Which Path

I completed a twenty year career in the U.S.Navy. I was stationed in all four corners of this great country of ours. I have sailed the seven seas, as the saying goes. I visited many foreign countries and Island nations. During a good part of this time I would long for home. I would think and dream about being a civilian. Settled in one place,raising my family and belonging to the community. All the things I could do if that were so. I could grow my hair any length I felt comfortable with. I could take vacation any time I felt like it. I could get up at any hour of the morning I wanted too. I wouldn't have anyone telling me what to do ! Yes those civilians have got it easy. That's what I used to think. You're probably wondering ,why then, did you stay ? The answer to that is simple. Made good economic sense. Keeping an eye on the future.

Now I have been retired from the Navy almost twenty years. Sometimes I find myself longing to go to sea again. With the passing of time we tend to forget about past hardships and recall only the good times. That is a gift from God. A reward for living. I have learned over this time that I still have to get up in the morning. I can't go on vacation whenever I feel like it. And I still have someone telling me what to do ! I call that someone ,wife ! LOL  This civilian stuff is a pretty rough row to hoe. I had some carefree days back in the day. Sure I could grow my hair long but I won't. Kinda used to it the way it is. 

It is just another life cycle I suppose. When we are children we want to be grown ups. When we reach adulthood we find ourselves missing those carefree childhood days. We often find ourselves looking back and wishing for those times again. Looking forward we usually envision better days. The reality is not as promising. Looking too far ahead can cause depression. It is best to look back. 

I am not at a point where I am looking forward to retirement altogether. Contrary to popular belief you can not live off a military retirement. It does make an excellent supplement. When that day comes however I'm sure I will welcome it. For a little while anyway. Then I'll start to look back. I expect there will be days when I'll be wishing for a return to the workforce. Eventually we all reach that " final retirement. " Will we be able to look back from that ? An interesting question don't you think ? If you believe in Ghosts are they trying to get a do over ? To relive some of the past. The path we choose is our own. The destination is not known to us. If you believe God has a plan for you then the path taken doesn't matter. You will reach the preordained destination. As for me, I'm still pondering that question. The existence of God I do not doubt. Whether or not the destination is preordained I haven't decided upon.

In a practical sense if God has preordained my fate does the path I take make any difference ? Therein lies the enigma.