Seasoning the Soul

The beach in the fall. The beach takes on a different feel when the temperatures drop. The breeze off the water no longer comforting, but biting. The sand feels firmer beneath your feet and there is a silence. Echoes of summer can be heard. The seagulls are lonely and circle about. There is a stillness in the air.
I have always enjoyed the beach in fall and winter. I like the absence of crowds. The solitude is good for the soul. To commune with the water,whether bay or ocean, gives me comfort. I am aware my ancestors sailed these very waters and I wonder how they felt ? Did they too look out upon the water in wonder ? The sea both friend and foe. It can provide great bounty or take it all away. To gaze upon the sea in storm, is to see the fury of nature. The white caps and churning waves menacing in their anger. Yet, it is a beautiful sight to behold. A contradiction.
I no longer live close to the sea and at times I miss that. Walking on the beach in fall and winter is something that is done on a whim or fancy. To drive an hour or more to do that detracts from the experience. By the time I arrive the feeling is gone. It is always best when you can react to your moods without restraint or planning. The spontaneity in life, seasons your soul.
It may seem strange to some but a stroll through the cemetery can come close to the experience. When the air is chilly and the grass is losing its' luster. There are echoes there too, echoes of the past. I do not find the cemetery a place of sadness but rather a place of hope. Just as the waves whisper to me of solitude and silence, so too the stones.
I took just such a walk yesterday. I was inspired to write a verse and take some photos. Soon the ground may be covered and the world take on a different view. I welcome the change, the continuation of life. We should all take a walk now and again. Walk wherever your soul takes you and be refreshed. If more of us did that, the world would be a better place. 

A time to relax

In a few days it will be October. The summer is long past by October, at least it always seemed that way when I was growing up. The leaves would be off the trees and a brisk wind blowing. Halloween was on our minds and the promise of snow. Geez, October was winter. Not according to the calendar but according to our internal clock it was. Raking up the leaves and burning them was last months job, that was past. Time to get out the scallop dredges and check that gear. I would start to look for my long clam rake. It usually sat gathering dust and rust in the corner of the basement. It wouldn't be long before I could head down to Napeauge and scratch up a mess of them long clams. Steamed clams, dipped in melted butter, on a cold day. Don't get much better than that.
I had been back in school almost a month by October. Back in the swing of things and the daily grind. School, homework and waiting for the weekend. Football was being played. Soccer wasn't on the list. Soccer was something we played in Gym class. No one I knew took that game seriously. Football now that was serious business. I never played the game. Never really had an interest. I wasn't what you would call a burly kid in high school and thought it best to avoid that game. Just seemed like a practical choice on my part. Would have been great to be a football hero, but I didn't feel it worth the risk to my body. No I'll leave the hero business to someone else.
My sisters birthday is in October. In our family, hers was the last of the year. No more birthday cakes until my birthday,all the way in July ! Everyone else was in September. All the cakes came in quick succession. Really in about a six week period. Then nine months till mine ! Odd man out,again. The thing was though I always got cool things for my birthday. Summer toys are far cooler than winter toys. One year I even got a large plastic boat ! Now how cool was that ? Came with two oars and I paddled that around for a long time. It was definitely a cool summer toy but didn't last through the winter. I tried using it as a sled. The combination of the cold and hitting large bumps put a large crack in the hull. It was fun for a while. Wouldn't have happened if there was a hill of water ! Stupid snow. Frozen water won't float a boat. Live and learn.
Now I don't have much to look forward to in October. Even the Grandkids are growing out of Halloween. They are at the point where they go more because it is expected of them, than for themselves. I'm thinking I will decorate for fall and include a few Halloween items. Time to pack the things of summer. I do enjoy seeing the mums and cornstalks. Hay bales always make me smile. And in the fall I think of those checked flannel shirts. You know the ones. The ones you wear as a jacket. Red and black checks come to mind. A comforting thought. Everyone wore them back in the day. Still see them occasionally. Just like old friends.
And like old friends they are welcome and warm the soul. Maybe that is the reason they are so popular. They warm you heart and soul, like Campbell soup. Now I want Tomato soup and Grilled Cheese. Can a big pot of vegetable beef soup be far behind ? And home made bread. The summer has been hectic and it is time to relax.That is what October is for. Business is gonna pick up, again real soon !

My World

In our little worlds. That is where all of us live. Some of us control the number and quality of those entering our world and some do not. How well do you protect and defend the border ? I keep the fences up most of the time. Years ago that wasn't always so. There were influences that caused breaches in this security. Some would label them bad habits. Others would call them adventures. The validity of both statements could be defended. I am open to new things and ideas, but am cautious in their adoption. Visitors in my world haven't always been good guests. Some have done significant damage.
Is it prejudice when you reject certain things based on past experience ? No, it is not. That is called wisdom. And wisdom is different for each of us. There are very few constants in this world. What is acceptable to you may offend me. It is this insistence that you conform to my ideals that leads to strife. I find it best to not allow that to enter my borders. An isolationist attitude ? Some would say so, but I don't feel that way. I think it is more of a pick and choose attitude. I don't condemn your choices  and you don't condemn mine. I have no expectation that you will agree with me. I may, no I will, tell you my thoughts and opinions. That is just in my nature. I love to talk and discuss. Some feel I talk too much. I am aware of that but it is what it is. Some feel I'm opinionated. Guilty as charged. Having an opinion however, is not a bad thing. Insisting others agree with your opinion is wrong. It is the difference between discussion and argument. I seldom argue, just discuss.
There was an episode on Seinfeld, if you are familiar with that show, that explored this idea of worlds. On the show , of course, it was humorous. The basis for most humor is" uncomfortable realities." That is how we deal with those things that are uncomfortable to us, we try to laugh them off. What else can you do ? You can't rally against everything that doesn't fit into your little world. You would never have any peace. Best to laugh it off, if it is not significant. Those things that have no direct impact on you are best left alone. The ones it effect can deal with that.
Here it comes, my opinion. The problem we have today is more and more people defending the borders of their worlds with hostility. They live, in what appears to me, hostile environments. They don't discuss, they insist they are correct. Instead of defending their position with wisdom and reason, they defend with anger. A lack of calm in the face of adversity. The prevailing attitude I perceive is one of veiled hostility. It takes very little to arouse the anger of these people. The attitude is one of somehow they are being cheated or denied. Frustration is an apt description I would say. A building tension in society as a whole.
These are the observations from my little world. I am very much aware of the outside world. I am increasingly becoming wary,as well. The separation between awareness and wary is a fine line. Paranoia is a easy world to enter. Laughter blocks the entrance to that world. So my advice is, lighten up, have a good laugh. Life isn't all that serious a business. 

Which Tribe ?

I hear the resentment and anger in the voices of the people. I hear their complaints and feel their pain. The object of this attention and discontent is their home. The town were they were born and raised. The ground of their roots. They feel an affinity to this land. This is the land of their ancestors. Land that should be theirs, by birthright. But the land has been sold. The land is in the hands of outsiders. These outsiders have no connection to the past and only build for the future. They have no regard for the things of the past. To them, those things are just objects of curiosity to be admired or dismissed, as is convenient. I am well aware of this, as this land was once my home as well.
It is an age old story. One that has been repeated many times. Desirable land being obtained either by conquest or purchase. The land is the one constant. It is the thing that is in limited supply. Valuable to all. In this case the land was obtained by purchase. The " rich " white man having objects of great value to trade. Tools to ease their work and make it faster. Warm blankets and beads. And so the Natives sold the land. To them however, the only sale was they would allow the white man to live there unmolested. Sounded like a great deal, they got the goods and the white man could live there. What did that cost them ? Plenty of land to go around. The natives gained material wealth ! They remained fairly well pleased until the reality of what they had done became evident. Before long they were living on land that wasn't so desirable. Land, in fact, that the white man now allowed them to live upon. They became dependent upon the white man for their very existence. Soon their numbers dwindled to only a few. A few holding onto the past and trying to preserve it. The last of the tribe.
It is a story we all know. It is with great sadness that I watched some of this story unfold before me. The only difference being I was the Native and the white men are the wealthy ones. Now I hear of low income housing and land plots allocated by government regulation. Designated areas for the poor natives. Sounds suspiciously like a reservation to me. There was a day when I longed to return to this land, but no more. I will not live upon the reservation. It would take great material wealth to do otherwise, and I am not in that position. The tribe no longer owns the land. The outsiders have purchased it. Once again the land was sold for material wealth. Those doing the selling justifying it with various arguments. Some valid,some imaginary.
The upside of all this is that I now have empathy for those effected by this cycle. Right here in Greensboro land is being bought and sold to the outsiders. The outsiders are building housing developments to bring in more outsiders. They come to live with the scenic beauty and serenity of these surroundings. They will, for a while. That is until the outsiders start demanding more shopping,theaters and entertainment venues. The land will be transformed to resemble the land of the outsiders. Sound familiar ? Yeah, it happens. Nothing stays the same but some things never change. A paradox. The world keeps turning.

Bib and tucker

I'm watching the evening news and they were showing scenes from a funeral. It was a touching memorial service for a fallen firefighter. The cathedral was filled to capacity and a thousand more waited outside. As they showed the flag draped coffin being loaded into the hearse I noticed some of the pallbearers were wearing what appeared to be fatigues. I thought that to be a bit casual. I don't know about anyone else but when I go I want to be dressed up. My faith tells me I'm about to meet the Lord, and I want to make a good impression ! I expect those sending me off to be at least as well dressed as I am ! It is just a personal thing but one I find disrespectful and uncouth. I feel a funeral is a formal affair. I may have come into this world naked, but not going out that way. Those sending me off should be dressed accordingly.
I have mentioned this before. I live across the street from the funeral home and see many mourners coming and going. As a general rule the twenty to thirty somethings dress pretty darn casual and the older ones in more formal attire. I expect it is a generational thing. Well, attending a funeral is not a casual outing in the park. I know they call it a " celebration of life " nowadays but the fact is, the person is dead. Simple truth. I'm hoping no one celebrates when I'm gone. I like to think I will be missed and that some sadness is expressed. Just as in the old George Jones song, I'll be all dressed up to go away, please dress accordingly.
When I see the mourners dressed so casually I can't help but think they stopped by as an afterthought. They look like they were on the way to another event. I wouldn't wear shorts and a tee shirt to church,why would I wear that to a funeral ? I wonder if they feel it to be an inconvenience, to dress properly ? It is not too convenient for the deceased either !
Clothes make the man. We have all read that story. The moral in the story holds a lot of truth. When I attend a funeral I show my respect to the deceased and his family by dressing appropriately. I was taught this by my mother. Others will judge you by your appearance and I want mine to show respect. Putting on my best " bib and tucker " is the least I can do. 

Falling Prey

You can call it spying, but I call it tracking. I'm being hunted. My habits are being studied and the bait is being offered. I see it on the sidebar of my Facebook page every day. Targeted advertisement they call it. Advertisement that has been refined and narrowed to a specific demographic; me. My interests, however fleeting, are being monitored.
My interests are rather ordinary and mundane. I like cars, music, politics and history. I do wander around a bit on this world wide web but am careful of the neighborhoods I visit. Just as in real life, there are dangerous and unseemly areas. There are those that prey upon the unwary. The best advice is not to tempt fate but avoid that situation altogether. If you wouldn't go somewhere with your wife and children, you probably shouldn't go there at all. Someone is watching ! But even that is not the point. It shouldn't matter if anyone is watching or not. If you conduct yourself in a moral and responsible fashion, that isn't an issue.
The whole point of the sidebar advertising is the same as any other. To get you to purchase a product or support a cause. Money is the target. To get you to " buy " whether it be a material object or an idea. I buy very little, whether online or off. Call me a skeptic, or call me cheap but I just don't buy a whole lotta stuff.
I am more of an admirer. I like to look and discuss. I do find it interesting to figure out the angle. The latest one showing up on the sidebar is for Freelance Writers. Apparently there is a high demand for freelance writers and there are those willing to just throw money at you for doing it. According to the ad I could retire from my regular job and just write. No need for experience or training, no sir. Just accept the assignments and collect big rewards. Joe from Arizona did it, and now lives in a mansion. No stress, no worries, just sit back and write. I haven't clicked on the link to find out but I wonder how much that would cost me ? I'm not that curious though.
Whoever analyzes my viewing habits and decides which ads should go on there must be scratching their head. I often look things up for my blog writing and for my wife. One minute I'm looking at a speech from President Kennedy and the next I'm looking up a crochet pattern. Then I'm on You Tube. Might be listening to just about anything on there or watching videos. Shaolin Monks to Hank Williams Sr. And then my Grandson and Granddaughter get on here too. Morgan watching dance videos and Mark watching soccer or some new song about what a Fox says. It must keep'em guessing.
I expect a computer program somewhere keeps track of all this stuff. They must have a formula of some type to determine what to put on there. They do get my attention every now and again and I suppose that is there purpose. The effectiveness of these ads are questionable. Perhaps to others they prove irresistible. If I had a large amount of disposable income there effectiveness may indeed be greater. I can't be sure about that. I'll have to wait for that to happen first.
When I was a Navy Recruiter we were sent to school to learn the basics of selling a product,any product. The instructor told us we would never look at a sales pitch the same again. He was right. I learned the five steps to a sale and have never forgotten them. They are 1) conversation. Just start a conversation. 2) curiosity. Make them curious about your product or service. 3) conviction. Speak with conviction about your product. Use phrases like, you can,you will. 4) desire. Make them want the product. They have to have it. They need it. This product will improve there life. 5) close. Make the deal, quickly and firmly. Stay excited for them. You must act now !
Remember these steps when you encounter a salesman and you can stay prepared. These steps expose the plot. Be aware. You are being hunted !

A Loss of Innocence

So I'm sitting back and relaxing,watching the old boob tube,when an advertisement comes on. It catches my attention with it's flash and increase in volume. They are advertising a new movie apparently about racing cars. It is directed by Ron Howard. Supposed to be a real thriller,filled with action, intrigue and sex ! It is rated " R ". What ? Opie is now making R rated movies ! Just what would Aunt Bee have to say about that ! The world really has turned upside down. I'm not really a movie aficionado so maybe this isn't the first R rated movie he has directed, but the first I am aware of. Strangely, I found it a bit shocking. I guess we just form opinions about certain people based on assumptions. I think of Ron Howard as Opie and later on, Richie Cunningham. Both good, clean cut, all American boys. Sure he is 59 now, but still ? I'm guessing being around that Hollywood crowd all these years has finally broke him down. Is he succumbing to peer pressure and the desire to make blockbuster films ? Another hero sold out.
I'm just clowning around here. I'm quite sure Ron Howard is a fine man and a good person. It was a bit surprising about the rating on the movie. I could think of no reason other than, I did remember him as Opie.
This reaction fits into the same category that prevented Shirley Temple from advancing in her film career. I have read about that and how the American public just couldn't accept her as anything but Shirley Temple. Drove the poor girl into politics, it did ! So, for me, Ron Howard will always be Opie and Richie. He was a close friend to Andy Griffith. Andy was a good man and a Gospel singer too. Could this loss have effected Ron in a negative way ? Andy passed last year and now Ron is making R rated movies ! Incredible.
We all live in our own little worlds. The world that we have created in our thoughts and minds. When things change to upset our world we look for answers. The why of it all. Most of the time we just blame someone else for that. That is the easiest way to explain it. Not my doing. I can't imagine what others are thinking sometimes ! When I was growing up our role models were a little different than what the kids have today. The beaver taught us right from wrong, the lone Ranger dealt in Justice and Father knew best ! What have they got today ? Miley Cyrus twerking ! Ah well, the times they are a'changin'. Bob Dylan knew that.
The Disney stars of today aren't quite the same. Annette stayed classy her whole life. Frankie Avalon remains an icon. I wonder what old Walt would have to say about all of this. I don't think he would be pleased.
They say ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is defined as a lack of knowledge or information. Yes, we were ignorant of some things in this world when we were growing up. I don't think that was necessarily a bad thing. At least it gave us time to mature before tackling some of the more serious issues in life. In fact I'm thinking we might be better served if we had continued in that vein. Maybe that is why some of the kids today act the way they do. Ignorance is bliss and I really enjoyed my childhood. Was that wrong ? I don't think so.

It's Here

It's here. Fall or is it Autumn ? Which term do you use ? I call it fall. Makes sense to me, the leaves fall. Autumn I think was invented by a rich person that wanted to sound fancy. No matter what you call it ,it is a beautiful time of the year. Elizabeth Bowen (an Irish novelist ) wrote, " Autumn arrives in the early morning, but Spring at the close of a winter day. " I think she said that well. If you look closely in the early morning, with the rising sunlight, you can begin to see the change in color. At first the change is faint and hard to discern. Soon however it will burst forth. When I was younger this was always met with the smell of burning leaves. Today that experience is becoming less and less. Regulation and science restricting it. The regulations to prevent people from burning the town down, and science telling us breathing those fumes causes disease.
Well, I still risk it every now and again.
Fall is the time to prepare. The winter will soon overtake fall and the ground become barren and cold. In the old days this was a real concern. I think it is still programmed into our DNA, this anticipation of winter. Pumpkins, straw bales, corn stalks and gourds. The stockpiling of supplies. Best get the wood cut for winter. Draw the necessities of life close to you. That is the purpose of Fall. A time to prepare. The time to reflect upon the blessings of the year can wait, that is the purpose of winter. We celebrate at the end of Fall with a feast of Thanksgiving. The prelude to a season of Thanks and gratitude. Isn't that what Christmas is for ? To praise and give thanks for our lord and savior. We celebrate his birth and in turn our own birth.
Yes Fall is the signal to prepare. The brightly colored foliage is the signal flag. Attention, change is on the way. Get ready. Time to finish up those summer chores, gather the harvest and move indoors. Families grow closer in the fall and winter and that is by design. Warm apple pie and cider. Hearty stews and soup. Home baked bread and rolls. All the comforts. The crackling of the fire and quiet conversation. If I had to name the season I think I would call it, Norman Rockwell.

Prejudiced ?

A few days ago I wrote about division. I was speaking about coming from the wrong side of the tracks, as it where. Whether real or perceived those divisions exist. I believe they still exist today. Some thought I was referring to prejudice, which to me, is a totally different thing. What I failed to make clear was I was speaking of social division. The different social strata and your perceived position in it. Someone, I don't recall who, once said, perception is reality to the one perceiving, or something similar to that. This position can lead to prejudice ! Prejudice is the perception that a person, or groups of people, are somehow inferior or superior, to your perceived group. Those targeted by this prejudice are not afforded the same respect or opportunity as those in your own grouping. Prejudice exists, always will, but can also be a perception. We are conditioned to perceive things in a certain way. Our parents,grand parents, peers and role models do this on an unconscious level. At least I hope it is an unconscious thing when bad behaviors are taught. The perpetuation of prejudice is a choice. It can be eliminated. It would take cooperation from all the social strata and I really can't see that happening anytime soon. It is a wonderful dream though. It is what Martin Luther King was dreaming about.
To say prejudice didn't exist in my world when I was growing up would be a lie. Of course it did. The degree of that prejudice is what is in question. All prejudice is inherently bad. That is because it is based on preconceived ideas not based in fact or actual experience. It is based on what we are told. Someone else's preconceived ideas. Often to deviate from that causes a division in our own social strata. That is why we sometimes cling to these notions. It is uncomfortable for us.
Racial prejudice is what is commonly thought of when the word prejudice is used. There are many other forms however. Social and economic prejudice exists and is just as detrimental. This has been so throughout recorded history. We are making gains as people however. There was a time when religious affiliation was a major reason for prejudice. When John Kennedy was elected president for instance, it was a great concern that he was a Catholic. Why ? The Protestants didn't like it, not one bit. In fact on September 12,1960 Kennedy addressed this very issue with a meeting of the Protestant clergy in Houston Texas. The words he spoke there are inspiring. And this is coming from me, not a big fan of Kennedy. I think in elections today religious affiliation is a side bar. Unless of course we are talking about, dare I say it, a Muslim. Non Christians will still meet with prejudice ! Just a fact. A Buddhist or Shinto might be alright but would still meet with criticism. An agnostic would stand no chance.
Am I prejudiced ? Yes. I have preconceived ideas about other people or groups without having direct knowledge. That makes me prejudiced. Am I unwilling to learn or experience those other groups ? Not in the least. The problem lies in a matter of trust. Can these other people be trusted ? The social interaction between different groups can be a treacherous path to tread. Misunderstandings can occur. Offense can be taken. Common ground must be found. A place were both parties feel secure and comfortable. That is the real challenge. The willingness to expose oneself to something unfamiliar and different. It is this defensive posture that is the barrier.
I do see this barrier coming down. Slowly, very slowly, an acceptance is being generated. Each generation has made a contribution to this progress. Will prejudice ever be completely eliminated ? I don't think so, not as long as man has independent thought. Differences are often met with resistance. Change is always difficult. Prejudice is not to be confused with hatred. I think that is the biggest misconception. I may harbor prejudice without hatred. In my experience I was never told or influenced to hate anyone. I was told of differences, whether they were real or perceived, and left to form my own opinion. That in and of itself is progress. The discussion has begun and will continue.
 

The benefits of Age

My granddaughters birthday is tomorrow. I was down at the Rite Aid drug store to get one of her gifts and a card. Now Morgan would like to have some perfume ( real grown up stuff ) called Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift. They keep that stuff locked up so I had to ask for assistance. The young girl behind the counter retrieved the key as I told her what I wanted. Chatting amicably, I told her what I needed that perfume for. I guess that was the first clue she got, as I told her it was for my granddaughter. Now the day was a bit chilly so I had a flannel shirt over my regular shirt as a sort of jacket. She had made a remark about the weather being so pleasant and I spoke of it being chilly. Clue #2 ? My wife had gone over to the card section and was browsing. I joined her there and we selected a card. Going to the checkout my wife asks me if I have the " wellness " card. In case you are not familiar with  that it is a reward card. Each time you use it for in store sales or promotions you gain points. The points are redeemable on merchandise.Now reaching back to retrieve my wallet I brush back that flannel shirt and my suspenders are exposed. Was that clue #3 ? I don't know but that same young lady I spoke with earlier says, " let me check something. " She took my card and scanned it, then rifling through a stack of papers, she checks for my name. Assuming it wasn't there,my name that is, she then says, " if you fill out this form you can get a 20% discount on this purchase and a 20% discount every Wednesday ! You are 65 aren't you ? " Well, I say, no I'm not, but I'm working on it ! Fact is that won't happen for another five years ! Blushing slightly this young lady apologizes and says she now feels bad. I tell her don't worry about it. As we leave the store my wife is laughing and says, " she was looking at you, not me. " I remain silent on that issue.
This isn't the first time an occurrence like this has happened. Some years back while having brunch at the Cracker Barrel the waiter incorrectly estimated my age. By a lot ! It was my birthday. The kids thought that was hilarious. I do get offered the " senior " discount every now and again. I can't help but think this age thing is all wrong. When you were young you want to be old. You try to disguise yourself and sneak around with a fake ID. It is an exciting time. When you do get old enough to qualify for " senior discounts and such, what do you get ? 20% off hemorrhoid cream or denture adhesive. Where are you going to sneak into ? A retirement home ? Just doesn't seem fair.
On an unrelated note I pose this question, at what age do you allow a girl to wear perfume ? Is there a difference between her wearing an inexpensive little girls perfume compared to the adult version ? I am talking other than price. I don't think so myself. I think if you allow the wearing of perfume, you allow it. Now lipstick is a different matter altogether !

Staying Connected

Could a lot of the problems in this country today be related to a disconnect ? Are we encouraging our children to disconnect from the past ? The attitude of grow up and move out was certainly a part of my generation. The expectation being to obtain your education and then establish a household of your own. The fulfillment of the American dream. Those that remained in the ancestral home beyond their school years where looked upon with suspect. I find this true even in today. Economic necessity is forcing this to occur more frequently than in my younger years, and is being met with resentment. The new generation feeling somehow cheated.
The disconnect I speak of however, has to do with communication between generations. When a generation is asked or expected to just move out at an early age, " to grow up " as it where, their natural reaction is going to be, I'm grown up now and need not listen to my parents. Everyone matures at a different rate. Age, in years or education, has little bearing on that. Did my fathers generation just throw us to the wolves ? Did they, unknowingly precipitate the growing mess society has become ? A society acting like children ? I want what I want and I want it now ! The " you're not the boss of me " syndrome ? I can do as I please.
It is much easier to justify and practice bad behaviors when not under the watchful eye of your parents. I use parents as a general term for the sake of convenience. I am referring to whomever raised you, those that you had to answer to as a child. You probably don't cuss in front of the preacher ! That's what I'm talking about. I'm thinking we are disconnected from those values and not being held accountable.
This disconnect was done with the best of intentions. We all want our children to function in society, to be successful. It is the measurement of success that begins to blur the line. Must we be independent land owners and separated from our parents to be successful ? The sharing of the ancestral home and property is not generally accepted anymore. Why ? Why, at least in American society, must we operate as individual units ? Other societies do not, yet prosper. In some cases, the perception is even that certain social groups or classes work for the common good. Not being a member of any of those groups I must admit that is speculation on my part. Just something I have heard.
The question that nags at me is this, do we owe our children ? Should we just raise them to a certain age or educational level and turn them loose ? Do we have the right to sell their heritage ? Do they have a birthright beyond their name ? I am not proposing we should restrict them in their ambitions but instead perhaps we should offer them a choice ? The choice to remain at home and share as an equal partner, being held accountable. Allow them the freedom to choose.
In the larger picture I see society in general not being held accountable for their actions anymore. The lawyers and politicians have made many behaviors " acceptable " that once were considered wrong or immoral. The general concept of having to answer to a higher power is losing favor. Given enough money or celebrity one can behave in just about any fashion one chooses. We have begun to function according to the letter of the law, not our moral obligations. And the letter of the law is subject to interpretation and change. Our obligation to our children however has not changed, nor should it change. Our moral obligations remain as well. The connection to the past is the path to the future. We should not allow that connection to be broken or lost.

Trust Yourself

Changes aren't always bad. Seems like a simple statement doesn't it ? I have found that most people view change with a sense of foreboding. I admit I usually do. Change can be unsettling. There are those that readily embrace change and those that do not. I subscribe to the theory that only fools rush in. I like to study and think about the implications of change before embracing them. It just seems like a logical approach. Check the depth of the water before diving in.
The adoption of change must be accompanied with trust. The long range effect of any change can not be determined without the passage of time. And time is something you can not get back. The best laid plans of man and a dozen other cliches come to mind. This acceptance of changes can be a difficult process. There are times when change is met with rejection. Immediate and complete rejection. In some area I am set in my ways and that will never change. To change that would be to compromise who I am. Another cliche pops to mind, be true, be you. Then again, to remain inflexible is too invite catastrophic failure. Consider the tree that bends in the wind and the one that is rigid. Which survives the wind of change ?
It does take a conscious effort to change. The changing of ones attitudes or belief system can be disturbing to say the least. A constant reminder and review of the reason for the change must be conducted. The things we learned as a child, on a subconscious level, from our parents, siblings and friends can be very hard to overwrite. The influences of the past often nag at us. If it was good enough for my father, it is good enough for me. How often have you heard that one ? If it was good enough for your father, why isn't it good enough for your children ? We all want better for our children. That involves change.
With all these writings I have done, I am finding I need change some things. Oh, I not saying I have discovered any eye opening revelations about myself, but have been surprised a few times. A work in progress. That is what each of us should be. Go ahead, make some changes, you might like it. I'm trying to take my own advice and sometimes that is the hardest advice of all.

Drawing a line

Yesterday, once again, our National Ensign was flying at half staff. This is happening at an alarming rate. The saddest part about it is that it is warranted, and not just an overreaction to an event. At what point will our national conscience awaken. Is there anything that can be done ? I am not convinced that there is. The mental instability of a person and there choices can only be guessed at and not predicted. Banning the sale of firearms will not stop this. Criminals do not obey the law ! Firearms are available for a price, always have been and always will be. Cocaine and other drugs are illegal and banned yet " surprisingly " still being sold.
I do think the media needs to stop exploiting these tragic events for ratings. Report the event. To devote hours of " in depth " coverage and speculation does nothing but increase the fear level and inspire others to act. On this mornings coverage of the Navy yard shooting the media is now blaming the military for this. This shooter had mental issues and they should have done more screening ! The fault has been shifted from the actual perpetrator to another entity. Wouldn't want to make an individual accountable for their actions, now would we ? It is not his fault, he was mentally ill. But deny him access or opportunity and cite his mental condition and see how fast the Government gets sued ! Already the Veterans Administration is catching some grief because he supposedly applied for help from them.
It is a fine line between freedom and oppression. The old , " you can't cry fire in a movie theater " scenario. Just where and how do we decide where to draw that line. It is an age old dilemma. The conservatives vs the Liberals. I don't feel as though we can continue on our present course. We have become so liberal in our interpretation of freedom, that it is becoming restrictive. Restrictive to good law and order. Just as you can not allow children to just run a muck, so it should be with the general population. It is however a dangerous and slippery path. What behaviors are acceptable and what are not ? The general trend has been, everything goes, in recent years. Our social conscience has undergone some major shifts in the last fifty years or so. In our arrogance we tend to feel as though we have improved and become more enlightened. In some areas I would say that is true and in others, not so much.
I have no answers. I am just another citizen appalled at these events. I am looking for answers where there are none. I do not hear anything constructive being said. I do hear those that wish to use these events to advance there own agendas. I see the media using these events to promote their ratings. Can a made for TV movie be far behind ? My only thoughts are that we need to hold those accountable for their actions up to public scrutiny. Label them for what they are, and punish them. Make as little public spectacle about these aberrations in civilized behavior as possible. 

Sold Out

Those that came were financed. The common story is that we came seeking religious freedom. Our cause was noble and motivations pure. We,the self righteous being oppressed, sought our freedom. Well, sorta. That is one side of the story. The other side tells quite a different tale.
I hear tell of great wealth and riches that await in a foreign land. The problem lies in attaining those resources. The plan is this. I know a bunch of malcontents always speaking of freedom. I will provide the means for their freedom. I will finance their journey to this new land. I hear the land is inhabited by savages that have no regard for human life and indeed they worship no God at all. This land, void of any suitable habitation and having no settlements of any description beyond "camp sites " is not fit for a Gentleman. I will exploit these " Pilgrims " for my own gain. They will get their " freedom " all the while being dependent upon me.
And that is the way the Americas got settled. Make no mistake about it. Those that came were not the wealthy land owners in the old country. It was a financed venture for monetary gain. The " Pilgrims " were sold a packet ! That is not to say they were totally unaware of this arrangement, I'm sure the contrary is true but the packet was preferable to their current state. A small chance is better than no chance at all.
The Europeans eventually purchased the land from the natives. More properly the " Chiefs " sold the land to the white man for profit. I'm quite certain a good portion of the " Indians " were not happy about it. The Chief selling off the land for his own gain with no thought to the poor Indian. And look at what the white man is doing with the land. Chopping down the tress, digging up the land and penning up the animals ! Stupid white man. The " Chiefs " later lament the loss of their ancestral lands forgetting about the " sale. " The white man spoke with forked tongue and his papers was worthless. Truth was, the Chief was bamboozled and the lawyers took care of the  paperwork. The Chief never stood a chance against the wealth of the white man. Wealth and overwhelming numbers spelled the end. The wealthy financed the operation and the poor joined in. Their reward ?A promise of wealth for themselves. And so it continues to this day. The " Natives " selling their land to the wealthy and then complaining about it ! What has happened to my ancestors land ? The land of my forefathers. I sold it ! That answer is often unsatisfactory to those that didn't share in the gain. Isn't that the truth of it ?
This selling of the land we came to call " progress. " We had to call it something that sounded good. Those that benefited from the sale had to sugar coat it in some fashion. We will label it progress and tell those displaced how their lives will be enriched by the experience. All you need do is find the malcontents and finance their ambitions. Exchange temporary funds for the land. The land is permanent. Strange thing about land, it is limited in supply, yet never sold out ! The " natives " are always restless and willing to sell.

That's Why

I really enjoy history and the reading of it. I especially enjoy the explanation of why. Why did they do this or that ? The explanation can be as interesting as the action. I try to find as many point of views on the subject as possible. The outcome of the story is dependent upon the teller. Underlining motives are of great interest and essential to the understanding of history. I have found the motives are usually self evident and involve no great plot or scheme. It all must be digested in the context of the times.
Every action is done for the benefit of someone. Nothing is done just because somebody became bored. If you can determine who is benefiting then you can determine the motive. The old saying, follow the money, holds true. The money may not always be cash, but future gain or position in society may be at stake. This has been so since the beginning of man. I'm certain some one, some where, first traded something of value to gain an advantage over his fellow man. And I'm equally as certain it was person of greater wealth taking advantage of the lesser man. Whether they traded for weapons,food or property, it was so. It is the way of the world.
It is interesting also how future generations may deny the truth in the matter. The story becomes one of benevolence or philanthropy. The unscrupulous behavior pushed into the darkness of history. That is not to say all actions have a sinister or evil intent. I would say they do have an agenda though. Whether that agenda is to profit, or make amends for past actions, there is a purpose. This is the truth of history I find fascinating.
The truth in history can be an uncomfortable thing. It can be inconvenient as well. The things of the past can leave long and lasting scars. Sometimes these scars transfer from one generation to the next. Over generations the true reasons for these actions become lost or blurred. These are those proverbial " skeletons in the closet. " The things we would rather not examine too closely. Every person, indeed every society harbors these skeletons. An understanding of them is an understanding of the past. When you understand the past,the future begins to make more sense. Life is not a series of random actions. There is meaning behind each one. A study of history is a quest for these meanings.

The great Divide

My eighth great grandfather Samuel Bennett lived in a pace called Squaw cove. He passed there in 1699. I don't know the year he arrived in that location. I have been unable to find the exact location of this Squaw Cove on any map. I have found a description stating it was on the east side of Three Mile Harbor. I am very familiar with Three Mile Harbor as that is where I was raised. As a child I was unaware that my ancestors had lived so long in that place. I knew that Indians,native Americans if you prefer, had lived there. Not far from my home was Soak Hide Dreen where the Indians tanned their hides. I had heard that evidence of their existence there had been unearthed years before my birth. I played in that dreen, at the head of Three Mile harbor many times. I never saw any indication of Indians though.
I can be fairly certain that Great Grandfather Sam Bennett lived among the Indians or at least co existed with them. There presence would have most certainly been there at that time. He didn't marry a squaw though, married a fine white girl. The main settlement of East Hampton would be about three miles to the west of Squaw Cove. The " proprietors " as they were know had all the land lots for the Village and controlled most of the surrounding area. Later settlers arriving had to take what was offered in the way of land. The area around Three Mile harbor was very desirable in those days. It did contain wooded areas and access to the bay for fishing and the like. The land there is not as suitable for farming as other areas. I expect that is why Samuel Bennett wound up in Squaw Cove. There was no fighting the " proprietors " and you had to live where you could. The poor " immigrant " relegated to living in the wilderness and subject to the whims of the proprietors.
This was the beginning of the divide. We have all heard of the division in towns, the other side of the tracks. In the early days in East Hampton this area was called " down hook. " After the railroad came through it did become below the bridge, for the train trestle that divided the " upstreeters " from the rest of us. The rest of us came to be called " Bonackers " after the Accobonac Indians, at least that is the general belief. This divide lasted well into the 1960's that I can testify to. I can not speak much about it after that time as I moved away. I will leave that for the others that remain to decide.
This divide ,whether real or perceived, separated the white collars from the blue collars. I expect that is the usual division point, a distinction of classes. This was very real to me. My parents were aware of it and felt a little resentment about it. Those " upstreeters " had the money and the land. Once, back in the old days they had been sued to allow the division of property more fairly. I had heard a little of this from my folks and there friends. The " upstreeters " were money grabbers and always trying to take advantage of us " Bonackers. " But we " Bonackers " are'nt near as stupid as those " upstreeters " think we are. Sure we may not have that fancy college education, and fancy cars and houses, but by God Bub ,we are real ! We could be trusted and our sort where " The Finest Kind. " Never did I hear that term applied to an " upstreeter. " Why they figured they were so much better than us I'll never know.
I was aware of all this growing up but never paid it much mind. I mostly stuck with my own kind ( as the old folks said ) and let the " upstreeters do what they liked. I was naturally curious about them folks but didn't fit into their social circles. The girls were pretty but I was told to avoid them, them " upstreet girls " could be big trouble. Why their fathers where Doctors,lawyers and men of wealth and influence, best not to get mixed up in that.
Old Sam Bennett lived and died down to Squaw Cove and I was raised there, or close it myself. I think neither one of us would recognize the place anymore. Has the divide finally been breached ? I think this divide will always exist on some level. Maybe not in a physical sense but a mental divide. Now I think it is a divide between the " Natives " and the " immigrants. " Sounds kind of familiar to me ! LOL

Trust

The other day a former classmate of mine posted her thought on Facebook. I love reading the thoughts of others,when they are sincere and thought provoking. I believe this posting was both. To paraphrase a portion of what she said, " There are so many variations of friendships and relationships we should not try to change or mold others to suit our own personal preferences or desires but instead should accept others as they are and have them remain in our lives in their own categories of friendship or relationship. " The truth in those words are obvious. My immediate response was, " friendship is measured in trust. " Her statement of fact inspired that reaction or more properly revelation. With her generous permission I use her thoughts as a basis for this blog posting.
There are indeed many variations in friendships and relationships and each is based upon a level of trust. The degree of trust defines that friendship or relationship. It also dependent on the individuals' ability to place that trust in others. Those that easily trust others are often disappointed, and those that withhold that trust lonely. It is a difficult balancing act. As we grow, as humans, the extension of our trust is influenced by the events in our lives. Broken hearts and broken trust, one and the same. Emotional scars can impede our ability to trust. So in reality it is the withholding of trust that effects future relationships, We control our friendships and relationships and must find the level that is comfortable for us. To try to change or mold others to this, our own life experience, is not a realistic approach. In order to gain trust we must first trust ourselves. We must be confident in our ability to know when to extend that trust and when to withhold. Personal responsibility is the key.
We should periodically take inventory of our emotions. A thorough self examination. Are we allowing a broken trust to close the road to future relationships ? Are we denying ourselves that opportunity ? The saying is nothing ventured,nothing gained and that rings true. Consider a child, how quickly they trust and the happiness they gain, if only for a few hours on the playground. A child grasps at every opportunity. We know that is not a safe approach and we should temper our decisions with discretion. That does not mean we shouldn't extend a measure of trust to everyone we meet. We should. I'm not saying go " all in, " quite the contrary. Trust must be earned.
Love is the ultimate display of trust. Love cannot exist without it. Trust, however, can exist without love. Trust is not dependent upon that condition. Failed relationships can be explained in that way. Love does not die but trust can erode. There are times when the two get confused in our minds. We need to sort that out in order to move ahead. Love at first sight ? I think not. Placing all your trust in someone in the hopes of some fulfillment on your part ? Perhaps that is so. Beauty can overwhelm the senses. And beauty can come from many sources, not just the physical.
Often it is the reading of words that finalize the thought. What I mean to say is, you are aware of this thought or concept, yet remained uncommitted until you read it. Somehow the reading of the words revealed the truth. The removal of uncertainty replaced by trust.

Feeling Frazzled

The wife and I have been watching the kids for three days now. We are both starting to feel a little run down and somewhat cranky. It's alright though just brewed a fresh pot of coffee and will be good to go in no time. The one thing I am missing is the news. I haven't been able to sit and listen to the news. I have a habit of complaining about the kids not knowing what is going on in the world and now I know why, no time. I'm feeling somewhat lost in the current events. What are we doing in Syria ? What's happening in Egypt ? What about the million Muslim march and two million bikers ? How did all that turn out ? It is all very unsettling.
There was a time when I thought old people watched the news because they had nothing else to do, guess what ? I was right ! When I reached that point I was thinking it was because I had " matured " and become more aware of world events and how they affected our world. I thought it was because I had finally realized just how important current events are, just like Miss Bird, the English teacher always used to say. Now I know that isn't so after all, I just had time to do that and nothing else on the agenda.
I have been living an Ozzie and Harriet life . Off to work and coming home to the evening news, a meal and some light television viewing in the early evening. Sometimes I would read or work on the commuter while my wife crochets. A little treat, perhaps ice cream, a little before bedtime. Then up in the morning to my fresh perked coffee and repeat. Just rolling along. It is as I wrote on Tuesday, a change of routine. We are on the downside though and everything will be back to normal in no time. Then I can write and complain about that. Isn't that the way it goes ?
I usually try to write something I feel thought provoking or amusing. I find myself a little frazzled. My thoughts are a bit scattered, more than usual I should say, and it is getting difficult to put together a coherent sentence. Closing for now.

The way life goes

While my son is on vacation I have to assume some of his duties. One of them is taking Mark to soccer practice. Mark wasn't practicing with his team last night but assisting with the little kids team that his Dad coaches. I don't coach soccer as I am not qualified to do so, know little of the game rules and you have to be trained to know the signs of concussion. The later is a requirement from the league. So while they were doing that I watched another game being played. These other teams were eight to ten year olds. I knew none of the children playing so I watched with total impartiality. That was different, usually I am rooting for Marks team and while watching I have sometimes, just sometimes, been impartial in my assessment of the officiating ! I know, hard to believe but it is true. This was different, it didn't matter.
As I watched the children play I was also watching the parents and grandparents. It was easy to tell who was rooting for whom. Most were good natured about the game but some were dead serious ! Some sat quietly, smiling and clapping when it was appropriate. Others paced up and down the sidelines, yelling instructions and encouragement. Some were just yelling.
It was quite a contest. Back and forth they went with no one team showing any dominance. It is amusing to watch those teams as they move as a group. All the yellow team around the ball running down field, and all the blue team standing there to meet them. A battle for the ball and everyone in a knot around it. Sometimes the ball pops out of that cluster of players. The chase is on again. Back and forth. They're getting close to the goal now and ready to score. The goal keeper quits swinging from the top bar, where he was practicing his chin ups, to block the ball. Aww, so close. It's a goal kick. The goalie boots that ball as hard as he can and it moves three feet up the field. Swarm,swarm that's what it looks like. And the battle continues.
I must say I enjoyed watching this game. It was nice to not have any vested interest in the outcome. A sport for the sheer sport of it. The way the game was intended to be watched. During the game one little boy caught the ball with his face. Ouch ! He falls to the ground. The whistle is blown and everyone is told to " take a knee " Everyone does as the coach goes over to the fallen child. Looks like both teams are ' T- Bowing ". The coach is standing over the boy, who by this time is up on both knees in a kneeling position. Then Mom runs out on the field, drops to her knees and gives him a big hug and a kiss. He's alright now and stands up. I couldn't help but think, wouldn't it be nice if in life we had the same thing, you get hurt and all it takes is a hug from Mom. The game goes on. It also struck me how this happened and there was no shame, no self consciousness, next year it will be different. That little boy won't want Mommy hugging him on the field, no kissing it and making it all better. Shame it has to be like that, isn't it ? Well, that's the way life goes.

Changing the routine

The kids are off on vacation. The kids (my son and his wife) are going to the Dominican Republic for a four day romp in the sun. Good for them and I surely hope it is the vacation of a lifetime for them. They both work hard and deserve it. That leaves the wife and I with the grand kids. We will be back to raising children for a week. Seems odd, although to tell the truth the grand kids are with us almost as much as their parents. Only difference being they won't be going home at night. We have a list of all the activities they have to attend . It must be old age but the list seems a little daunting. Soccer practice, dance classes, back to school night and picture day at school. Just getting them to these activities doesn't seem all that bad until you factor in all the preparation involved. You have to make sure the proper clothing and equipment goes with them. I'm trying to remember how we did it back in the day. It is beginning to stress me out already ! I hope this isn't an indication of things to come. My Mom is 82 now and stresses out about a Doctors appt three days before she has to be there. It seems like that happens a lot with us senior people. I wonder why that is ? I have a built in excuse to be late or not know what is going on, I'm old and unfamiliar with the routine. Still this feeling of responsibility is weighing on me.
This has to be why they say children can keep you young. You have to become younger to stay up with this stuff, it is not a choice. Strange thing is, in my experience, these kids age me ! All this worry about schedules, homework,meals and the like. It is taxing and today is only the first day ! Well I hope the kids enjoy this vacation to the fullest, it is going to cost them. When they get back the wife and I may need medication. As the responsible parties we should be covered under their insurance plan, like employees. If they are lucky we won't need long term care. I think it would be wise of them to plan otherwise however.
I am looking forward to a wonderful week. I am thankful that we can watch the children and are able to do so. The time we get to spend with the grand children can not be found in a vacation package. It will be a change in routine and that is a good thing. Keeps you fresh and relevant ! I do need to say those things to convince myself. Seriously though, it is a wonderful thing and I am grateful for the time. 

say what ?

Chance and circumstance have left me in a foreign land , speaking a foreign language. For years I have been adrift, pausing for a few years here and there, only to move on. When the time came to drop anchor I found the home port was closed to me, alas, the tariff was too high. I have tied my ship to the pier, ah who am I kidding, I'm in dry dock and unlikely to sail again. It is not a sad thing, it just is. This port I now call home is not the land of my fathers, but it is a good land. The language can be a bit confusing at times and one needs to listen carefully. I find it best to speak slowly around these parts.
In the last few years I have discovered this social media. Through this venue I have been able to reconnect with those that shared the land of my youth. We even speak the same language; somewhat. Inflection and pronunciation are very difficult to type. But the common phrases appear and old memories stirred up. It is good to be able to communicate across the miles and in real time. What may have been different were this available say twenty years ago, or fifty ? Information is key and now readily available. The only issue now being trust. Can you trust the source ? The world has grown a little smaller because of it. Not necessarily a good thing though, close proximity can cause issues of its' own. Along with the good comes the bad. It really is a two sided coin. Memories don't always agree, and perceptions can be stark in their differences.
As I read the words others type I have to interpret their meaning. I looked meaning up in the dictionary and it is defined as, " the thing one intends to convey,especially by language." " What the source or sender expresses. " Reading that explains a lot if you think about it. Often the written language is different from the spoken language. That is where we get ourselves into trouble. The thing we intend to convey gets lost in the words. Happens all the time. The thing the source or sender expresses becomes blurred.
I find this happens in this foreign land where I now live. I do not share a common experience with the natives. I am foreign to them. They are foreign to me as well. Our intentions are not always clear in their meaning. Things held to be sacred here may not be where I came from. Tales from the past hold no water here, from either side. The only cure for this is assimilation. I find myself resisting. To set aside your youth and homeland is not an easy task. I am aware of it and that adds to the difficulty. It is through cultural assimilation that we find our place in society. The society where we now live. The society of my youth was an independent lot and strongly opinionated. "Set in our ways" is the expression. It is ingrained in me.
My children and grandchildren are native to this land. They hear my stories of the old land, akin to them of the old country. They do not share the experience with me, indeed my own wife does not. All that leads to this feeling of being in a foreign land and speaking a foreign language. Language is more than words, language is the expression of the soul. In my native tongue, yes,yes bub !

Skeletons

You have heard the expression, skeletons in the closet, and I'm certain you have a few. I know I do and I'm not telling what they are. Those " skeletons " just hang around , food for thought. I often find myself reflecting upon them and wondering. The what if's can take over if you are not careful. It is not good to spend too much time what if'ing. You cannot change the past, only review it. Those old bones from the past can become a burden. There is relief however, expose them to the light of day. Study them honestly and completely and they soon disappear. It is not necessary to show them to anyone else. It is only necessary to expose them.
There are times when these skeletons sorta slip out on their own. I hate it when that happens. It is always embarrassing, like having your zipper down or something. Secrets do not want to remain secrets. They may have been hiding in there for years and just when you become unaware, there they are ! This is usually followed by a series of questions. You are going to be asked for an explanation. Almost always the explanation just makes it worse. The other skeletons want to follow.
Over the years the closet can get full. If one is wise and learns from the past, the admittance of additional skeletons becomes difficult. You and you alone control that. It is the wise man that gradually empties the closet. Removing the burdens of the past is good for the soul. One should periodically sort through that clutter and dispose of it. Forgive yourself for indiscretions of the past and focus upon the future.
There are some skeletons that we will carry forever. These are the ones that we never reach an agreement with, We find it impossible to reconcile our previous actions with today's thoughts. Do not allow these skeletons to rattle their bones. You can silence them with acceptance. Do not argue with them. Listen only and do not reply. That is the real key, listening. Like the teachers in school told you, you cannot listen while you are talking ! 

Tribal Connections

I was reading a Google article about the lost tribe of the Accabonacs and found it amusing and somewhat bittersweet. Apparently I am part of a dying breed that is being relegated to a museum. I guess that is about right. I did find it amusing that a linguist was studying our speech and thinks it came from some place in England. I rather doubt that Bub, but you're entitled to your opinion. I had many a conversation with old Stewart Bennett and let me tell you he didn't use much of the Kings English ! But those with PhDs like to believe they have the answers. Well, ain't always so.
The article included a list of " common phrases " a Bonacker may use. Some I've heard and some I never did. Some are pure fancy and that's the truth of it. Of course if you want to market something you have to add a little flair to it. I'll tell you this much, wasn't nothing romantic about being a Bonacker. It was damn hard work and damn little pay. As for the " loving it " part, sure I love it, don't know anything else. Give me a lot of money and I'd try that in a heartbeat ! A lot of Bonackers did too.
I never made claim to being a Bonacker. I lived down to Three Mile Harbor right off of Springy banks. Been fishing,clamming and all that stuff but never commercially unless you count helping Dad go scalloping. Did that a few times and made pretty good money from it. I would say that my generation is host to the last of the true Bonackers. There are damn few left. Like that article pointed out, that way of life is going the way of the Whalers. A time gone by and never to return.
Government regulation has been blamed for a part of this demise. Yes, it played a role. I think technology played a bigger role. My Grandfather Bennett told of the time they began to use engine powered boats to haul scallop dredges. He said that was the beginning of the end. Made it too easy to catch more than you really needed and led to over harvesting. Wasn't that many years after his passing that his prediction came true. Then came refrigerated trucks to transport the catch to far away markets. The demand became larger and as a consequence the harvest grew. The little man was being pushed out by the bigger outfits. Even happened with families. Those that had the resources and man power dominated. Gone were the days of individual fishermen selling just enough to get by. Technology was the root cause. Man has always sought ways to do it faster,easier and with greater profit and man always will. Then we will lament the loss of a way of life. Soon the way of life becomes nothing more than memories and reenactments.
Funny thing is there was a time when membership in this tribe wasn't a good thing, at least not in the eyes of some. And now these people want to claim ownership. Now the tribe is being studied and written about. Should you wish to talk to me that would be just fine. I'm not so sure I belong to this tribe though. My Grandfather Bennett certainly did and other ancestors of mine. I don't think you can inherit experience. If you haven't lived the experience there is little you can say about it. The best I can offer is stories and tales I have been told. Am I some relic from the past ? Not hardly, Bub ! Not hardly.

Quality of Life

I hear the term " quality of life " thrown about these days. Everything from commercials to politicians use this term. Buy this product and your quality of life will be improved and possibly enhanced beyond your wildest imagination. Vote for me, I will increase your quality of life. Move here, live there, attend this seminar, join a cult, your quality of life is at stake.
Well all I can say is this, your quality of life is dependent upon the quality of your thoughts. It is really as simple as that. Irregardless of any promises or innuendo to the contrary, you control your quality of life. Not the drug companies, lawyers, preachers or politicians.
If you allow your thoughts to focus upon the negative things in life, that will be your experience. Allow the mind to stray from the constructive to the destructive and that will be the result. The " quality " of your life can not and should not be measured by external factors. The external can certainly have an effect on your outlook but should not be allowed to control.
The advertising gurus and snake oil salesman invented this quality of life stuff. It is another way to say, I'm not getting what I want. I'm the victim here and my quality of life is being infringed upon. The other part is, give me your money and I can fix that. The truth is they cannot. You may medicate, cover up or provide a temporary sense of relief but it has no effect on your quality of life. The quality of your life is dependent upon the quality of your thoughts.
Physical changes occur over time. This is an inevitable fact of living. No matter how much we exercise, eat healthy or go to spas, it is going to happen. Are these changes effecting your quality of life ? As long as my mind is sound, I think not. Those that can't play, coach ! A lifetime of experience should not go unused. The quality of your life should not be impacted. Do not be fooled into thinking that because you cannot do what you did ten or twenty years ago that your life has been effected. That is what these pitchmen want you to believe. The quality of your life is dependent upon the quality of your thoughts.

Creating a stir

I've written about them twice in the past. The first tine was October 10 of 2010, and then again on November 19,2011. And now here we are in September of 2013. These things that I wrote about seem of little consequence but apparently that is not the case. My daughter in law made a Facebook posting regarding these objects and the post blew up. Over fifty likes and numerous comments. When going to the bus stop to meet my Grand daughter, I have people yelling across the street at me. Just what could be causing such a stir ? I'll tell you, I started wearing suspenders. Yup, a simple thing one would think. I certainly never expected a flap over my fashion . The thing is I'm not wearing them for fashion, but practicality. They hold my pants up preventing plumbers butt. Nothing hard to understand about that. But I sure have had a lot of people asking me for an explanation. My grand daughter finds them embarrassing. She informs me they are not in style !
In my previous postings on this subject I had done some research. I learned that suspenders were once considered underwear. That was the primary purpose of wearing a waistcoat or vest, to cover those suspenders. The working class man may expose his suspenders but never a proper gentleman. I fit into the working class section so mine are exposed. There are those upper crust ladies that this may appeal to, the bad boy image. I am willing to assume that risk. I wear jeans most of the time and they , of course, have belt loops. I am breaking with convention by wearing a belt with the suspenders. Proper fashion dictates that you shouldn't but I've already established that bad boy persona, so I'm going with it. I just feel if the pants have belt loops you should wear a belt. The belt alone however no longer does the trick. I knew hair loss and graying would happen as I aged. I was ready for the bushy eyebrows and aches and pains. I had even prepared myself for wrinkling. What I didn't know was that my butt would migrate to my stomach ! That is the cause of the saggy pants. No matter how tight I pull the belt those pants just slide on by ! On with the suspenders. Nobody wants to see all that.
I am somewhat at a loss for words regarding the reception my suspenders have received. I really never expected anyone to say much or figure that anyone even noticed what I wore. I have long since passed the age where I care about fashion. I wear what I like, what is comfortable and the devil take the hindmost. Oh I try to stay presentable to spare the wife but function has definitely passed fashion in the decision making. The attention is nice, even bad attention is better than nothing, but it is surprising. As with all things however, it will pass. Given time it will become the norm. It won't be too long before seeing me without suspenders will be cause for discussion. When that happens, I'll change my hat !

                                                                                 

That's Me

Boots

In listening to the news I get disgusted with their terminology. With regards to Syria and whether or not we will strike I keep hearing the same phrase from everyone, boots on the ground. Is that supposed to be some cool way of saying sending our troops into harms way ? We are discussing the potential loss of lives here, don't make it sound like a rap song ! Will we have boots on the ground,boots on the ground,are we gonna have boots on the ground ? That may be okay for two GI's talking in the barracks but the President,Secretary of State and speaker of the house on television ? I don't think so. It just doesn't lend an air of intelligence to the conversation. Maybe they have all been playing too many video games. Terms like. a surgical strike, limited engagement and secondary targets. phooey. Who is it they are trying to fool ? Not me that's for sure with their flippant remarks and Mr cool attitudes. And the President eluding to the fact that he thinks asking Congress for permission is optional ? What's up with that ? Oh, that's right he's not declaring war on Syria, just gonna blow a few things up, so it doesn't count. That's like saying I'm not going to fight you, just hit you a few times !
I'm making more out of it than it needs to be. The terms used shouldn't influence the decision making. I think I just expect more intelligent discussion. Why are they even discussing it on the news in the first place ? We elect these officials to be our representatives, shouldn't we let them represent us ? These discussions should be done privately and be judged upon their actions. That is why we vote. Don't like what they did ? Don't vote for them again. A simple concept really. To vote for an individual is to place your trust in him/her. To withdraw that trust whenever a decision needs to be made is somewhat hypocritical,don't you think ?
It is my belief, for the most part, people want to be led. This has always been true. Sometimes there are bad leaders, this is true, but people follow. All this discussion, in public, erodes the confidence of the people. They start second guessing the leader. It isn't long before dissension and eventual chaos will ensue. In America we get to decide every four years and every two years to replace or retain our representatives. That is our form of censorship to inhibit the gathering of too much power. Unfortunately  right now in America I see no leader. The President isn't leading, he is ridiculed more than anything else, and the Congress isn't showing much resolve either. All I see is posturing and double talk. What is necessary is this, instead of putting " boots on the ground " the American people need to apply a boot to those that fail to lead ! And we all know where that boot should go.

Old Memories

It would have been the summer of 65 when I first noticed them, we called them man-o-wars but that probably isn't accurate. They were a large jellyfish with four red circles on their top and long tentacles hanging down. Those jellyfish would sting quite severely if you came into contact with those tentacles. My brother Harold found that out while scuba diving off of Sammis beach. He surfaced right in the center of one, had to go to the clinic and get treated.
We went clamming a lot down to Hands creek. Hands creek was across from the head of the harbor. A small creek emptied into the bay there. About six or eight feet across I would say and a couple feet deep. The current wasn't very powerful and the banks were lined with mussels. Blue crabs could be found in the creek too. For a young kid with an inner tube it was a great place to play. At various times it was the Amazon river infested with crocodiles, the mighty Mississippi and the raging Colorado. Those jellyfish didn't go in the creek and so it was a safe place to swim, splash and just horse around.
My parents had made some friends that lived up the island. These friends would come to East Hampton for the weekends. They had a mobile home down on Soakhide road across from my Uncles house. The father, Mr. Conelly drove a Volvo. Now that was the only Volvo I had ever seen. It was exotic back then. Figured these folks had a lot of money. A vacation home on Soakhide and a Volvo ! Well, Mr. Conelly and family would go clamming with us. I can still picture him singing out on the clam flats. He sang very loudly and very poorly, Wooly Bully ! That was a hit song on the radio at the time. A band called Sam the Sham and the Pharohs took it to number one. He would sing away and scoop up those jellyfish and sling them away from himself. We kids thought he was what Mom called, a little touched. I don't remember him ever getting stung though.
The summer of 65 was a great year. I have many fond memories of that time and place. We had friends that were " city folks " but didn't act that way. We had many cookouts at their home. Mr. Conelly loved to build a fire and we would roast marshmallows and cook hot dogs. He was a funny guy. He was always singing, dancing or just acting silly. Looking back maybe it was the beer. There was a lot of beer drinking going on. The years have passed now and the trailer is gone. No one remains on Soakhide that would remember that time. I think about Mr. Conelly every now and again, especially should Wooly Bully come on the radio but that doesn't happen very often. Old memories are the best and bittersweet. We couldn't have known how much things would change. It's alright though, I make new memories every day, and one day they will be old as well.

                                                                             

                                                                            

Cedar Point

During a conversation yesterday a special place came to mind, Cedar Point Light. Cedar point light is an old lighthouse that stands sentinel over Northwest harbor. Growing up my father would sometimes take me there to go fishing or just enjoy a picnic. It has been many years since I was there and the details are getting fuzzy now. I do remember the big stone building and the light sticking out of the roof. This is not a lighthouse like you picture a lighthouse. This lighthouse is a house, with a light mounted on the roof. I found that curious but have learned there are several more built in this fashion. As a kid I was fascinated with this building. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere near it though. It was private property then and we were told not to trespass. A Miss Edith Beale owned it. Edith Beale is the aunt of Jacqueline Kennedy. Yes, that Kennedy. She later sold it to another man that was going to use it as a hunting lodge but that never happened.
I didn't go there very often, if I remember right the shore is a bit rocky there. It was a remote location as well. The lighthouse was built to guide the whaling ships into the harbor. The entrance to Northwest harbor and Sag Harbor bay is a dangerous one. My great great Grandfather was an offshore whaler and I'm certain he passed this light many time on his voyages. How many times he looked to the light and knew he was home, or watched that light fade into the night behind him I can't know. That he sailed seven times around the horn I do know.
At one time, I'm not sure of the year, my Uncle Emil, Aunt Anna and cousin Dolly lived in the lighthouse. It wasn't operating as a lighthouse then but belonged to the county park system. How wonderful that must have been. I wasn't around at the time so never got to go out there and see the house. I had heard rumors of it but my cousin confirmed that for me.
In 1974 some vandals set fire to the building. Now the windows have been bricked up and the interior left in ruins. There is a plan to restore the light and I wish for it to be done. That would be a project worth doing. I hear the area around the light is now a county park. Camping,fishing and the like. A lot of things have changed since I lived there and, surprisingly, some seem to be for the better ! I do hope the light is restored one day and shines again. Great Grandfather Abraham and his brother Oliver will be looking for it. I will too.

                                                                                 

Cedar Point Lighthouse

Just Buildings

I saw another one yesterday, and it made me sad, another church closed and for sale. I saw one back in April of this year right here in Greensboro, it still sits empty. I am saddened when I ride down main street and see the only shops open are the beer,wine ,liquor and lottery places. Mom and Pop have closed their doors or have gone " breaking bad. " Now Walmart's and seven elevens are being built at an alarming rate.
Open on Sundays ! You bet they are. The pews at the church sit empty. Have we become too busy for God ?
I would agree that attendance is not necessary to be a good Christian. Faith is the only requirement and our Bibles tell us that. The Bible also tells us that wherever two or more should gather in my name, I am there. And isn't that the purpose of building the church ? Certainly the structure is just a building until we congregate there and then it becomes the house of God. He is there.
I can not help but wonder what causes a church to close. This church is an old church and has been in town for many years. The population of the town has only increased during this time but apparently the attendance has not. Sadly, it is apparent the attendance has declined significantly. What or who is to blame for this ? I would have to conclude it is society in general. Overall church attendance has declined. A quick Google search will verify that. And that statistic alone should tell you something.
I see these empty churches with there for sale signs out front. I am saddened because I see a piece of the American fabric up for sale. Gods house, for sale. Is God going broke or being foreclosed upon ? Where are those that worshiped ? There is a certain comfort obtained from praying in the same building as your father, and his father before him. A special bond formed on Sundays. I see this being lost, sold on the common market. It saddens me.
There are those that want to save the trees or whales. There are those that rally against discrimination and injustice. My cause would be to save the churches. If I could I would buy each one and preserve it forever. Services would be held there and the doors never closed. Churches are like old friends, they offer understanding and comfort. They should not be forgotten. Just buildings ? Perhaps one could say that, but is a wildflower picked from a field by your Granddaughter just a flower ?  How many are pressed between the pages of a book ? No, not just a flower or just a building.