A love that speaks truth

  Stable or stubborn? That's the question to be answered. I read a meme on Facebook regarding our children. It was expressing the sentiment about always wanting your children to come home. At the heart of that sentiment is that feeling we describe as "home." Home is where the heart is, wherever I hang my hat is home, Home Sweet Home, and a hundred other sentiments. But home is supposed to be that safe space, that place we remember as children. The meme I read was saying how I wish my children to always come home, to be comforted, find solace and security in being with me. The building doesn't really make any difference, the building isn't home. At the center of that, the true home, is being with those that know you the best. It is those people that you should feel the most comfortable, the most secure, the most relaxed and vulnerable with. With those folks you are willing to expose yourself and your true emotions. A safe harbor. That is what every parent wishes they have created. 

 I had read a few years back another paragraph expressing such sentiments. It reads somewhat like a script from a Hallmark movie special, an ideal. It's a wonderful thought, a beautiful illusion. I like to believe that it is a reality in my world. My children are always welcome here a safe harbor from the world outside. A port available for every storm or a place to vacation, depending upon the circumstance. But that is where the question enters the conversation. Is it stable or stubborn? What I mean is simply, I will tell them the same thing I have always told them regarding the circumstances of life. They will hear the same advice, the same suggestions, the same "truths" I have always told them. In short I guess what I'm trying to say is they won't find much new here. I make no apologies for the past but will offer explanations. I believe they know what to expect, and in that find comfort and confidence. That is what sentiment is all about, familiarity and security. It's not about a place of non-judgement, that place is non-existent, a figment of our imaginations, perhaps even a dream, but rather a place of honest emotions tempered by love. A love that speaks truth. 

  As your children grow that becomes the relationship. It's a struggle between your truth, the truth you taught them and the truth they adopt. All three are different. The truth is that began shortly after their birth. We have names for the different stages. Each stage being what truths they are considering at the time. What truths work best for them in their world? It's the reason some children want to emulate their parents and others rebel against them. We call it finding their way in the world. It's true all we can do is point them in the general direction, the path chosen is up to them. Over the years your truth may change, the truth you teach may change and the truth they adopt will change as well. Still the hope is that they will always come home, come back to the source. It's like that old saying. " If you love it, let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be." Or any variation of that sentiment. I want my children to have learned at least one lesson, one truth, from me. I love them and will always love them, even when they disagree with me. So, stop by anytime you like, for any reason or no reason, make yourself comfortable, you are home.