I posted on my Facebook timeline a small description of an incident my grandson was involved in. He was the referee during a recreational soccer game when a parent became irate. This " lady " and I use that term loosely here, cussed at him, called him a name and finished up by giving him the middle finger. Very classy behavior. That posting received a number of " likes " as a sign of support. It also generated some comments. The grandson is fine and it doesn't seem to bother him. His major concern was the feelings of this mothers' son. He said how embarrassed that boy must have been. Needless to say I am quite proud of him and the way he handled the situation. The parent was ejected ! And he stood his ground on that decision.
I know that this sort of thing is nothing new. Sadly, it is an all too often occurrence. Now I can understand emotions running a little high when you feel your child is being unjustly singled out. I can understand the raised volume and presenting your argument and displeasure. What I don't understand is the choice of language and gestures. My grandson is 14 years old. This lady's son was about 11 or twelve. Just what kind of example is she showing ? I have said it before and I believe it is worth repeating, children are like mirrors, they reflect what you show them. This lady had to be escorted from the field before the game could continue.
I do believe that some of this is a reflection of society today. Especially so the language. When we use certain words and terms regularly they become habit. Then when our anger is aroused we resort to using those same words ! When I was a child this sort of thing happened but the language didn't fly like that. Men tempered their choice of words in front of the ladies and children. Ladies didn't use that type of language at all, at least not in public. But somewhere, at some point, all of this became " acceptable. " It somehow became a symbol of freedom and equality. Yeah, right, like using coarse and vulgar language and gestures is a sign of maturity. I know it leaves me impressed. ( sarcasm )
I know it is cliché but back in my day if someone had behaved in that fashion the other parents at the game would have intervened. This lady would have been silenced rather quickly by her peers. In another reflection of the times it also wouldn't be wise to do so. You could get yourself shot these days ! Well that may be a bit extreme but you know what I'm saying. One does have to be a bit more careful now. The reactions of other so called " adults " can not be relied upon. If you don't get physically attacked you might get sued. I'm betting there are lawyers for that.
I have written about this stuff before. In our modern times, I lived in the stone age just ask my grandchildren, there are so many more organized activities for the kids. This is especially so in sports. Now we have soccer and lacrosse, two sports that were not all that popular back then. The teams are organized and funded. Uniforms are in proliferation and there are coaches galore. We hand out trophies, to almost every team or person participating, and take the whole deal a great deal more seriously. It is all of that, that also creates the situations we are seeing. We are losing sight of the goal. The goal is not to win the game but to teach the children how to succeed in life through the lessons of sports. I just read recently a blog written about being a coach. The article points out how it is far more important to teach a child how to lose, with dignity, than to just win. The blog says much more than that and addresses the issue far better than I am here.
Well it is the world we live in and we should teach our children to live in that world. That doesn't mean we can't show them alternatives to the choices being made. What is it that Mom used to say ? " If everyone else was jumping off the bridge, would you do that too ? " So if everyone else is yelling, cussing and gesturing should you do the same ? Making the correct decision isn't always easy or popular. We need to teach our children that and the best way is by example. I certainly don't like what I am seeing !
http://karrickdyer.com/2015/10/21/i-never-thought-it-would-end-this-way/
That is the link to the article I mentioned. I believe it should be required reading for any coach or parent of any child playing a sport. Mr, Dyer is to be commended for this effort in writing. I hope the link works but if it doesn't it is still worth the effort to type in manually, trust me.
I know that this sort of thing is nothing new. Sadly, it is an all too often occurrence. Now I can understand emotions running a little high when you feel your child is being unjustly singled out. I can understand the raised volume and presenting your argument and displeasure. What I don't understand is the choice of language and gestures. My grandson is 14 years old. This lady's son was about 11 or twelve. Just what kind of example is she showing ? I have said it before and I believe it is worth repeating, children are like mirrors, they reflect what you show them. This lady had to be escorted from the field before the game could continue.
I do believe that some of this is a reflection of society today. Especially so the language. When we use certain words and terms regularly they become habit. Then when our anger is aroused we resort to using those same words ! When I was a child this sort of thing happened but the language didn't fly like that. Men tempered their choice of words in front of the ladies and children. Ladies didn't use that type of language at all, at least not in public. But somewhere, at some point, all of this became " acceptable. " It somehow became a symbol of freedom and equality. Yeah, right, like using coarse and vulgar language and gestures is a sign of maturity. I know it leaves me impressed. ( sarcasm )
I know it is cliché but back in my day if someone had behaved in that fashion the other parents at the game would have intervened. This lady would have been silenced rather quickly by her peers. In another reflection of the times it also wouldn't be wise to do so. You could get yourself shot these days ! Well that may be a bit extreme but you know what I'm saying. One does have to be a bit more careful now. The reactions of other so called " adults " can not be relied upon. If you don't get physically attacked you might get sued. I'm betting there are lawyers for that.
I have written about this stuff before. In our modern times, I lived in the stone age just ask my grandchildren, there are so many more organized activities for the kids. This is especially so in sports. Now we have soccer and lacrosse, two sports that were not all that popular back then. The teams are organized and funded. Uniforms are in proliferation and there are coaches galore. We hand out trophies, to almost every team or person participating, and take the whole deal a great deal more seriously. It is all of that, that also creates the situations we are seeing. We are losing sight of the goal. The goal is not to win the game but to teach the children how to succeed in life through the lessons of sports. I just read recently a blog written about being a coach. The article points out how it is far more important to teach a child how to lose, with dignity, than to just win. The blog says much more than that and addresses the issue far better than I am here.
Well it is the world we live in and we should teach our children to live in that world. That doesn't mean we can't show them alternatives to the choices being made. What is it that Mom used to say ? " If everyone else was jumping off the bridge, would you do that too ? " So if everyone else is yelling, cussing and gesturing should you do the same ? Making the correct decision isn't always easy or popular. We need to teach our children that and the best way is by example. I certainly don't like what I am seeing !
http://karrickdyer.com/2015/10/21/i-never-thought-it-would-end-this-way/
That is the link to the article I mentioned. I believe it should be required reading for any coach or parent of any child playing a sport. Mr, Dyer is to be commended for this effort in writing. I hope the link works but if it doesn't it is still worth the effort to type in manually, trust me.
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