Monday, January 5, 2015

It's complicated

I was on Facebook,as usual, and happened to notice someones status change. They are now " in a relationship. " I know this younger person quite well and so it struck me funny. It caused me to consider that little phrase. I began to consider just what that meant. Was it going steady ? I asked around a bit and discovered that girls don't " go steady " anymore. Apparently they enter a relationship. Was this change a result of Facebook ? Maybe it had something to do with tweeting ?
I suppose it is all just a matter of what is cool. I grew up in the time of class rings and ID bracelets.You asked a girl to be your steady, then she wore your ring or bracelet as a symbol. Now I think you just post that information on social media ! I'm in a relationship ! Sounds grown up. Is that the underlying motivation behind this  ? I would think so, kids haven't changed much. In a hurry to be grown.
All of that adolescent stuff is, of course, many years in my past. I am not familiar with what the kids do nowadays, the social protocol as it were. Do you enter these " relationships " online or in person ? What is the correct way ? Do I ask you to " be in a relationship " and then post the results ? That would seem to be right to me. For the guy anyway, might just as well get used to asking for permission  ! LOL The bigger question for me would have to be, just what " relationship " is being implied here ? I understand " going steady " alright, is this the same principe ? I don't think it is. I think that is dependant upon the individuals and their age groups and previous " relationships. "  All I know for sure was I was told to not have " relations " before I got married ! Those relations were children ! And to avoid having Children you didn't have relations ! Got it ? I understood the message. I do remember some years back hearing about a " promise " ring. I'm not sure exactly what you were promising with that ring but I think it was like going steady. I assume you promised to be faithful and true. I didn't need any ring to make that promise ! From what I heard it was a step up from a going steady ring but not quite engaged. Sorta I promise to get engaged at some future point in time. I'm thinking that ring came with benefits. I could be wrong. These courting rituals can be confusing or misleading.
Posting your " relationship status " on social media is a good thing I suppose. That is as long as everyone else respects those boundaries. I wonder though if those status updates do not attract more attention than deter it. I, for one, do not place a whole lot of stock in their validity. Yes, I think that some are less than honest in their profiles. It is a global market these days and so I expect things needed to change. The old class ring could not be seen by all, only the local crowd. The choices have expanded ! Will we one day have to " label " our relationships with one another ? I mean, you could check my friends list and see the listed relationship between myself and anyone on that list ? Now that could cause some friction.
The bottom line in all of this is personal contact. We still require that personal contact, and by that I mean, face to face actual physical contact. Well, not touching each other contact, unless of course you are in a relationship, but being in the same space with that person. Not cyberspace, real space. I'm glad I'm not a teenager in love. I would be asking that question, " why must I be a teenager in love ? " That is why one of the choices listed in the " relationship " category is " it's complicated. "
It wasn't all that complicated when I was a kid. I asked, she said no ! I moved on. LOL

  

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