The other day a former classmate of mine posted her thought on Facebook. I love reading the thoughts of others,when they are sincere and thought provoking. I believe this posting was both. To paraphrase a portion of what she said, " There are so many variations of friendships and relationships we should not try to change or mold others to suit our own personal preferences or desires but instead should accept others as they are and have them remain in our lives in their own categories of friendship or relationship. " The truth in those words are obvious. My immediate response was, " friendship is measured in trust. " Her statement of fact inspired that reaction or more properly revelation. With her generous permission I use her thoughts as a basis for this blog posting.
There are indeed many variations in friendships and relationships and each is based upon a level of trust. The degree of trust defines that friendship or relationship. It also dependent on the individuals' ability to place that trust in others. Those that easily trust others are often disappointed, and those that withhold that trust lonely. It is a difficult balancing act. As we grow, as humans, the extension of our trust is influenced by the events in our lives. Broken hearts and broken trust, one and the same. Emotional scars can impede our ability to trust. So in reality it is the withholding of trust that effects future relationships, We control our friendships and relationships and must find the level that is comfortable for us. To try to change or mold others to this, our own life experience, is not a realistic approach. In order to gain trust we must first trust ourselves. We must be confident in our ability to know when to extend that trust and when to withhold. Personal responsibility is the key.
We should periodically take inventory of our emotions. A thorough self examination. Are we allowing a broken trust to close the road to future relationships ? Are we denying ourselves that opportunity ? The saying is nothing ventured,nothing gained and that rings true. Consider a child, how quickly they trust and the happiness they gain, if only for a few hours on the playground. A child grasps at every opportunity. We know that is not a safe approach and we should temper our decisions with discretion. That does not mean we shouldn't extend a measure of trust to everyone we meet. We should. I'm not saying go " all in, " quite the contrary. Trust must be earned.
Love is the ultimate display of trust. Love cannot exist without it. Trust, however, can exist without love. Trust is not dependent upon that condition. Failed relationships can be explained in that way. Love does not die but trust can erode. There are times when the two get confused in our minds. We need to sort that out in order to move ahead. Love at first sight ? I think not. Placing all your trust in someone in the hopes of some fulfillment on your part ? Perhaps that is so. Beauty can overwhelm the senses. And beauty can come from many sources, not just the physical.
Often it is the reading of words that finalize the thought. What I mean to say is, you are aware of this thought or concept, yet remained uncommitted until you read it. Somehow the reading of the words revealed the truth. The removal of uncertainty replaced by trust.
There are indeed many variations in friendships and relationships and each is based upon a level of trust. The degree of trust defines that friendship or relationship. It also dependent on the individuals' ability to place that trust in others. Those that easily trust others are often disappointed, and those that withhold that trust lonely. It is a difficult balancing act. As we grow, as humans, the extension of our trust is influenced by the events in our lives. Broken hearts and broken trust, one and the same. Emotional scars can impede our ability to trust. So in reality it is the withholding of trust that effects future relationships, We control our friendships and relationships and must find the level that is comfortable for us. To try to change or mold others to this, our own life experience, is not a realistic approach. In order to gain trust we must first trust ourselves. We must be confident in our ability to know when to extend that trust and when to withhold. Personal responsibility is the key.
We should periodically take inventory of our emotions. A thorough self examination. Are we allowing a broken trust to close the road to future relationships ? Are we denying ourselves that opportunity ? The saying is nothing ventured,nothing gained and that rings true. Consider a child, how quickly they trust and the happiness they gain, if only for a few hours on the playground. A child grasps at every opportunity. We know that is not a safe approach and we should temper our decisions with discretion. That does not mean we shouldn't extend a measure of trust to everyone we meet. We should. I'm not saying go " all in, " quite the contrary. Trust must be earned.
Love is the ultimate display of trust. Love cannot exist without it. Trust, however, can exist without love. Trust is not dependent upon that condition. Failed relationships can be explained in that way. Love does not die but trust can erode. There are times when the two get confused in our minds. We need to sort that out in order to move ahead. Love at first sight ? I think not. Placing all your trust in someone in the hopes of some fulfillment on your part ? Perhaps that is so. Beauty can overwhelm the senses. And beauty can come from many sources, not just the physical.
Often it is the reading of words that finalize the thought. What I mean to say is, you are aware of this thought or concept, yet remained uncommitted until you read it. Somehow the reading of the words revealed the truth. The removal of uncertainty replaced by trust.
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