We may live with sorrow, whereas grief becomes intolerable. It is my thinking that as we age we learn to live with sorrow and it is that sorrow that molds our countenance. In this usage countenance being the ability to admit, or accept as possible. When we lose those that we love and knew we go through a grieving process. The end result of that process is sorrow. It never leaves us. It is that realization that creates our countenance. Some of us become grumpy old men, mad at the world and upset by our loses. For others we become calm and compassionate, understanding the loss as inevitable. Sorrow becomes the burden we bear, and we carry it with dignity and grace. Our days of bluster and rage left behind and replaced with introspection. We begin to see the importance of life, and accept the inevitability of death.
I was thinking about this as I looked at a picture. It is a picture of my brother, fishing. He has been gone almost a year now and I miss him. Looking at that picture however I can hear his voice and know his manner. From that I was reminded how many times this happens. It is not always preceded by a picture, sometimes a word spoken in a certain fashion or some other little thing triggers that memory, The truth is it triggers sorrow. I feel the sorrow of his passing, I feel the sorrow of not being able to " see " him. With that trigger, sorrow is released. It is vented off so as not to cause the return of grief ! Grief is sudden and explosive. We must learn to temper our grief, tame it into sorrow.
I don't believe we ever become used to the loss. We do learn how to live with it, live with the sorrow. We relish in the memory of that person. We appreciate the gift that they truly were in our lives. It has been said many times, you don't know what you are missing until you don't have it anymore. The constants in our lives do change over the years and become fewer. I think that is why older people can become confused, too many changes. I find myself wanting to rebel at times and at others I want to surrender. The fact is there is nothing to fight and therefore no requirement to surrender. The world turns and life moves ever forward. I carry the memories of those I have known within me. They are not gone really, just waiting patiently for me to catch up. They have time and so do I !
I was thinking about this as I looked at a picture. It is a picture of my brother, fishing. He has been gone almost a year now and I miss him. Looking at that picture however I can hear his voice and know his manner. From that I was reminded how many times this happens. It is not always preceded by a picture, sometimes a word spoken in a certain fashion or some other little thing triggers that memory, The truth is it triggers sorrow. I feel the sorrow of his passing, I feel the sorrow of not being able to " see " him. With that trigger, sorrow is released. It is vented off so as not to cause the return of grief ! Grief is sudden and explosive. We must learn to temper our grief, tame it into sorrow.
I don't believe we ever become used to the loss. We do learn how to live with it, live with the sorrow. We relish in the memory of that person. We appreciate the gift that they truly were in our lives. It has been said many times, you don't know what you are missing until you don't have it anymore. The constants in our lives do change over the years and become fewer. I think that is why older people can become confused, too many changes. I find myself wanting to rebel at times and at others I want to surrender. The fact is there is nothing to fight and therefore no requirement to surrender. The world turns and life moves ever forward. I carry the memories of those I have known within me. They are not gone really, just waiting patiently for me to catch up. They have time and so do I !
No comments:
Post a Comment