Saturday, March 14, 2015

Waiting on fate

 I feel like I am waiting for the next chapter. This " book " I call my life has certainly been interesting so far, but I'm anxious to turn the page. I can't imagine what is coming up next. I bought a lottery ticket last night, the mega millions, but didn't win. I'm not starting the I'm a millionaire chapter, at least not today. I'm thinking this feeling probably stems from my Navy days. During that time I moved around every three or four years. I have now been sedentary for over twenty years. That is the longest I have ever gone. Not that I don't like living in Greensboro, it is a great place to be, but my roots are not here. I'm living in a foreign land.
 Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining, just ruminating. I have been many things and lived in many places. Presently I'm the old guy that works at Save a Lot. Some know that I am the managers father and others , well, I don't know what they think. I have heard, from one customer , that there is no shame in working at the grocery store. I was glad to hear that as this isn't the first grocery store I have worked at. Fact is, I have gone almost full circle. I worked at the grocery store before joining the Navy, now retired from that, I'm back. Same occupation, different location.
 I could start talking about making a contribution to society and that whole thing. It wouldn't be the truth. I have never really thought about making any great contribution to society, seems like a bit of a vain idea, but rather I try to just get along. The choices I have made I made to satisfy myself. That is the truth of it. It is true that those choices proved to be of benefit to others at times and a detriment to myself. The reality is I still made the choice because it is what I wanted. I've never thought of it as a sacrifice. Nothing that noble has entered my thinking.
 I don't believe you can create your own fate. Fate, by its' very definition, is nothing but chance. So what I'm really waiting on is fate. What will be the next chapter ? I do not need to do anything to set fate in motion, that happens automatically. I do need to be accepting of that fate. that is the secret, I believe. It is that acceptance that brings us fulfillment and happiness. It is not necessarily the things we dream about or desire. You may tie that to religion, trusting in God, as the explanation. God works in mysterious ways. We have all heard that. It is an explanation for why things do not always go as we wish. It is another way of saying, accept fate.
 The end of a long winter is at hand. This could be just a touch of cabin fever. Soon I'll throw open the windows. I will be eligible for social security in July ! I haven't decided whether to continue working or just call it enough. I'm grateful for good health and a comfortable position in the world. I have much to be thankful for. I'm not anxious to be at the end of the book, just anxious to turn the page. This story is getting good.

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