New Tech,same old headache

 I do like to try new technology even though it can be frustrating. I just purchased a device called Chromecast. The name caught my attention because I use Chrome as my browser. This device allows me to stream anything from my laptop directly to the television. I was interested in that capability because I like to share my pictures and videos. This device ,in essence, is taking the place of a movie projector or slide show. I always did think a slide show was a pretty cool thing. My parents never did the slide thing, too expensive, but I had friends that did. Those pictures sure would pop ! We didn't know anything about pixels and resolution or high def. It is ironic, in an offhand sort of way, that the best film to take those slides with was Kodachrome. There is that " Chrome " again, coincidence or by design ? It's only drawback, so far, is that it has to go through your browser first. That means I have to be online and stream from a website there, like Facebook. If it is on Facebook I can put it on television. I believe I have seen something like this in the past so it is probably not a " new " thing just new to me. I am still in that learning curve. I have discovered that it will not work from my desktop, no wi-fi there. That is one of those things I need to learn more about. I'm betting there is a device that can enable it. Probably need to buy something additional. That is the way it usually is.

 I purchased this Chromecast device and it was only thirty five dollars. I had considered buying what they call an HDMI cable to run from my computer to the television. The cable would have cost more than that little device ! I would have had to buy two cables and a connector to join them about forty dollars total. This Chromecast device just plugs into the HDMI slot on the back of the television or more properly, the monitor. I do like this wireless stuff ! It is like magic sometimes. The Wi-Fi is wireless, I can buy a wireless keyboard and send signals to my monitor wirelessly. The box says I can stream from my smartphone, if I had one of those , or my tablet ! I keep a tablet on my desk next to the monitor to take notes on, but haven't figured out how that is going to connect ! Well maybe because it is really a spiral wound steno book and not a true tablet it will not work. Something else to buy.

 I do need to do more research. They talk about cloud based sites that can serve the same function as a website like Facebook. All that is where it can get confusing. I'm thinking, and this is only speculation, that for a fee I could upload my pictures and videos to this cloud. From the cloud I could then stream back, through my Chromecast device to my television / monitor. I'm certain of one thing, it will cost something ! There will be a monthly fee associated with this service unless I opt for an annual contract. That has been my experience with most everything associated with this new tech stuff ! Well, it is a novel thing for right now anyway. Is this a technology that will last ? Is it something I will continue to use ? I think so. So I leave you with this warning, if you come to visit me bring the popcorn. There is a good chance you will be subjected to the slide show or what was once called " home movies. " The more things change, the more they stay the same. What ? You don't have Chromecast ? No problem I brought mine along just in case. It will just take a second to connect. 

Reasons and excuses

 There are reasons and there are excuses. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish between the two. I think we give reasons when we feel our actions are justified, and excuses when we feel they are not. Excuses tend to shift the blame. The, it is not my fault mentality, see that a lot more often these days. Then they are reasons for doing a specific action that result in having to make excuses for that action. Those are the confusing ones. It happens when one group chooses to not listen to reason, but react on a visceral level. It is when discussion fails, that excuses begin.
 The nature of man is visceral, that is undeniable. We must learn to operate within a certain set of guidelines to function effectively as a society. The establishment of those guidelines causes the friction. Some will say intellect determines the extent of " civilization " of man. Intellect certainly plays a major role in that, understanding the reasons as it where. The manufacturing of excuses to " overturn " reason also requires a certain degree of intellectual prowess. That is usually the function of lawyers. The quickest way to achieve this " overthrow " is to appeal to the visceral nature of man. This can manifest itself in language and tone. That is how protests begin, protests are a visceral approach to an intellectual problem. Visceral responses rely upon intimidation and force to be effective. Reason plays no role in this, excuses are given for that action, The standard response of " we had no choice " is the weapon of choice.
 The largest stumbling block to the establishment of society is the standardization of a moral code. Some will label it religion. That is as accurate a name as one could apply I suppose. The delineation of those rights or " moral behavior " is the function of any religion. That was recognized and in America we established the separation of  " religion " from " government. " The big issue, then and now, is that moral conscience was used to establish that very same government. If we cannot decide upon a " moral compass " how can we then decide the direction of government ? The answer is quite simple really. Government has no place in making moral decisions. You can not legislate morality.
 The purpose of government is to fabricate a society where all may co-exist without fear of being wronged, by that government ! That, to me, is the fine point that is being missed in most of the discussions of today. Government ideally is the collective conscience of the people being governed.
 Conscience is that inner sense of what is right and what is wrong. The question presented to government is, does that government have the right or obligation to determine that conscience ? No, it must be decided upon by the governed. The altering of conscience is brought about by what ? Will any law do that ? No, that answer is evident. Crimes, actions contrary to established moral behaviors, happen every day. The altering of conscience can only occur with a " religious " experience. I use religion only for the sake of convenience, feel free to apply whatever name you like. The point here is you can make law but law will not change the conscience of man. You may cause him to suppress his action, depending upon the strength of his visceral reaction. That is to say make him behave in a certain fashion, at least temporarily.
 Can any government accomplish this task ? It is a task of herculean proportions and has not been sustained by any government. The problem lies when that government ( remember that government is the conscience of the people ) disregards conscience in favor of law. Conscience is concerned with the well being of others. That is the reason for government, not an excuse to make law.

Symbols

 Today is Palm Sunday. This year it kinda snuck up on me. I guess my lack of church attendance is the cause of that. Once I realized that next Sunday is Easter Sunday I woke up. Geez, how could I forget about Palm Sunday. I do have fond memories of preparing the palms to hand out at church when I was young. A group of us would gather in the parish house when they arrived in a big cardboard box. As a child I remember thinking they must have come from Galilee or Jerusalem ! It was an exciting thing to take those palms and start splitting them into individual palms. They would be placed in a woven basket, like the kind I imagined the ladies took to market in the old days. to be handed out to everyone entering the church. I felt privileged to be involved in all of that.
 I remember being told that Jesus rode a donkey into the city that day. The donkey was a symbol of peace because horses were used in war. The palms were also a sign of peace. That is what I was taught and what I believe. The actual facts are not so important as the symbolism. Symbols of all types are used to express abstract ideas or beliefs. We use letters and numbers in that way. They are symbols and have meaning to those that are taught that meaning. So too are the symbols we embrace in our beliefs. We need to be instructed in those symbols. The palm goes way back in history as a symbol of peace. It was used as such long before Jesus. The beginnings of a symbol are often lost to history. The origins are not so important as the understanding of the current meaning of that symbol. A symbol begins as a sort of secret code, known only to those that are taught its' meaning. As the symbol spreads, so too, the meaning. I believe the palm to be a symbol of peace but others will tel you it is a symbol of triumph ! It is true that great conquerors had palms and other things, thrown at their feet when they entered a city. It was a sign of subservience. A symbol of triumph or a symbol of peace ? It is both.
 Symbols represent ideas or beliefs. When we destroy the symbol do we then destroy the idea or belief ? No I don't think we do, we just assign a different symbol to those ideas or beliefs. Call it rebranding if you will. Marketing is like that. Symbols are very powerful things although intangible. It is all in what you believe it to be. 

Lonely warriors

 I saw a small piece on the morning news. It was about a World War two veteran that had been flown to DC on an honor flight. If you are not familiar with that, it is a non-profit organization that brings veterans to see the memorials on the capitol mall dedicated to their service. This gentleman was taken ill while at the memorials and is in the hospital. A "go fund me page" has now been established to raise sufficient funds to fly him back home to Seattle. It must be a medical equipped airplane, very expensive. I'm sure the funds will be raised.
 As I watched that piece and listened to that man speak I couldn't help but think about what it all signifies. His is the generation of my father. These veterans of World War two are leaving us at an alarming rate. I could not help but think how few still walk walk among us. But, more succinct was the thought, I walked among them, hundreds of them ! When I was a child these veterans virtually surrounded me. My father, my uncles and my neighbors. I saw these men daily and listened to their words. Seldom did they speak of war and it's horrors. They did speak of right and wrong. They just went about their lives, raising their families. They were not the ones that built those memorials, those memorials came much later. They have been called the " greatest generation " and it is a moniker well deserved. They asked for nothing in return for their service, but lived with the pride of having served.
 I will never forget the privilege of having known these men. How unaware I was. They mentioned their service with such nonchalance and spoke in humble terms. My own father never told me much about his own experience, only that war was an ugly business. I could see the sorrow in his eyes when, on those rare occasions he spoke of losing his comrades. I can but imagine how those veterans left to us now must feel. All there friends that they lost to war and now lost to time and age. Surely they are lonely warriors yet still display such dignity. That ,to me, is their legacy, dignity !
 It is my generation that the honor of remembering them falls too. We must be vigilant to preserve that legacy and teach the lessons that we were taught. Those veterans are becoming harder to find and soon those first person accounts will be gone. Is that not ever so. The warriors of the past fading into history. I will carry their banner for them. I will embrace their lessons and pass them along as best I can. Service,honor and dignity are their hallmarks.
 I expect, in my lifetime, the last veteran of that horrible combat will be saluted for the last time. It is a day that I will meet with sorrow, but with dignity ! That is how it should be. The last veteran of the first world war, the war to end all wars, has left us. Frank Buckles was the last known American to have served in World War 1 and died in Feb of 2011. Not much was heard of this in the mainstream media, an event, in my opinion, that warranted much coverage. I hope for better when the final combatant from World War two leaves us. That is expected to occur about 2038. That is only twenty three years from now. It will be with his/her passing that the final chapter will be written.
  

A Birthday

 Thirty five years ago today a little girl was born. I could not know what an impact this little child would have in my life. In fact, in the life of my entire family. The road we travel takes many twists and turns. This old boy from Long Island wound up in Greensboro Maryland. I had barely heard of Maryland before moving there, only knowing that it was close to the Capital. I didn't know that Maryland had a place they call the eastern shore. Then after moving here I found I am not near the shore at all ! So just why am I here ? Well, as it turned out that little girl was living there, that little girl that would grow up and eventually marry my son Kevin. It was divine intervention, God does work in mysterious ways. And Maria, that little girl, is a small miracle in herself. Yes, my son is lucky to have such a fine girl for a wife but what he needs to remember is she is my " daughter. " Forget all that in law stuff, that is only a term of convenience. A matter of biology having nothing to do with the heart. In every way I think of her as a daughter and love her in that way. Only difference is, I got all the good, without any of the work. Her dad did all the work and he has much to be proud of. Tom, that is her Dad, left this earth two years ago, his job done, but I'm betting he is looking down smiling.
 And so today is a special day, a birthday. Today a little girl was born that would become the bride of my son,the mother of my grandchildren and my daughter. She has brought with her much joy and love into the family. I'm proud to see her taking the grandchildren to church and showing them the way to conduct themselves. She is the epitome of motherhood. No accolades are too great for her. I have been blessed indeed. Happy Birthday Maria. 

Answer the door

 In the summer of '58 my mother was younger than my sons. Let that sink in a minute. My Mom was younger than my own children and I was five years old. I can't say with certainty I remember a whole lot about that summer, with one exception, a record that she bought. It was a forty five on the MGM label. It was a tune by Sheb Wooley, "purple people eater". I can remember Mom playing that song over and over. A novelty hit they call it. I checked online and it was no. 1. I also know that she bought it from Harry Goldstein a traveling salesman, sorta. Goldstein owned a large department store somewhere up the Island. He also had a green panel truck that went from door to door and took orders from his catalogue. I can't say with absolute certainty what other goods were available but he sold records ! I'm not certain if you could just pay on time or if it was a cash transaction, I just remember seeing the man and that panel truck.
 Yes, back in '58 a good deal of our shopping was done in that way. We used Sears and Roebuck, Montgomery Ward and J.C. Penny. All were mail order houses and had the " revolving " credit plans. Sears was the leader of the pack in our house and that Christmas wish book was extraordinary. a regular " google " before there was google. There was a Sears outlet store in Skimhampton were you could pick up your order. The lady would call and tell you your package was in. Mom was almost always home to answer the call. Remember there was no such thing as cell phones, answering machines or text messages ! The only text message we got was a card in the mailbox saying your order was available for pick up. I don't recall ever seeing a Fedex or UPS truck deliver anything to my house, maybe they did, but I doubt that. Communications wasn't as quick or persistent as they are today. The Sears lady would call once or maybe twice and try to catch you home, that was a courtesy call really and good for business.
 Living on a dirt road at the edge of Northwest woods we didn't get a lot of traveling salesman. I know that they were around though. The fuller brush man and a shoe salesman I had seen uptown. Well, those "upstreeters" could afford those fancy brushes and wing tipped shoes. The uptown ladies just sat around brushing their hair most of the time anyway. When you don't do any real work for a living, like just selling something, you can wear wing tipped shoes too. Wing tips don't work well in a fishing dory. I don't think that shoe salesman sold waders.
 It has been said that songs are something you remember. I believe that. I can remember the lyrics to lots of songs from my childhood but can't recite too many lessons from school. I'm not sure why that purple people eater song came to mind this morning but it did. I can hear those lyrics right now. I suppose Mom played that song for a good while and that is why it stuck with me. Seems funny now that my mother would like a silly song like that. Seems funny now that Mom was that young ! The same way the grandkids look at me sometimes I suppose, is he really that old ? What memory of me will they carry ?
 In a way it is a shame the traveling salesman went the way of the dinosaur. It was a social event when they did come. Mr. Goldstein would arrive in his dusty old panel truck carrying a catalogue. Hr would point out the newest thing and what you could get a bargain on. He was your " friend " and cared about your well being. Why this new product was just what you needed. I expect he carried some stock items with him on that truck for immediate sale. Now when the insurance guy came around that was a different matter, all he wanted was money. A man I knew only as " mouse " a nickname my dad gave him would arrive driving a volkswagen beetle..He wanted the monthly payment on that life insurance policy and always tried to sell you more. Sometimes Mom would hide and pretend we were not home. Thing is, he always came back.

 I'm not sure when, but at some point that all stopped. Mr. Goldstein didn't come anymore and neither did mouse. I don't ever recall " Avon calling. " When the milk man stopped delivering I can't say, must have been sometime in the early 60's. The end of an era that will never be again. Too dangerous to do that stuff nowadays and not cost effective. Going online just isn't the same as looking through the catalogues. Having someone come right to your door ? I probably wouldn't open it, just hide and make believe I'm not home. You can't be sure what kind of nut might be there !

The depth of thought

 The real problem begins when we allow others to tell us what should upset us. I believe that is what is happening to many in this country right now. Bowing to political correctness and peer pressures a sense of unrest is created. Many times I find people upset about causes and ideas they know little about. Why is this ? Because they are just going along with the crowd. The herd mentality. And that comes about as a result of not thinking for yourself. It is certainly easier that way and you will be popular, but will you be happy ?
 I find it sad when when you are discussing a current event type topic and the other person has no historical reference to guide their thinking. I have often said, there is little to be said that hasn't been said before, and it is also true that there is little that hasn't happened before. If one reads a bit of history it will provide some reference for thought. It is true that children need guidance. It is also true that parents and other adults will influence the thoughts of children. Children are easily manipulated, hence the saying taking candy from a baby. What I am talking about however are the adults. So many " adults " today that just go with the crowd and whatever their favorite musician or movie personality happens to be saying. Those that become " offended " because they are being told that they should be offended. There are those that deny what they know to be truth because, it isn't in concert with the current trends. This is the era of noncommittal. At least that is the way I see it. So many afraid to commit to anything for fear of being labeled. Protesting by marching in the streets and chanting slogans is not making a commitment. That is just joining in the party. Yes, you will get attention but that is the not the same thing as making a commitment.
 I can understand and appreciate different views on a subject. I am not saying my way or my views are always correct, but they are close. Just kiddin' but that is committal. I do enjoy a good discussion and valid references add to that. The argument of " because " and," so and so said so " are not valid references. It is the depth of your thought that gives depth to the discussion. Just getting angry, immediately followed by a string of expletives, is not going to convince me of the sincerity of your belief. Why are you angry ? I want some context. And I want some committal. If you quote chapter and verse from the Bible I will accept that as a basis for your anger. I may not agree with the interpretation you have of that verse, but now I have context. If you should compare an historical event and the ensuing results from that event, I have context. A well reasoned response is what is required. When we become dissatisfied with our current situation we want change. That is a human response. It is also a response that should be well reasoned. Look before you leap ! Remember that advice ? The satisfying of our immediate needs may not be beneficial tomorrow. A happy life require commitment ! Do not allow others to control your happiness. 

Looking Back

 Looking back I wish I would have looked harder when I was there. Isn't that the usual way of things ? We tend to travel to see the sights but ignore our own backyard. Sure you can read the history of an area and look at old pictures, but being there is the thing. Talking with the folks that lived there can get mixed results. We all see history through a filter. The filter of our own memories and the things we were told. That isn't to say those things are not the truth, for there are layers in truth, but the deeper the layers the more convoluted the history. Written and oral history does depend upon the view of the author. Their individual interpretation of the situation may be quite a bit different than mine or yours.
 This became a bit more evident to me just the other day. I was writing about St. Matthew's chapel. An alternate history was proposed by a friend, including a referenced article. I read that article with interest, comparing it to the history I had been told by my Mom. Now if you learn some history from your mother you kinda believe it ! That is as it should be. Thing is, Mom didn't know all the history as that history had started before her time. I went to the internet for some more information.
 As it turned out Mom was correct in her history. She had the basic facts correct. There was, of course, more to the story than that. The article shared by a friend discussed some of that history. That history took place in my time and being only a few years old I was unaware. By the time I was old enough to begin to understand that was old news, common knowledge, and not discussed much. That little chapel is where Mom went to church as a child. In her adult life however she did not go there as that chapel was rarely used. Mom took us children to the big church uptown. St. Luke's is like a cathedral compared to that chapel. Mom would point that chapel out as we drove past and tell us of going to church there. She told of the pot bellied stove for heating and the old pump organ. There were few pews and the place would be crowded. We kids always thought she was just telling tales, like walking to school five miles and all that. As it turns out what she said is the truth. What she didn't know was that that chapel was also used by other congregations. The Baptist people of the town had no church or chapel of their own. The Episcopal church that owned the chapel allowed them to use it, at least on one occasion they did, as that was mentioned in the article I was provided. They held a meeting there and decided to build their own church. Funds were raised and the church was constructed. The Calvary Baptist Church was less than twenty years old when I was growing up but I thought that church had been there forever.
 It was this little foray into history that lead to this thought today. Often times the little things of everyday life get overlooked. The how and why of things can get lost or misunderstood. The machinations of men can conceal the truth as well. The truth is dependant upon the honesty and direct knowledge of the author. To understand history one must understand motivations. It is those motivations that are the grey areas. I do think it is best to keep in mind just because something is written down that doesn't mean it is the truth. It very well may be the truth of the author but not the whole truth. I do enjoy hearing the alternative story in everything. Some may become upset when presented with another history but I like to learn from it. There is always something to learn. The truth is, the why of things can usually be told in one sentence, motivations are easy to state but don't make much of a story. Explaining those motivations however is a whole new ballgame !

Being creative

 I spent my weekend doing some small projects. These were the little projects that I have had in mind for some time and for one reason or another just never got around too. Well, this time I did ! And I must say I am fairly well pleased with the results. Even the simplest of things can go wrong, but all went well. I think what I was doing could be called " crafting " although that isn't a term I often use. I think that is a fairly modern term.
 I started by applying some vinyl decals to my kitchen table top. My kitchen has an apple and chicken theme going on that is on the verge of getting out of hand. At any rate I applied the decals and then sealed the table top with some spar urethane. That ought to allow wiping the table without removing my decals, I hope. After that was completed I felt " empowered ". Isn't that what they say these days ? I felt empowered and decided to tackle another project I have had in mind. My granddaughter likes to burn tea candles in her bedroom so I thought she should have a fireplace. I got a pile of rocks, some hot glue and started building. After gluing those rocks into the shape I wanted I filled the gaps with clay. I bought this clay at the Walmart and you just bake it in your oven at home. That turned out pretty good. It is not perfect but it'll do the job.
 Now, having accomplished this fireplace building I was really feeling it, as the kids say. I went into the kitchen and stopped to admire that table. It was then I noticed that my napkin and salt and pepper holder was just a plain white. I thought, I'll just paint an apple on it to match the table top. That is quite a bold decision for me as I have zero artistic ability. As my Dad would say, you can't draw a straight line with a ruler. That's not true, it is just that the straight line wouldn't be where it should be. My " art work " is usually a " piece of work. " Nevertheless I got out paint and brush and had at it ! I surprised myself as it does look like an apple. Amazing. I'm on a roll.
 And then having been successful with these things I embarked upon one more project. This time I'm sewing. Hey, I have some skills in that department from my upholstering days. I can use a sewing machine, mostly in a straight line, corners can be a problem, but I can sew two items together. My Mom had sent my wife a modified sweatshirt a while back. Mom does a lot of crafting/sewing. My wife liked the thing, call it a sweatshirt jacket, and wanted another. I figure I can do that. I took a regular sweatshirt and cut it right up the middle in the front. Bam, it is now a jacket. I sewed an edging down each cut from top to bottom and there you have it. Quick,simple and very stylish if I don't say so myself. My wife is happy and now has another one in a different color. I expect I'll be sewing a few others for different outfits. No problem.
 All in all it was a very productive weekend. Very relaxing. I have many other projects in mind and will save them for another day. I do tend to go in fits and spurts. This past weekend the creative juices were flowing. That little fireplace was the one thing I enjoyed the most. I intend to give it to Morgan this afternoon. My hope is that it is something she not only likes but keeps. You just never know what will become a heirloom. I don't think you can make a heirloom , it kinda has to make itself. Heirlooms are those things that survive. They must survive at least one lifetime I think and perhaps even several. I've got a few that have done just that. You just never know.

I painted that apple.

rustic, don't you think 

St. Matthew's

 There is a little wooden chapel named St. Mathews that I used to pass almost daily. It sat just off the Three Mile Harbor Road. It was rarely used but during the summer months. It sat in an area called Freetown. Now, I didn't know that was Freetown back in those days. It was rarely, if ever, referred to in that way. My Mom told me years later that her father, Grandfather Horace, would use that as a location. At some point after 1975, the last year I lived in East Hampton, the name Freetown came back into popular use. Apparently back in Grandfather's day living in Freetown was not a good thing. It was a settlement originally made for freed slaves and displaced  Indians. Not a very savory neighborhood ! I hear that Freetown is quite the location today, a sign of prestige and pride. I really can't say but I remember the area and it was nice enough when I was a kid living in East Hampton. I had relatives there and friends. But ,back to the Chapel. My Mom told me she would attend services there as a child. She didn't live far from there, on the outskirts of Freetown really, although I don't think Mom wants to admit to that. Old stigmas are not easily forgotten.
 Now this chapel was an Episcopal chapel. In my time the Reverend Davis was in charge of it. Without looking it all up online I do not know much of the history of that place. I just remember it being there. Now Grandma was a Lutheran. There were no Lutheran churches in East Hampton at that time and Grandma decided the Episcopal church was the closest thing. That is how Mom became an Episcopalian, and in turn, so did I. St Matthew had something to do with that I think. I did attend St. Luke's Church which owned St. Matthew's chapel. I guess it wouldn't much matter to the saints themselves, there are some pretty understanding fellas.
 At this point in my narrative I may become confused or misinformed and I rely upon my readers to correct me if I am wrong. I had heard that the chapel was sold and moved to a marina by Three Mile Harbor, perhaps the Silver Seahorse but that is a guess. I believe someone told me it was to be a chapel for Mariners. I can definitely see that as a fitting use for that chapel. I'm quite sure a number of mariners attended that chapel when it was in Freetown. I'm certain a good majority of those congregants were waterman. Depending upon the age of the chapel they could have been round the world whalers to just the fisherman working the bay. I know Grandfather Horace worked the water although from what I hear he probably didn't attend church a whole lot ! Again, perhaps I am wrong about that.
 I'm not sure what brought me to thinking about that little chapel this morning. Maybe it was St.Matthew speaking to me. I'll have to read a little of his chapter today, perhaps there is a message waiting there. One never knows. I do find it comforting to know the chapel still exists. Maybe I'll get to visit it one day.  

To what end

 To what end shall I live ? That is a question I often ponder. Yes, I ponder. Not sure where I learned to ponder I just do. I didn't ponder growing up so I must have learned that after high school, maybe out at sea during my Navy days. No matter, the fact that I do ponder is well established in my writing of these blogs. If I were still in the Navy I would call them " logs. " Seafarers keep log books. Cliche yes, but I have a " sea chest " in the attic filled with my old uniforms. That chest has never been to sea though. I wander off course though. I was thinking about to what end I shall live. The quick answer is, until I die and then that is the end. I never did like the quick answers though I always want to know just a little bit more. Not enough to be considered expert however, just reasonably informed. I mean you have to have some mystery to life or it just gets boring. Knowing the end would take the mystery out of life that much is sure, but at the same time it would make the journey a little easier too. A little difficult to tell at times if I am making any progress ! It is a lot easier to assess those around me. Judging others comes quite naturally don't you think ? 

 I believe we are all here to serve some purpose. I can't bring myself to believe it could all be just random. A few too many coincidences for that. The thing I ponder the most is, when that purpose or mission is complete is that when I die ? Or, do you get to hang around awhile and enjoy your success ? If you are a christian you are taught the big reward is in the afterlife so why hang around here ? If I have earned my reward shouldn't I receive it immediately ? That would seem to make sense. The problem there is I see many people suffer with illness of all types and experience terrible tragedies in their lives and yet they remain. To what purpose would that be ? Is that their purpose ? Will that fate become mine as well ? We just can't know the answer to those questions and so I continue to ponder.

 You are never to old to learn new things and change your ways. We often assume that the changing of your ways implies you are doing something wrong. That isn't always the case. What's the old saying, there is more than one way to skin a cat ? No one method is better than another. Getting the job done is the important part. And so with that thought in mind I ponder a new course. But then I hesitate because perhaps this new course will lead me to the end. I'm not anxious to get there ! On the other hand I will reach the end regardless, it is just that I may reach the end unrewarded. There has to be winners and losers in every game doesn't there ? That would seem a cruel joke now wouldn't it ? A God that allows you to lose ? Well in all fairness he did give us the rule book to follow. It is not his fault if we don't follow it ! I believe he has a purpose for me and I must discover that purpose. That is the end I seek. The real question to ponder is this, should I be concentrating on fulfilling God's mission for me or obtaining eternal life ? Did Jesus not say, those who believe in me shall not perish but have everlasting life. That is the reward, but what is the mission ? Do I even need to know ? I think not, but I can ponder the answer anyway. I just need to continue on faith. Read the book and follow the instructions, should be easy enough , right ? 

Name the place

 In real estate there is a saying, location,location,location. Those are the three most important things to look for, everything else can be changed. That is true with ourselves as well. Being in the right place is of utmost importance. Just as with real estate we do need to find that spot. We may need to make some adjustments before we build. But I'm beginning to wander off the subject I had in mind. What I was thinking about was places and place names. I was thinking how those areas have grown in size over the years and some of the more localized names are not used at all. There is a tendency to describe an area today by the name of the housing development there. In Greensboro there is HOKUM, a housing development by the great bend in the river, or so the developer says. There is Kinnamon Meadows, a local family name. In years past there was Four Corners. That is where the two main roads in Greensboro intersect and a popular meeting point. Meet me at four corners. There is Red Bridges where you can go fishing. Only locals would know that, the sign says Christian Park. I'm sure there are plenty of other examples.
 In the town where I was raised there are a number of such locations. Soak hide, the head of the harbor, Dominy's point, Sammis beach and Napeague. I could go on but you get the idea. I don't live in that area anymore and I wonder if all these place names are still used. I would think that they are not. Some were known to me but not used. Pudding hill is one example. Freetown was another, although it has been reported that freetown is enjoying a renewal. Some names are just descriptive of the area, like two holes of water. Other tell of the past like Whooping boys hollow, pronounced holler, although that is the only instance of holler being used in that manner that I am aware of, everything other instance it is hollow. The whole point being that a local would know the exact location you were talking about.
 Over the years and as more people settled in the area these descriptors seem to disappear or grow to include a larger area. I lived down to Three Mile Harbor in the town of East Hampton. Now it is the " Hamptons. " The Hamptons include several towns and cover a very large area. Locals probably still say Three Mile but it is becoming less used I would think. I can't really speak to all that not living there anymore. I do know from old maps and the old folks that there were many more place names used.
 I have a idea why this happens. I'm thinking the more people that are in an area the less intimate they become with the land. When living in an area that is sparsely populated identifiers are necessary to establish a location. Landmarks are chosen that are permanent. Then man moves in and either removes that landmark or builds a new structure, sometimes both. Now a new identifier is established and the old eventually disappears. The area the new inhabitant occupies is a small area. This new inhabitant is not familiar with the old place names and starts using their own. Over time some are lost altogether. Soon the identifiers are man made objects like shopping malls or housing developments. Generalized terms are used for various reasons. Often it is a status symbol thing. I live in the " Hamptons " or I live in "Vail." When living in a rather unknown area names can imply a certain image. Sunnyside Farms or an unusual name like Hokum. Isn't that why plantation owners named their plantations ? The wealthy extended that tradition to their estates. I have heard of summer homes being labeled in that fashion as well. Whatever the case, the name is supposed to reflect the place.
 I really enjoy the old names. It does give one a sense of intimacy with the land and your area. It is like having inside knowledge. Knowledge is power. Outsiders will not know of what you speak ! Secrets of the past preserved in a name. It is a shame to lose them but it has ever been so. New maps will be drawn and areas redefined. A map usually only shows the names of the streets and names of towns, villages or bodies of water. Seldom do those maps include that " insider " knowledge.  

Courtesy and respect

 Some time back I began posting " Good Morning " on my facebook page. I started doing this as a way of promoting being " social. " I thought, that is what they call this, a social networking site, so shouldn't we be social ? Good morning and similar greetings contribute to a social atmosphere. I have been well pleased with the result. It is usually the same group of friends that respond to my greeting each morning, but occasionally others join in. I find I have a nice social relationship with those that respond. I admit it is a limited number of people as my " friends " list isn't all that large. But the truth is we all limit our relationships in some fashion, at least those of us with good common sense do. You cannot be friends with everybody and be truthful. As that character in the movie said, " you can't handle the truth ! " That is true in some instances and it is a wise person that recognizes that.
 I have noticed the public in general seems to be getting more reserved, or paranoid if you prefer. Exchanging a friendly greeting with a stranger is less prevalent now than it was in years past. It was, and still is in my book, a matter of courtesy. Some may call it " respect " you hear that a lot these days, but in reality it is just a courtesy. Courtesy is extended, but respect must be earned. A distinction that is being lost I fear. I acknowledge the presence of another person with a greeting. More often than not, I receive no response. Sometimes I am met with a concerned look, like I am going to ask them for something or attack. This is especially true with the younger crowd. I can only surmise it is because it is what they were taught. My generation was taught to hold the door for a lady or your elder, and respond with yes sir or ma'am.
 Another thing I have noticed is that society must have decided that the best defense is a strong offense. I say this because of the way people speak. People are certainly more forceful in their opinions today. This is evidenced by their choice of words. Sentences are certainly laced liberally with expletives these days, and the majority of them four letters ! Of course all this is just my opinion, I have no research to back me up. It just appears that opinions are now stated as fact and no disagreement is allowed. To disagree is to be labeled in some fashion. Either you are a religious nut, a liberal, a conservative or just plain stupid ! Not that that wasn't so in years past, but you weren't told that, at least not to your face. You extended courtesy to the other person and in return they responded in kind. The primary mission was not to prove that you were right. In fact, more can be communicated by not responding than by instigating an argument. A pleasant, good day,  and turning away from the conversation does much to express your feelings.
 Courtesy and respect. Two words with different meanings. The distinction is not easily evident unless it is taught. I do think that courtesy is becoming lost, viewed as a sign of weakness.Being courteous does not mean you are subjugating yourself. What it is, is offering the opportunity for the other person to reciprocate. In this manner respect may be earned. Constructive conversation always begins with a courteous exchange, battles begin with a cry ! 

The "new" school

 Forty four years ago I graduated from the " new " high school. I still think of it that way, although it certainly has undergone many changes over the years. I even heard a rumor that a new building may be in the works. It is strange how that works. To me that building will always be the new school. At that time, in that place the old high school became the middle school. We didn't have a middle school prior to that. There was two school buildings. The elementary school and the high school. Elementary school went to the sixth grade. Following elementary school we went to seventh and eighth grade. At least that is what we called it. It was in the high school building. I confess that the years have been so many that I have forgotten some of the details. I just remember we didn't call it middle school.
 There was a time when the old high school housed all the grades. That was long before my time though. I have vague memories of going to school at a place we called Skimhampton. A new elementary school was built while I was there and I may have gone to this new school when I was in third grade. This school is the John Marshall elementary school that as far as I know is still in use today. I would expect some changes have taken place to that building as well. And so I can say I saw two new schools built during my time in school. I wasn't in the first graduating class from that elementary school but I was in the first from the new high school.
 I have fond memories of those days and those schools. I have to say the best was the old high school. That high school sits on Newtown lane and is very close to downtown. During the years I attended that building we were allowed to go downtown for lunch. Well, at least the upper classes were. I don't remember if the seventh and eighth graders were allowed or not. It is a big old fashioned looking building. A large stairway leads to the front entrance. I remember those big old wooden windows and the teacher throwing them open when the weather was warm. No air conditioning in that building. On a spring day those open windows could prove to be a distraction. There was the basement, where some history classes were taught and the art room was down there. There were two other floors. I loved going up and down those steps for a reason I still can't explain. My own parents had attended school in that building. My dad told me the story of the hurricane of '38 and how he snuck out the door. The principal was keeping all the children there for safety. Dad had to get home to take care of his grandmother. Mom told stories about she and her sisters going there. It is a building filled with stories and knowledge ! A real high school like you see in those old movies. Blackboards in every room ! No whiteboards or smart boards or computers. We did have calculators so technically we did have a computer so I retract that last statement. We had no vending machines in that school and study hall was for studying. Some teachers would allow you to read other books than text books or draw pictures but never playing games or anything like that.
 Next year my grandson Mark will be going to high school. Elementary for him ended at fifth grade. The middle school is six,seven and eight. The middle school is quite a bit like high school. As an institution of higher learning it is more like an institution ! You have to ring a buzzer to gain access to the building. It wasn't like that in my day. You just walked in the door and went about your business. Now we have to be more concerned with security. The students can not leave the grounds during the day. We were free to pretty much come and go. That is if we had a note from Mom. A note from Mom was as good as a note from the president of the United States back then. Times change and security tightens.
 I am thankful that I got to go to the old high school for those years. It was an experience that many will never know. It is pretty cool to have the distinction of being the first grading class from the " new " high school, especially after forty four years ! Just goes to show how time is relative, just like Einstein said. It is the " new " school to me.

The old high school, now the middle school 

stirring the pot

 An old phrase my dad used a lot came to mind as I was watching the evening news, " stirring the pot. " That is just what the newscasters seemed to be doing too, stirring the pot. I wasn't hearing any insightful analysis of the news, or a unbiased reporting of the facts. I miss Walter. The majority of the events being reported were designed to incite. There is a big difference between inciting and informing and the news should be informative. I have noticed this trend in recent years and I guess it is good for ratings. I mean people watch Maury and Jerry for the same reason ! It has little to do with being informed about the days events and everything to do with getting people riled up. The evening news in particular has turned into nothing more than a political platform. The integrity of the reporters are constantly in question as well. Think Bryan Williams. Ah for the good old days where at least an illusion of integrity was maintained. And not only that reporters exercised good judgement in what they reported. Personal items were not reported in the news and everyone was treated with respect. You certainly can't say that is the case nowadays.
 It is this " stirring of the pot " that troubles me the most. I can't see where it leads to anything constructive, quite the contrary in fact. You now have individuals that believe all manner of distorted views based upon these " reputable " reporters. The trouble makers and rebel rousers get all the attention. Like bullies in the classroom they get the attention. Ever notice how occasionally the news will do a piece on someone that has done something noble. Take for example Robert Downey who just gave a little boy a prosthetic arm. This was reported sure, but it was reported as though it were a rare instance. This is something unusual. Murder,rape,robbery,drugs and all manner of vice is not reported in that fashion. No, those things are the everyday staples of the news. Corrupt politicians, government fraud and waste and the supposed rampant prejudice in this country now that is what is reported. Is it any wonder these crimes are on the rise ? Just what is being fed to the American people ?
 In the not so distant past these crimes were reported upon in a totally different fashion. The perpetrators were presented as evil people that had done wrong. Now, these same criminals are often shown as just needing help and somehow underprivileged. Often it is reported that they need our " support " because they have a mental illness. It is not their fault. Every little detail is reported also. I remember when certain specifics of a crime were not reported to the general public. You would hear phrases like, horrific abuse or unmentionable acts. Today it is very graphic and very detailed ! It is almost as we are being told we should not punish these criminals nor feel contempt for their actions. The latest trend is to rename certain crimes so they don't even sound criminal. Think " undocumented immigrant " for one example. It is illegal to just sneak across our border no matter your reason. The underlying message being, it is not that bad. Committing a crime for the " right " reason is okay. I remember when a crime, was crime ! Another message being sent is, breaking a law is a judgement call on your part. If you feel like you should be allowed to do whatever, just do it. You can always hire a lawyer to defend you or contact the Civil Liberties Union. They will defend almost any action you choose to take. It'll be alright.
 For me it is getting more difficult to take the evening news, as reported, seriously. The news anchors show their politics with frequency. I don't see even a hint of impartiality in their opinion pieces. The news is being used to push an agenda. I wish for the days when the facts were reported, without bias, and you were left to form an opinion. The days when the news anchor was a trusted source and a person to be admired. More often than not these days the news anchor is being chosen for her good looks rather than her journalistic integrity. Meteorologists are like that too ! Walter and David where are you ? Is Charlie Rose the best the networks have to offer ? Well, it doesn't work for me. 

Typing Tech

 The hands truly are quicker than the eye. I know this to be true because of the way I type. I type by looking at the keys. There are times when my fingers go to the wrong key before my eye can reach it. Then my eyes catch up and I realize I have mispelled the word. I have to look at the keyboard to type anything. I vaguely remember taking a touch typing class one summer. Needless to say that just didn't work out. I enjoyed the company in that class, mostly girls, but didn't learn to type. The typewriter was electric, a selectric I believe. I just can't seem to gain enough trust to remove my eyes from the keys, it is just such an unnatural thing for me. I'm certain I will never change this and will always do my " sight " typing method. It does work just fine as long as you are only typing what you already know. Doesn't work well if you are copying anything. I don't expect that is as much an issue as it would have been in years past. Now, just copy and paste ! Do secretaries, opps, administrative assistants, still take dictation ? Do they use shorthand ? Now the kids do thumb typing. I've seen their thumbs as a blur over those virtual keyboards, texting they call it. I'm sending a text. We used to mail letters and cards now we just send a text ! Funny how we thought the telephone was such a great thing. You could just call someone and relay whatever information you wanted. No need to write it down and mail. Then we got mobile phones, even better. And now we have " smart phones " and what do we do ? Send a text ! Back to writing your message, hmm, and these kids think it is something new. I did see that Apple corporation is going to release a product they are calling the " watch. " Yes, it will tell you the time but it is so much more. It is basically a computer on your wrist. Buck Rogers would be jealous ! You can send a text message on it but you can't make a phone call. Maybe old Buck would just laugh about that. Captain Kirk and Spock didn't send text messages, they just taped their communicator. No dialing, well we don't dial anymore either, we do what ?, Is there a term for that ? Nothing comes to mind. I still "tape" the kids but no tape is involved. The other day I discovered that the telegram has been gone for some time now. The last telegram sent in the United States was in 1999, e-mail and now instagram has replaced that technology.
 I have seen software that does the typing for you. I'm guessing that it doesn't work all that well. You can just speak and the computer does the rest. It sounds like a great idea. I do wonder though about punctuation. How would the program know if I wanted an exclamation point or a period. I mean, what about commas or colons ? The voice recognition devices I have had contact with didn't recognize me very well. The program just didn't seem to understand what I Was saying. I will say, in all fairness, I have had the same problem at the McDonalds drive through. It is not my fault, in either case. In the first instance it is faulty technology. In the latter case. those kids just don't understand plain english ! Probably need to wear my ball cap backwards and say yo or man more frequently. And these workers want fifteen an hour ! If they can't understand plain English what are the chances they could write, type or text it ? Just sayin'.
 I guess I have always been just a little behind the times. I was still writing letters when I could have texted. I was still using a camera, with real film, long after we had digital. I still have records in my attic, although I admit no record player. I do wear a belt to keep my pants up and I don't think that will ever change. I can't see myself ever having a K-cup coffee maker either. I see the new technology and watch it's progress. We have made many improvements. I am not intimidated by the technology, just the price of that technology ! That has always been so with the average person. I remember being told, these Electric typewriters are expensive, take good care of them ! Where are those typewriters now ? Some are in a museum somewhere but most have long been recycled. In a way the same will happen to me. I may not end up in a museum but I'll be recycled. All technology is recycled in some fashion. From writing on a cave wall, to sending a text, the concept is the same only the method changes. The first person typing looked at the keys, I still do and it still works. Touch typing ? I don't think so.

Gender Issues

 I read an interesting article about a lady in a Planet Fitness club. She was in the locker room when a man walks in. This man identifies himself as transgender. The lady complains to the manager of the club. She is told that Planet Fitness is a " no judgement " zone and the man is allowed to use whichever locker room he wishes. Subsequent to that she writes to the corporate offices of Planet Fitness and is told the same thing. She continues to go to the club buts " warns " other ladies about this. She is warned, by management, to not do this. She continues and then Planet Fitness revokes her membership and bans her from the club. Now, that sounds like Planet Fitness did indeed make a judgement. They judged her actions inappropriate, the " warning " of other patrons, and barred her. 

 Setting aside my opinion of this " transgender  identity " I couldn't help but feel this was wrong. If this is going to be allowed should it not be conspicuously posted ? I would think that it should ! Now in all fairness the article didn't address whether this policy was posted or not. I'm thinking that the " no judgement zone " policy statement was intended to cover that situation without having to spell it out. A lawyer's trick in this politically correct world. We certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone ! Problem there is, the ones that may be offended are also the ones to quickly point out their differences ! That is, if it isn't immediately obvious. And to me it is not a " judgement " to identify you based upon your body parts. I think basing your gender in that fashion is more of a conclusion based upon the evidence. I'm not a mind reader.

 I am not advocating for a ban against this policy. That is the choice of the business owner. I do think this policy needs to be spelled out completely and plainly ! I can choose whether I wish to patronize the business. As far as it being a dangerous thing, I don't believe it is. Sexual predators don't really pay attention to policy. On a personal level I do not like the policy and would not use those facilities. I would feel quite uncomfortable with all that. I'm not much on the whole " unisex " thing. Without going into the whole big thing I just believe in observing the proprieties at all times. It has been said, " all prejudice presents itself as propriety " and I can't dispute that claim. We all have prejudice and in this I am prejudiced. There is no shame in honesty. Prejudice is based in judgement. Judgement is dependant upon a majority consensus. Right and wrong is so determined. That has always been so in society. The " norms " are so established. 

 I believe all this is a part of the aging process. The things we took to be constants are now changing. New " norms " being established. It is quite unsettling. I can only base my judgements upon the past, both the past I have experienced and the past I have read about. To embark upon fundamental changes in societal norms is a serious matter. We need only look to the past to see the devastating effects those changes may have. We can also look to the past and find examples of positive changes just as readily. I do tend toward the more conservative approach. Look before you leap ! Once the leap has begun there is no stopping until you hit the bottom ! 

 Having read the article and given it some thought I find myself with a different attitude than the one I had initially. I now feel like this incident could have been avoided with a clear policy statement. I can understand the lady's position and her discomfort with this policy. I first thought it was wrong of Planet Fitness to allow this. It is their choice, their business. The real issue here is one of disclousure. The " constants " are changing. Living in a society where almost " everything " goes is certainly challenging. It is difficult for us old folks to keep up. Guys are girls and girls are guys ? Was a day when it was easy to tell, today, not so much. 

Waiting on fate

 I feel like I am waiting for the next chapter. This " book " I call my life has certainly been interesting so far, but I'm anxious to turn the page. I can't imagine what is coming up next. I bought a lottery ticket last night, the mega millions, but didn't win. I'm not starting the I'm a millionaire chapter, at least not today. I'm thinking this feeling probably stems from my Navy days. During that time I moved around every three or four years. I have now been sedentary for over twenty years. That is the longest I have ever gone. Not that I don't like living in Greensboro, it is a great place to be, but my roots are not here. I'm living in a foreign land.
 Do not misunderstand me, I am not complaining, just ruminating. I have been many things and lived in many places. Presently I'm the old guy that works at Save a Lot. Some know that I am the managers father and others , well, I don't know what they think. I have heard, from one customer , that there is no shame in working at the grocery store. I was glad to hear that as this isn't the first grocery store I have worked at. Fact is, I have gone almost full circle. I worked at the grocery store before joining the Navy, now retired from that, I'm back. Same occupation, different location.
 I could start talking about making a contribution to society and that whole thing. It wouldn't be the truth. I have never really thought about making any great contribution to society, seems like a bit of a vain idea, but rather I try to just get along. The choices I have made I made to satisfy myself. That is the truth of it. It is true that those choices proved to be of benefit to others at times and a detriment to myself. The reality is I still made the choice because it is what I wanted. I've never thought of it as a sacrifice. Nothing that noble has entered my thinking.
 I don't believe you can create your own fate. Fate, by its' very definition, is nothing but chance. So what I'm really waiting on is fate. What will be the next chapter ? I do not need to do anything to set fate in motion, that happens automatically. I do need to be accepting of that fate. that is the secret, I believe. It is that acceptance that brings us fulfillment and happiness. It is not necessarily the things we dream about or desire. You may tie that to religion, trusting in God, as the explanation. God works in mysterious ways. We have all heard that. It is an explanation for why things do not always go as we wish. It is another way of saying, accept fate.
 The end of a long winter is at hand. This could be just a touch of cabin fever. Soon I'll throw open the windows. I will be eligible for social security in July ! I haven't decided whether to continue working or just call it enough. I'm grateful for good health and a comfortable position in the world. I have much to be thankful for. I'm not anxious to be at the end of the book, just anxious to turn the page. This story is getting good.

Passion

I have always found it difficult for any one thing to hold my interest. There are those that have a " passion " for things and I envy them. I wonder what that must be like. I have many interests and likes but no passions. Well, I mean passion for doing things. My wife and family I have  passion for, but that isn't what I'm talking about. It is the total and continual focus upon a singular activity that I am fascinated with. I find myself being bored after I obtain a certain degree of mastery. I just haven't found anything I would want to pursue a PhD in.
 I wonder if that is from not wanting to fail. I hate to fail at anything. I don't like to lose but can be a good sport about that. If we are at equal competency in whatever activity we are competing I can take the lose. If I were to consider myself " expert " at any one thing and then fail that would trouble me. For example, there was a day when I felt I could fix anything on an automobile. Over the years  and the addition of electronics and other new technology I no longer feel that way at all. The result is I don't work on automobiles anymore. I mastered what I consider the basics and had no passion to continue to study the workings on the modern automobile. I just don't find it all that interesting. In modern parlance, been there,done that. I think that maybe you would have to be getting something back to feed your passion. Maybe that is why I don't seem to have any one passion, I don't get excited about having accomplished something. That is because I usually only tackle things I know I can reasonably succeed at. I fully expect to succeed, when I don't, I just move on to something else where I know I will.
 I believe this comes from having the father that I did. My dad was accomplished at so many things. Well at least trades. He was a carpenter,mechanic,electrician,machinist,plumber and fabricator. He did some commercial fishing too. And everything he did, he did extremely well. That is not my opinion, that is a general statement from anyone that knew him. Those are big shoes to fill. I haven't gotten that big yet. Even though Dad has been gone for twenty five years I still use him as the measure. Strange how I am almost 62 and still trying to please him. I guess I'm still trying to be the man. Dr. Phil could probably explain all this to me. Then again, I think Dr. Phil is full of it most of the time so I don't think I'd listen. The things others tell you about yourself are only guesses, only you know the truth. The secret is to admit the truth and adjust to reality ! It is unfortunate that we must live in other peoples world. In my world, I'm the boss, but that isn't reality.
 I'm thinking that maybe I'm just a slow burn. That is why it is taking me so long to find my " passion" in life. I'm no flash in the pan, no one hit wonder. I do believe repeatability is the mark of accomplishment. The irony for me is that it is the repetition that causes my loss of interest. I mean if you build one boat what's the point in building another ? I always want to build or do something new, something I haven't done before. I keep thinking about writing a book, haven't done that before. The thing there is, can I reasonably expect to succeed ? Success would depend upon sales and acceptance. I'm not certain I want to risk it. All the support and kind words from friends and family would not satisfy my idea of success, I am aware of that. I do wonder where that inner confidence to just put it out there comes from ? Just how do you convince yourself ? I already know all the arguments and I know all the answers. It could be you just have to figure out a way to fool yourself into belief. Is that the " passion " others have ? It just could be.

Spring

 I opened the window and peered outside. The fresh air brushed against my face and the sun made me blink. What is this, spring ? Ah, what a refreshing sensation. My eyes are straining for the sight of the crocus. Those greens shoots can not be far beneath the surface now, I expect they are straining against the soil trying to break free. If I listen closely I can almost hear them. The daffodils too, are in waiting. Renewal is at hand. I even walked to work in just a sweatshirt, no bulky coat. A liberating experience after months of bitter cold.
 Soon I will begin enjoying my porch/balcony. A good cleaning and a bit of decorating and it will be ready. A few hanging plants, and some potted, will grace that little piece of America. Old glory flies out there ! I'm thinking maybe a new table may be in order this year. Last year the deck was painted and decorated. I stenciled some " bamboo " shoots on that flooring to add a little pop. My son saw those stencils and said, why do you have marijuana leaves painted on our deck ? Maybe I should change that, it does start a conversation though.
 There are the other chores to start preparing for. I need to service my sons' John Deere and get it ready for the season. The wife and I often work in his yard during the season. We both enjoy doing that and it helps them out. These young folks live some busy lives I'll tell ya that much. When time permits we do have barbecue and build a fire. I'm always planning projects for their yard ! Sometime they agree and we go forward with it. I'm thinking a new fire pit this year. We'll see. Last year I planted grapes but that didn't work out, maybe I'll try it again. Their shed needs some work too ! First I think I'll take a nap in the hammock and give all of that some thought.
 Yes spring is in the air at last. A new season,a change and new opportunities. This year there will be a spring soccer season ! I'm looking forward to that. The little league parade will be soon, followed by other parades and festivals. The spring does draw the community out of hiding and I welcome that. The town awakens.

My chair is ready ! This was before I did the deck.

Words of consequence

 There are times when the things on my mind are things I shouldn't write about. That is because it is often too complicated a subject to address in a few paragraphs. Words are often misconstrued and take on a different meaning altogether. That stems from the fact that I write from my perspective. It is a difficult task to make you see what I see. And so there are times when I feel a little frustrated. My fingers hover above the keyboard and I hesitate. I am torn between just putting it out there and exercising discretion. Is it folly or wisdom ?
 I do believe that there are subjects best left alone. If nothing constructive can reasonably come of it, why do it ? That is the question I face. On the other hand nothing can be accomplished if not attempted. I think it certainly has something to do with your sphere of influence. Is anyone listening ? I may have some " listeners " and that is a wonderful thing, but I don't have national or international influence ! Some do, and some of those don't impress me a bit. But then I realize that everything is subjective. Paying a subject lip service accomplishes nothing. Feigned indignation is something I can easily spot ! It is also something that raises my ire. How about an original thought ?  Is that too much to expect ?
 I do try to say something of value or at least amusing in these blogs. It is my hope that years from now they may be read. When that happens I do wish the person reading can get a sense of who I was/am. Perhaps the great grandchildren or others will " discover " this and it shed light upon the past for them. I do believe we need to understand the past before we can change the future. That is why I find it frustrating to not write about certain topics, a piece is being left out. Should I write about those " forbidden " subjects and leave them unpublished ? That wouldn't accomplish anything other than to satisfy myself. I guess it would be no different than keeping a diary. That is something I have never done and I wonder why people do. My sister tells me she keeps a journal. I haven't asked her about its' contents.
 Our words, whether written or spoken, have consequences. The consequences generally affect only ourselves. Opinions are formed based upon those words. Now you may be the " superior " to another in some fashion and your words affect them, but you will be judged based on those words. If you are not willing to speak your thoughts openly is that an indication of wrong ? What I mean to say is, if you are not willing to say it outloud, should you be saying it at all ? 

Swift and sure

 Justice swift and sure. That is what is missing in the country today. The lawyers are busy filing briefs and litigating but little is accomplished. The primary mission seems to be the accumulation of wealth by those lawyers and payments to the injured. Justice is doled out in dollar bills. The larger the payment, the greater the perceived justice. The battle cry is, you deserve compensation ! I hear that a hundred times a day on the television advertisements. What you don't hear is, the criminals deserve punishment ! You hear more about rehabilitation and social programs for these offenders than anything else.
 I would not deny anyone their day in court and due process. It is just that it takes far too long to reach that day. Years pass before some of these criminals face the judge. And then, when finally faced with judgement, the punishment is unsure. Being held fully accountable for their actions is becoming a thing of the past. Even murder, cold blooded and calculated is being excused. All manner of criminal activity is being allowed and in some cases justified. It is not their fault, they are victims of society.
 I'm not sure why I am even writing this, frustration I suppose. I hear about the trial for the bomber of the Boston marathon. His attorneys are doing their best to save him from the death penalty. There is no doubt about his guilt ! None ! The argument is that he was " influenced " by his older brother. Yes, he probably was but that does not excuse the behavior. How many lives did he " influence " with his bomb ? People killed and maimed for life. He must be held fully accountable. Anything less than that sends a message to others that would commit such acts.
 I'm all for discussion. I'm all for listening to your side of the story. I'm also all for being held accountable. No excuses. If you can present me with a satisfactory reason for doing what you did that is fine, I will consider that. Attempting to fabricate excuses doesn't work with me. All is not black and white that is true. Still there must be an accounting. And it is my belief that that accounting should be swift and sure. 

a message

 Every now and again snippets of poems , lyrics or literature pop into the forefront of my thoughts. As I sat down this morning pondering what to write about this came to mind, " there's no need to wallow in the mire. " The rest of the song didn't enter my thoughts until later on. The rest of the song was unimportant to me. What I was left thinking about about was, just what mire am I stuck in ? The answer is, I am stuck in my own thoughts and emotions. Is this a signal to stop and look around ? It very well could be.
 The words, lyrics and poetry of others are written to express something the writer has felt or experienced. They are explanations. When we connect with those explanations we understand completely. That is why we sometimes get lost in those other worlds, the world of literature, plays, movies or even rock concerts. Living vicariously it is called. Living through another is the simple term. It could very well be that I am living within myself too much. In other words I need to lighten up. I try to guard against taking myself too seriously. It has been my experience that if you don't take yourself too seriously you will not be disappointed. It is a method of self defense. Our feelings of self worth are often fragile, easily damaged. It is in that " mire " that we may get stuck. Self doubt and self pity, and on occasion frustration.
 There is some expectation that is not being met. I believe that is what is happening with me. I do not know what that expectation is however. Another mire ? Just what it is that I require at this time ? Whatever it is, it is not within myself. That is the feeling I get anyway. But the thing is I also know that lasting satisfaction must come from within yourself. External stimuli can provide temporary pleasure but long term comes from within. It just could be that I have somehow disappointed myself. Introspection may be required. On the other hand, " there's no need to wallow in the mire. " Just move along. That's good advice for the most part. I think that is the message I received this morning. 

Champion

 Indoor soccer is over for this year. It is also over for grandpa unless I live to see great grandkids play. My grandson Mark is past the age now. This was the last season of eligibility for him. Oh, where did the time go ? Now it is on to outdoor soccer in the spring. Caroline County has formed a new spring program to help fill in a gap. It will overlap a bit with Baseball but it will work out. The baseball games are played during the week and the soccer will only be on Saturdays.
 Yesterday was tournament day. My grandsons' team had gone undefeated the entire season. They entered that tournament with high hopes and expectations. There coach, my son Kevin, had high hopes as well. This was to be the year. The year he and his team finally win it all. Some of the kids on this team my son has coached since they were five. They have played together and achieved much but never the championship. Things were looking great for this year, the final year.
 It all started well. The team won their first game handily 6-3. They were working together like a well oiled machine. The second game was the championship match. By virtue of their undefeated season they had received the bye. So, fresh off that win they entered the final game of the season and for most of them their final recreational soccer game. Moments before the half the opposition score a goal. It isn't scored in dramatic fashion but a little dribbler that just slips through the hands of the goaltender. Shortly after the start of the second half another goal is scored by the opposition. They are down 2-0 ! The pace of the game quickens and the kids are really battling it out. Then, our team strikes ! Goal ! It is only a one point difference with at least five minutes on the clock. You can feel the renewed determination, by both teams. A flurry of passing and striking at the goal, my team pressing the attack and the opposition defending. It's a real nail biter ! All the parents,grandparents,siblings and friends in the bleachers are on the edge of their seats. The crowd noise rises and falls with each shot and each block. Then it happened. The final whistle. The game, the season is over. My team has finished in second place. Rats ! I had so hoped for that championship for my son and his team but it just wasn't to be. There is nothing one can do but shake hands and smile. There had to be a winner and a loser. It is a hard pill to swallow. Lose one game in an entire season of play and it is the championship game !
 Every year I said, there is always next year. I can't say that this time. I was pleased to see the kids display excellent sportsmanship during that game and following it. I have watched them grow over the years physically and mentally. There are kids on both teams that I have known all these years. Some on the opposition have played with the team that was defeated. They are all classmates after all. It has been a wonderful run with the kids. My son Kevin says his coaching career is over. I don't believe that but we'll see. Mark will try out for high school soccer next year and I expect I'll be going to those games. It will not be as intimate an experience as this recreational soccer was, but that is to be expected. The kids are becoming young men and must find their own way now. That is the nature of things. Call it bragging if you will but I believe my son has done a wonderful job with these kids. They have grown in their skills in soccer, and in life. My son played a role in all of that and that makes him the Champ !
 I'm looking forward to going to the high school games with my son and family. We can all sit together and cheer. That'll be fun. Kevin has always been on the sidelines , it'll be fun to have him by my side in the bleachers ! As for Mark, I'm certain he will make the team. He is an excellent goaltender.

A long way to go

 Once more I enter the breach. I can not help but comment on certain things even when I know I should keep my mouth shut. It is a choice I make. Today is the anniversary of a significant event in American history, a day called bloody Sunday. It is not a day we were taught much about in school, as for me it was a current event, perhaps they teach it now. It is not a day we as Americans should take any pride in. Those involved can take a measure of pride that they showed the resolve to continue on. The effort was certainly worth the gain.
 As I was listening to the news and some interviews with those that were there I was struck by one statement. " We still have a long way to go. " Indeed, mankind does have a long way to go. The statement bothered me in the context that it was being used. The speaker was implying that somehow this minority is still being denied equality. That minority is the African American population. I do not believe that is the case anymore. Does bias and prejudice exist ? Of course it does, it always will. Man will always find some way to separate himself from his fellow man. That is a basic human need. There are those that want to lead. There are those that are convinced they are somehow superior to all others. Whether it is based upon the color of your skin, the money that you have, or the country in which you live, this will be so.
 It is my belief that that those African American leaders that would try to use the color of their skin as an excuse, are doing a disservice to their own cause Equality under the law has been achieved..Is there any position in our society that is being denied under the law to any minority ? The answer is no. Minorities hold every office in the land. Are any minorities being shown bias ? Yes, they are. Thing is, it works both ways, let us not forget that in this discussion.
 The whole deal is a matter of assimilation. There it is, in a nutshell. Unless a minority assimilates to the majority, division exists. Really a simple concept. America is a land of immigrants. We displaced the Natives. The natives held strong to their culture but were ultimately displaced by the influx of the europeans. That being accomplished the Americans formed a nation, a nation of immigrants. All were welcomed as long as they assimilated to the culture. Think the Puritans and others. Those not in compliance with society were ostracized or killed. The color of their skin was not an issue only the compliance to the rules. As time moved forward others immigrated to this land. The hyphenated Americans. You know Italian Americans, Irish Americans and the list goes on. Their goal however was a simple one, to become Americans. They assimilated to the environment and that environment was America ! There goal was to be a part of it all, not an independent faction.
 The matter of the African Americans is a different situation  that is true. It can not be denied that they were brought here against their will. There is no debate concerning the maltreatment they received. All that is in the past however, and I believe equal rights, under the law, has been achieved. All that remains is the desire to assimilate into the society. I'm not saying you should not embrace and celebrate your individual heritage, but that it is imperative to harmonious relations to conform to the current society in which you live. The scholars call it " Cultural Assimilation. " When that speaker said, " we still have a long way to go " there is truth in that statement. Cultural equality can not be achieved unless a willingness to assimilate into the society exists.  Separate but equal ? Yeah, been there, done that. We know that to be wrong ! What is the alternative ?
 Look ,what I'm trying to say in as diplomatic a fashion as possible is simple. Prejudice exists in many forms and always will. Deal with it ! Do not use the mistakes of the past as an excuse for today. Mankind has a long way to go ! Be one that takes those first steps 

with the windows open

 I don't usually talk a whole lot about the weather. It is what it is and we just have to live with it. I suppose working in retail I am suffering from weather burnout. I am hoping this morning is the last blanket of winter. It is all white and very cold. Friday is always a mixed blessing. TGIF but first I have a tractor trailer load of groceries to unload. The loading dock is outdoors ! It does present challenges. The task can usually be accomplished in about an hour and a half. That is a long time when it is ten degrees and you are sixty one years old ! I'd rather I was ten and the temperature sixty one.
 The weather man says we will begin a warming trend. Geez, I'm glad he has all those computers and education to predict that. Spring is coming and it will get warmer, I already knew that. Well, I don't blame them it is tough to just talk about the weather all the time. I can't imagine making my living doing that. I would be the grumpy weather man for sure ! I have little to no patience with the weather. To me the weather is just a topic of polite conversation. You can't change it or control it. I don't find it all that fascinating. Factor in the fact that as a weatherman people always make fun of you. Some even call you a liar ! Meteorologists are not thought of as being correct.
 I am looking forward to that brief period in time when I can throw the windows open. That time when it is not too hot nor too cold. I do live close to the main street and so traffic noise can become bothersome. I do get up early and that is when it is best. I love hearing the birds chirping in the early morning light. I like when I can hear the rain and feel a breeze. Yes, living with the windows open is the way to go for me. I am fortunate to live in Greensboro where it is still possible to do so. The threat of home invasion is very low here. I can still feel safe with just a screen between me and the outside world. I would hate to live somewhere where that wouldn't be possible. And I wouldn't want to live in a skyscraper. The second floor, where I now live, is high enough thank you. When I was growing up we didn't even lock the doors. At least I don't remember ever locking the door. maybe Mom did that. I know the windows remained open throughout spring and summer, no air conditioning in my house. not even a window unit.
 Hopefully this is the last blast of winter. I grow weary of the cold but wouldn't want to go without it either. I do enjoy the change in the seasons. It is just sometimes they could change a little faster. I mean winter could be like two months and that would be enough. Spring and Fall could be a little longer. I think summer here is just about right. Right now I am looking forward to life with the windows open. Just a couple more weeks of warming and it should be alright. They say it is darkest before the dawn so it must also be coldest before the warmth ! Well, that didn't really work but you get the idea. I can't wait to throw open those windows and let the fresh air in.  

Nine Justices, four little words

 The supreme court is arguing about semantics ! Semantics, one of my favorite topics. In oral arguments the solicitors are trying to convince the supreme court just what the meaning of a certain four words in the affordable care act actually mean. At least one of the esteemed judges has already stated that he doesn't think the intent of Congress was to deny anyone the subsidy. The language seems clear enough to me though, it says " through a state exchange. " If you acquire Obamacare through a state exchange you are entitled to a subsidy if you can not afford the coverage. It does not address what happens if you acquire that same coverage through a federal exchange. And therein lies the issue of semantics. Did the congress when passing this bit of legislation intend to punish those people that did not acquire coverage through a state exchange ? Was this an attempt, by congress, to coerce individual states into establishing these exchanges to satisfy the political agenda of the Democratic party and the President ? Or was it a simple case of semantics ? That is the real question being asked here, make no mistake about that. That is why the court is divided so sharply on this issue. So what the court intends to rule upon is intent !
 Well, isn't that something. We now have one branch of government ruling upon the intentions of the other. The lawyers arguing over semantics. Semantics being used to mask the intentions of a written piece of legislation. A piece that being read by anyone with an understanding of the english language makes perfectly clear, through a state exchange. Where in that statement does it say federal government ? How do you get federal government out of that ? You start by saying the " state " is the federal government. Yes, we often say exactly that when we speak of the government as a whole. The thing is, in this situation, it is clearly the individual states that are being addressed. That is plain because whereas the federal government may indeed mandate health care coverage for every citizen, questionable on its' own grounds, the government cannot force individual states to establish health care exchanges ! Thirty four states choose to not do so in fact.
 So let me see if I have this right. The government decides every citizen must purchase health care coverage. If they do not have healthcare coverage of any kind they will be fined. If they cannot afford healthcare coverage the government will provide a subsidy if, and this is important, you purchase it through a state exchange ! If your state does not have an exchange you are not eligible for the subsidy.
 Now I am a member of congress and I have to vote on this legislation. Is this requirement for a state sponsored healthcare exchange, basically a partnership with insurance companies, being forced upon me ? If I do not agree with it the citizens of my state will not receive a subsidy should they need it. Ah, what to do.
 Well the ruling party got this bit of legislation passed. This requirement was obviously overlooked by many in congress before it was signed. Or was it ? Is that what the congress intended ? But not congress really, by the party that drafted the legislation. Was this little provision an attempt to force those politicians that may disagree with the ruling party to comply ? Is that why those four words were not brought to the forefront of the discussion during the voting on the legislation ? Seems a bit far fetched to me, a little too much of a conspiracy. I do believe it was an oversight but an oversight that has caused a big problem. The ruling by the supreme court could affect the entire legislation. Those subsidies may have to stop ! If they do there will be those that can no longer afford healthcare coverage ! Never mind about those that can't afford it because there state didn't establish a healthcare exchange and therefore cannot receive a subsidy. A subsidy there tax dollars are funding ! That's right. I'm paying for your subsidy because you can not afford the coverage while I do not have coverage, receive an additional fine from the government for not having it because I am not eligible for the subsidy ! Now that is a plan !!!
 Well, the supreme court will rule. Does the word State mean state ? What was the intent ? Intent is not the issue here, just read the words ! Nine Justices and four little words. Lawyers one and all. Gotta love it. 

Tears

 We should remember in sorrow and grief that tears nourish the soul. Just as the rain rejuvenates the earth and brings new life, so too tears. We may not like the tears but they are necessary. We must remember also, that too many, for too long, are detrimental. It is essential for growth that tears fall but just as essential is the sunshine. It is in that sunshine that truth and beauty are revealed to us. Whether it is the beauty of a blooming rose or the truth of mortality. Both are an awakening. New life.
 For many years I was told, and believed, that men don't cry. Crying was a sign of weakness and uncertainty. Crying is for women and the weak ! That lesson has been ingrained in my conscience. It is a part of me. Even though it has been revealed to not be the truth , the lesson remains. Old habits die hard. So too, does the image you have of yourself. Allowing yourself to modify your core values and beliefs is not an easy transition. Growing pains continue throughout our entire lives, if we allow growth. And that is key, is it not ? The allowance of growth. We must allow ourselves the pain, to experience the growth. Conversely we must not allow that same pain to inhibit our growth.
 When the tears and lamentations cease it is time to listen. It is in silence that we learn. It is in silence that we grow. It is only through self examination that the truth is revealed to us. We must learn for ourselves. Words of consolation may ease our pain. The path may be revealed in this manner but you must take that path. And it is a path you must walk alone.
 These are my thoughts. The older we become, the longer we have lived. Longevity should provide a measure of wisdom. As the years pass our losses become greater and more frequent. The loss of loved ones, friends and family. Their absence creates uncertainty. Their departure fills our minds with questions. The only answers to those questions however require faith. Faith in yourself and faith in your God. And that faith resides in your soul. The soul requires nourishment and so tears are provided and they come easily. It is the sunshine that we seek. That is the nature of man. We were born in the garden after all. We are subject to nature. We must remember that the rain is followed by sunshine. There is a light and that light is our goal. Do not become lost in the darkness, seek the light. It is not wrong to do so, no matter how deep the grief. Allow yourself to grow and accept the truth as revealed to you.
 “Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” 
― Rumi

 I included this quote because I do not believe I can say it any better. I hope someone reads this and finds some comfort in the words.