There are events that just fill your thoughts. This past week it was the passing of my wife's Uncle George. I have written several times about him, and this loss, yet it still doesn't seem enough has been said. I even wrote a eulogy for George. I didn't give the eulogy or publish the eulogy anywhere but wrote it for myself. I did read it to my wife. Still, I feel compelled to talk about this. I just can't seem to get past the fact of his death. It is just a remarkable thing, unexpected, yes, but the man was 94. At ninety four it was an accident in his home that took his life. Perhaps that is what is so unexpected. Had he been sick or in " failing " health it would have been less of a surprise. He was neither. I figured Uncle George would live forever.
His passing did not make me any more aware of my own mortality that is not what I feel. I am not sad for his passing, he is at rest. His was a good life, a long life, but it was, in the end, his life. Which one of us can say how much he enjoyed it ? Can any of us know the truth of his life ? That he dealt with more struggle and strife than most of us can imagine is without question. I think his passing has left me with more questions than answers. Is it those questions that occupy my thoughts ? If they are I don't know the questions, or the answers ! Death is such a mystery. Or could it simply be that I want to know more ? I only knew him in his later years and not all that well. That he was an aging Uncle I knew well, but of the man, little of substance. I know nothing of his deepest thoughts. How many of our friends and loved ones can we say that we know that about ? The depth of friendship or love can not be easily measured. There are those that can enter your heart with a few words and others that do not gain entry with a book. Uncle George entered mine with a smile and a hello. I wasn't ready for him to say goodbye. I didn't get to decide however, that was not up to me. That decision has been made. I must live with that.
With this writing I have reached a conclusion. Not an end, just a conclusion they are different things altogether. My conclusion is I didn't know nearly enough about Uncle George. There are still things I want to know. That is why it is not an end. I will not forget about him. Isn't it strange how the ones that affect us the most are sometimes the ones we know the least about ? Stranger still, they are sometimes the ones we visit the least, or ask the fewer questions of. I am left with questions, questions that only Uncle George can answer. I'll just have to wait for those answers. I'll get them when the time is right. For now my eyes are shielded and my thoughts open ended. It is the exposing of human frailty that makes us human, the lack of it, immortal. In one of life's ironic twists it is our frailty that makes us human, it is our humanity that makes us immortal.
His passing did not make me any more aware of my own mortality that is not what I feel. I am not sad for his passing, he is at rest. His was a good life, a long life, but it was, in the end, his life. Which one of us can say how much he enjoyed it ? Can any of us know the truth of his life ? That he dealt with more struggle and strife than most of us can imagine is without question. I think his passing has left me with more questions than answers. Is it those questions that occupy my thoughts ? If they are I don't know the questions, or the answers ! Death is such a mystery. Or could it simply be that I want to know more ? I only knew him in his later years and not all that well. That he was an aging Uncle I knew well, but of the man, little of substance. I know nothing of his deepest thoughts. How many of our friends and loved ones can we say that we know that about ? The depth of friendship or love can not be easily measured. There are those that can enter your heart with a few words and others that do not gain entry with a book. Uncle George entered mine with a smile and a hello. I wasn't ready for him to say goodbye. I didn't get to decide however, that was not up to me. That decision has been made. I must live with that.
With this writing I have reached a conclusion. Not an end, just a conclusion they are different things altogether. My conclusion is I didn't know nearly enough about Uncle George. There are still things I want to know. That is why it is not an end. I will not forget about him. Isn't it strange how the ones that affect us the most are sometimes the ones we know the least about ? Stranger still, they are sometimes the ones we visit the least, or ask the fewer questions of. I am left with questions, questions that only Uncle George can answer. I'll just have to wait for those answers. I'll get them when the time is right. For now my eyes are shielded and my thoughts open ended. It is the exposing of human frailty that makes us human, the lack of it, immortal. In one of life's ironic twists it is our frailty that makes us human, it is our humanity that makes us immortal.
Humanity (virtue) - Wikipedia, the free...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanity_(virtue)CachedHumanity is a virtue associated with basic ethics of altruism derived from the human condition. Humanity differs from mere justice in that there is a level of ...
No comments:
Post a Comment