex as the relationships that created them. Is it those dynamics that are the substance of those holiday movies. There is always love at the core and I believe that much is factual. The rest of the story, as the late Paul Harvey was fond of telling, is what makes it interesting and entertaining.
 There is Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad didn't have a life before me, they were just born Mom and Dad. My brothers and sister were the same way. They just were. I didn't get a choice about any of that. Then I started growing up and thinking about things. I began to make choices. That is not a bad thing. The bad part is when I began making choices without knowing the whole story. You know, the part Paul Harvey was fond of talking about. It starts with our family and spreads from there. Years pass and we make our choices. It doesn't take very long for us to become convinced. We know the deal, don't we ? Well that all depends. Just how well do we know our siblings ? When my sister and brothers left the house, I was the youngest, they just went there own way. I didn't see them much after that. Then I left to start my life. We have run across each other in a casual way over the years but not like those television movies.
 I think for me, in my situation and circumstance, I have missed out. Because we all moved out, as the saying goes, and went our own ways we did lose touch. I would have liked to get to know my father as an adult. What I mean is to connect with him, man to man. I never really got that chance. With my brothers it was the same. In our relationships I remained the little brother, the kid. Now, with my sister it is different. We have stayed " connected " more so than the others. I really don't know much about my brothers, personally. I am not familiar with their paths, not they mine. Oh, we have stories to share and have done so. The thing is, they don't know, neither do I, the rest of the story. I do wonder if the characters in a story can share that story with each other ? Is that possible ? I'm thinking it is unlikely. I'm thinking that only you can know the rest of the story. The reason is simple, it is your story.  

as serious as a heart attack

 I just finished reading another's blog, as I often do in the morning, and she was talking about taking life seriously. My first thought was, as serious as a heart attack, which is a saying I use a lot. A heart attack implies death doesn't it ? And we should take our death seriously. For a Christian isn't that what we work our whole life for ? Yes, the lord does work in mysterious ways indeed. Which thought leads me to say, we should live our lives with honesty and integrity. In so doing, we will live a good life. As to purpose, well that is another topic altogether in my estimation. I can live a good and fruitful life without ever knowing to what purpose it was, as long as I was honest about it. I do believe whatever I need to know will be revealed to me. It is incumbent upon me to see it. All of this concerns that initial blog I read. Should we take life seriously ? Well, I have to agree with my friend that life is a serious business. It is ourselves that we have to guard against being taken too seriously. We can become convinced of our own importance, to our own detriment. Humility is key to happiness. Humility is cultivated by the absence of pride. There are about 7.5 billion people in the world. You are just one of them. If that simple fact doesn't humble you just a bit, you should reconsider. If you think of yourself as one in a million , there are still over seven thousand just like you in the world !
 We are the aggregate of our life experiences. Each and every nuance does effect us. It is our job to take those experiences and apply them properly in every situation. When you think about that, it is quite the task. For the Christian isn't that the purpose of the Bible ? It is a sort of manual for using those experiences, those tools that we are given. It is true that we are sometimes handed a tool we have no idea how to us. In some cases we can't even imagine why we were given it ! But, the fact is all tools have a purpose, some generalized and some have a very specific function. Hey, that tool that hangs on the wall for years unused becomes indispensable when you need it. Without it you can't get the job done. I wonder if I am a general tool, the common everyday thing or do I have a special purpose ? I think we all like to believe we are special in some way. Nobody wants to be the hammer. That tool just gets tossed around and is easily replaced. But a specific tool, like a fine chisel, requires attention and care. It is highly valued. The question is, is one tool to be taken more seriously than another ? You need that hammer. You also need the chisel. The degree to which you need either depends upon the job being done. That speaks to your purpose. What are you here to do ? Does it matter ?  Yes, of course it matters and whatever that job is it needs to be taken seriously. Life is a serious business. The manner in which you conduct your business will determine its' success or failure. And what is the goal in life ? That goal, for the Christian, is to be achieved in death. As serious as a heart attack, indeed.          

Governing the government

  The elephant in the room is Donald Trump. He has made his presence known and isn't going away.  For good or bad he is the next President of the United States. The protests continue and likely will for a while. Whereas both actions are controversial both are protected by our constitution. It truly is a wonderful nation we live in. Are we divided ? Yes that is obvious to even the most casual of observers. The question is, what is that dividing line really ? Is it race ? Is it moral judgement or is it based on ethical choices ? Or is it as simple as the have and have nots ? Donald Trump has the task of uniting this country once again. Is that possible ? I believe it is. Will Trump to be the one to do ? No, the American people have to do that, no one man can accomplish that. Perhaps Trump, that elephant in the room has awoken something in all American that will not be put to sleep for a while. We did, ( the American people ), become complacent didn't we ? We feel asleep at the well. Fed and entertained we just let things go along as usual. It became easier to just allow anything to keep the peace. Some call that being liberal, I call it being passive. In what can only be called a bit of irony those that are the liberals, the passive, are rioting for a return to that passivity. The other faction, the conservatives, those of us that would rather stick with what we know works, have had enough. Like angry parents we are putting our collective foot down.
 This is certainly an uncomfortable time we are in. Tensions are high. Many are confused about what they are even feeling. Many are afraid. Those that are afraid cite many reasons for that fear while the others struggle to understand. The real fear is the new leadership. It is easy to just point a finger at Donald Trump and say it is him and his rhetoric that has caused this rift than to examine the real cause. The real cause is what we as Americans have allowed and indeed voted for. We attempted to " buy " safety and security. Just give the people what they want. If we just agree with everything, we can avoid conflict and controversy. And now the proverbial piper has to be paid. This is the true cost of freedom, what we are feeling right now. I'm certain those revolutionaries of our past felt the same way. Some were afraid, what will the king do and others were brave and bold. What was the big problem back then ? Taxes. It really was that simple wasn't it. The have and have nots. The ones starting the trouble were those that had to pay those taxes. It wasn't the wealthy elite. Most of them would have preferred the status quo. Business as usual. Once it was determined more money could be made by revolution, the war was on.
 A war. of sorts, has stared. This war concerns a return to what was. The people have spoken and chosen a new leader. Many are afraid of this new leader for the choices he may make. The government is going to be different. We can't be sure what to expect. That is the fear here, the unknown. The people are forcing the hand of government. All the politicians that want to keep their jobs had best be paying attention. No longer is it business as usual. No longer will government rule the people, the people will govern the government ! That is the purpose of that Constitution.

Anniversary

 Thirty two years ago today I got married. It was on a Friday, in the afternoon, after work. I was in the Navy stationed in Groton, Conn. That was long before the big casino was built there and the local tribe, the Mohegans, were pretty much poor folks. We rented an apartment in Norwich and it was in Norwich that the ceremony took place. It was performed by a justice of the peace. I'd say that justice did a right fine job of it, we're still together, so it must have took ! Well I knew it would when I married her, call it a hunch if you like, but I just knew it.
 Thirty two years sounds like a long time but it isn't really. Oh, there are times when it does, when you start remembering all the places we have been since then. Being a military family we sure did move around a lot. After Conn. we went to North Carolina were I was a recruiter. We lived in a small town called Statesville. Nice little place and I got to come home every night. From there we went to Louisiana. There I worked on the LCAC program. LCAC stands for, Landing Craft Air Cushioned and it was something new back then, still in development. After that it was on to the USS Nitro out of Earle New Jersey. That's when we moved to Greensboro Maryland. I knew I would be going to sea a lot and I wasn't about to have my boys living in New Jersey ! Why anyone from Long Island knows what living in New Jersey is. Nothing but crime and bad drivers ! Well not my wife and children. And so we have been in Greensboro ever since. All that took thirty two years. But when I look at my wife's smiling face in the morning it is just like yesterday. All I see in her eyes in the future, always have and expect I always will.
 Today the plan is to go see my grandson Mark play in a soccer game. He is fifteen. Thirty two years ago I couldn't have imagined that. We would have a grandson 15 years old ! Doesn't seem like it has been enough time for that, not to mention the two granddaughters. But generation are usually twenty years. At least that is what the average is. My boys are second generation and the grandkids third. When you look at it by generation it does seem like a long time. I find the best way to view that is not by generations but by gaining new friends. Yes, they are my grandkids but they are my little friends first. Of course that little friend that is the grandson is almost as tall as I am and taller than his grandmother. No matter, they will always be kids to us, just like our own are.
 I wouldn't do it all again however. No sir, that is because I don't want a do-ever, it has been just perfect that way it was. It has been the way the it was supposed to be. No sense messing around with what works I say. My fondest prayer is that it all remains the same. I believe I got it right this time. There are some things that you should never change. She has been all I ever expected and more.   

Wreaths

 One month from today I, along with thousands of others, will be laying wreaths on the graves of our veterans. December 17 is the designated day for Wreaths Across America. I am happy to be a small part of this. It is a nationwide effort. The ultimate goal would be that every veteran received a wreath. These wreaths are not meant as a symbol of the Christian faith but rather as a symbol of eternal life. That symbolism dates way back to the days when the Egyptians and others thought evergreens were that symbol of eternal life, for the obvious reason.  A circle , of course, is unbroken as well.  It doesn't matter when they served. It only matters that they committed , at one time to serve, either voluntarily or by answering the call of the nation.
 Here in Greensboro, where I currently live, the closet family member I have in the cemetery would be my daughter in laws father. She will ensure he receives a wreath. I will purchase at least one and place it on the grave of a veteran. In years past I have chosen a Colonel Comegy, veteran of the civil war and one other at random. The tradition is becoming to say that veterans name out loud as you place the wreath and thank them for their service. The sentiment being, no one is forgotten as long as their name is spoken. A sentiment I agree with wholeheartedly.
 I have distributed the forms for ordering. So far the orders have been disappointing. I'm hoping many more will join in. I'm not much for badgering folks into buying anything. I can only tell them about the program and leave the rest to their hearts. Yes, it is a fundraiser as well, but that is not the motivation for me. Where it my decision alone I would donate the " proceeds " back to the organization to place additional wreaths. I haven't checked it all out but I'm certain someone somewhere is being paid to make the wreaths and operating costs. It could be no other way. I trust it is being run responsibly.
 On veterans day this year we placed about 250 flags on those graves. I know we will not get anywhere near that number of wreaths. Maybe 20% is achievable. How many others lie there in anonymity ? We could only identify those by existing markers or family members. Many of those graves have remained unvisited for many years, their family gone or moved away. I think it would ne a wonderful sight to see 250 wreaths placed there. Maybe one day.

Thanksgiving

   Thanksgiving is just around the corner. We will be celebrating at my home this year. It is a little small but we're family so it'll be alright. We don't mind being close to one another and everyone uses deodorant. We will have all the traditional fare. Everyone has their favorite things. For Thanksgiving I want cranberry sauce, jellied without the berries, and a rutabaga. Funny thing is I didn't know there was a difference between a rutabaga and a turnip until a few years ago. Mom always called them turnips, but they were rutabagas. Those are my requirements for the meal to be complete. Well other than the turkey everything else is optional. This year we are leaving out the green bean salad. Just not worth it.
 As with most families these days we are spread out. I have a brother living in Georgia, a sister in Florida and another son in New York. My wife's' family are all over the place as well. I was thinking about that and those Hallmark channel movies you see at the holidays. You know the ones where family comes from all over to be together. They usually have a large house with plenty of room for everyone. Yes, they will be drama but it will be followed by reconciliation. That is the usual theme anyway. I do wonder if this ever happens in real life. I personally don't know of any one that could afford such a thing. The logistics would be overwhelming. I mean how many people still live in a six bedroom house ? And those that did when the kids were home probably aren't there when the kids are all grown with their own families. It is a pleasant thought anyway.
 I often think I would have liked to live like the Waltons. Wasn't that an idealized view of living in rural America. The whole family stayed together in the same house, generation after generation. They all loved and supported each other. When one made a mistake the others rushed to help them. Oh, they got mad at one another, but never quit speaking to one another. They always said, goodnight. Wouldn't it be wonderful if that was achievable in the real world ? I have my doubts though, based on my family. We all grew up to be independent. That is what we were taught to be. The goal was to grow up, move out of the house, and start a family of your own. That is what you were expected to do. As a result we developed our own beliefs independent of what Mom and Dad may approve of. We decided on things without that input. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes not so much. Your family should be able to tell you things uncensored by fear of hurting your feelings. But, if they were not involved in the initial decision they are often viewed as interfering. That is were the drama begins. In those Hallmark movies those differences get resolved overnight. The reality is that seldom happens until a further, much more serious situation develops. Even then, the other disagreement is usually just set to the side temporarily.
 So my advice is gather around whatever family you can muster. Enjoy the meal and the company. Enjoy each other. I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.  

of the right opinion

   Yesterday I wrote about the wearing of these safety pins. It was met with some objections and that is fine. When one confronts a popular idea it is to be expected. What I was surprised about was the presenting of " fact " to prove I was wrong. It was surprising because what I wrote wasn't about being right or wrong. It was just my opinion.
 It has always been so but has taken a front seat lately, this notion of being of the correct opinion. First let me define what an opinion is: a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge: I googled that and wholeheartedly agree with that definition. That being established I will continue. How do we determine what opinion is the " correct " opinion ? That is solely determined by the person stating said opinion. There is no right or wrong ! So, why do we exert so much effort into trying to convince others of our opinions ? The answer is simple, because we believe it to be correct. It is useless to argue over opinion, doubly so when the person says it is just their opinion. Do not confuse opinion with fact. I may form my opinion based on what facts I have, but we must also remember that facts are subjective as well. They are subject to perception. And in that we will find what we perceive as being " the right opinion."
 We use facts, as well we should, in determining our opinions. In the case of this safety pin I read the " facts " that lead others to their opinion. In their opinion these pins will " bind us together " and "provide security to those feeling marginalized and scared." That is the opinion of whomever started the whole thing. Does that then make it a fact ? No, it doesn't. That is intent. It is only a fact to those that receive those feelings from seeing you wear that pin. I don't see it that way at all. I see it as a marker. It is an indication that you didn't want Trump to be president. That is what it is. Why do I say that ? These safety pins and the notion of them didn't appear until after the election. If Hillary or Gary Johnson had won would they be a thing ? I highly doubt that.
 Now if others want to wear this pin I don't really care. Everyone is entitled to their view. We are also entitled to our opinion. I grow annoyed when folks want to argue over opinion. There is no right or wrong opinion. When someone is " of the right opinion " it just means they agree with our opinion. The election has been held. Opinions have been stated, we call them votes. The predominant opinion is that Donald Trump is going to be our next president. Now, that is a fact. A fact that was created out of opinion. The opinions were tallied. Do I like the opinion ? It doesn't matter one bit if I do or not. And that is my opinion. My opinion is and will remain that the whole safety pin thing strikes me as a bit disingenuous. I'm wearing a safety pin to say I'm safe, you can talk to me, I'll protect you. Well if that is the way you feel where have you been for the last hundred years or so ? Have you been waiting to be empowered by a safety pin ! In my opinion it is akin to saying, I'm not racist, I have black friends ! And that is my opinion. Is it of the right opinion ? Not for me to decide is it ?

safety pins

 It started with ribbons and has shifted to a safety pin. They are called awareness ribbons and, I would assume an awareness pin. They are used to show support for a cause. Well, that is what they developed into anyway. But a little history here. The prevailing theory is it began with U S Cavalry soldiers wives. They supposedly wore a yellow ribbon, symbolizing the yellow scarf worn by cavalry soldiers, as a symbol of their love. There are quite a few different versions so take your pick. But, anyway it was popular thing long before Tony Orlando sang that song. My favorite story is that it came from a quote that Napoleon said.  A man will do a lot of fighting for a colored ribbon. He, of course, was referring to the ribbons that soldiers earn. And yes, some certainly will do a lot for those ribbons. So awareness ribbons are just that, to point out your accomplishments and make others aware of them. I earned a few during my time in the military and they are now in a shadow box hanging on the bedroom wall. They are there alongside my fathers' ribbons and medals from WW2.
 In more modern days, I think it may have begun with Pink ribbons showing support for breast cancer survivors. It was worn to show support, raise awareness and show that you cared. A symbol of solidarity. Nothing wrong with that. Other causes soon began adopting different colors to identify their causes. Then we have the whole rainbow thing going on. That's a flag though. The whole point was to show support. I get that. Now I'm , not much of a ribbon wearer, my actions speak for me. I was never one to display my " ribbons " as it feels like I'm bragging or something. As far as supporting a cause like breast cancer or other illnesses do I really need to display that ? I don't think so as any normal person would certainly support that sort of stuff. I mean, who wouldn't want to offer their support to someone suffering ? But that is just a personal thing and if you want to wear your ribbons, go for it.
 Now we have progressed to wearing a safety pin. As I understand it this safety pin is supposed to indicate that you are a safe person. You support everybody and everything. Oh, and you oppose Donald Trump, definitely you oppose Donald Trump. So, as I understand this whole safety pin thing by wearing that I am saying I'm not, name anything contrary to accepted social behaviors. I'm a safe person because I will not say or do anything to possibly offend you. I am identifying myself. Well to me this is just weird. This is a sort of reverse of the intent of those ribbons. These safety pins are divisive instead of being inclusive. That is their true purpose. What do they support ? Being a decent human being ? Is that really what people wearing them are trying to promote ? Look at me, I am an example of what a good person looks like. You can tell because I'm wearing a safety pin. Don't interact with those without a pin, they might hurt your feelings. I was taught that it was wrong to have people wear identifiers publically to show their shortcomings or to segregate them. You know like the scarlet letter or forcing the Jews to wear the Star of David. How is this different ? Now the " good " people are self identifying themselves in much the same manner. The same people that are calling for inclusiveness. Am I am the only one that sees the irony in that ? By not wearing a safety pin is not the implication going to be, that person must be unsafe ! A sort of reverse public shaming. Like pleading the fifth, and what does that say ?
 Well I will not be coerced into wearing any ribbons or safety pins. My actions speak for who I am. If you are afraid to even talk to me I'm sorry about that. The whole safety pin thing just strikes me as somewhat disingenuous. Yes some call it social awareness. I don't need a pin to tell me to be a good person. I don't need to wear a pin so you can feel safe. That is an issue of your own making if you feel otherwise. I have never been much for jumping on the bandwagon, too crowded for my taste. I'll stay off and walk among the people. Some of them I will like and others I will have issue with. That is the way life works.
 I know that this isn't a popular stand but it is the way I feel about this whole thing. Wearing ribbons to show support and raise funding for good is one thing. Wearing a safety pin to just say, I'm a good person, is just silly. My opinion. If you like it, do it. If it does any good at all I suppose it will be worth it. Me, I'll just go on treating people the way I always have. I don't believe anyone is afraid of me, I'm a safe person. I may not always agree with everything and anything that gains popularity. I might even disagree with you on matters of ethics and morality. I'm still safe enough, I won't kill you or subjugate you. If you make me mad enough I just won't talk to you anymore. I'll take my ball and go home.   

see what I'm saying

 I'm really not surprised but disappointed with the reaction I receive to some of my postings. I'm not disappointed when folks don't agree with my observations, but disappointed when it appears to offend them. I just find it difficult to write in platitudes. I don't see the point in that. So, I preface what I am saying with an entire paragraph, explaining that something is only my perception or idea. Then it is met with an attitude of indignation or defensive remarks. The disappointment comes from my lack of ability. I can only assume my readers didn't understand what I was saying. And yes, sometimes that is very frustrating. When you offer, what you consider some insight into something, and are met with rejection it can be frustrating. That is doubly so when what you offer is nothing more than your own perception, not claiming that to be the reality. The point being, it is my perception.
 I find it somewhat baffling. There are many folks that pay a therapists to help them with their issues. These trained therapists attended college or whatever to learn what to say. For a fee they tell these folks what the perceptions are. It is my guess they are really just telling you what you already know. The therapists just validates your thinking with that perceived notion they are somehow " qualified. " Now, that is not meant to disparage the profession of therapists, counselors and mental health professionals, they do serve an important function. Things is, I don't believe you can teach empathy. Either you have that quality or you don't. Some folks require that validation from a pro in order to accept the answers.
 The frustration for me is this ; if I had a string of letters after my name my observations and perceptions would automatically be valid. Yes, those letters would lend credence to those statements. Some folks, that don't know me at all, would fight for me , saying he has a PhD ! If I where to write an opinion piece under a  pseudonym followed by PhD I'm certain some would readily adopt my opinion as fact. That is especially true on social media. The baffling part is why do those same people reject any opinion from those that are not " professionals " ? Reality is what we perceive it to be. My reality is certainly different than yours. Neither one of those " realities " is correct. Why ? Because a third person will surely come along and offer a different view altogether.
 I think we all need to quit trying to make each other " believe " our reality. I didn't say quit trying to have others " see " that reality and that is a big difference. If I can get you to see my reality we will begin to understand each other. The frustration begins with statements like, you can't understand what it is like to be " whatever " because you are not one. True, that statement is always true. I can not know your reality, you need to show it to me. Exposing your reality is a big risk I understand that. It can get you labeled as a racist, bigot, sexist and many other vile and hurtful names. Well unless someone is paying you to say that stuff, privately, in session, then it is therapy. And even if you don't accept it then, you get to fire that person ! It is safer that way for sure. I fully understand that. I'm no different than anyone else and I am frustrated by that. I often temper my words and writings with that very thing in mind. Yes I am concerned about that. I have no desire to be labeled. I don't believe anyone does. Just saying, I don't care I'll speak my mind, doesn't make you some kind of champion. That is the kind of thinking that turns people into despots.
  I am disappointed in myself when I fail to convey my message. I am not blaming the listener or the reader. The burden is on me. I sometimes grow frustrated and lash out. That is a human response. I can also be relentless. I am aware of that as well. I do like to believe if I am presented with your reality I can begin to see it. That is if you can provide perspective beyond, you'll never understand because. When we say that, what we are really saying is, there can be no other truth but mine. I get it, I am the same way. It would help if we could talk about it without all the accusations and name calling. You know we aren't really that far apart. We need to quit looking in the mirror and looking out the window. You just never know what you might see. It could change your world.

Life above the bridge

 This blog is about perceptions I had as a child growing up. There were basically three worlds that I was aware of. I lived in one of them. My world was below the bridge, the other two above. Those other worlds, the one above the bridge, were about scholars and athletes. My world was about working for a living. The blue collar crowd as it is referred to today. The common man. That was the perception anyway and it was very real. Yes there were aberrations, those from my side of town that were intellectual and gifted athletically. They were far less likely to continue on into college. And high school athletes, especially from the tiny little town we were in, seldom get discovered by the scouts. So even those folks were more concerned with making a living than academic pursuits. Degrees don't put fish in the boat, Bub. No sir, that sheepskin looks good hanging on the wall but you can't eat it.
 Now those folks above the bridge all had money. They were the shop owners, bankers, and such like. I knew they weren't all millionaires but they didn't struggle to make a living. There clothes were always neat and clean, no dirt under their fingernails. They strutted around in their suits and ties, cordial enough when you were in their stores, but not wanting to associate with you. They drove station wagons and family cars. You didn't see any pick up trucks with a winch in the bed uptown ! And another thing, those folks ate in restaurants. I don't mean getting a hard roll and a coffee at the lunch counter, no they had dinner there. They spent more on one meal then we spent in a week for groceries.
 Yes it was those folks above the bridge that passed all the rules and regulations too. They had the political power because they had the money. And money means influence. Why those families up there went all the way back to the beginning, It was those same families that grabbed all the good ground and relegated us " common " folks to living below that bridge. Why anyone that knew anything about history could tell you that. You could tell yourself easy enough, just look at the names. How many of our neighbors last names were involved in any of that. Not many , not many at all. There were " upstreet " names and then all the rest.
 Those upstreet folks, the ones above the bridge were primarily concerned with making money. They wanted to make much as much as possible without having to work for it. That's what we commoners were for. We cut the grass, fixed their cars and plumbing, that sort of thing. Our political opinions were of no concern to them unless it involved another way to generate revenue, for them ! That meant not interfering with the tourists. Whatever you do, don't interfere with those folks. Those folks have even more money than the upstreeters. They get to do pretty much whatever they like. As long as they keep spending their money that is. We must at all costs cater to them.
 Now you may be saying to yourself what does this have to do with anything. Well, I'll try to explain. All those statements I made were perceptions, very real to me. If you were from one of the other worlds I'm certain you didn't see it that way. And that is what has just happened here in America with this last election. The commoners have finally spoken up. Yes, the uneducated workers from the other side of the tracks have spoken. The up upstreeters don't want to hear it. This could upset the tourists ! And when you upset the tourist revenues may suffer. We can't have that now can we. You see, for too long the upstreeters, the scholars' and athletes have been running things.
 Here is another perception. It was those upstreeters that ran me and my folks out of town. We couldn't afford to live and work there anymore. We had been regulated into extinction. The upstreeters attracted so many tourists they needed our land to house them. We just had to go. Yes, many sold their property for a great profit. What choice did they have ? When you can't earn enough to pay the taxes, you don't have a choice do you. Of course if you are an upstreeters that doesn't bother you, revenue will increase with these folks that have money to spend. I'll replace the lunch counter with a Starbucks ! No problem.
 And so I think this is what has happened here. The American people, the commoners if you will, are tired of moving. The majority have grown weary of the regulation and control of the political elite, the " upstreeters " in Washington. The commoners are fighting back. That is why you hear the cries for " common sense " The bottom line is, and always will be, in the end money will win out. How will the upstreeters buy out the commoners ? That is what we need to watch carefully. No doubt it will happen. Things will return to the status quo. Will it be affordable health insurance ? Or will it be an increased minimum wage ? Perhaps some cuts in expenditures. A compromise will be reached, and reached in favor of the upstreeters. Always has been. Life above the bridge goes on, unchanged.     

change

 I have made several attempts to write something this morning. It just isn't happening. I don't expect it will make much difference to others but it does bother me. My thoughts are stuck in a place I can't seem to reach. I don't write this to elicit any sympathy. I write in an attempt to explain. It is exhausting when you have to preface your every statement with several paragraphs of contextual philosophy or references validating your statements. Everyone is talking but few are understanding. Oh, they are listening alright but not understanding. Understanding does not mean acceptance, that is a separate action. Understanding is facing reality. One may not like what the reality is. I am not excluding myself from this. Much is based upon perception. We must remember that perception is reality to the one perceiving it. That is difficult to understand.
 Well that is about all I got this morning. I'm listening. That doesn't mean I won't comment. I do think the worst thing we can do is remain silent and unquestioning. Certainly we should temper our words. Reality can be a bitter pill to swallow. I was called a " condescending jerk " by someone I don't even know. Must have been the perception he received. It gave me pause, but I have decided he was wrong. That isn't the perception I got from reading my statement. Things is, I wasn't the one doing the perceiving ! Which is the reality ? You won't know that till after it happens. Speculation and expectation isn't reality. I would say this, remain calm and accept reality. You can't change what hasn't happened.

What did I miss

 I spent a great deal of time yesterday trying to understand. As the millennials " protest " or " riot " whichever way you choose to view it, I heard many people saying they are afraid. I can certainly understand being upset and disappointed when your candidate doesn't win, I've been there. I don't have a problem with the peaceful display of their feelings. I do have a problem with lawlessness. But what I was trying to understand is this fear. I asked the question several times but never received a straightforward answer. My question is, what legislation do you believe Donald Trump will pass that will change the fundamental nature of America ? My point being that " hate " crimes will remain hate crimes. I can not see any legislation being proposed that will oppress any minority groups. Is it the fear that current laws will be enforced ? No matter what vile things have been spewed by the president elect I can not see that " empowering " anyone. Hate exists and always will. All these groups existed long before Donald Trump came along and will no doubt exist long after he is gone.
 Now, I didn't vote for him or her. That is a personal choice. I could be justly angered by the results. I avoided that by staring the truth in the face and accepting that. My conscience would not allow me to promote what I considered evil in any way. A vote for either of them would have been just that in my opinion. So, I awoke to find Donald Trump has been chosen, by due process, and I will honor that decision. That is what being an American is all about. The rule of law. Sadly this election cycle was not about " issues " but about personalities. The bolder one, won the day. But, campaigning is nothing more than pre--game hype. How " qualified " anyone is to assume the most powerful office in the world can not be measured. The electorate has decided that Donald Trump will lead the nation in the direction they want it to go. I don't believe that Donald Trump and the Republican party have any agenda of oppression in mind. I do believe that a more " common sense " approach, a business approach has been chosen over the policy of government control. It is large government vs limited government. Is that the fear ? I don't think so. I'm still trying to understand.
 I did attempt to have a dialogue but that wasn't forthcoming. Much anger and hate was spewed. That came from both sides. Donald Trump did not instill anything into anybody. Those feelings or beliefs were already there. I do not believe, for a second, that Donald Trump and the majority party will do anything to legitimize any hate crimes. Yes, some will spew forth their venom in a celebratory fashion, but they are the fools. Yes, some will riot and they are also the fools. It would most likely had been the same had Hillary Clinton prevailed. There are those that will cause that unrest. I will say that until the law is enforced we will continue to see the growth of these behaviors. No accountability for actions will embolden those that wish to cause harm.
 We can not legislate according to our feelings. You do not understand my feelings. You are correct. I do not understand your feelings. But one can not govern based on feelings. Whose feelings take precedence ? Are your feelings any more valid than mine ? When we cast our ballot we hopefully vote for the candidate we " feel "  will be best for the nation. I hope that " feeling " is based on gathering all the available information you can. The feeling I had about the two majority candidates led me to vote for a third party candidate. I fully accept the decision of the people. I may not have a good feeling about it but that is not the point. I'm still waiting for an answer. Just what legislation has Donald Trump proposed that should cause personal fear for your safety ? Did I miss that ?

the last word

 There is no more discussion. The decision has been made. Time to move on. It is my hope that the wounds of battle can be healed and we all work together. Just as casting your vote was a civic duty, so too, the acceptance of the result. I understand it is easier to be gracious when you win. I also understand the disappointment of losing. The candidate I choose did not win. My candidate didn't get so much as an honorable mention. He is just a footnote in this election. I accept that. To protest the results of the election is to protest the Republic ! Are those folks rioting in the streets aware that they are protesting the government that gives them that right ? It is a sad day in America indeed. Colleges and Universities closed because the students are " grieving " the loss ? Their feelings are hurt ? Really and this is preparing them for real life ?
 Bottom line is the system worked as designed. The choice has been made. Be adults and accept the results. Win some, lose some. The electorate has spoken. I am ashamed that the world has to see our nation in this state. We look like some third world nation. Elections are held and rioting ensues in the streets. Where is the dignity in that ? Where is that " strength of character " that made us Americans ? Strong and independent we formed a nation. We fought for our freedom and achieved that. We formed a republic. We pledge our allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands. Now I see the flag lying in the streets and rioters wishing to destroy that  republic.
 My resolve has not wavered, my character remains intact. I still stand for America, and the anthem for that matter. Am I angry ? Yes ! I am angry that we are raising a generation that does not understand what the basis of freedom really is. That basis is independence, accountability and responsibility. Freedom is not mob rule ! I'm angry. Do not insult my nation. The system worked and that is the last word.

A new president

 What does it say about the American people when they are unwilling to publically support their candidate ? Isn't that what just happened ? I am surprised by the result. I did not support either of the major candidates and said so on more than one occasion. I am surprised by all the " professionals " that got it wrong. Could it be that the main stream media has grown so accustomed to influencing the people they couldn't see the writing on the wall ? I was convinced that Hillary would win in some fashion. My reason for doing so was a lack of faith in my fellow Americans. I really thought a large number would just fall in line. I congratulate America for not doing that. I question the wisdom of their choice but I honor that choice.
 As to why the people did not publically support Donald Trump I think the answer is a simple one. It is a private decision and should be. It really is none of your business. Many feared retaliation for displaying support for the " wrong " candidate. This election, as we all know, was a contest not on the issues, but on personality. It is like playing those games that have gained so much popularity in recent years, Survivor or Big Brother. Say one thing and do another. Or just don't say anything out loud. The object here is to win. Donald Trump won and that kinda proves my point. I hope that he can deliver.
 Don't despair however. We should keep in mind that the President does have to have the support of the Senate and the House in order to accomplish much. He is not running around with his finger on a nuclear button ! It could be that the business of government does require a businessman. Our early Presidents were all businessmen. Being the President was a side-line thing for them. So was Congress. It was those businessmen that created the " job security " that they all enjoy today. They have over the years given themselves many pay raises and benefits. One could say they have done so to the detriment of the business. The business is governing. To govern is to keep in check, under control. Will the new president of the company change the way business is done ? No, we do have the rule of law. Will the new president hold his employees accountable ? Let's hope so. That is how things are going to get done. Looks like the gravy train has been overtaken by the Trump train.
 The people have spoken. The votes have been counted and the results are in. Yeah we are all a little bit nervous. That's normal when you get a new boss.

Election day

 It's election day in America. I, along with the majority of the folks I know, are tired of the whole thing. This has undoubtedly been the most divisive campaign I have ever witnessed. Little of the issues were discussed but a whole lot of mudslinging. I can't help but feel our reputation on the international stage has been tarnished. One candidate being portrayed as nothing more than a crook and the other as a bigot. Is that what America has to offer ? It is a sad reflection upon our society. Can we take pride in whomever wins this contest ?
 I do believe the course has been set. There is no one person or party to blame. Whenever there is this much diversity obtaining unity becomes impossible. Concessions, must be made. Generally we call that assimilation. Assimilation has been branded as a bad thing. The agenda now is to have separate cultures, separate ethics and separate morality co-existing. I'm not certain that is even possible. Can you be something else and still be an American ? No, I would say you can not. The United States of America is a republic. Many do not comprehend the significance of that. That, I believe is why we are hearing the call for the abolition of the electoral college. In doing so we would effectively be transforming our government to a simple majority rule, a simple democracy. Mob rules. The electoral college serves a vital function, in fact several of them, in keeping the system balanced.
 I only mention the electoral college as an example of what I perceive as a change in the fabric of America. It is a transition from a republic to a democracy. There is a fundamental difference. Consider this: In a federal court trial the jury must always reach a unanimous decision. If we were to go to a simple majority only seven jurors need to agree. How could you justify otherwise ? That is mob rule at work. Each state sets its' own guidelines as to the requirement for unanimous decisions dependent upon whether it is a civil or criminal matter being dealt with. That is also a function of a republic. The centralization of power to a simple democratic state would be a great change indeed.
 The primary decision to be made today is whether to preserve the republic. Which candidate advocates for that action ? Do either of them ? A republic is a government that is the people and controlled by the people. A republic is not " responsive " to the people. That would imply the government is controlling the people. In a republic that is not the case. Well, not unless we allow it to do so. If two-thirds of the electorate decide to allow government to control the population, that is what we will get. So get out and vote. Vote for whatever you wish. That is the basis of a republic, the voice of the individual, not the mob.

silence

 I try to write something every day. It is usually just whatever is on my mind. Could be just about anything. I do employ a few filters, subjects I do not write about. There are issues that one should deal with privately. I know that isn't a popular response these days. No, now we should just blurt it all out. That is what is causing a lot of the strife we see in the world today, in my opinion. I do believe in " polite company " and have written about that. Social media should be treated as such. I may know your name, your family and even have attended school with you, but how well do I know you ? We were no more than young adults back then, at best. I don't know what opinions and beliefs you have adopted since then. You know very little about me as well. We should be cordial and polite. We are not, in many cases, and I'm as guilty as anyone else. I struggle with the urge to just state my opinion, sometimes in a negative fashion. Why ? Because I seek validation for my beliefs and opinions. That is the real reason and one I am aware of. Like an addict I sometimes just can't control myself. We laugh and joke about it but who among us does not want " likes " ? We are pleased when others approve of our postings with that emoji or a " like. "
 This writing of a blog has become a habit. I am aware when I do not post something. I'm not certain why it has become such. I do look to see how many page views I garner each day. I guess that is also validation. Is that an insecurity ? Could be, as I believe we all have that issue, to a degree. Some will replace that with material objects and wealth. Those things provide the " security " they require. I'd like to give that a try. For the rest of us, how do we seek security ? We may surround ourselves with our family and friends. We pray to our God. Sadly some will attempt to just medicate the anxieties of life. They may use prescription drugs to accomplish that or resort to self medicating. The use of drugs and alcohol can give you that false sense of security. Is that what the increased insistence of legalizing marijuana for recreational use is all about ? The perception being it is somehow, a better choice. What harm can it cause ? I could argue either way on that particular subject. Just because it is legal doesn't mean I have to use it. If it is legal the likelihood of trying it is greatly increased. But that will be decided by the vote. I'll leave it to that forum.
 I will continue with this self therapy. That is what this blog writing has become for me. I write out my thoughts and am forced to consider them before publication. I have " edited " them on occasion. I only do that when I change my mind. It may sound vain but it doesn't happen often. Others may view that as stubborn, I see it as committed. You should be willing to commit to your ideas. If you are not, think about that. I started writing this morning with nothing on my mind. Well that it isn't exactly true as I was thinking perhaps it is time for me to just listen, instead of speaking. I do listen by reading other blogs and such. I have noticed that the discussion doesn't appear to change much on social media pages. We speak of the weather, food and share pictures. Then there are the " hot " topics. The ones that raise the anxiety level. Those topics incite the negative comments. Seldom is anything resolved. 
 Max Ehrmann : " Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence " is the opening phrase in the Desiderata and wise words they are. I find it difficult to accomplish that task. It is even more difficult when we don't have to be in the " crowd " as we speak. Perhaps the advice should now be, scroll past the negative leaving no comments to mark your path and enjoy the pictures of puppies. There is peace in silence. Is that why there was no fanfare, no great exaltations on the night Jesus was born. It was a " Silent Night. "
 These thoughts just rattle around in my mind and I try to express them. They are not always connected. The trick is to make that connection. When you can connect all your thoughts you are at peace. It is an understanding. It is the same thing all the great scientists have been attempting to do. A grand " unified " theory. It would be made easier if we knew what we were trying to unify.  

Purpose

 It is not a popular opinion, of that I am aware, but an opinion I hold nonetheless. I believe each us has a role to play. That role was assigned at birth and it is our mission to complete that role. Yes, we are given free reign to complete the task in any way we choose. That is free choice as I understand it. Some of us will become convinced that we have discovered our purpose and others will never feel that way. There are two sides to every equation. Factors are also variable and may alter the results. I believe our roles are assigned, but the end result is not. If it where, what purpose would the " in-between " time serve ? If everything were predetermined there would be no reason for living. There would also be no reason for questioning. If you can't change the outcome, the why of it is irrelevant. It just is. I don't believe we just are. We all have a purpose.
 At various times and stages in life we all feel like we know our purpose. Or, more correctly, we pursue interests that we feel are beneficial to us. That is where things get a little tricky. We have to answer the question, are we here to please ourselves, or for the benefit of others ? Ethics and morality are the filters employed to check our behaviors. They are transient things, those ethical and moral behaviors, dependent upon the society in general. The constant is mans' desire to alter those parameters. That is the epic struggle we all face. Integrity is what others perceive about us gauged on our actions. The reality is that only we can measure our integrity. We are the sole proprietor of that knowledge. It is our integrity we seek to justify when we deviate from those moral and ethical behaviors imposed by the society. We convince ourselves that our actions are correct. Those actions become our purpose. Those actions may or may not be in line with accepted behaviors. That is also the reason for those artificial means of measuring success.
 First and foremost on that list is wealth. If you are wealthy, you are successful. Isn't that the perception ? Even when that person is viewed as evil they are considered successful. The ability to accumulate wealth is the standard. Many will complain about the method used to obtain that wealth or call for a more equitable disbursement of those monies, but the person responsible is still a success. Popularity is also a measure of success. If you are well liked and respected in the community, you are a success. Not as successful as the rich man, but a success nonetheless. Is that there purpose in life ? Have they fulfilled that ? How can we know ?
 I say we don't need to know. We should be concerned with our own purpose. But how can we know what to do to if we don't what the purpose is ? It does sound like a paradox but I feel the answer is simple. If you act within the bounds of your own integrity you will find success. We instinctively know what is right and wrong. We know the " golden rule. "  How closely we follow that rule is a measure of our integrity. I would say it is the standard. And the true measure of success should be happiness. If you are happy you are a success. Do not confuse happiness with gratification, they are separate things. Gratification is concerned with the satisfaction of desire and is temporary. Happiness is a peaceful soul, or countenance for non-believer.
 I started by talking about what our role in life may be. I do believe we all have one. I also believe there are many paths to fulfilling that purpose and knowing what it is isn't necessary. I don't know why I am here or what my purpose is, was or might be. I don't think when you fulfill your purpose you just die. That just seems a little melodramatic to me. Why shouldn't my God allow me to enjoy my success ? So, I'm thinking the best we can do is follow the " rule " and keep trying. I do think I have spent a great deal of time just observing. At this point in my life I have taken to chronicling those observations. To what purpose ? That is a valid question, but I would answer with, is purpose necessary ? Should we only do those things that serve a purpose ? Generally speaking man has always sought to please the " gods ."  How best can I accomplish that ? That is the great question mankind has struggled with since time immemorial. Purpose, is it necessary ? Yes, I think it is.

stored emotion

 When I first began this blog I called it Random Thoughts and Memories because I figured that is what I would write about. As it turns out it is more random thoughts than memories. The reason for that is a simple one. The memories I had in mind were those memories from my childhood. Subtracting the years I don't remember, say four, that doesn't leave a very long period of time. You could say it was fourteen years. When you factor in that not every day is a memory the number is reduced considerably. That is why stories get repeated so often, you run out. It is something I have become increasingly aware of these last few years. Just how memorable was your childhood ?
 We all have our little tales of adventure and mischief. We all have our moments of triumph and times we would rather forget. Those are our memories. I have already shared the majority of those with my readers. I do think it is the same basic group of folks reading these blogs, with an occasional stranger stumbling upon them. In my vanity I think they remember what was written and so try not to repeat. And so as a result I am running low on memories. What I never run out of is " feelings. " Memories are more feelings than anything else. The object of sharing a memory is to get the reader or listener to experience the same feeling you had that made that memory. That is the " hallmark " experience. A hallmark is, of course, the best. It has been tested and quality ensured. Isn't that what hallmark cards and greetings are all about ? The hallmark channel is filled with those movies that are designed to evoke those emotions.
 I have also discovered if you have to explain the emotion, it doesn't work. That is because emotions must be felt and are not a cognitive effort. I have also come to realize that my childhood wasn't all that memorable. In the grand scheme of things that isn't a bad thing. Things went along fairly smoothly and without much drama. I shared common experiences with my siblings and my classmates. There are little incidences I recall and that bring a smile to my face. When you see a grin on someone's face when they are alone you know that is what is happening. The look of sorrow may also appear. That is memory at work, reliving the emotion. Many of those moments can only be shared with the person you made them with. Only they will understand the true meaning.
 Our childhood is a world of perceptions. We see what others are doing and attempt to emulate them. Some of us will grasp onto a perception and never let that escape us. We will become the quintessential embodiment of that perception. Others will never perceive their " place " in the world and remain wondering. I would say I am the later. I claim no occupation that defines me, no perception that I choose to emulate. I have, for the most part, been busy being me. The only problem there is, knowing who I am. But that is another discussion for another day.
 My advice for today's world is, dial it back a little. We are straining to see beyond the perception. That action must come in a natural way, it can not be forced. In finding the answers you must first understand the question. Each of us will form our own picture in due time. Some paint that picture early and strive to " color " it in. Others are satisfied with a brief sketch, a working drawing if you want to think of it that way. In the end we are left with memories and emotions. The quantity of each is not so important as the quality. As for me I haven't come up with the final draft just yet, but I'm working on it.

in left field

 You have heard the expression " out of left field " and know exactly what that means. Well, it happened to me just last evening. As I getting ready to go to bed I did one last check in on Facebook. I saw I had a notification and went to read that comment. There it was, right out of left field, a scolding for posting "good morning." I was informed of the intent the forming of a specific group, a group I have been a member of since its' inception. Now, I do not claim ownership of this group but apparently this other person does. I will not mention the name as it is unimportant to the story. The point is I was hit with that statement out of left field. My immediate reaction was to reread it to determine if that is what was indeed written. Yes, it was. My next action was a review of the entire post to see if I had missed some interaction somewhere that would precipitate such an event. No there was nothing. And then I wondered, what is the problem  ? I was bewildered and yes, a little angry at having been chastised for what I perceive to be an amicable expression of good cheer. I wrote a response and went to bed.
 I got up and went through my normal routine. I check my e-mail, go to Facebook and say hello and issue birthday greetings as appropriate. The next thing is to post a blog. I almost always write these postings in the morning but will admit that I have written others the evening before. I sat here thinking about what to write and this incident was on my mind. I did receive a response, a very cordial one I might add, and responded to that. I trust the matter has been cleared up. I am still wondering what caused that person to write such. Why would someone be so negative ? It was mentioned that this individual never opened anything I post for fear of malware or some such stuff. I can understand that. I wonder if having to open that " attachment " is what caused this anxiety, fear or anger in this person. Was it threatening in some fashion ? Still, once a day shouldn't be such a threat. I offer no enticements to do such either. I simply post it for others enjoyment or comment. Is it seen as " secretive " in this persons eyes ? I simply can't figure it out.
 This was truly an " out of left field " thing. Was it just a " random " thought ? I write those down, almost every day, but they may be a memory as well. I usually discover the source of my random thoughts during the writing process. I have found very few are, out of left field, but instead inspired by events. I can only surmise that is what happened. I posted Good Morning, many folks responded and that triggered the response. The " purpose " of the group had been violated in this persons eyes ! Perhaps I have lost the mission statement of the group. The groups purpose, as I saw it, was to connect with each other. I start that process with a hello. Well, no matter all is well. No harm, no foul as they say. Gave me something to write about anyway.
 Yes, this could be viewed as self serving and to a degree it is. It is a method to smooth ruffled feathers. I am quite aware of that. But, that is what friends are for, to listen to your complaints, troubles and share in your victories. I am pleased to have so many read my words and share their time with my thoughts. Thank You very much.

an opinion on opinion

 I will write about another topic that really amounts to nothing more than an opinion. I am like everyone else in that regard, I've got an opinion. I like to think I have the correct opinion but is that possible ? An opinion is a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. So, yes in my opinion my opinion is correct. Yours may differ. That of course is your opinion. I can disagree with your opinion but shouldn't tell you that it is wrong. I can only state facts that may contradict your conclusions. Knowledge may also alter the judgement you formed, if that judgement is based upon facts. But what abut those things that are not based in fact ? How do we form an opinion on those ? We use our moral judgement, that's how. Our opinions then reflect our morality. Our morality indicates what ? The type of person we are. Politics and religion go hand in hand when forming who we are. Yes, it is possible for contradictions to exist but that is a failure of the individual. In America we call that separation of church and state. We attempt to write our laws based on fact, not opinion. The problem is and will continue to be, legislating what falls into the moral realm. And the biggest irony of all in the American form of government, is the final test is based upon an opinion. That is what the supreme court issues, an opinion !
 Now the topic that inspired this blog was a little story on the news. A gentleman purchased a BMW back in 1998 and obtained some vanity plates for it. The plates, in Spanish, have a single word on them. This word when translated refers to human excrement. Yes, it says s**t. The motor vehicle department has recently discovered that and wants the plates back. A ruling was made but the guy filed an appeal. This guy is also a lawyer so the legal fees do not bother him I guess. His position is he is defending the right to free speech. He claims you have the right to put anything on those plates that you want. His opinion. Now I disagree. I do not think you have a right to that. You must purchase government issued plates to be in compliance with the law. In doing so I believe they have the right to restrict what is written upon them. Vanity plates are issued solely for the purpose of increasing revenue. Vanity plates are not a requirement. Should the government decide, based upon the requested content, to refuse that extra revenue, that is the prerogative of the government. If having that word, or any other is that important to you, you are free to print it upon your personal property. Those government issued plates are not your personal property rather they belong to the state. To me, that is just fact. Now my opinion is this, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. This gentleman, for whatever reason, has chosen to display a word that is in poor taste for the public domain. I expect he thinks it is funny. Perhaps to some it is humorous although in my opinion if it were on a YUGO it would be funnier. Seriously though I just do not think he has right to stipulate what is written upon those government issued plates. I do not see that as an infringement upon free speech, nor is it censorship. He can make a request but that is all.
 And that is all I'm writing about this morning. Opinion. I'm of the opinion that sometimes you just have to take no for an answer. Save the fight for something worth while. It really isn't about what you want all the time. There are times when we must accept things for the common good. That is, of course, a matter of opinion isn't it ? The question here is, is the state attempting to impose a moral judgement upon the citizenry ? That is, after all what the basis for denial would be. Strange how many wish to punish those that offend, but at the same time advocate for the right to offend. Isn't that what this case is all about. The state saying that word may offend people and he saying he has that right. It is all a matter of opinion. He says he will take it to the supreme court if necessary. Then, we'll get their opinion.
 The first amendment : Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Does Congress make the laws regulating license plates ? I don't think so. So does the first amendment even apply here ? Not being a lawyer it seems like the answer would be no. This case would fall to the highest court in the state making such laws. But is it even a law ? No, I think it would be a regulation. Then it is subject only to the regulating authority. So, it is not a Federal case. To that attorney I would say, case dismissed. You may request a different set of vanity plates, subject to approval by the regulating authority, or accept the ones issued by the state. Your choice, it is a free land.