I try to write about the things on my mind. This morning is an especially difficult topic to broach. It is personal. I have found it therapeutic to write my thoughts down and on occasion gain a little insight to my own feelings. Today I am thinking about family dynamics. The interaction between brothers, sisters and parents. This dynamic changes over the years. In my case we have all certainly reached " maturity ", at least that is the word thrown about but I disagree with that assessment. There are some ( one ) that I believe has not " matured " at all. And now it is one of those times where I can not be sure if I should interject myself in the conversation. I hesitate to act or even offer an opinion when I feel it will have little or no value. That is to say, help the situation in any way.
I do believe you should not react to emotions. Emotions are motivators, that can't be denied but emotions need to be controlled. Unbound energy can be harmful. It is also prudent to remember the central issue in any situation. In this situation I must keep focused on the fact, it is not about me. So, I need to set aside those emotions. Doing so I am then left with the question, can I decide what is best for another ? Do I have any business giving unsolicited advice ? I'm leaning toward the conclusion I do not.
It is this removal of bias that is the real difficulty I am facing this morning. Can we really remove that bias ? I'm thinking it is arrogant of me to think that I can. I find myself rationalizing instead of examining. I can explain why I think the way I do but can I criticize it ? Critical thinking they call it. I think we all rush to the defense of those we love. It is a natural reaction. But what happens when the conflict is between those same people ? The determination of right and wrong is entirely subjective in certain situations and this is one of those. I see no benefit in adding fuel to the fire. Doing so may also cause myself to be burned. Is that the reason I hesitate ? Prudence or cowardice ? Cowardice may be a strong word to use, perhaps self preservation is closer to the truth. I'm thinking I do not wish to sacrifice myself for no result. Is that selfish ? Love should be unconditional, should sacrifice be as well ? No, I don't believe that. Sacrifice is something done with an expectation of return. I'll give this for that. Love has no expectations, at least not genuine love. That is why it is unconditional !
Is all that I have written rationalization for inaction ? It reads that way. I have not convinced myself and therefore should not expect anyone else to be convinced. I have no more answers now than when I began this discussion. A big question remains, what do I have to lose in all of this ? I refer back to a previous thought, it is not about me. Is that the truth ? I am part of this family, a part of that dynamic. I am perplexed.
I do believe you should not react to emotions. Emotions are motivators, that can't be denied but emotions need to be controlled. Unbound energy can be harmful. It is also prudent to remember the central issue in any situation. In this situation I must keep focused on the fact, it is not about me. So, I need to set aside those emotions. Doing so I am then left with the question, can I decide what is best for another ? Do I have any business giving unsolicited advice ? I'm leaning toward the conclusion I do not.
It is this removal of bias that is the real difficulty I am facing this morning. Can we really remove that bias ? I'm thinking it is arrogant of me to think that I can. I find myself rationalizing instead of examining. I can explain why I think the way I do but can I criticize it ? Critical thinking they call it. I think we all rush to the defense of those we love. It is a natural reaction. But what happens when the conflict is between those same people ? The determination of right and wrong is entirely subjective in certain situations and this is one of those. I see no benefit in adding fuel to the fire. Doing so may also cause myself to be burned. Is that the reason I hesitate ? Prudence or cowardice ? Cowardice may be a strong word to use, perhaps self preservation is closer to the truth. I'm thinking I do not wish to sacrifice myself for no result. Is that selfish ? Love should be unconditional, should sacrifice be as well ? No, I don't believe that. Sacrifice is something done with an expectation of return. I'll give this for that. Love has no expectations, at least not genuine love. That is why it is unconditional !
Is all that I have written rationalization for inaction ? It reads that way. I have not convinced myself and therefore should not expect anyone else to be convinced. I have no more answers now than when I began this discussion. A big question remains, what do I have to lose in all of this ? I refer back to a previous thought, it is not about me. Is that the truth ? I am part of this family, a part of that dynamic. I am perplexed.
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