Whispered information

 I believe I have learned more useful information through whispers, rather than shouts. It is the little snide remarks or offhand comments that often reflect what a person is really thinking. I'm not talking about the telling of secrets here but those comments made without thought. Perhaps they are being offered as a joke. All humor has it's basis in truth. I do think if we were to pay attention to those things, those things that do not draw our attention, a lot can be gained. The gain I mean is personal gain in our character. Shakespeare pointed out that each of us are here to play a part, be a character on the grand stage, should we not develop our character ? Actors will ask the director for motivation.  What are your motivations in life ? Wealth, friendship, popularity, respect or something else ?  Motivations define our character. We use motivation to justify our actions.
 What I am thinking about however, has little to do with motivations, but everything to do with actions. I'm talking about the way we conduct ourselves. It is the whispers that tell us what other peoples perceptions of our actions really are. Do you laugh a little too often or repeat your words ? Are there whispers that you think you know it all ? Is that a perception others have of your character ? Are you perceived as narcissistic or vain ? Are you genuine ? Those are the traits you will here in whispers. Shouts only let you know the other person is upset ! Words spoken in anger and frustration are often not completely accurate. They may hold some truth, but are not offered in a constructive way.
 The question is, should we care what others think about us ? I think we should. It is easy to dismiss our shortcomings if we don't admit to them. It is far more difficult to make adjustments to our character. We call it growth ! We should never stop growing. I tend to grow only when I agree with others observations of my behaviors. I have to discover that for myself, as I tend to get my back up when my shortcomings are pointed out to me. If you try to tell me, most likely, I will not listen. My character has a stubborn streak. How are our characters developed ? Being aware of that process is what causes growth. I think that we develop our character based upon the expectations of others. That starts with our parents, then with our friends and eventually our co-workers. I'm not saying that we should, just that I believe that we do. Our character can range from the sublime to the eccentric. That, I think, depends upon the role you wish to play. That role will, and should, change over time. The dismissal of other's opinions and observations will tend to lead us toward the eccentric, whereas close adherence to the rules of society will have the opposite effect. Finding the balance is the key. We should care what others' think about us only as a standard.
 I'm thinking that this blog may have wandered of a bit. The concept or idea I am trying to express is a bit of a shadow. What I am thinking about is when you hear a whispered comment, not necessarily mean spirited, but an honest statement about your character. A statement someone  would probably never say to you directly. A person with tact is what I mean. They are accepting of that behavior but find it noteworthy. It may be a good thing and we accept that as fact. If what is being whispered is something we do not want to hear about ourselves our reaction will be different. It is those times when I learn that useful information. It is that information that I decide whether I should act upon it or not. A change in character ? First you need motivation. Character development is a lifelong endeavor. At least it should be.