It is an old African proverb that says, " it takes a village to raise a child. " I couldn't agree with that more. I would add that I was fortunate enough to live in such a village. Well, more properly I didn't live in the village, but went there frequently. I lived in the town. For those of you that may not be aware New York state has Cities, Towns, Villages and hamlets. A village may or may not be " incorporated. " Those designations vary from state to state. But I was born in a town and lived in town. The village helped in my raising.
The proverb itself can be understood to mean several things. I take it literally. I believe that it means that parents alone cannot raise a child. It takes the combined efforts of a "village" to accomplish the task. The village provides insight and balance. The village represents society in general and demonstrates what is expected of its' citizens. In other words the village will teach us how to act ! The village also provides security and reassurance. The later is the primary function of a community( village), whether that community is large or small. I was very lucky to be a recipient of that security and reassurance.
I was raised in a town where children were pretty much free to roam. The streets were safe enough and predators were few. The truth is we were never far from supervision. That is the " village " referred to in that proverb. Almost any adult could, and would, step in to supervise your behavior ! That supervision would stop just short of corporal punishment, although it may include a form of mild restraint ! Behavior inconsistent with what was expected was reported to your parents. That was a given and I was well aware of that. Often infractions were reported before I even reached home. Not a good thing for me, at least not at that time, but it was part of my raising.
I see problems with the youth of today and some of it stems from this lack of a village. The village of today is more likely to be a social media site. This social media also may limit the inhabitants of the village to a select age group, That isn't a good thing either ! Little or no supervision there. I think it is not so much that parents today are using social media and electronic devices as babysitters, as it is what is available. This lack of community has bred an atmosphere of distrust and fostered a good amount of paranoia. Is it justified ? That is a question for sociologists to respond too. I do think one has led to the other. The children of today are certainly more closely supervised in their activities than the children of my generation. Almost all social activities, except social media, includes adult supervision. The difference today is those adults are there to act more as monitors and reporting agencies than assisting in the raising of the children. There are many reasons for that. The least of them being the attitudes of the parents ! In my day what was reported to my parents was taken as fact, unless I could prove otherwise ! If the teacher punished me, I probably deserved it ! If Mr or Mrs X reported some infraction of social standards to my parents, I was punished. Was it 100% fair ? Nope, but I learned a valuable lesson, life isn't always fair either. I learned to be respectful and considerate of others. I learned that others have different opinions and that is alright. I learned that actions have consequences. Whether those actions were words or a physical thing, there were consequences. I would be held accountable. In a larger sense I learned that I was accountable to the entire village. I think that is what is missing today. Too much excusing of behaviors that are unacceptable. Funny how as our world grows smaller the less we interact with one another.on a personal level. I knew the shop owners and my neighbors. When going down the streets I knew the names of the people living in those houses. It was that knowledge that made them homes. You respect peoples homes and property. Today, not so much, nameless faces and houses. We are taught to be wary of strangers. And the sad part is those strangers live next door.
Just how it came to be I am not sure. Now children riding their bicycles or just playing on the playground unaccompanied by an adult are called into question. The parents " allowing " this are also called into question. When my parents figured I had matured sufficiently to know how to conduct myself I was given permission to wander. At first it was just the neighborhood but over time that was expanded. I became a member of the " village. "
The proverb itself can be understood to mean several things. I take it literally. I believe that it means that parents alone cannot raise a child. It takes the combined efforts of a "village" to accomplish the task. The village provides insight and balance. The village represents society in general and demonstrates what is expected of its' citizens. In other words the village will teach us how to act ! The village also provides security and reassurance. The later is the primary function of a community( village), whether that community is large or small. I was very lucky to be a recipient of that security and reassurance.
I was raised in a town where children were pretty much free to roam. The streets were safe enough and predators were few. The truth is we were never far from supervision. That is the " village " referred to in that proverb. Almost any adult could, and would, step in to supervise your behavior ! That supervision would stop just short of corporal punishment, although it may include a form of mild restraint ! Behavior inconsistent with what was expected was reported to your parents. That was a given and I was well aware of that. Often infractions were reported before I even reached home. Not a good thing for me, at least not at that time, but it was part of my raising.
I see problems with the youth of today and some of it stems from this lack of a village. The village of today is more likely to be a social media site. This social media also may limit the inhabitants of the village to a select age group, That isn't a good thing either ! Little or no supervision there. I think it is not so much that parents today are using social media and electronic devices as babysitters, as it is what is available. This lack of community has bred an atmosphere of distrust and fostered a good amount of paranoia. Is it justified ? That is a question for sociologists to respond too. I do think one has led to the other. The children of today are certainly more closely supervised in their activities than the children of my generation. Almost all social activities, except social media, includes adult supervision. The difference today is those adults are there to act more as monitors and reporting agencies than assisting in the raising of the children. There are many reasons for that. The least of them being the attitudes of the parents ! In my day what was reported to my parents was taken as fact, unless I could prove otherwise ! If the teacher punished me, I probably deserved it ! If Mr or Mrs X reported some infraction of social standards to my parents, I was punished. Was it 100% fair ? Nope, but I learned a valuable lesson, life isn't always fair either. I learned to be respectful and considerate of others. I learned that others have different opinions and that is alright. I learned that actions have consequences. Whether those actions were words or a physical thing, there were consequences. I would be held accountable. In a larger sense I learned that I was accountable to the entire village. I think that is what is missing today. Too much excusing of behaviors that are unacceptable. Funny how as our world grows smaller the less we interact with one another.on a personal level. I knew the shop owners and my neighbors. When going down the streets I knew the names of the people living in those houses. It was that knowledge that made them homes. You respect peoples homes and property. Today, not so much, nameless faces and houses. We are taught to be wary of strangers. And the sad part is those strangers live next door.
Just how it came to be I am not sure. Now children riding their bicycles or just playing on the playground unaccompanied by an adult are called into question. The parents " allowing " this are also called into question. When my parents figured I had matured sufficiently to know how to conduct myself I was given permission to wander. At first it was just the neighborhood but over time that was expanded. I became a member of the " village. "
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