an idea that endures

 Do you feel an obligation? It is becoming an ever increasing thing with me. I wonder if that is just another one of those things that come with aging. We all laugh and kid about that, there is little else one can do. This obligation concerns my contribution. What have I contributed to this world? I believe we are all here for a purpose, to fulfill some destiny, some function or purpose. The universe is too ordered to be a completely random thing. Surely that extends to life. All of that is the providence of religious leaders and philosophers. I don't consider myself either of those. My faith is on shaky ground and my philosophy ever changing. All I can do is continue on the path, not knowing when or where. I'm alright with that but the why is a concern. It is the why that creates the obligation. Just what am I supposed to contribute?

 The older I get the more I am aware of the passing of others. By aware I mean not just the simple grief that accompanies that reality but an awareness of their contribution as a whole. We attempt to summarize that in an obituary. This is who they were. The words always fall short to those that really knew the person. In working on the family tree I have uncovered obituaries from the distant past, brief passages about an ancestor. Most often mentioned are those the deceased leaves behind, the phrase being, they are survived by. A strange phrase in my opinion. But then again we all survive day by day don't we? By what power do we survive? More philosophy, more wonder. I do feel like those obituaries have brought me closer to those I never knew. That is to say, I know something about them beyond a name and a date. A summary of their life? A synopsis? Yes you could say that. 

 As to obligation, I feel I have one. Just to whom I haven't decided just yet, perhaps I never will. All I can do is offer what I'm willing to give. Today we hear an awful lot about sacrifice. Sacrifice is what we are willing to give in exchange. The question is, what is it you wish to receive? To be remembered has to be the objective. All material things are transient. Fame ensures you will be remembered, at least for a while. Meaningful contributions to society will be remembered. Still, it is said that fame is a fleeting thing and there is truth in that. History written and rewritten one can go from hero to villain. The statues and memorials of yesterday replaced by the hero's of today. 

 Ideas endure. That is what I have determined so far in this life. The ideas of my grandparents, parents and my own ideas endure over time. Those ideas drift in and out of favor, no denying that, but they endure. We change the words, the manner of expression, but the idea remains. We are here for a greater purpose. There is more to life than living. The first person to draw a picture on the wall of a cave had that thought. The first person to stare at the stars surely had that thought, that idea. Where do we fit into that? Is that dependent upon your contribution? Will the idea survive without your contribution? Yes I suppose it will, but still, I have this idea. I have something yet to contribute, not sacrifice. And yes they are different things altogether. But then perhaps I have yet to make the sacrifice? Perhaps that is what is missing. It's just that in my thinking a sacrifice is given in the hope of a return. Seems selfish in a way. A contribution however has no such expectation. It's a gift. Is there a reward? Guess that all depends doesn't it? Do you have an expectation of reward? It's an idea that endures.