I have a grandchild that lives away. She does come to visit on holidays and such and we talk on the phone. The thing is, she is away. When I was growing up all my family lived in the same town. Not that I knew many of my cousins, I didn't, but they were around. This long distance grandparenting stinks. I'm afraid I'm not very good at it either. Distance and distant, one and the same. I will say we are not as distant as we could be, and for that I am grateful. Still, we do not have the closeness I enjoy with my other grandchildren. These thoughts surfaced because her birthday is coming up. Shyann will be eleven on the 10th.
I would say that I am familiar with her, but don't know her. I know about her and there is a difference. The difference may be subtle, but I'm sure you understand. As I said, she is from away. Now that is a phrase from my youth, a saying if you will. It is part of a dialect that is slowly being lost. I will continue in it's use. The point is, she is not close by, so her birthday gift and card must be mailed. I was wondering what to send her. In the end I have decided upon money in a card. That is what prompted these thoughts. Money in a card. Seems impersonal. That is what is bothering me. I don't know her personally. Just a fact of life and one that can not be immediately changed, nor should it be. I believe in stability. The status quo some might say. I do believe that stability is the most important factor in childhood development. Knowing what to expect and what is expected. I do not know her well enough to know what she expects; from me. What I mean by that is, we have not shared enough time together to become familiar with each other. When she visits it is more like having a guest. It is not a normal situation. I would say I am more tolerant and forgiving and less grandparental, if that is a word. Neither of us are ourselves.
In the selection of a gift that familiarity is essential. I firmly believe it is not the cost of the gift but the thought behind it that matters. Knowing the other person well enough to surprise them with something that they will enjoy is the key. They may not know what they want,that is your job. Having others just tell you what they think doesn't work all that well either. Then they are receiving a gift from them,with your name on it ! See my point ?
Well this is just one of those things in life. You can't have it all. You can pretend that you do, but reality speaks loudly. Not everything that displeases you needs be changed to suit you. There are things that should just be left to it's natural course. Relationships, of any kind, fall into that category. They can not be formed or forced. Anything less that genuine, is not ! I would prefer Shyann a little closer but that is not my choice. She is where she should be, with Mom and Dad. Lucky girl, many can not say the same. And she can come visit with Grandpa and Grandma anytime she likes. Maybe when she gets older she will do that,on her own,as an adventure. I have heard of kids doing that or is that a thing of the past ? In the world today one would have to have concerns. Doris Day would sing, que sera,sera, whatever will be, will be. Doesn't mean you have to like it.
I would say that I am familiar with her, but don't know her. I know about her and there is a difference. The difference may be subtle, but I'm sure you understand. As I said, she is from away. Now that is a phrase from my youth, a saying if you will. It is part of a dialect that is slowly being lost. I will continue in it's use. The point is, she is not close by, so her birthday gift and card must be mailed. I was wondering what to send her. In the end I have decided upon money in a card. That is what prompted these thoughts. Money in a card. Seems impersonal. That is what is bothering me. I don't know her personally. Just a fact of life and one that can not be immediately changed, nor should it be. I believe in stability. The status quo some might say. I do believe that stability is the most important factor in childhood development. Knowing what to expect and what is expected. I do not know her well enough to know what she expects; from me. What I mean by that is, we have not shared enough time together to become familiar with each other. When she visits it is more like having a guest. It is not a normal situation. I would say I am more tolerant and forgiving and less grandparental, if that is a word. Neither of us are ourselves.
In the selection of a gift that familiarity is essential. I firmly believe it is not the cost of the gift but the thought behind it that matters. Knowing the other person well enough to surprise them with something that they will enjoy is the key. They may not know what they want,that is your job. Having others just tell you what they think doesn't work all that well either. Then they are receiving a gift from them,with your name on it ! See my point ?
Well this is just one of those things in life. You can't have it all. You can pretend that you do, but reality speaks loudly. Not everything that displeases you needs be changed to suit you. There are things that should just be left to it's natural course. Relationships, of any kind, fall into that category. They can not be formed or forced. Anything less that genuine, is not ! I would prefer Shyann a little closer but that is not my choice. She is where she should be, with Mom and Dad. Lucky girl, many can not say the same. And she can come visit with Grandpa and Grandma anytime she likes. Maybe when she gets older she will do that,on her own,as an adventure. I have heard of kids doing that or is that a thing of the past ? In the world today one would have to have concerns. Doris Day would sing, que sera,sera, whatever will be, will be. Doesn't mean you have to like it.
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