Wednesday, September 17, 2014

It's Personal

I was chatting it up with a friend the other day about antiques. Well, not really antiques, more like family heirlooms. At least that is what they are to us, but to other,antiques. There is a big difference between the two. These antiques or heirlooms may or may not have monetary value. That part of it doesn't enter the equation. Were I to have ones that were, that thinking may change. The few that I do possess only have sentimental value. They are important to me because I can connect them to an individual. That is what makes them valuable to me, that connection. To others they are curiosities. Just old stuff from the past.
I was speculating that perhaps fewer of these little artifacts from the past will  be saved. I think this is a result of a transient population. We are far more mobile today than in years past, that can not be denied. When we move we have a tendency to " clean out " stuff. It is this stuff that family heirlooms are made of. The survivors ! They may be an old photograph or just a scrap of paper,seemingly unimportant at the time. An example of this is I have a postcard,mailed by my grandmother to her father. It is just a postcard,nothing more. How or why it has survived for nearly ninety years is a mystery. Apparently, that little card was important to Great Grandfather as he saved it. Is that because that same little girl, my grandmother, his daughter, passed away when she was only twenty three ? Could be, but she sent the card when she was ten. The card does say, " Dear Papa " and perhaps that is the connection great grandfather felt. That was his little girl after all.
At least three generations lived in great grandfathers house. The house was originally the property of James Terry, civil war veteran, and father to Lucy. Lucy is my great grandmother. She lived there her whole life and in fact passed away in the parlor in 1958. I can remember seeing her bed in there, all made up. It stayed there until great grandfather moved out of the house. That was not a choice he made willingly, but was forced upon him. Ah, but that is family history. How many heirlooms were lost in that move ? Far too many to even consider. Much of his belongings, the larger more obvious historical items, were donated to the local museum. I am grateful for that. All the little things however, those scraps of the past, gone. Had great grandfather not moved and the next generation still lived there would these items have survived ? It is a good possibility.
It is these small personal items that provide me with the most comfort. And I choose the word comfort with an awareness. I am aware that is what I feel with these things around me. I feel the connections to the past. You can not purchase those types of items. You also can not know what items of yours may become an heirloom to another. While you're alive you may suggest things by your actions. I'm writing, in cursive, in a journal for each of the grandkids. Will these journals be a treasured heirloom to them ? I can't be sure, they may choose another item. Can you create an heirloom ? I don't think so. Take that postcard, it was written and mailed a good forty years before I was born ! To great grandfather is was a memory, to me an heirloom. Same thing,different name.
I think family heirlooms are the binding tie. I think they are important to have around us. They are reminders. With all this moving about in modern times these ties are being severed. Our connections to the past, our families past, are being left behind. Are we forgetting, " the roots of our raising " as Merle Haggard put it. Each of us impact those we touch. Whether we do it directly or indirectly, we do alter their perspective. When I hold great grandmothers Bible I feel a connection to her. It was the Bible she held and read every day. The pages are dog eared and notes scribbled in the margins. This was a working Bible ! I'm sure great grandmother held me in her arms at some point and strangely I feel that touch. I was five when she passed and have no direct memory of her. I do have that connection however. These are the things heirlooms are made of. Personal. And that is the difference between an antique and an heirloom. With an heirloom, it's personal. 

No comments:

Post a Comment