Yesterday afternoon and evening I had an obligation. I attended a viewing for my wife's Uncle George. Personally I dislike the whole idea of a viewing, and if I had my way I would not participate in any of them, including my own. All the mourners gathering around and saying how " good " the deceased looks. Well they don't look good, they look, deceased. Phrases like, he or she is at peace now or they are in a better place, do little to assuage the anguish one feels at their loss. I can understand and appreciate the sentiment but I find it of little comfort. The only comfort I can see coming from that is that it is expected. The expected can be a relief in times of sorrow or tragedy.
As I sat there I did view Uncle George. I thought about his words and actions while he was with us. I couldn't help but think, as I always do at these things, how strange it all is. The dearly departed propped up in a box on display. Folks enter and go to the side of the deceased. Most just stand there and stare. A few will kneel down and offer a prayer. After a minute or so they wander off to join the others. Soon there are groups of people talking about various topics almost oblivious to the fact that a dead person is in the room ! You would think that it would be the focus of attention, I mean, it is not a natural and normal thing., I'm not sure about others, but I find my attention drawn to that. And even more strangely I found myself doing the same. I would forget for just a moment or two. Perhaps that is the real reason we have these " viewings. " They help us deal with that absence.
I know that you don't go to these viewings for the deceased. You go to show your respect to the friends and family remaining. In a way we go to show others how much we cared about that person. That is the intent. It is a moral obligation that should be fulfilled. Convention dictates that. It is the custom. It is a custom I find unsettling. Today I will attend his funeral. Today, as I always did, I will once again say. " see you later Uncle George. " I believe that I will see him again when the time is right. All things happen for a reason and all things in time. Uncle George was a confirmed bachelor for 94 years. He is at home now with his parents and the others that he loved. He is not gone, just in a different place.
Now there is one thing that Uncle George would want you to know. He was a contestant on The Price is Right with Bill Cullen in 1961. That was something he was very proud of. Yes, he won the showcase ! A car, furniture, dishes, jewelry and a mink stole. Uncle George never missed an opportunity to tell you, or anyone that would listen, about that. To him it was a crowning achievement ! The fact that he reveled in it so pleased me to no end. This was a man that had served in World War Two but never mentioned that. A man that worked all his life and spent 70 years of that life in the same house. There were still dishes in the cabinet that he won on that show. He had used them every day since 1961. In the last fifteen years of his life he was blind and partially crippled. He still lived alone, without assistance. Oh, they were those of us that went and did his grocery shopping and took him to the doctor but he did his own laundry, cooking and took care of himself. An independant man that lived life the way he wanted to. That was Uncle George and a contestant on the Price is Right. On the show, and in life I would say he won the " showcase " by showing all that knew him what it means to be true to oneself and to one's friends and family. Uncle George, a quiet presence that will be missed.
As I sat there I did view Uncle George. I thought about his words and actions while he was with us. I couldn't help but think, as I always do at these things, how strange it all is. The dearly departed propped up in a box on display. Folks enter and go to the side of the deceased. Most just stand there and stare. A few will kneel down and offer a prayer. After a minute or so they wander off to join the others. Soon there are groups of people talking about various topics almost oblivious to the fact that a dead person is in the room ! You would think that it would be the focus of attention, I mean, it is not a natural and normal thing., I'm not sure about others, but I find my attention drawn to that. And even more strangely I found myself doing the same. I would forget for just a moment or two. Perhaps that is the real reason we have these " viewings. " They help us deal with that absence.
I know that you don't go to these viewings for the deceased. You go to show your respect to the friends and family remaining. In a way we go to show others how much we cared about that person. That is the intent. It is a moral obligation that should be fulfilled. Convention dictates that. It is the custom. It is a custom I find unsettling. Today I will attend his funeral. Today, as I always did, I will once again say. " see you later Uncle George. " I believe that I will see him again when the time is right. All things happen for a reason and all things in time. Uncle George was a confirmed bachelor for 94 years. He is at home now with his parents and the others that he loved. He is not gone, just in a different place.
Now there is one thing that Uncle George would want you to know. He was a contestant on The Price is Right with Bill Cullen in 1961. That was something he was very proud of. Yes, he won the showcase ! A car, furniture, dishes, jewelry and a mink stole. Uncle George never missed an opportunity to tell you, or anyone that would listen, about that. To him it was a crowning achievement ! The fact that he reveled in it so pleased me to no end. This was a man that had served in World War Two but never mentioned that. A man that worked all his life and spent 70 years of that life in the same house. There were still dishes in the cabinet that he won on that show. He had used them every day since 1961. In the last fifteen years of his life he was blind and partially crippled. He still lived alone, without assistance. Oh, they were those of us that went and did his grocery shopping and took him to the doctor but he did his own laundry, cooking and took care of himself. An independant man that lived life the way he wanted to. That was Uncle George and a contestant on the Price is Right. On the show, and in life I would say he won the " showcase " by showing all that knew him what it means to be true to oneself and to one's friends and family. Uncle George, a quiet presence that will be missed.
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