Saturday, November 19, 2011

I've earned them

Yesterday morning, as I was leaving for work I reached down and hiked up my pants. These are the same pants I've owned and worn for quite some time. They are the correct size and I was wearing a belt. I wasn't trying to make some hip hop fashion statement, either. I remarked to my wife, I need to get suspenders. Her reply was, you're not that old. Thanking her, I went off to work.
I got to thinking about suspenders and my possible need for them. It hadn't occurred to me that it was an old man thing. The first time I started feeling older was when my barber asked me if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed. If I had a tailor would he recommend suspenders ? I like the look of suspenders, with one exception. They do tend to accentuate a pot belly. I don't have six pack abs !  I continued to think about this most of the morning. The truck had delivered our stock for the grocery store and I was engaged in putting that away. Lifting those cases of product and walking back and forth to put them on the shelves, gives you time to ponder life's great questions.
The cashiers are mostly young ladies. Most under the age of 21. The two that were working yesterday are in their teens. I noticed the customers called them, ma'am. Very nice and polite. I asked them if it every bothered them to be called ma'am ? They both replied no, and why did I ask. I said, because you are younger and  I wondered if it made you feel old. I personally would say, thank you Miss, to either of you.
It was explained to me that only old people call young ladies, Miss. Didn't know that ! This lead to another question. At what age do you go from being a Miss to a Ma'am ? And exactly where does the Ms factor in to all this ? It was determined you go from Miss to Ma'am after giving birth. Age is not the determining factor. Those pregnancy testers should just say, yes " Ma'am " instead of plus or minus. Ms applies when you don't know if they are married or have children. It's a new day, you don't have to be married to have children. But that's another whole discussion.
I  posed another question. At what age do you go from being a single lady to a spinster ? Do we still call them that ? Apparently not,as one young lady hadn't  heard the term before. I don't think society expects every gal to get married anymore. But what if she chooses an alternative lifestyle and gets married ? Would they both be spinsters ? Or is their another name for that ? I know what Dad would have called them. Not sayin'. I suppose that is to be determined.
After all this thought and discussion I finally reached a conclusion on the subject of needing suspenders. It was late into the morning and my back was feeling the strain. My feet were sore from all the walking back and forth. I needed to come out of my sweatshirt as I was beginning to perspire. And then it hit me, It  happened. I've  said it in the past many times. And now it has happened. I finally worked my ass off ! That's why I need suspenders ! Has nothing to do with age. . My wife is right. I'm not that old.
I'm considering buying those suspenders,pot belly and all. I've earned them, after all ! Now to consider the type. Oh man,that's gonna be a hard one. Narrow or wide. Elastic or leather. What type of fasteners ? I'll have to think about this.

2 comments:

  1. LOL - this reminds me of the question I've been asking myself for years now: At what point do people stop looking at you as an "attractive woman" and instead start thinking of you as an "attractive older lady" or "nice elderly woman"? People use that term in descriving old ladies all the time! Then I saw myself on the local television last week at one of my village board meetings and realized....I've definately crossed over....sigh!

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  2. I do not like being called ma'am by anyone younger then myself. I am 33, 34 in January and it's only been in the last couple of years that I have noticed people calling me ma'am. While I do know it's the polite thing to say , it makes me feel old.

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