Tuesday, December 15, 2015

single digits

It's down to single digits. Nine days till Christmas. Are you anxious for it to arrive, or anxious for it to pass. I'm anxious for it to arrive. It hasn't always been that way in years past and you never know what the next year will bring. Last year on the nineteenth of December I lost my brother. Now that event certainly effected my holiday spirit. The shock of his loss is over but his memory will remain forever. His passing will always precede Christmas in my calendar. I believe we each have an internal calendar of events, something like holidays, that mark our years. Certain things remembered. These events may hold no significance to others and so go unnoticed by them, but you know. They are " Hallmark " moments to you but no one makes a card. The majority of these events seem to be in the month of August for me. Lots of beginnings and endings in August. It is those events that make the biggest impression upon us. Beginnings and endings. We celebrate our birthdays. There is no celebration for the end however, or is there ? That is a question best answered by hope. Faith and hope are intermarried with that idea. Me, I intend to celebrate. After all, it will also be a beginning.
 I'm anxious for Christmas this year. I really can't explain why that is. The year has been a good one and I guess I would like to finish it up that way. The grandkids are older, of course, and the excitement level is a bit lower than in years past. It is a process I have watched over the years, this growing up the kids do. Funny how you don't notice it as much when the kids are yours. Grandchildren just seem to grow faster. Probably has something to do with time going faster. Another theory of relativity ! But don't get me started on relatives . LOL
 The gifts have been purchased and the wrapping begun. The tree is up and the decorations hung. This year I became more keenly aware of my " traditional " decorations. I refer to those ornaments and decorations that belonged to my ancestors and the ancestors of my wife. This year I took special delight in those objects. I suppose that is another sign of aging. We begin to thin things out. We learn an appreciation for the past. With that appreciation understanding develops. An understanding of what is important. Christmas marks a beginning. Sure the calendar doesn't reflect that but that was decided by man, Pope Gregory in fact. He had the calendar corrected in 1582. That was based upon the solar system and the length of time it takes the earth to rotate around the sun. My calendar is not based so much on that but on my personal milestones. That is a calendar internal to us all. Christmas, marking the birth of Jesus, would have to be day one for anyone believing in that miracle. Certainly the most important event of the year, of any year for that matter. It has been that way for two thousand and fifteen years !
 Yes this year I am anxious for the big day to arrive. I feel a little bit of excitement of past years. Something of the excitement of a child. I'm not excited for what I may receive materially, I have grown past that, but excited to share. I have gifts to give and look forward to seeing the reception. Have I chosen wisely ? I have come to understand it truly is not the cost of the gift but the thought that went into it. Yes, I still ask the grandkids for a list but it is only a guide. I try to find something special for everyone, something they haven't thought of. It is my experience the best gifts are the ones you didn't know you wanted ! Unexpected blessings are always the best. In a way that is how faith works as well. A beginning, a present, and a surprise. The miracle that is Christmas. I can't wait.

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