As I browse my facebook timeline, or whatever you call it, I see a lot of familiar names. Names I can place with faces, but faces back in time. Some, I must admit,are faded and some I really don't recall.Well after 45 years it is no wonder. Still I feel a connection with these names and faces. I am drawn to them like a magnet. I walk in the corridors of my memory, sometimes dimly lighted, and find my way.
Now some of you I knew quite well and some were just casual acquaintances. The ones I knew the best I am curious about. I ask myself, what have they become ? Are they anything like the people I knew all those years ago ? Did they go on to fulfill their expectations and dreams ? There are some that I have thought of quite often in fact. Yes, they were daydreams, little flights of fancy to ease a troubled mind, but thoughts nonetheless. It is a little amusement to think about those things and it does no harm. I can also say I never felt compelled to act upon any of those thoughts. Very pleasant memories of those times and the people.
In the same line of thought I question myself. What have I become ? That question is one deserving of thought as well. Self examination is important to achieving maturity. I'm not sure I have succeeded in that, but I'm still trying. But to answer the question, what have I become, is an exercise not lightly undertaken. My blogs over the last four years would certainly shed some insight but would not be definitive. That is because there are some things I do not write about and share publicly. The other issue is one of bias, I am definitely biased when it comes to self evaluation. I may have an opinion on the truth, but that is what it is, an opinion. Even when I am sure of the truth I may not wish to share that.
I can share this much in all honesty. I am not the man I thought I wanted to be, or expected to be, for that matter. We can not control the future and it is those unforeseen circumstances that force our hand. I learned to adapt to my circumstances, even when I was the one that created that circumstance. Stubborn pride. I have found that to be the greatest stumbling block of all. Pride is a foe that is difficult to defeat. What is strange about that is once you have defeated pride, you have no pride at all ! That is not a good thing either.
We use the expression, " what will become of him or her." Just what does that imply ? I think it means we are wondering about how that person will be remembered. In the end, that is what we become, other people's memories. We become a memory. It is something we all want isn't it ? To be remembered. But not just to be remembered, but spoken of and admired for the life we lived. What example did we leave ? But this is beginning to sound a little morbid and that is not my intent. My intent was to convey a thought I have and I'm certain you all must also. How did we turn out ? The kids of the sixties from small town USA. What have we become ? We haven't become anything yet, we are still a work in process. I believe our foundations are strong and for that we should all be grateful. The finished product is our own responsibility. Am I " becoming " ? Becoming is attractive, meaning, drawn to. That is what we usually think of when we hear that phrase. It is not that meaning that I had in mind at the beginning of this post. What I hope to have conveyed is how much we have changed over the years. I not sure how " mature " I have become but I am getting older.
Now some of you I knew quite well and some were just casual acquaintances. The ones I knew the best I am curious about. I ask myself, what have they become ? Are they anything like the people I knew all those years ago ? Did they go on to fulfill their expectations and dreams ? There are some that I have thought of quite often in fact. Yes, they were daydreams, little flights of fancy to ease a troubled mind, but thoughts nonetheless. It is a little amusement to think about those things and it does no harm. I can also say I never felt compelled to act upon any of those thoughts. Very pleasant memories of those times and the people.
In the same line of thought I question myself. What have I become ? That question is one deserving of thought as well. Self examination is important to achieving maturity. I'm not sure I have succeeded in that, but I'm still trying. But to answer the question, what have I become, is an exercise not lightly undertaken. My blogs over the last four years would certainly shed some insight but would not be definitive. That is because there are some things I do not write about and share publicly. The other issue is one of bias, I am definitely biased when it comes to self evaluation. I may have an opinion on the truth, but that is what it is, an opinion. Even when I am sure of the truth I may not wish to share that.
I can share this much in all honesty. I am not the man I thought I wanted to be, or expected to be, for that matter. We can not control the future and it is those unforeseen circumstances that force our hand. I learned to adapt to my circumstances, even when I was the one that created that circumstance. Stubborn pride. I have found that to be the greatest stumbling block of all. Pride is a foe that is difficult to defeat. What is strange about that is once you have defeated pride, you have no pride at all ! That is not a good thing either.
We use the expression, " what will become of him or her." Just what does that imply ? I think it means we are wondering about how that person will be remembered. In the end, that is what we become, other people's memories. We become a memory. It is something we all want isn't it ? To be remembered. But not just to be remembered, but spoken of and admired for the life we lived. What example did we leave ? But this is beginning to sound a little morbid and that is not my intent. My intent was to convey a thought I have and I'm certain you all must also. How did we turn out ? The kids of the sixties from small town USA. What have we become ? We haven't become anything yet, we are still a work in process. I believe our foundations are strong and for that we should all be grateful. The finished product is our own responsibility. Am I " becoming " ? Becoming is attractive, meaning, drawn to. That is what we usually think of when we hear that phrase. It is not that meaning that I had in mind at the beginning of this post. What I hope to have conveyed is how much we have changed over the years. I not sure how " mature " I have become but I am getting older.
No comments:
Post a Comment