My Mom came from a family of ten children. She had six sisters and three brothers. The majority of them lived in the same town as we did. I went to school with a lot of my cousins. I'm talking first cousins. I knew few of them. I never gave it much thought until I started doing the family tree. Now I look and am amazed to see, strangers in my tree. They are strangers to me, yet their place in the tree is undeniable. I can't help but wonder how this could be. Why did we not at least talk with one another ? The how and why of our parents relationships with their siblings is a foreign subject. Mom hung out with some sisters, and some she did not. The two she spent the most time with had no children. Was that a conscience decision on her part ? I don't know, but I doubt it. I think they just lived the closest to us. Neither of them babysat for us, so it wasn't that. The only babysitter I recall was Great Grandfather, once. To say Mom and Dad didn't go out much is an understatement. But, back to these strangers. Growing up I heard their names, sometimes. Usually I heard about them when they did something wrong. Then they would be held up as an example. Do you want to wind up like your cousin ? You see what trouble he is in ? You're headed down the same road ! Funny I never heard about the good things they did. I'm sure they did positive things as well.
And so here it is, all these years later and I still don't know them. I wonder about them and their lives. Where are they and how many children do they have. Would they like to meet me. And if we did meet what would we talk about ? I think the conversation wouldn't last too long. A few stories about our parents perhaps. A few stories our parents may have told us. Eventually the stories we were told about each other. Beyond that it wouldn't be much different than talking to anyone else that grew up in my town and went to my school. Strangers to each other. Yes, a stranger with a blood connection.
Back in the 1960's we were all a bit more isolated. Even in a small town like mine, that was true. Phone calls were not as readily placed as they are today. There were no answering machines or texting. As a result we were a bit disconnected. Contact with each other was either accidental, I run into you on the street, or an effort was made to contact you. Now we run into each other on Facebook or maybe catch a tweet of yours. I'm thinking had these avenues been open back then I would have been more connected with my cousins. I do think we are a bit more social today. This social environment does come with problems of its' own. That is a discussion for another time. I can say this for sure. I have spoken to more of my cousins online than I ever did in person. Surprising when you think I grew up and went to school with a majority of them. I'm grateful for that because now those I have contacted are less of a stranger to me. It's a beginning. I believe it is a good thing. Family is family. An old concept ? Maybe, but a valid one. I would like to know my family. The core value of family is what you can contribute to it, not what family can give to you. I would share my collective experiences and memories. Things are not always as they seem or as presented to us. It can be a little scary at first. I welcome the discussion. After all, we are family.
And so here it is, all these years later and I still don't know them. I wonder about them and their lives. Where are they and how many children do they have. Would they like to meet me. And if we did meet what would we talk about ? I think the conversation wouldn't last too long. A few stories about our parents perhaps. A few stories our parents may have told us. Eventually the stories we were told about each other. Beyond that it wouldn't be much different than talking to anyone else that grew up in my town and went to my school. Strangers to each other. Yes, a stranger with a blood connection.
Back in the 1960's we were all a bit more isolated. Even in a small town like mine, that was true. Phone calls were not as readily placed as they are today. There were no answering machines or texting. As a result we were a bit disconnected. Contact with each other was either accidental, I run into you on the street, or an effort was made to contact you. Now we run into each other on Facebook or maybe catch a tweet of yours. I'm thinking had these avenues been open back then I would have been more connected with my cousins. I do think we are a bit more social today. This social environment does come with problems of its' own. That is a discussion for another time. I can say this for sure. I have spoken to more of my cousins online than I ever did in person. Surprising when you think I grew up and went to school with a majority of them. I'm grateful for that because now those I have contacted are less of a stranger to me. It's a beginning. I believe it is a good thing. Family is family. An old concept ? Maybe, but a valid one. I would like to know my family. The core value of family is what you can contribute to it, not what family can give to you. I would share my collective experiences and memories. Things are not always as they seem or as presented to us. It can be a little scary at first. I welcome the discussion. After all, we are family.
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