Do you get it ?

What about tipping ? Mandatory or not ? Or is it a social obligation ? An " entitlement ? " Completely discretionary ? What is your view ? Me, I subscribe to the true definition of the term Gratuity. A gratuity is a gift of cash. A gift, not an obligation. The choice is mine. Social convention dictates I leave a certain amount but I do not have to comply. Should I become an object of ridicule for my failure to comply ? I believe I risk that by my failure to " gift " the server. Human nature and all that. To expect otherwise is unrealistic. No different than attending a birthday party and not bringing a gift. If I accept that invitation I accept that social obligation /expectation as well. There is a difference however with a service being provided. It is the obligation of the server to provide a service that exceeds my expectations. In doing so I will gift you a sum of money. A business transaction. That business transaction holds no social obligation beyond what is expected of me. To expect a tip,a gift, is a bit presumptuous in my opinion. A bit like asking for a compliment. Is that compliment then genuine ? Expecting or demanding a tip removes the integrity of the gift. It also removes your own integrity.
I entered this discussion as a result of a posting on Facebook. Apparently a football player Lesean McCoy and some friends had lunch at a burger joint in Philadelphia. He left a twenty cent tip due to poor service. The bill was sixty one dollars. He has not directly responded but people close to him say he was extremely unhappy with the service. The owner of the burger joint posted his tab and charged him with being a cheapskate. And now I read that Charlie Sheen,yeah that Charlie Sheen, has promised the server a thousand dollar tip. The big complaint I have been hearing is that Mr. McCoy is a wealthy young player. So, if you are wealthy you have to " gift " your money whether you like it or not ? If I am wealthy a gratuity is now required of me ? Should I be obligated to give a certain percentage of my net worth ? It sounds more like a stunt to gain some publicity, at least locally, for your burger joint.
My take is this, I will normally leave a tip. The service would have to be pretty bad to not warrant something. I have had servers where I did not leave anything. Whether I was just having a bad day or your service was poor is not the issue. It was my decision,my choice and my money. Demanding a tip and complaining publicly when one is not offered is the same thinking that gives every child a medal. It is now wrong to give the one child a " medal " or " gold star " without giving everyone in the class one too. It devalues the whole thing. If, as a server, you can't handle not receiving a " gift " each time, don't take the job. Do your job well, and do it for the sake of the job, for personal integrity. Be proud of your work and rewards will come. Demanding rewards is just like demanding respect, you won't get it !