Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Adult conversation

I must be getting a few years on me now.I have become comfortable talking about most anything. That is a sign of age,not necessarily maturity. I also seem to have developed a few quirks. I won't go into those however. I am also not surprised by the things my fellow " senior " citizens may say to me. I can only assume they feel as though I am there contemporaries. I appreciate the sentiment,in most cases, but I'm not quite in their category yet ! A case in point, yesterday an elderly lady asks me if we sell prunes. I assure her we do and show her where to find them. On our short walk to the proper aisle she explains that her husband is having problems with his bowels. Their daughter recommends prunes. The thing is, not only does she feel comfortable with this conversation, it doesn't bother me either. I tell her my uncle George uses prune juice for the same reason. See what I mean ?
Working mostly with a younger crowd these differences sometimes are highlighted. I will say this much, the younger crowd are far more free speaking with their elders than I was at their age. A sign of the times I suppose. I was stocking the shelves the other day and had sat a box down on my way to the shelf. I was called away for a moment. When I returned the box was gone. I stood there,staring for just a moment. A co-worker than says to me, Mr. Ben I put that box away. My reply, don't do that to an old guy, I couldn't remember if I sat it down or not ! Sometimes I think those kids are messin' with me. These little incidents happen all the time. Occasionally, not very often, a younger guy will offer to lift something for me. I'm still young enough that I say ,no thanks, I got it. Young enough or foolish enough, that is up for debate.
There are employees that I rarely see. They work a few hours a night and on the weekends. Now this has nothing to do with age but I have always been this way. If I do not see you often and speak with you, I probably will not remember you. I could be standing next to the most famous person in the world and probably not recognize them. I would be the worst eye witness imaginable. So yesterday, while I'm working, this young lady walks by and says, Hello. I smile back and say Hi. There is an awkward moment and she moves on. I turn to another co-worker and say, should I know her ? I am told she works here. Who knew ? Then this co-worker, the one I'm talking to says, you answered her. I tell her,yes, I answered her. Anytime a pretty lady speaks to me I answer, I figure it must be my rugged good looks that attract'em ! That drew a laugh. You can say stuff like that at my age.
And it isn't just at work either. Just yesterday I was sitting on the couch at home and said to my wife, I'm feeling a little funny. I feel a little warm. And then, just like that, she says, it's probably just hot flashes, deal with it ! Where's the empathy, the compassion. Turns out all I needed to do was take off my sweatshirt. Geez.
I was raised in a time when children were seen and not heard. I was not privy to adult conversations. Adults always talked down to you in a condescending way. That wasn't their intent, but that is how it always seemed to me. Patronizing is the word for that. As I grew older I was included. I haven't given it much thought in many years. I did wonder just what it was those adults were talking about that us kids was not supposed to hear. When I got older I figured I knew. The truth is it isn't what I thought at all. Turns out old people talk the most about bodily functions, or the lack thereof, and the younger people. That is why we were not supposed to hear. They were talking about us ! That is when they weren't comparing bowel functions or age spots.
It is a sobering realization. I have reached the age where I am included in the adult conversations. Now, the younger ones remain silent around me. These same youngsters attempt conversation with me when the mood strikes them. I hope I don't sound condescending. The most surprising thing about all of this is, the conversations aren't all that much fun. The adult ones I mean. I mean I really don't want to hear about your husbands bowel functions. It is a burden I have to bear at this age. Sometimes I feel like saying, that's just wack ! I'm cool like that. 

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