I'll never write a book on this subject but have been known to offer advice on it. I have been known to expound upon others lack of skill in this area. I can be quick to point out what I feel is the correct method. It is a topic of hot debate among generations. It has been discussed and analyzed since the beginning of time. I thought I would offer, as a public service, my take on the subject. And what is this subject ? Child Rearing ! That's right the raising of children.
I can break it down for you in four easy steps. Fear, Respect, Risk and Reward. It is that simple. Everything else a child needs will come from that formula. Allow me to explain.
First a child should be " just that much afraid " of the parent. Not a paralyzing fear nor a menacing fear, more of an uncertain kind of fear. I hear the threats and he/she just might follow through on that threat. Old people will embarrass you in public without hesitation. Parents can be stubborn. Here's an example. Say I am considering doing something I know to be wrong. I consider it but "that fear" creeps in. I don't want to find out if Dad's size nine foot will really fit where he says he will put it. That is a good fear.
Respect will come out of the fear. Fear is a reaction to the unknown. Respect comes from knowing how someone will respond to certain actions. If you are consistent, respect follows. How often have you heard someone say, " I don't agree, but I respect that "? Works the other way too. Remember you have the power. Power can breed fear or foster respect. It all depends on how that power is used.
Let me explain about risk and reward. Think back to the analogy of " that fear " of where Dad may or may not place his size nine foot. I could have chosen to do the wrong thing but the risk was great. The reward for that action would not be a pleasant one. Not worth the risk.
You see you only have to place " that fear " ,doubt or uncertainty in a child's mind when they are very young to help guide them to the proper choices. Be consistent. The risk and reward system must never change. Forcing them to weigh whether the risk is actually going to be worth the reward.
Quite simple really. So DR. Phil what do you have to say about that !
I can break it down for you in four easy steps. Fear, Respect, Risk and Reward. It is that simple. Everything else a child needs will come from that formula. Allow me to explain.
First a child should be " just that much afraid " of the parent. Not a paralyzing fear nor a menacing fear, more of an uncertain kind of fear. I hear the threats and he/she just might follow through on that threat. Old people will embarrass you in public without hesitation. Parents can be stubborn. Here's an example. Say I am considering doing something I know to be wrong. I consider it but "that fear" creeps in. I don't want to find out if Dad's size nine foot will really fit where he says he will put it. That is a good fear.
Respect will come out of the fear. Fear is a reaction to the unknown. Respect comes from knowing how someone will respond to certain actions. If you are consistent, respect follows. How often have you heard someone say, " I don't agree, but I respect that "? Works the other way too. Remember you have the power. Power can breed fear or foster respect. It all depends on how that power is used.
Let me explain about risk and reward. Think back to the analogy of " that fear " of where Dad may or may not place his size nine foot. I could have chosen to do the wrong thing but the risk was great. The reward for that action would not be a pleasant one. Not worth the risk.
You see you only have to place " that fear " ,doubt or uncertainty in a child's mind when they are very young to help guide them to the proper choices. Be consistent. The risk and reward system must never change. Forcing them to weigh whether the risk is actually going to be worth the reward.
Quite simple really. So DR. Phil what do you have to say about that !
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