I was feeling a certain way. Not angry, disappointed or sullen. I couldn't quite put a description on it and I was puzzled by it. Then I came to realize what it was, I was feeling dismissed. That was the emotion I was experiencing. I detest that feeling. The feeling being that your opinion or insights do not matter at all. That your input is of no consequence whatsoever. You have been dismissed. You may leave sir as you are no longer of value here.
I think that is a basic human need. The need to feel valued. When one starts to feel their value only lies in what they have to offer, and that offer is rejected, that is a bad thing. Being dismissed altogether is quite another.
I am as guilty of this as anyone else. I can sometimes be dismissive. When I get the feeling I have far more knowledge or experience in a certain area. When I feel your comments or actions to be inadequate.
The very worst part about being dismissed is your inability to change the situation. Short of doing something radical or foolish in nature, there is little you can do. You have been dismissed. You are gone. And even if one should take some radical action it will only lead to you looking even more foolish.
We all have our ups and downs. Defining the emotions does little to appease them however. I do think understanding why you are feeling the emotion that you do is of benefit. The benefit lies in applying this knowledge when dealing with others. Knowing your own emotional state and how it may affect your interaction with others. This is the first time I would say I am feeling dismissed.
Curious, our emotions. Why I am feeling so, I can explain. The answer however would be self serving and somewhat jaded. The only question remaining being, once dismissed do you strive for readmittance ? Or is it best to remain silent and content in the background ? One should choose their battles with care. Perhaps the issue is insignificant but never the person. That is the basis of the emotion.
I think that is a basic human need. The need to feel valued. When one starts to feel their value only lies in what they have to offer, and that offer is rejected, that is a bad thing. Being dismissed altogether is quite another.
I am as guilty of this as anyone else. I can sometimes be dismissive. When I get the feeling I have far more knowledge or experience in a certain area. When I feel your comments or actions to be inadequate.
The very worst part about being dismissed is your inability to change the situation. Short of doing something radical or foolish in nature, there is little you can do. You have been dismissed. You are gone. And even if one should take some radical action it will only lead to you looking even more foolish.
We all have our ups and downs. Defining the emotions does little to appease them however. I do think understanding why you are feeling the emotion that you do is of benefit. The benefit lies in applying this knowledge when dealing with others. Knowing your own emotional state and how it may affect your interaction with others. This is the first time I would say I am feeling dismissed.
Curious, our emotions. Why I am feeling so, I can explain. The answer however would be self serving and somewhat jaded. The only question remaining being, once dismissed do you strive for readmittance ? Or is it best to remain silent and content in the background ? One should choose their battles with care. Perhaps the issue is insignificant but never the person. That is the basis of the emotion.
You are so right and I think it is this fear of not being significant or important is what gives us that feeling of contentment when we see our grandchildren. They are our link to the future and to a place in the world.....
ReplyDeleteI agree, Ben....and I have recently experienced that same feeling of 'being dismissed.' I recognized,too,that you might be feeling that. You are not insignificant, what you say IS important...and those who read your words appreciate them. Keep writing...and realize that all authors must feel the same way at times.
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