Honey, where did you put the guide ? It is right there, beside the chair. No it isn't ! And she walks into the room, goes beside the chair, and picks it up.
I swear it wasn't there one second ago. I couldn't see it, I have man vision.
Man Vision is the inability to see objects that are not in the place they are expected to be.
Usually caused by a woman moving them. It is never, I repeat, never the fault of the man, yet he will be blamed.
Man vision is the reason men can go into a store,buy only the item they went there for and leave. They do not see the sale signs or other advertising enticements. They expect to see the item in it's proper place,pick it up and leave.
There are exceptions of course, everything has exceptions.
If it involves sports,cars,tools or women man vision syndrome does not apply. Men can always see any of those objects clearly. Some men even have an advanced form of Man Vision to be used in those situations.
The ability to scrutinize those objects in the smallest detail without appearing to be looking at the object at all.
Especially useful when looking at other women. Or so I've been told. I wouldn't know about that.
The reason this occurs is because women have a natural tendency to place objects in unlikely places.
Like putting your socks in the sock drawer or shirts on hangers in the closet.
Men on the other hand just leave an object where they last used it. That way we have only to remember where we used it last and presto,we can find it. That is unless a woman has moved it. It only needs to be moved the smallest distance and it disappears. It starts early in a mans life, my mother used to move my stuff all the time. I was constantly asking, Mom where did you put my toy ?
I had already looked everywhere, but she would find it every time.Now my wife does the same thing. I'm thinking it is some secret cloaking power women must possess.Probably related to their ability to remember every little detail about your relationship. Like the date you were married and stuff ! It's not natural !
It is some kind of sick game women play with men. Hide the objects and laugh when we can't find them. Then uncloak them,yell at us and make us feel like we now owe them. It's a plot.
You see, men have organized minds. We file things like location of objects depending upon usage requirements. If we may need that object in the near future,say a week or two, we just leave it where it is. No problem in locating it when we need it. Leaving objects in plain sight aids in locating the item as well. That's why men are the hunters. We don't get lost because we remember location. Also the reason men don't need maps or the GPS system. If a woman comes along and moves the mountain however,well that's a problem. Men are gatherers too. We go from location to location and gather up whatever we need. That's why we leave things spread out around the house,office ,garage or wherever. It is part of the organization process.
I'll bet bachelors don't have that problem. I've been to a few friends of mine houses and let me tell you they were super organized. Everything right out there in plain sight. Very little tucked away in hiding spots. Why I could have found anything he asked for. No secret cloaking abilities going on in that bachelor pad. On the downside though things that disappear in their places never reappear. They are just gone forever. I have no explanation for that. Maybe some female cloaking spill over from the neighbors or something ?
Man Vision, the inability to see anything that is not where it is expected to be. Not my fault !
I swear it wasn't there one second ago. I couldn't see it, I have man vision.
Man Vision is the inability to see objects that are not in the place they are expected to be.
Usually caused by a woman moving them. It is never, I repeat, never the fault of the man, yet he will be blamed.
Man vision is the reason men can go into a store,buy only the item they went there for and leave. They do not see the sale signs or other advertising enticements. They expect to see the item in it's proper place,pick it up and leave.
There are exceptions of course, everything has exceptions.
If it involves sports,cars,tools or women man vision syndrome does not apply. Men can always see any of those objects clearly. Some men even have an advanced form of Man Vision to be used in those situations.
The ability to scrutinize those objects in the smallest detail without appearing to be looking at the object at all.
Especially useful when looking at other women. Or so I've been told. I wouldn't know about that.
The reason this occurs is because women have a natural tendency to place objects in unlikely places.
Like putting your socks in the sock drawer or shirts on hangers in the closet.
Men on the other hand just leave an object where they last used it. That way we have only to remember where we used it last and presto,we can find it. That is unless a woman has moved it. It only needs to be moved the smallest distance and it disappears. It starts early in a mans life, my mother used to move my stuff all the time. I was constantly asking, Mom where did you put my toy ?
I had already looked everywhere, but she would find it every time.Now my wife does the same thing. I'm thinking it is some secret cloaking power women must possess.Probably related to their ability to remember every little detail about your relationship. Like the date you were married and stuff ! It's not natural !
It is some kind of sick game women play with men. Hide the objects and laugh when we can't find them. Then uncloak them,yell at us and make us feel like we now owe them. It's a plot.
You see, men have organized minds. We file things like location of objects depending upon usage requirements. If we may need that object in the near future,say a week or two, we just leave it where it is. No problem in locating it when we need it. Leaving objects in plain sight aids in locating the item as well. That's why men are the hunters. We don't get lost because we remember location. Also the reason men don't need maps or the GPS system. If a woman comes along and moves the mountain however,well that's a problem. Men are gatherers too. We go from location to location and gather up whatever we need. That's why we leave things spread out around the house,office ,garage or wherever. It is part of the organization process.
I'll bet bachelors don't have that problem. I've been to a few friends of mine houses and let me tell you they were super organized. Everything right out there in plain sight. Very little tucked away in hiding spots. Why I could have found anything he asked for. No secret cloaking abilities going on in that bachelor pad. On the downside though things that disappear in their places never reappear. They are just gone forever. I have no explanation for that. Maybe some female cloaking spill over from the neighbors or something ?
Man Vision, the inability to see anything that is not where it is expected to be. Not my fault !
Got a great chuckle out of this. It's quite true... and in this house, there is a polterguiest that moves things, never to be found again! There is also one wonderful husband who 'organizes' by putting important papers in weird spots, like in some out of the way box in the garage,or shed, or a plastic rubbermaid box and then doesn't know which of the files it might be in. I have suggested that it might better be found if we stored it away in the file cabinet, but in vain. I've learned now to make photo copies..keep the originals (in the file cabinet) and if he NEEDS an original to swoop in and steal it from him the moment he returns home with it!
ReplyDelete