Family ties and family lies, there are secrets left untold. I believe this is a fair assessment in any family or group. Our parents called them skeletons in the closet. They can come back to haunt but mostly just cause surprise. Whether they are a good thing or bad depends upon the situation. Some wish to never have known while others seek them out. I fall into the later group, I want to know. How can I understand without knowing all the facts. Bad data leads to bad results.
I have stumbled across a few of these skeletons over the years. The records don't lie. You can see things in black and white that can no longer be denied. Some of these things are shocking, some disappointing. All are in the past. You just can't be sure what you'll see when the light once again shines. Yes, there in the dust and cobwebs there are pieces to the puzzle and those pieces may change the picture. We often have all the pieces to the edge, the ones with at least one straight side, it is the middle pieces that we need to locate.
It is fascinating to me how the story is told by others. Other family members, both before and after you, hold different pieces. There are immediate family members and then more distant ones. The story may be told markedly different by both groups. Some will withhold vital information while others fabricate pieces to fill the gaps. Still others may just " trim " the piece a bit to make it fit better. It is the gathering of all the pieces that occupies those of us who seek to understand, those of us that want to know, It is a journey that comes with some trepidation. Icarus was warned about flying too close to the sun. He ignored that advice and plunged into the sea. We run that same risk, metaphorically, by looking too closely into the past. Our spirits may be dashed. Still, I just can't help but want to know.
Now I do not believe it is possible to get a full and accurate accounting. We can not know the mind of others and their reasoning for their actions. We can however, get an accounting of the results of their actions, and that is what is of interest to me. I do not wish to hold anyone accountable for past actions, that isn't possible. I just want to know what happened. I want to know the story as accurately as possible. Motivations should be left to speculation. It is this speculation that may cause the most angst. That is my reason for trying to avoid that aspect and just record the facts. Keeping the two separated is the task at hand. Speculation, fabrication and outright lies muddy the waters considerably. That is especially true when we feel we have navigated the waters before. We think we know but there are obstacles unseen, hazards to navigation.
I do find it vital to understanding the times in which we shine the light. We need to know the prevailing attitudes and social customs at that time. Not having a grasp on that will lead to a misinterpretation of the data collected. In other words, you need to know what you're looking at. Was that normal and expected at that time ? Was every white person in America a racist one hundred years ago ? If you only read the words that they wrote, just the words not the meaning, you would think so. Certain prevalent terms are very offensive today. That is why an understanding of the time is so vital.
I have been asked why this fascination with the family tree. I would say it is only because I want to know. Then having gathered all the facts that I can, I can speculate. That is the true lure, the uncovering of secrets. Having knowledge not known by others is a form of power. We all want power. Power is not a bad thing when harnessed. I would use this power to inform and entertain. My audience may be small but they are important. I have a story to tell and it helps to fill in the background. Does it matter where we came from or only where we go ? I can't see the future, only speculate, but the past may be discovered. Hindsight is twenty twenty, isn't that what they say ? The real question is, do you really want to see ?
I have stumbled across a few of these skeletons over the years. The records don't lie. You can see things in black and white that can no longer be denied. Some of these things are shocking, some disappointing. All are in the past. You just can't be sure what you'll see when the light once again shines. Yes, there in the dust and cobwebs there are pieces to the puzzle and those pieces may change the picture. We often have all the pieces to the edge, the ones with at least one straight side, it is the middle pieces that we need to locate.
It is fascinating to me how the story is told by others. Other family members, both before and after you, hold different pieces. There are immediate family members and then more distant ones. The story may be told markedly different by both groups. Some will withhold vital information while others fabricate pieces to fill the gaps. Still others may just " trim " the piece a bit to make it fit better. It is the gathering of all the pieces that occupies those of us who seek to understand, those of us that want to know, It is a journey that comes with some trepidation. Icarus was warned about flying too close to the sun. He ignored that advice and plunged into the sea. We run that same risk, metaphorically, by looking too closely into the past. Our spirits may be dashed. Still, I just can't help but want to know.
Now I do not believe it is possible to get a full and accurate accounting. We can not know the mind of others and their reasoning for their actions. We can however, get an accounting of the results of their actions, and that is what is of interest to me. I do not wish to hold anyone accountable for past actions, that isn't possible. I just want to know what happened. I want to know the story as accurately as possible. Motivations should be left to speculation. It is this speculation that may cause the most angst. That is my reason for trying to avoid that aspect and just record the facts. Keeping the two separated is the task at hand. Speculation, fabrication and outright lies muddy the waters considerably. That is especially true when we feel we have navigated the waters before. We think we know but there are obstacles unseen, hazards to navigation.
I do find it vital to understanding the times in which we shine the light. We need to know the prevailing attitudes and social customs at that time. Not having a grasp on that will lead to a misinterpretation of the data collected. In other words, you need to know what you're looking at. Was that normal and expected at that time ? Was every white person in America a racist one hundred years ago ? If you only read the words that they wrote, just the words not the meaning, you would think so. Certain prevalent terms are very offensive today. That is why an understanding of the time is so vital.
I have been asked why this fascination with the family tree. I would say it is only because I want to know. Then having gathered all the facts that I can, I can speculate. That is the true lure, the uncovering of secrets. Having knowledge not known by others is a form of power. We all want power. Power is not a bad thing when harnessed. I would use this power to inform and entertain. My audience may be small but they are important. I have a story to tell and it helps to fill in the background. Does it matter where we came from or only where we go ? I can't see the future, only speculate, but the past may be discovered. Hindsight is twenty twenty, isn't that what they say ? The real question is, do you really want to see ?
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