It is time for the mailing of the Christmas cards. Some of this has been replaced with e-mail and Facebook messenger. I predict there will come a day when the annual mailing will be no more, except for a few nostalgic old folks clinging to the past. I admit I still haven't finished my mailings and here we are down to single digits. Yes I complain about the cost of a postage stamp but that isn't the reason for the lack of mailing. I have been procrastinating. I have received a few and so I'm thinking other folks have been dragging their feet on this also. Not that I'm expecting a certain number, but you know how it goes. I just got one from an old and dear friend that drew my attention to all of this. When I got the card there was an " inside joke " notated on the envelope. It is just a simple phrase, a moniker of sorts, that was used in jest between friends. It was that reminder of the past that sprouted this thought, some old friends are relationships stuck in time. Separated by time and distance the friendship remains as it was. It is a comforting thing.
We call these folks old friends and that is because we have grown old. Strangely the relationship hasn't aged a bit. This is especially true with those old school chums. After we graduate from high school and go off into the world in pursuit of our dreams we leave many behind. If we don't see them, or stay in touch on a frequent basis, the relationship remains stagnant. Time and distance changes us all, that is the natural process of growth. I'll remember you as you were, not as you are. Relationships develop and grow by shared experience. When experiences are no longer shared, growth stops. Those we choose to stay in touch with, those on those Christmas card list, are the ones were we feel the relationship hasn't reached a conclusion. The friendship remains in limbo, stuck in time.
I do think, on a subconscious level, we leave these relationships untouched for selfish reasons. I would rather just remember you as you were. All those years ago you knew my hopes and dreams, I spoke of my expectations with the bravado of youth, All hasn't gone as I was convinced it would. I'm equally as certain that your life hasn't progressed as you imagined either. As I said earlier, growth comes from shared experiences and I haven't shared my experiences with you. Oh, I may have shared some positive experiences with you, bragging about an accomplishment or some good fortune. I may even have shared something that hurt me deeply, like the loss of a loved one, something like that. Still, we didn't share that experience on a personal level, that can only be done in person.
Memory and nostalgia are connected to the ethereal. I hesitate to handle such things preferring they remain as they were. As I said, a comfort. I am keenly aware that time changes us all. I am not the person I was in 1971. Those " old friends " are not the same people they were either. Our experiences have molded us, adapting us to our environments. Would I still fit into their world ? Would they fit into mine ? I wonder does the " glue " that first bound us together retain its' adhesion ? My hope is that it would. Could old memories sustain a new friendship ? I believe they could if those old memories were the foundation. If we have adhered to our core beliefs, remained true to ourselves, we really haven't changed all that much. If we were genuine then, and remain genuine today, that " glue " will still hold. Still, I believe our memories can be a gift. You shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. That is what I was told and perhaps I am just now beginning to understand the wisdom of that old idiom. There are some things best left alone, just enjoyed for what they were.
We call these folks old friends and that is because we have grown old. Strangely the relationship hasn't aged a bit. This is especially true with those old school chums. After we graduate from high school and go off into the world in pursuit of our dreams we leave many behind. If we don't see them, or stay in touch on a frequent basis, the relationship remains stagnant. Time and distance changes us all, that is the natural process of growth. I'll remember you as you were, not as you are. Relationships develop and grow by shared experience. When experiences are no longer shared, growth stops. Those we choose to stay in touch with, those on those Christmas card list, are the ones were we feel the relationship hasn't reached a conclusion. The friendship remains in limbo, stuck in time.
I do think, on a subconscious level, we leave these relationships untouched for selfish reasons. I would rather just remember you as you were. All those years ago you knew my hopes and dreams, I spoke of my expectations with the bravado of youth, All hasn't gone as I was convinced it would. I'm equally as certain that your life hasn't progressed as you imagined either. As I said earlier, growth comes from shared experiences and I haven't shared my experiences with you. Oh, I may have shared some positive experiences with you, bragging about an accomplishment or some good fortune. I may even have shared something that hurt me deeply, like the loss of a loved one, something like that. Still, we didn't share that experience on a personal level, that can only be done in person.
Memory and nostalgia are connected to the ethereal. I hesitate to handle such things preferring they remain as they were. As I said, a comfort. I am keenly aware that time changes us all. I am not the person I was in 1971. Those " old friends " are not the same people they were either. Our experiences have molded us, adapting us to our environments. Would I still fit into their world ? Would they fit into mine ? I wonder does the " glue " that first bound us together retain its' adhesion ? My hope is that it would. Could old memories sustain a new friendship ? I believe they could if those old memories were the foundation. If we have adhered to our core beliefs, remained true to ourselves, we really haven't changed all that much. If we were genuine then, and remain genuine today, that " glue " will still hold. Still, I believe our memories can be a gift. You shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. That is what I was told and perhaps I am just now beginning to understand the wisdom of that old idiom. There are some things best left alone, just enjoyed for what they were.
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