"Beach People"

Yesterday I spoke briefly of  Memorial Day and how it has become the beginning of the " season." The season of traffic. All those people heading to the beach. I call them," the beach people." I'm annoyed by the beach people. I'm not sure where they all come from, but I can tell where they are going. Cars,mini-vans and trucks festooned with umbrellas,bicycles,coolers,surf boards,boogie boards and some pulling trailers. Heading to the beach ! Do not impede their progress toward the beach ! The beach people will run you off the road or run over top of you to achieve their objective. Like an invading army,despite casulties or any other impediment, the beach people will press on.
These people come from all walks of life. Young or Old makes no difference. Rich or poor. They all share one common goal; to reach the beach. It must be reached as soon as possible too. One must rush there to take full advantage of every possible minute. To even miss one wave rolling in ,could be a diaster. I must,must get there first.
Yesterday,I made the mistake of going to the local Dunkin' Donuts. Failing to heed my own advice and against my better judgement I went forth. Ahh, the traffic isn't too bad. Made it to the donut shop,no problem. Then,like a swarm of locusts,the beach people swept into the shop. The unmistakable sound of flip flops on the tile floor and that determined look on their faces sent a chill down my spine. My first thought was, protect the grand daughter. I quickly stepped between her and the oncoming crowd. Before I could act any further, the orders for coffee and donuts were being shouted out. As I looked at that crowd of people dressed in shorts,tank tops,various pieces of beach apparel and the ever present sun glasses I knew I should just surrender.
It is something I've noticed about the beach people. Even though most do not know each other or have any other connection, they travel in packs. On the highway they will be in huge packs. In rest areas, or little shops along the way,they will decend in packs. They can disappear as quickly as they arrive too.Another common trait is rudeness. They will push and shove to get to the front of any line. If you are not dressed in the uniform of the Beach People ,you are the enemy. You are to be ignored as inconsequential and nothing more than an impediment to progress. Beach People insist on being served first,irregardless,and there needs are to be satisfied ; pronto !
I did ,last year,join this migration to the beach. It was only for a day but for that day I was a Beach Person. But like any new recruit I was inexperienced. I didn't get served first and didn't get the best possible parking spot. I didn't have an umbrella or even the coolest sunglasses. To put it simply, I was a Beach Person, but a nerdy one. My legs and chest are very white. Farmers tans are not cool !
Well.I've always thought of man as a land based animal anyway. Swimming is just not my forte. Fishing and clamming are. I enjoy the water,more being on top of it than  in it. I don't care much for crowds either. When I do go to the beach I don't want to be crowded. Sitting there in cutoff shorts and no shirt I feel like it should be a little private.
So,I'll try to remember my own advive and stay put on the weekends. Get my donuts early. I'll start going the back way more often and do a little sightseeing along the way. Unlike the beach, the store will still be there if I arrive ten minutes later.