Therapy for the soul

 It is a small piece of vanity I suppose. Each morning before I compose another post I check the " stats " on my previous one. How many " page views " did I garner ? It also shows me how many posts I have posted. I noticed this morning that this posting will be number one thousand eight hundred. That is a lot of posting ! That equates to 4.928 years. Almost every day, I have missed a few. I didn't expect this when I started, not sure what I expected, but am pleased with the result so far. My original intent was to just leave a record of my thoughts and memories. I do like having the last word, as anyone that knows me will attest. These blogs are the written testament of Ben. Should arguments arise later on they could be used for reference. Of course they are subject to interpretation. That happens with all documents, Just what did the author mean ? I do attempt to explain things as clearly as I can. There are reservations, as I believe in a sense of propriety.One should not air their dirty laundry.

 In the last year or so I have taken to pontificating a bit more. These lectures,tirades or just plain musings are an attempt to explain my thought process. It is just as important to me for others to understand the way I reach my conclusions as the conclusion itself. It often sounds like I am trying to convince others of my opinion. Well, of course I am, I believe my opinions to be correct so why wouldn't I ? That is not to say that yours is wrong however, just that we may differ. The art of compromise is a difficult one to master.The free exchange of ideas is essential to the development of any relationship. That goes for countries as well as individuals. It is an art that is being lost.

 In another bit of vanity I wonder if my words have inspired anyone else ? Have I provided any insight ? I do think about that and then chastise myself for it. These blogs are not for that purpose, they are written for myself. I say that I want to leave my thoughts behind for others to read. They are not written as a guide for life ! That is a bit pretentious. I do realize that each of us are complicated beings. I am no exception. Complex does not necessarily mean better than. The simple things in life are best, isn't that the saying ? I believe that to be true because we have a complete understanding of those simple things. The more complex aspects of life and living can become confusing. 

 I continue to entertain the idea of writing a book. I would want this book to be something more than just entertainment however. I admit to reading books for that sole purpose though, so I am grateful to those that write those stories. I have learned things from those books. The challenge for me would be to combine the two. To entertain and inform. Sounds like a documentary. That's not a bestseller ! And I want my book to be just that. Doesn't any author want that ? I think the trick is to tell people what they already know, just say it in a different way. A way that awakens their awareness to whatever subject matter you are writing about. I do believe that the majority of us have a story to tell. Could I write a blog and a book ? I have no formal training in writing or composition. Apparently that hasn't hindered my blogging, why should it hinder a book ? 

 Maybe it is time for a reevaluation of this blogging. I often struggle to write about something of interest. Or, more properly, what I feel may be of interest to others. That was not my original idea. It has taken me down a different path that much is sure. I occasionally write about the more controversial subjects but tend to avoid them. I sometimes just write a story about my personal experience. I have formed an opinion about just who my " audience " is. That opinion may or may not be accurate. Journalistic integrity comes into question in these situations. Am I writing my thoughts or writing for approval ?  

 So here it is, post number eighteen hundred. Somehow it feels like a milestone. What is the significance of that number ? Is there any significance ? I suppose if I feel that there is, there is. Wonder what it could be ? Guess I'll write about that. Wait a minute, I already have. If I am writing and checking on the readership is that a sign of vanity ? You would have to say, yes. Is there a limit to my vanity ? Well, apparently not so far. Then again, I think we should allow ourselves a bit of vanity, it is therapy for the soul. As with all things moderation is the key. A blog a day isn't excessive. Writing a book ? I'll have to think some more about that and the motivation for doing so.